#5921
" You know Ahana, I never had a brother or a sister. Neither did you. So, I always wanted our kids to have someone beside us. " It was one of those days when Mumma and Papa were just sitting by themselves in the living and I happened to eavesdrop. I don't do that often but yes, I do it quite sometimes.
" Well, I did that too. I don't think anyone can understand a parent's pain but I wouldn't believe it for a second that anyone could even imagine what is it to miss a sibling. Ayan and Aavya are too strong." She replied.
" I wish he hadn't had left. This all could've been avoided." Papa remarked and all Mumma did was gathered him in a hug.
Aman and Ayan were quite close. But, after Aman went AWOL it was just the two of us and I had never been so grateful to have Ayan by my side. Most of the time he was indeed a pain in the ass but he is the best brother anyone could ask for and I love him so much. Of course, I love Aman too but where the hell is he? Doesn't he miss us? That jackass.
~ Aavya, on a boring Thursday, when she was missing Aman.
❋❋❋
It was to be just like any other night for Ansh, he had not anticipated that his daughter's heartbreak would result in giving him just the push over the edge he needed to rain on Ahana. And oh! boy, how he rained! It was a cataclysm.
God he knew he was saying things he didn't mean, things that did not define Ahana but he could not uncontrol his emotions.
He was anguished, furious and Ahana just seemed to be standing there and besides, she did deserve it if not all his wrath but a modicum of it. He had reached that cusp and there was no going back but when he saw her taking swift strides in his direction he had neither foreseen her next move as well. She knows to surprise.
His soul knew he might just regret all of what he has spoken and he will most definitely hate himself because amidst all his obscure angry vision he had seen Ahana's tears and he hated himself when he made her cry, more than anything in the world.
And then as her proximity increased and in a move, she closed the gap between them he knew it was a battle he had lost. He was lost.
Then she kissed him, not letting him go. For once the sides were turned as he tried to brisk away but not too hard for he could not hurt her in any imaginable way, and heaven only knows how much he missed her. He needed her. But, his arrogance was riding him away from her.
Gosh! Her lips were doing wonders and then he gave in completely letting his awestruck eyes close while he gathered his wife in an embrace, leaving no space in between, not even air could squeeze in.
He missed her scent, her soft touch, the way she felt perfect with him, and how small her back felt when he held her so tight. He missed everything about her and even more. As a soft moan escaped her throat he thought he'd just die and how the hell he was even living without her these past few weeks.
In no time he was overpowering her urge and deepening the kiss, it was strong yet filled with desire and a bit of vexation. Before they knew they were in their room and Ahana was breathing heavily, panting with tears flowing as she let his face go and looked into his wanderlust eyes. His were wet too and their eyes met only to say so many unsaid things.
She grazed her lips against his and whispered, " Ansh... I-I never meant for you to feel that way. I would never..."
" But, it did Ahana. It did..." He cut her in his softest voice. She was still holding him in her arms and they were mere inches away.
" All that thing you said about a parent's pain. They were just a bunch of bullshit. You didn't feel crap, did you?" The flashbacks came back strong to Ansh.
" W-what... NO, it wasn't bullshit. I missed him as much as you did. We were not in touch, Ansh. We hardly ever spoke." She added hastily.
" I don't believe you. And it doesn't make me feel any better if you think it would. " It was a blatant but truthful reply. She couldn't deny it. Who would believe her anyway?
" Why? Why would you do that and then be so furtive about it? Did I not love you enough that you didn't even consider the possibility to talk? Have I not given you enough security that your reservations about me regarding my own kids win over?
Do you not trust me? Did you even ever?" There were so many questions and so much yearning. All these questions were like a dagger straight to Ahans's heart. Her kiss did have a soothing effect as he seemed to have taken reason's side.
" Ansh... Of course, I love you, I trust you... There is no one in the world I trust more. You know that... "
" Then you have a rather queer way of showing that." He sulked and she let him go, increasing the distance again. Instantly, Ansh missed her touch and he felt crazy that even after all these years she made him feel that way.
Now they were confined in their room and it was a decent place to have a conversation. It was time for answers.
" For once, let's travel back in that moment when Aman was beseeching you for letting him pursue his love for being a chef." She told and he winced.
" Do you remember how obstinate you were? You didn't even want to consider a mere proposition. All you wanted for him was to put his hobby and passion aside to do what you wanted him to do...just how you did. " She said softly but with some authority. He heard the last four words his eyes bore the pain and Ahana knew he understood it all. She knew how much he loved his passion. Yet, it was all that for him - a hobby.
" Because that is what he was supposed to do, Ahana... I did that, you did that... " He replied adamantly.
" But, Aman is not you and me, Ansh. We can't in no way force our aspirations on him. "
" I didn't do that... He could have done both." He cocked his head sideways.
" Really? Do you wish for me to believe that you would have let him pursue two things simultaneously when clearly he wanted to do just one damn thing, Ansh... "
" Ahana... Do you think I wouldn't want his happiness? "
" Well, we wouldn't know where that would have got him, right? " She shrugged.
" Of course, because you took the matter in your own hand without even attempting to talk with me. You decided what was best for him. "
" Yea. I had to Ansh. I had to. And I don't regret it seeing where that has actually got him. "
Ansh took a step back. He didn't like how she spoke. She noticed and there was no way it made her feel better. It was the worst.
" But is he happy? " He asked.
" No one is ever happy forever but at least he did what he wanted and he won't regret it for the rest of his life. I'd never want him to have regrets as I did... " Ansh grimaced in absolute sheer pain.
" Regrets? As far as I comprehend, there would only be one thing you can ever regret - marrying me... " His eyes expressed a thousand words and she matched his gaze.
" Ansh... No... I didn't mean that. There is no way I regret marrying you. Hell! How can you..." She tried to hold his hand but he moved away.
" Burden of regrets, and guilt is far too heavy, right? That's all I've given you. Regrets to repent, immense pain, the guilt of a lifetime. Wow! After the century's worst father award, the most terrible no slash that, the monstrous husband award is just for me. As I have technically forced you into this alliance and then you had no other option than to love me. " It happened all so fast, his thoughts were out now and now that lone tear fell. For a few seconds Ahana couldn't speak as she couldn't believe Ansh felt such.
" N-No. No, Ansh. None of that is true. You know that. I can't imagine you're saying this. It's hurting me so much, Ansh..." Her tears which took a break were falling again and she noticed Ansh's eyes were wet as well.
" It's a shame that you feel this way, that our love was forced... Also, because it's not true. " She turned to quickly wipe her incessant flow of tears. She knew he was just saying things to hurt her but she had not seen this coming. It was killing her.
" It sure as hell feels that way. Or else you would have come... For once you would have had faith in me and trusted me to understand. "
She quickly swirled to face him, her eyes were so red and swollen just like her quivering lips.
" You think I didn't try. You were so in your head to even converse about that topic... "
" Then why didn't you force me? You always do that. You could have done a million other things... "
" That is so easy for you to say right now but I had a boy who wanted my support, our support, Ansh. And you weren't there. I couldn't allow you to ruin his chances, Ansh. I know how good you can be at convincing and he might have even stayed but then that would not have been his decision. It would have been yours, like always... " She said it and it will hurt him but it was done now. He had to know.
" So you're saying, all that has happened between us was my doing, forcing you... no trapping you in this marriage, coercing you to love me, and manipulating your thoughts so that you would not leave me. Is that what you're insinuating? If it weren't for my gimmicks you would have left me, correct? " He was trying hard to keep his calm but it was too much now.
" That is not what I said... "
" But you meant it. You thought your son, I don't have any right on him... You thought your son would be trapped here like you, failing to chase his dreams... "
" Ansh..."
" No, Ahana... You tell me. Is that how you felt? Did you feel stifling? Suffocated that you might die? "
" ANSH!! " It was less of a shout but a desperate plea to stop. He scoffed.
" Yes, you did... "
" N-No... Please... I didn't want Aman to sacrifice his dreams for us. "
" Yes. Noted. " He said with a stern look on his face.
" But, you also did prove that I am the worst father any kid would ever get for I can't bear their happiness and I would ruin their lives so they must run away from me... Actually, escape from my tyranny.. "
" It's too much exaggeration. I was going to tell you soon... "
" But, honey you didn't. You imagined I'd call him back or do other myriad things so you withheld all the information you would get on him keeping us in oblivion. Not only me but even his siblings, Ahana. So, convenient. I would like to know how you did it. Like, how could you? You should write a book about this." His temper was surprisingly changing to sardonic mockery as he shook his head.
He felt laughing at himself.
" Ansh you've to understand and forgive me... "
" Oh! I do understand. I understand it all. Or, perhaps I don't. It shouldn't matter, no? You don't need my forgiveness Ahana, why would you when you haven't done anything wrong, you're the righteous one. I shouldn't even be in your vicinity, it would tarnish your aura. I should leave..." And he did what he always did best.
Leave.
It was a miracle he stayed put so long.
" Ansh! Ansh... " He didn't flinch or turn and walked straight out of the house. If anyone thought just talking could make things better, well, it had gotten worst. This conversation was a catastrophe, the worst of its kind.
✿✿✿
Rose needed an escape and there was only one thing she'd find her solace in, the dance studio. It might wash her with nostalgia and memories she was so desperately trying to get over but it would do her good.
Her soul needed it.
She was having a good time with Laksh but in her heart, she knows she might never be able to look at him as anything more than a friend. He is sensitive and is always trying so hard and she feels the guilt take over her soul.
Every time he takes a step towards her she packs her bag and runs, hurting him but he should take the due credit for covering up his somber expression.
Rose wanted to like him, God knows she does but Aman...
Gosh!! He never leaves her fucking mind.
It's so frustrating and so agonizing.
So, she goes to one place where she is so damn sure he might never bump into her like he always does at their house, office, or any other place.
Yet, destiny is cruel when it comes to lovers.
She thought she was having a good time, honestly, she was. She was so much engrossed and lost in her routine and exhausted too that she thought she would just sag and drop down, alas a set of strong arms had got hold of her.
Her eyes were shut but she knew.
God! She knew the scent and she prayed it to be not him. She prayed for him to be bloody anybody but not him, the one person she didn't want to see.
Please, please... Please, not him.
With deep breaths, she opened her eyes and there she saw the most mesmerizing set of brown orbs she once loved to stare at.
She gasped involuntarily, despite the fact that she had guessed his presence. She let out small puffs and for what seemed like minutes, albeit was mere seconds they stared, looked, and gazed into each other's eyes until she was back from her temporary stupor.
" Good God! Aman..." She pushed him and stood up.
" Were you really praying for me to be someone else?" He asked and she winced taking a few steps back.
" Don't look stupefied as if you saw a ghost. I'm not a Jedi. Next time if you wanna pray try not to muffle the words out." He couldn't help not laughing and she scowled. He loved her face when she made that countenance, it gave him assurance that he was vexing her.
She kicked herself mentally for her stupidity.
" Why are you here? " She snapped, agitated.
" Same reason as you here. " Her eyes widen.
" Again, I thought you were catching up with your beauty sleep." He added.
" I changed my mind." She shrugged.
" I do believe if you wanna do what you came for why don't you look for some other free studio as clearly this one is occupied." She added.
" Oh! I see. But..." He drawled," I'd very much like to use this one, and don't you feel there is a lot of space for just one person? We might as well fit a 10..."
Arrghhh... She scrunched her face.
" No! You should go... " She knew she shouldn't be pushing him as merely a touch of any part of his skin might be fatal.
" Hey! Hey... Okay! Don't get all feisty. I'll leave if you don't want me around." Now, that was said in such the perfect tone to make her heart wobbly. She stopped.
" It's not that but..." She couldn't complete herself.
" Fine! What if I say let's have one dance and then I'll leave you to your own devices. " He proposed and she knew it was a bad idea. The worst actually.
Definitely a bad idea and her reluctance to answer made that clear as day.
" Rosie... C'mon, for old times sake. Promise, I'll leave you to be. I miss our routine so much. It's been years. " He meant what he said but for Rose, it was too much already.
" Check time I checked you didn't typically adore dancing..."
"The onus of my adoration solely depends on that person with whom I dance." He said, his eyes filled with glaze.
They had forgotten that the music player was still playing music in the background. As the track changed, Aman extended his arms to her and in a moment they were swaying in the perfect sync as if they had been practicing for years.
It was beautiful.
It felt beautiful.
He twirled, swirled, and held her with grace, he held her waist and manage to perform all the lifts in an immaculate and flawless manner, finally ending the stanza with a deep side bow. Time had not rusted them.
The lyrics faded and he didn't let her go, locking her in his arms with their faces mere inches away, shallow breaths transpiring through the medium as their eyes found each other. The brown and the grey orbs doing a different dance of their own.
Good Heaven! Aman wanted her. He wanted to just take a tiny swoop and taste her lips and he knew she wanted it as much as he did.
Her lips parted as she let out some air and shuffled indicating that the moment was over and it was time she should be set free. Well, he had promised so he gently placed her feet on the wooden flooring, his eyes not leaving hers for a second, it was tormenting in every possible way.
It took Aman every bit of his resistance but it burned him. She moved away and just then her cell rang.
It would have been a savior but was it?
Aman was closely watching her as she shifted and then went to pick up the call.
" Laksh, Hi..." Aman grimaced.
" Oh, yes. I'll be ready by then. Okay. Bye." It was mere seconds but enough to know that there was a plan.
" Some guy, huh?" He didn't even realize he had spoken until the words came from his mouth.
" Uh?" Rose looked at him, confused.
" Laksh... Seems to keep you happy. " He had no idea what he was saying but he said it anyway.
Rose was as befuddled as a bee in agony.
" Hmm... Yea. We've fun." She shrugged.
" Fun! Fun, huh? Fun is a funny word... Fun as in?" Now he was babbling, trying to keep her as long as he could.
" Aman... Please..."
" If I...." He started walking, closing the distance. He expected her to turn and leave but she stood still.
" If I say I don't like him, then? " It was more of a whisper.
She was breathing slowly yet consciously.
" Then I will say I don't care. I don't care what you feel, think, whatever..." She was holding her strong ground.
" Oh! Then you'd be lying as you do, Rosie... "
" I have to go." She fumbled while talking her bag.
" You didn't answer me. Do you have more fun with him than you did with me? " Her eyes shot at him.
She didn't know what precisely was he insinuating but he was up to to no good.
" Aman... Can you not be a jerk? "
" And can you answer me? Because I know how you feel... "
" Oh! You don't... You don't have the slightest clue what I feel." She snapped.
" I might kiss you right now and you will kiss me back, you know. Not that I intend to but you will." She was taken but and clearly furious at his patronizing self.
" Ha! You wouldn't dare... " She challenged.
" I could if I wanted to but... " She looked rather ravishing tonight and as much as he wanted her he had to restrain.
" No, Aman... All this is over. Even if you would, I wouldn't. We are way past that now. " She replied thinking that now is the best time to escape because if she doesn't she was not sure if she might be true to her words.
" I have to go..." She repeated after a few seconds when he didn't say but burned her with his stare.
" Yes. Then you must... " She did not trust him too. He was never so yielding but she couldn't take chances. She had to leave. He was giving her the opportunity and she was taking it no matter the heat transpiring between them. No matter how handsome he was looking with his few strands of hair falling down his forehead in a cream tee comfortably touching his chiseled body.
As she turned, her heart raced and so did Aman's. He did not want her to go. He knew she wished the same. It was not wise to do anything that is crossing his insane mind. He saw her taking steps away from him.
She will kiss me if I kiss her, he was confident.
Yes, she will. But, I mustn't. I shouldn't, his mind was warning him but his heart was swaying to a bizarre tune.
But, then she did something she should've have done, she looked back at him, " Bye, Aman..." That was it.
It was the last push he needed. It felt like a goodbye, which means forever and he couldn't take it.
" Rosie..." He called her.
" Yes..." It wasn't a question. It was a yearning of desire. Something we say because we wish to be stopped. Rose wanted Aman to not let her go, to trap her into making mistakes so that she could have excuses but she wasn't even sure what she wanted. But, she wanted him, and yes, what Aman said was nothing but a fact. She'd definitely kiss him back if only...
But before she could turn to look at him or even think he was already inches away and his dire, desperately lovely lips crashed on hers.
It was gonna be a catastrophe but it would be all worth it.
_______________________________________________
Hey! Guys.
Thanks for reading and I truly appreciate your patience, love and support. Makes me work harder.
P. S. Did my best to make this chapter last long. 🤭
Next One - Sooner!
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Luv... ♥
Vruksha.