I wrote this while my annoying, little sis was distracting me!!
Jokes, she's my biggest support and reads all my stories like they are sweet cookies. And she really, really likes cookies!
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He sighed as he turned a little closer to that heat wrapped around him. It felt both soft and hard at once but he'd never felt more content and relaxed, snuggling his head into that amazing pillow.
Something incredibly soft landed on his cheeks, stroking over it and almost lulling him back into deep sleep. But a flicker of confusion shot through him. Since when did his blanket move? And how could it be so warm when it was usually cold in his little attic-flat?
Slowly his eyes flutter open. His attic was drenched in soft light, shining in from that little high-up window and he couldn't remember the last time he'd woken without hearing the shrill alarm of his nightstand clock. He must have forgotten to set it. But why...
He found the why staring back at him and his lips parted while sucking in a startled breath. Jungkook was looking at him.
Jungkook was here.
Jungkook's body was the warmth he had felt.
The boy had gotten one arm under his head and Jimin must have used it as a pillow, resting his head on the place where his arm met his shoulders. His other arm lay on his waist, keeping him close. As if he had to! Jimin lay on his side, turned towards him with one leg draped over Jungkook's thighs and his entire upper body laying half on top of the younger.
The memories of last nigh came flooding back.
Dinner with the boys, laughing, Min-Woo getting along with them brilliantly, driving home in laughter and smiles. Then Jungkook in his room, drunk and sad and crying. Jimin hugging him closely while the other confessed about the two years he'd spent watching him. And Jimin making a decision to try and open his heart for someone new. Trying to trust and talk about his past.
"Morning," Jungkook breathed, his head lying on a real pillow, his hair wonderfully messy and falling all around him while he smiled at Jimin. And Jimin had never been caught by his beauty more. It was ethereal. The hazy eyes from sleep, the sweet, happy smile, the toussled hair and the light falling on him in soft ripples.
"Morning," Jimin found himself whisper back, his voice still rough from sleep.
The hand on his waist lifted and a dreamy, lost expression glazed over Jungkook's features as he reached out and caressed his cheek and his jawline, Jimin recognizing the same touch that had woken him so lovingly. He tugged back the stands of white hair from his forehead, his lips parting as if he was surprised.
"God, you're so beautiful," he whispered in wonder and the sound filled his heart, threatening to burst it, his eyes probably huge and wide as he stared back at Jungkook.
Jungkook closed his eyes for a long second, let out a heavy breath and when he opened them again, a sadness had replaced the serenity. He pulled back his hand, dropping it helplessly at his side. His heart suddenly squeezed together.
"I... I'm sorry Jimin. I'm sorry I got drunk and came over."
Jimin only lay there, not sure how to answer that. How to deal with such a defeated, sad Jungkook, so he asked the first thing that shot into his mind.
"Do...d-do you remember last night?"
Jungkook closed his eyes again and nodded, then opened them but didn't look into his eyes again, like he couldn't bear it, staring down at his chest.
"I do. I wish I wouldn't though. That way I could still pretend you don't know how long I've been a coward. And a creep. I understand-" he swallowed hard. "I understand if you don't want to see me again. If you're freaked out... I get it."
Not see him again? If he remembered, how could he think that, when Jimin had clearly told him he didn't want him to leave. But then again, Jungkook had been half asleep by the time. But he'd been hugging him, held him and comforted him, then fallen asleep next to him. How could Jungkook still think he wanted him to go? He was so confused, he didn't realize he hadn't said anything for a long time.
Jungkook sat up so quickly, his head previously resting on his arm fell to the mattress and his body shivered as his heat left him.
Jimin was so startled for a moment, he kept lying there like an opossum pretending to be dead.
"What are you doing?" He finally managed to say after he found his voice again. Jungkook had already risen from the bed, standing to get his shoes on.
"I'm leaving. I shouldn't have come here in the first place. I'm sorry.. that you felt like you couldn't send me away last night because I was drunk. It wont happen again, I promise."
"Don't go."
Jungkook froze while tying his shoes.
Slowly, he rose and turned, eyes huge.
"What?"
Jimin scrambled up to a sitting position on his knees, the blanket a mess around him as he stared a Jungkook, swallowed hard and repeated: "Don't go."
Jungkook stared a moment longer. And then he laughed, but it wasn't a humored one. It sounded almost hysterical and absolutely helpless, shaking his head with tightly pressed eyes.
"Jesus, Jimin!" He groaned, running a hand through his hair, a frustrated, almost angry grimace flashing over his face. Finally he looked back at Jimin and he flinched at the expression, intense and blazing.
"Can you please stop doing this to me? I'm not made out of stone and I'm not as strong as I sometimes pretend! I thought you'd get that after last night. But this is just mean!"
His mouth had dropped open, watching the younger loose it, his voice rising with every word, fists forming at his side as he towered over him in front of the bed.
"What do you want Jimin? What do you want me to do? One day you tell me to leave, then you tell me to stay! You want me, ready to sleep with me but freaking out when I ask for more. Tell me what you want me to do Jimin and I will, but don't say one thing today and another tomorrow! I can't take this anymore! Do you know how hard it is for me to stop myself from falling all over you? How it nearly killed me to realize you weren't going to stop me the other day, and how it wrecked me so completely to also understand why you were so damn afraid? Understanding that there was absolutely nothing I could do! And just now, waking up to seeing you sleep next to me! How the hell do you expect me to deal with this?"
Jimin gaped, his hands helplessly at his side watching the younger's frustration and anger- so unexpected and surprising. He felt like shit realizing he was the reason for it, but his words- seeing how the hunger blazed up in his eyes, his want for Jimin leading his outburst made his mouth turn dry. The memory of how Jungkook had felt against him and how uncontrollable it had been to think of anything other than having him...
"And stop looking at me like that!" the younger suddenly snarled, taking a step forward and bumping his knees against the bedframe. Jimin flinched at his eruption, seeing the veins popping out on his neck and his arms, his jaw clenched together tightly.
"L-like w-what?"
"Like you want me to stop talking and fuck you so hard you're not going to be able to walk tomorrow."
His mind went blank and his skin felt too tight, the air suddenly thick and heavy.
"And seeing you sit on that bed with you're messy hair and a shirt that is way too big for you is really, really testing my goddamn willpower!"
He glanced down at himself. The shirt was indeed too big, dropping down at one side to reveal his shoulder. He'd bought it because it was cheap and he'd loved the soft, turquois color even though it was several sizes too big.
"Oh..." Jimin let out on a short breath and saw Jungkook's hand twitch. And then, in nothing but a growling, deep voice he warned: "You better send me away right now, Jimin, or I'm not promising anything."
Jimin shuddered but kept on staring, unable not to as he asked: "I-I thought you wanted more than that?"
"I do," came his reply but his expression didn't change, his eyes dropping down his face, resting on his lips and his eyes blazed brightly before they came to another pause at his shoulder and Jimin saw his throat work as he swallowed thickly.
"But," he ground out and lifted his eyes back to his and Jimin saw the decision he made there. Like he had no idea how to stop this and was about to give up trying.
"If you're body is all I can have for now, I'll take all that you can give me. I'm already beyond saving anyway."
Jimin's eyes flew wide, his body trembling because... Oh God, he really wanted that. He had wanted Jungkook from the moment he'd raised himself to his full height as he saved him that day.
He should tell him about the decision he made yesterday. Should tell him that he would try and open his heart- for him but also for himself, but the words were stuck in his throat, Jungkook's eyes seizing him up like he was a starving men and Jimin the last piece of chocolate cake.
"So tell me to leave. Now. Or deal with the consequences!"
Consequences. Yes... this would have consequences, but Jimin couldn't care less about them. Couldn't even remember what they might be, not when Jungkook was looking at him like that. Not when he was already going crazy, his body a heated mess on the bed.
Jungkook seemed to be holding his breath as he waited for Jimin to say something. To tell him to leave, his body tense as a bowstring.
He knew he should, especially because he wasn't sure if he could do what he had promised himself last night. And it was selfish. So unbelievably selfish to say those next words, knowing how it would ruin Jungkook if he ended up not being able to love someone again.
He said them anyway.
"Don't go."
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(*EVIL LAUGHING*)