My father is kissing another woman. This woman isn’t my mother. My heart begins to pound extremely fast and loud. Loud enough that I think that even both my father and that woman he is with would be able to hear it. My whole body begins to ache and sweat is dripping down from my forehead. I begin to cry. All these thoughts run through my head. The last thought that I am left with is why? Why would he do this? Why would he want to hurt my mother? Why would he do this to my sister and I? I start to step back slowly. I loose my footing and fall onto my back. The sound of my body hitting a trashcan, followed by the floor pierces through the air. I hear mumbling from inside. I look up and see my father standing in the office backdoor. He looks terrified. His brown eyes stare down into my soul I can feel it. He has a cap flipped backwards on his head, this is obviously to cover his grey hairs, he is wearing a white business shirt, which is half unbuttoned and black business pants. I never recalled him putting on so much weight, but in the last few months he has as well as he has aged about 10 years from the shock of seeing me at the office catching him out.
‘Wha.. what are you doing here Tyler?’ his voice extremely shaken.
‘How could you, who is she, what are you doing?’ I scream at him.
I look over behind him in the office is his lady friend, she has tears in her eyes as if she knows she has done wrong. Her long blonde hair is in a ponytail and she looks quite pretty. If it weren’t for her seeing a married man I would think that she was a nice person. I look back at him. I stare dead into his eyes.
‘You don’t understand.. I just’
‘You just what, decided to sleep with another woman when you have one you are clearly married to at home’ I cut him off ‘The same woman you said I do to 23 years ago?’ Tears pour down my face as I realize that the man standing in front of me is nothing more than a gutless excuse of a parent.
‘Please don’t tell your mother, for our family’ He begs.
I turn my back to him. Take a deep breath.
‘Why should I do that?’ I question.
‘Your mother and I have had our troubles I want to work through them’ He gulps
‘I want to work through them, this was the last time I was going to see Debbie’
Debbie the name runs through my head. I have no idea why he would want to see someone else while still married. Although they both fight but realistically what couple doesn’t fight I continue to think. I look into his eyes again, I see a man who is looking for sympathy. I have always been a person with a forgiving heart, which is a trait that I thankfully got from my mother. Sometimes I do believe that it actually will be the biggest downfall I will continue to face throughout my life. I take one more look at the lady inside who is now referred to as Debbie. I close my eyes one more time take a deep breath.
‘Ok Charlie I will not tell mum just as long as you promise to never see Debbie or any other woman again, as well as you promise to work on the relationship’ I say.
I’ve never truly had a proper relationship so I would entirely know what sacrifices have to be made and what you have to do for someone else. The only relationship I can remember was in primary school. That lasted all of a couple of hours, I guess dated at the age of 10 isn’t really a proper relationship.
‘I promise, thank you Tyler I will show you that I can be a good man once again’ He says as he smiles at me ‘This is the first and the last time this has ever happened I promise’
I fake a smile back at him. He says that this was the first and last time, from the look in his eyes I believe him. I turn my back and begin to walk down the side of the office to my car. I wipe the tears from my eyes and continue to tell myself that everything will be fine and that I can keep this from everyone for the better. I remember that I forgot the package and race back inside to grab it for Miranda.
The drive home is very different I feel upset but happy at the same time. Upset because of what I just had gone through. Happy because everything will work out for my family now. I smile, this time a real smile. I smile because tonight I am going to be with my friends and forget all the bad things.
I arrive home, get out of my car and stare up at the sky. It has suddenly gone from looking like lunchtime to looking like six in the evening the sun is setting and the colours in the sky are beautiful. Orange, pink and bright yellow. It’s times like this that I admire all the true beauty in the world, well what’s left of it anyways. My moment of clarity is quickly cut short when I hear loud music coming from a car driving twice as fast as the speed limit in a residential area.
It is my sister Riya. She turns her car off and hops out of the car. She has just come from the gym so she looks hardcore like she’s ready to smash someone. Her long black hair is tied in a topknot as per usual and her dark eyes always look like they are ready for an argument or a fight even.
‘What’s up?’ she says as she punches my arm softly.
‘Not a lot, just the usual work silly customers and annoying co-workers’ I stutter trying to keep a straight face. She notices that I stuttered and looks me dead set in the eyes. I keep telling myself in my head to keep a brave face and remember to keep what just happened a secret, at least for now.
‘Oh I see, are you all right you look like you’ve been crying you big sook!’ she chuckles.
‘I’m fine just extremely tired’ I lie.
‘Fair enough, I guess I better go inside and get ready to go out tonight’
‘I think I need to have a nap’
We both walk inside; say hello to Miranda and head to our rooms.
I drop face first into my bed and I can honestly say I am in bliss. My bed is so comfy I honesty ask myself daily how I could ever leave it.
Not even five minutes later I close my eyes and drift off to sleep.
I am woken up by the sound of screaming boys jumping up and down on my bed. I am still dazed, as raging idiots have abruptly waked me up. I look to see Dean and Saxon jumping down on my bed.
‘Get up get up get up!!’ Saxon yells.
‘Come on Tyler it’s my birthday! Lets party!’ Dean chants.
Looking at my watch I see that it’s now seven I should really get up. I am currently blocking out Saxon and Dean so I can focus on actually getting on my feet and ready for tonight. I sit up in my bed.
‘Happy birthday Dean’ I mumbled yawning as I continue to wake up.
‘Thanks heaps man, we will just have to party hard tonight and make sure that everything goes well’ Dean excitably replies.
‘Gosh you guys, stop being all soppy just get a room’ Saxon Jokes.
I punch him in the arm. Saxon is one of my best friends although he sometimes looks like the biggest douche he is great when things are tough. His body size is similar to mine, fit. He has sandy blonde hair and light blue eyes. His charm always seems to win girls over and there isn’t a party we go to as where he doesn’t seem to catch as least one girls attention. I rub my eyes one last time and then stand up. I stare at myself in the mirror of my room. I look exhausted, and like crap. Dean shoves me out of the way to check himself out one last time.
‘Make way for the sexy people Tyler’ Dean giggles.
I laugh with him. Dean is trying to impress a girl tonight I can just tell. Although he is very reserved and doesn’t really give Saxon and I much details until about five minutes before anything happens for him. His black curly hair has a hint of gel in it; he looks like he is from grease or something except dressed a little bit more modern. He looks extra tanned today; I am convincing myself that he went to the tanner earlier today. All for a girl I remind myself. I once again have a laugh to myself.
‘Alright guys just chill here for ten I promise I will be quick’ I elaborate.
Both Saxon and Dean look at me unimpressed. They both know I take a lot longer than ten minutes to get ready. They both nod at me and then I race out my bedroom door.
The bathroom door is closed. I try the handle. It’s locked.
‘Riya, I really need the bathroom I am going to be late I will be quick!’ I shout.
‘I am taking my sweet time go use mum and dads bathroom downstairs idiot’ she teases.
‘Whatever dude’ I reply.
Riya and I have this brother sister communication where we are constantly mean to each other because its fun. Although most of the time she seems to always have a one up on me. I walk downstairs and see Miranda in the kitchen probably cooking dinner for Charlie and herself. I avoid going in there as I just feel that I can’t face her yet and keep this secret. I make my way into the bathroom shut the door and let the water run. I feel at peace even if it is only for five or ten minutes. I continue to think about what I had seen at Charlie’s office earlier that night and the flashes of him kissing that Debbie lady run through my head. I start to shed a tear. The great thing about being in the shower is no one can see you cry. The water hides all evidence of tears streaming from my face.
I finish up in the shower and get dressed and leave my parents bathroom. I begin to walk down the hallway towards the staircase heading upwards. Every time I walk through the lower hallway in our house I admire all the pictures and painting on the wall. Those who I have loved and lost hang on the wall and it always brings back memories when I walk through here. I see a painting of a clown we have had since I can remember. It looks shy and secretive as if there is something that this clown is hiding. I always ponder the though of being a painting on the wall and hearing and seeing all the little things that people do. We all have secrets. Seeing a secret Charlie has kept from all of us today was proof that no one is completely honest. I reach the end of the hall and start to walk up the stairs. I hear the front door open and I see him there. Charlie. Father. The liar. Coming through the doorway. He walks in closes the door and smiles at me. I fake a smile back at him.
‘How was your day at work son?’ He asks.
‘It was fine, just peachy’ I reply.
Miranda comes down the hall and greets Charlie with a kiss on the cheek. They both smile at each other. Charlie looks up at me and I look at him. I feel the tension in the room building, like a volcano is about to explode.
‘I am so glad to see you honey; I have made your favourite tonight. Lasagna’ Miranda chirps to Charlie. She has massive smile on her face.
‘Yum’ Charlie replies ‘I am starving haven’t eaten all day’. Miranda walks back into the kitchen after smiling at both of us before she leaves the room.
I stare him dead in the eyes and he stares dead into my eyes. I start to grip my hand along the staircase side rail. I can feel the hairs on the back of my neck stick up. This is going to be hard. I want to shout all the nasty things at him but I can’t. For the sake of my mother and Riya. I just fake another smile at Charlie. He smiles back and nods at me.
‘You better not let your food get cold Charlie, you have kept Miranda waiting long enough today’ I snap.
‘I know this is going to be hard’ Charlie whispers ‘But I promise you I will change and fix everything, just give me time’
I nod and continue up the stairs, my head throbbing from just seeing his face. I am not ready to deal with seeing him again. I am not ready to keep this secret. I don’t know how long I can keep it for. I stand in the middle of the staircase looking at the ceiling breathe in and out and continue to walk upstairs towards my bedroom. Both Saxon and Dean have officially taken over my bedroom now. I walk over the mirror in my room and stare at myself. I start to smile as I think about tonight, what might happen whom we meet and all the memories we will make. The bad thoughts of my idiotic father just seem to fade away.
‘Hurry up you always take so bloody long to get ready, your worse than a girl’ Saxon snaps. Dean laughs at Saxon’s little dig.
‘You never know I could meet the love of my life tonight’ I laugh.
‘Sorry I am getting ready as fast as I can I would have liked a little bit of a longer nap’.
Dean is now completely tuned out as he is on my computer playing some stupid game. Saxon smirks at me then admires all the posters on the wall of my bedroom. I have heaps of different bands and artists covering almost every inch of my wall. I have always been a music geek ever since I can remember. I was that nerdy that in primary school I actually was in the choir, although I never could really sing I thought it was a great excuse to get out of forty minutes of class every Friday afternoon.
We leave my bedroom and walk down the stairs. Saxon, Dean and I all yell out goodbye to everyone in the house and then continue out the front door. We all are laughing and talking about meaningless things. As we are heading to the car. Saxon gets a call and picks up; he then walks a little bit faster in front of us so we can’t hear his phone conversation. He has always been a private doofus but we all still talk to him.
‘So how are things going on your end buddy?’ Dean asks.
The great thing about Dean is that no matter what we are doing or whatever problems he may be having. He always has time to listen to everyone else, or at least give out positive advice.
‘Not too bad, just drama with the folks, ya know just the usual’ I lie. ‘How about yourself?’
‘Pretty good just the usual stuff happening at home nothing ever changes for me either to be honest’ Dean replies. I noticed a hint of sadness in his voice. I just assumed it was nothing so just shrugged it off. We continue down my driveway to my car. I decided I would just drive and leave my car at the train station because I really wanted to celebrate for Dean’s birthday.
We hop off the train in the city. We decided we would go to Dean’s favourite club Notion. It’s just like any other nightclub except they play a lot of new dance stuff. Which makes everyone in the club go off. We start to walk towards Notion and there are people out in full swing around the city today. Girls wearing next to nothing, guys wearing collard shirts. It’s funny no matter which club I go too, Men are always told they can’t enter if they don’t have a collard shirt they get rejected for entry, but a girl can rock up in whatever they want and get in as well as get to jump the que. I will forever be confused by the way the clubs work. We continue walking down the street and I look up at the sky and close my eyes. I can feel Saxon and Dean giving me weird looks but honestly I couldn’t care. Sometimes I think it’s nice to think and feel what is going on around me with my eyes closed. It’s a beautiful summer night but with an extremely nice breeze, so I am not going to sweat my clothes off tonight.
‘Having another moment are we weirdo?’ Saxon teases.
‘Yeah probably about your mum’ Dean giggles back.
‘Sorry just have a little bit going on at the moment, but all is good’ I explain.