It felt as though my mind and my body were on a completely different level. My mind was up in the air somewhere, my body tense and rigid. I wasn't supposed to be reacting this way; I wasn't supposed to act upon my emotions. The next ten minutes of my life, was soaked in the thickest silence of air. I tried not to breathe too heavy; I tried not to move too fast. I was scrutinizing every movement I made knowing that Jesse stood only meters from me. He had tasted my emotions, raw and unscripted; he had taken something that no other man had taken from me, my strength.
Once the horses were ready to go and the others had joined us, I felt myself relax a little, the distraction pleasing. Everyone except Jaxon knew of something racy going on between Jesse and I, so I avoided Jaxon as much as I avoided Jesse.
"This is going to cut our travel time in half" Talon spoke, running his hands over my claimed horse
"Good find Arrow" Jaxon agreed, his eyes burning into my face, his eyes wild as his smile widened. He was being a smart-ass. I wanted to punch him. I gave him my best warning glare, but I should have expected him to only smile more confidently.
I shook my head, and stood on the other side of Talon, opposite my horse. I kept my eyes on the horses face, feeling Talon stare at me. I knew what he was thinking, I could feel it in his arrogant stare
"Only one question" He began "There are five horses, and six of us"
"Which means one of us will have to double up" Jesse informed him
"I like this one" Talon replied, stroking the fur in front of him, in front of me
"You and your friend, Boston, you'll be doubling, take the brown mare" Jesse told him forcefully.
I refused to look at Jesse, but I could feel the intense discomfort lined between Talon and him. I had ignited something I shouldn't have. I'd created the intensity with the information I'd given Jesse.
Talon stood silent for a moment, his eyes wavering over me, debating whether or not to argue about it. Seconds later, he gave in, nodding "Fine"
I began to unravel the rope tying my horse to his stall, flinging it over his neck as the others readied their own horses. Ronan took the dark brown, three white socks, Jaxon had taken the third brown, four white socks, Boston and Talon on the paint, and Jesse the midnight black gelding.
I hooked my fingers into the stirrups, pulling them from their place beside the horse's belly. I concentrated on each step I took, remembering my Gran's words with each movement. It was all I wanted to focus on right now, my Gran, my job ahead.
Once my horse was geared up, ready, I pulled my backpack on, making sure my weapons were easily accessible if need be. Shaun was still out there somewhere, and by now, he'd probably know his men were not coming back. He'd be out for blood, enraged.
I blew out a breath of air, training myself to pay attention. I couldn't let Talon get inside my head, and now, I couldn't let Jesse inside my head, as difficult as that seemed to be.
I rolled my shoulders, feeling the heat of my back wound rub up against my bag. I forced back a hiss, rolling my neck out, the muscles pulling violently.
As I closed my eyes, waiting for the others to finish, a voice began from beside me
"You okay?" Instantly, I knew who it belonged to
I nodded "Mhm" Not trusting my voice
"You should take some pain killers for the pain" He guessed, nothing seeming to pass his vigilance. He'd noticed me in pain, even as I attempted to mask it. It made me wonder how closely he'd been watching me
I shook my head "Its fine"
He stood silent for a moment, which persuaded my eyes open. He was closer to me than I had expected, his eyes focused entirely on my face. I checked over my saddle, keeping my hands busy as well as my eyes. I wasn't ready to face him, not after the recent proximity we'd encountered
"About before-" He began, the long-awaited apology nearing
I shook my head "I shouldn't have" I told him, knowing that there would have to be some form of regret boiling inside him.
We were both under pressure, and I assumed that to be the reason for our sudden burst of desperate human-contact.
He shifted slightly, almost uncomfortable "I'm glad you did.."
"Jesse!" Jaxon called over him "Are we going or what?"
I kept my gaze down as he gave a gruff sigh, moving himself away from me.
-
The sun was nowhere in sight, grumbling grey clouds taunting us from above. It was never a good sign, and it always made me cringe.
Things were always more complicated when it came to lack of sunlight. Creatures would be out and about, awaiting their prey, awaiting us to cross their path.
I had relaxed into a steady rhythm and pace with my horse, the horse I had silently named Blaze - the name of my Grandmother's horse.
We had been walking for about two hours now, and the further we moved towards the border, the darker the clouds above us became. Rain would soon follow, I could see it nearing, I could smell it nearing. Lightning flashed in the distance, lighting up the sky in an array of blue and purple like a dazzling fireworks display. I wanted to nudge my horse in the belly, chase the light, catch it like a toddler tried to catch a rainbow and place it in a jar.
It was dangerous, but beautiful.
I kept pace even, making sure that I was a fair space from both Jesse and Talon. I wasn't in the mood to talk, I wasn't in the mood for any form of human interaction.
As time went on, I had expected someone to initiate conversation with me.
Thankfully when that time came it was nor Jesse, or Talon and his friend Boston.
It was Jaxon.
"Hey you" He chirped, falling behind the others to where I rode at the back of the group, like usual
"Hey" I sighed
"So, what happened? Give me the juicy details"
I had expected him to ask sooner or later, and unfortunately for me, he'd chosen sooner rather than later, of course
I shrugged "It wasn't anything special"
I was lying.
"I hope you used protection" He smirked, watching me carefully as my breathing caught in my throat.
I tried not to choke on his words.
I shook my head, defensive "It wasn't like that"
"Not yet?" He pushed, unbothered by my lack of comfort
"That's not going to happen Jaxon"
"No?"
"No" I repeated forcefully, glaring at him
"Why not?" He shrugged, confused as his eyebrows crossed
"You can't be serious?" I scolded him "This is barely a useful conversation"
"Conversations don't have to be useful you bitter woman, now answer the question"
"I'm not answering that question" I told him, refusing as I looked ahead
"Oh c'mon Morgan, we are both adults here" He threw his head back, as though he was a frustrated girlfriend of mine not getting the information she so desperately fished for
My head snapped towards him "One, what makes you think you can call me that? Two, I'm not going to answer something as ridiculous as that, end of conversation"
His mouth lifted into a crooked smile, proud that he'd struck a nerve with me
"One, I know it annoys you, two, you won't answer the question because you know that sooner or later, it's going to happen"
"Do you know from personal experience do you?" I snapped back, insinuating something as equally twisted
"Not personally no" He rolled his eyes, unbothered by my words "But from what I've heard from all of the other women he's been with..."
My eyes turned to him "All the other women?"
Suddenly, I realised I'd spoken without thinking, I was acting like a jealous girl with a crush, I'd fallen into his trap
He clicked his tongue "Not interested you say?"
I rolled my eyes and shook my head, giving my horse a nudge, urging him away from Jaxon and his horse.
I was done with his games. Not only because what he was suggesting was crazy, but because what he had pulled from me, was crazier. I couldn't think of Jesse that way, or so I liked to enforce upon myself.
I settled into the middle of the group, walking alongside Ronan as he continuously gave me side-glances, waiting for the perfect opportunity to begin a conversation with me.
He must have read the expression on my face, because for the next two hours, he kept quiet, not daring to open his mouth.
We had reached a town in the middle of nowhere, a main town, population once over seven thousand and twenty, now empty.
Houses lined the roads, each building leaving behind a story, just like every other town. I'd lost count of how many times I forced myself not to stare at a certain house or car painted in blood for more than a few seconds. I couldn't, it only made things harder to comprehend.
The sound of hooves was the only thing I chose to listen to. The noise filled the area, echoing amongst wide empty streets that had once been bustling with life. I had lost focus, uninterested in anything else around me. I couldn't concentrate on what was around me, not while my mind seemed to be working hard on keeping so much else out. I gave a sigh, keeping my eyes on Blaze's neck, his mane clean and tame, thanks to my handy work last night. I gave him a small pat, thankful for his hard work.
And then, gunshots rang out.
Blaze and the other horses shot upward, rearing out of control, bullets flying past our ears and flesh. I tried to regain control of Blaze, pulling tightly at his reins, pushing my heels into his side, all the while holding on for dear life. I could see Talon and Boston had fallen already, on the ground with their hands over their heads, their horse fleeing in the other direction.
Jesse was having trouble controlling his own horse, as was Ronan and Jaxon. Seconds later, Ronan was on the ground, reaching for his gun, taking cover behind a rusted out Chevy truck. Soon he began taking shots.
Gunfire persisted, brushing past me as I barely dodged them, still attempting to control my horse. He was scared, just as surprised by the attack as we had been. I needed to find cover, but before I could, a bullet caught Blaze in the side, sending him tumbling sidewards.
I tried to jump, roll towards a house where I could find cover, but my foot caught inside the stirrup and I was soon being dragged along the asphalt by my left leg. My limbs and skin grinded against the road, ripping my flesh apart layer by layer. I wriggled my ankle about, pulling and pushing it from the leather wrapped around my foot, but it was useless.
Another shot collided with Blaze, this time ending his life. He collapsed to the ground with full weight bearing down on my leg, crushing it. I cried out in pain as my ankle twisted unnaturally.
I pulled on my knee, trying to yank it free, the skin slowly becoming numb and tingling. I looked upwards, noticing that Boston was now lying on the ground, motionless, his eyes open, un-blinking as blood seeped from his mouth. He was dead, blood pooling out from under his body. My head spun and I began to feel dizzy.
My vision was blurred as I searched for the others, panicking. I caught sight of Ronan and Jaxon behind the Chevy, aiming and firing their weapons, shouts ringing out. I blinked vigorously, propelling myself to stay awake, conscious.
Everything seemed to move in slow-motion. Jesse's horse was now also on the ground, dead. Where was Jesse? My eyes began to shadow over, blackness over-taking me as I fought against it. I was fading out, I was going to die, crushed.
I took one last glance towards Ronan and Jaxon, noticing Talon was with them, holding his arm, blood tracing down his fingers, my eyes drooped, momentarily shutting my brain down.
When I came back to reality, my mind entering the grim world around me, the gunfire had ended. The smell of gun powder hung in the air, my leg entirely numb.
My ears were ringing, my head aching. I blinked hard and forced my body upwards. I had no idea who was alive. Had we lost, had we won?
I dragged my upper body backward, pulling with all my might to release my leg. I grit my teeth, grunting as warm blood exited my lip, my elbows.
"Hold on, hold on!" Jaxon screamed towards me, the sound of his voice relieving me
"I can't get my leg out!" I called back as he entered my view with Ronan and Talon in tow, their guns still drawn
"Stay still" He directed, taking one more search around with his gun before shoving it back into his belt. Together, the three of them leaned downward, using all of their strength to lift the horse off of me. I pulled harder, feeling the pressure release, my leg slipping out
"What the hell happened?" I shot out, scraping myself up, using my entire right side to carry my left. I stumbled, but Ronan was there instantly to hold me steady
"Ambush" Jaxon answered, his eyes still searching
"Where is Jesse?" Talon also began to search
Silence
"Where is he Jaxon?" I asked, my eyes wide, worried I'd find his body slumped, soulless, dead
Again, Jaxon remained silent
I tried not to imagine what it would be like if Jesse had been fatally shot. I had grown to enjoy his company, despite the intimate tension continuously boiling between us. I wasn't sure I would cope with losing him while so many questions danced around him, around us
"There, there he is" Ronan sighed, spotting him with a pointing finger
My eyes followed, catching Jesse running towards us from behind a tall building.
My shoulders slumped, my eyes closing in relief. He was okay.
When I opened my eyes, Jesse had reached us, shoving his gun back into his belt. His eyes were sternly on me. His arms reached out for me instantly, unconcerned for anyone else, nearly pushing Ronan from my grip, replacing him
"How bad is it?" He asked me, his breath running over my face
"Its fine" I lied, relying on him to carry my weight, not helping my argument "It's just a little numb, but it'll be fine" I tried
Jaxon gave a small snort, holding back a laugh
My eyes shot up, glaring "What?"
"For such a strong, independent lass you always seem to cop the injuries" He snickered
Jesse gave him a glare, just as vicious as my own "We need to keep moving" He warned
"Who was it?" I asked, Jesse pulling me along while I hobbled
"Shaun's men?" Ronan questioned
"No" He answered "Just a bunch of rednecks out for weapons and supplies"
I was part grateful it wasn't Shaun's men, but it unnerved me. Now we didn't know who we were dealing with, or how many of them were about. We were entering this town blind, unaware that another ambush could pounce at any stage
I took one last look at Boston as we passed his motionless corpse. The small contents of my stomach tempted to rise, but I shoved them back down before they could emerge
"How's your arm?" Ronan asked Talon as he clutched on to his gunshot wound
"Fine, thanks for asking" He snapped, bothered that we weren't paying our all attention to him
"We'll find somewhere to rest up for the night, and then we will head off early before the sun rises tomorrow" Jesse informed, taking charge as he held on to me tightly
I tried not to rely on him, but it was hard. My leg was still numb, from my thigh down to my toes. My ankle wasn't twisted, it hadn't dislocated, but something was definitely wrong.
As we entered the town of Brogan, we kept our eyes watchful. Silence was heavy, uncertainty even heavier. We passed a few houses, followed by a convenience store and a bank. We neared the middle of town, and the closer we came to the closeness of streets and houses, the more nervous we became. We couldn't steer near the once-busier sites of town, so we merged off towards the edge of civilization. I was injured, so was Talon, this meant we were weak. If there was another ambush ahead, we would die, we wouldn't stand a chance.
Towards the edge of Brogan, was a vehicle repair workshop, a large empty garage of steel and metal. It looked secure, secluded, surrounded by a large wire fence with barb at the top. Jaxon took about three minutes to pick the padlock, opening the space for us before re-locking it shut. We were trapped inside, which was perfect.
Inside the garage, dust fell on each and every bench top, each car, each tool, everything was thick with old-air that had fallen ill.
It was beginning to fall dark outside, the large windows at the top of the workshop smeared with dirt and grime, only creating thicker darkness indoors. Every movement we made echoed on the concrete floor. Ronan dumped his bags, which created a large thud. I cringed at the sound, not only because it attracted life outside, but because my head was aching, remnants of a concussion present
"Jaxon, take a look at Talon's arm" Jesse demanded as soon as Jaxon began talking excitedly about a classic car sitting at the back of the shop. Jaxon's expression dropped, like a child's would after being denied a pet in a pet store
"You're the doctor here now, why can't you do it?" He snapped
"Just do it Jaxon" Jesse's voice rose a little, impatient
Jaxon's eyes narrowed, a smile beginning on his lips "Oh I see"
"Jaxon" Jesse snapped back, stern
He held his hands up in defeat, turning towards Talon, signalling him to follow him
I was now aware that Jesse was leading me up a dirty-blue carpet staircase. His arm draped around my waist, pulling me up each step. My own arm was around his lean waist, each movement of his body felt through my skin, toned and firm. We were going to be alone again. Bad things happened when we were alone, and suddenly, my heart began to beat inconsistently.
My fingers curled around his shirt with each foot forward. I was having trouble walking. I was having trouble understanding why my entire left leg could not be felt. I was somewhat terrified that I may not get the feeling in my leg back. What if I moved up my spine? Would I be able to walk at all?
Once we reached the final stair, I realised just how exhausted I was. The injury on my back had re-opened, blood stuck to my hair, dry and knotted. My lip was coated in blood, a split down the side. My elbows were grazed deep, stinging with each bend. My head spun, dizzy as stars danced in my vision.
I had never been so injured in my life, and what Jaxon had said, began to play over in my head.
Since being with Coby, with this 'group', he was right. I had endured all of the injuries, either I was simply out of good-luck, or I wasn't as strong as I liked to think I was.
It was discouraging.
Jesse led me through a narrow hall where the wide windows poured in the last of sunlight from outside. It was darker inside than it was outside, as though the windows were tinted. I narrowed my eyes, wincing at the pain it caused inside my skull, my cheekbones throbbing.
Through an open wooden door, was an office where once the head-honcho sat overseeing his small successful business. Paperwork scattered all over the desk, the floor surprisingly clean. He was seemingly neat for a mechanic. On a far wall, was a bookcase, no books in sight, instead, vintage boxed classic toy cars sat untouched and undisturbed, probably once worth a fortune. Next I spotted the couch, the dust coated red couch beside a trophy case, with many tall achievements in glass pride.
"Here" Jesse began, his voice low "Lean here for a minute" He instructed, gently easing his grip for me to rest against the wall.
He moved towards the couch, his hands running over it to remove the dust. It sprayed upwards, lifting into the air as though a vampire had been staked and burst into ash. He found a small window nearby and forced it open with his right shoulder, releasing the dust fragments into the outside air.
"There" He mumbled to himself as I attempted to move myself, pushing my body off of the wall, struggling. Before I could attempt it on my own, Jesse had returned to my side, aiding me until I sat on the soft foam of lounge.