smoke | namgi

By vickie_org

122K 5K 2.8K

tw: smoking, college pregnancy, depression, body image issues, financial problems yoongi is left pregnant as... More

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epilogue
thank you!

forty-six

1.2K 54 24
By vickie_org

tw: slut shaming, mentions of abortion, depression, mentions of self harm

minji stared at the wall that contained pictures of the students family. she became curious on why it was only her and yoongi.

the other students had mom's and dad's and some even had siblings! but why not her?

"mr. kim? why does everybody have different people in their picture? why is it just appa and i?" she quietly asked, "we all have different people in our lives. some people may have a lot of people but some people might just have a little bit of people around them. like some people have a boyfriend or girlfriend and kids" he explained, crouching down to make eye contact with the girl.

"will you be my appa's boyfriend? even jinnie has a boyfriend!" she said, a small gasp at the end. namjoon turned red, "let's talk about that later, okay? not now" he laughed, he wanted to be yoongi's lover, he couldn't lie.

"she seriously asked that?" hoseok laughed, namjoon nodded, "i like him but i don't know if he's ready" he sighed, "what do you mean?" he asked, "he's recovering from some mental things right now and i think he still thinks about his ex"

hoseok hummed, "you would do more good than harm by entering his life. i think he'd appreciate you being by his side" he said, taking a sip from his lemonade.

"maybe but i don't know? for gosh sake, i'm his daughters prek teacher" he said, hoseok chuckled, "but minji said she wants you to become his boyfriend! what are you waiting for?" hoseok scoffed, namjoon hadn't had a relationship since he was 15.

"i don't know!" he whined, throwing his head back, "next topic because you can't figure out your feelings" hoseok said, namjoon pouted, "i feel insulted"

"appa, why do other kids have a mom and dad, some people have siblings too" she said, yoongi hummed, last time minji asked this, he lasher out at her, this time he was going to calm down and speak formally this time.

"you have another dad. you don't have a mom because appa likes men, not women. your dad wasn't ready to be a dad, at least that's what i think. i think it's understandable, i was 19. he reacted very badly and left" he explained, he tried to make it as kid friendly as he could.

"will i ever see him?" minji asked, yoongi sighed, "probably not min, i honestly don't want you to. he wasn't very nice" yoongi said, if minji chose to find and meet donghyun in the future, he would allow her to.

"why wasn't he nice? what did he do?" she asked, "he wasn't nice to jinnie either. i can't tell you what he did, but maybe when you're older. okay? just know that appa is so happy to have you and nothing can change that" yoongi said, feeling emotional and tears brim in his eyes.

"ah i want to cry" yoongi chuckled, quickly blinking back his tears, "jinnie said not to cry over stupid people, that's what he told jungkookie" minji grinned, yoongi laughed and let tears run down his cheeks.

"i-i guess you're right" he chuckled, minji kissed her appa's forehead, "i love you appa"

yoongi

hi seokjin

seokjin

hi

hru

yoongi

im good

are u busy?

seokjin

yes i have an essay to write

it's due tomorrow but i honestly don't want to start bc idk how

yoongi

what is it abt?

seokjin

teen pregnancy

yoongi

oh hm

seokjin

do u mind if i ask u abt ur experience?

if not, it's fine

the essay is abt how teen pregnancy can affect emotional and psychological health and how it can affect relationships with others, etc.

yoongi

yes i can try to help ask away

seokjin

don't answer anything you don't want to, ok?

yoongi

ok

seokjin

tell me about your experience in general

yoongi

i can vividly remember the day and every emotion i felt when looking at the test that said, 'positive' in big bold letters.

it was november 26th when i found out, and oh my gosh. i literally felt my whole world crash down??? like i love her but at that moment i felt horrible.

i began thinking of everything and anything that could happen because i was carrying her. i wasn't ready.

and if i'm being honest, i did consider suicide.

having to hide it was the worst probably? having to hide how much weight i was gaining and my physical symptoms.

not to mention the dirty looks i got at parenting classes. i was 19 and people were calling me a slut, asking me why i couldn't keep my legs closed. i never really talked about it until now.

as for relationships, donghyun left and ur really the only one that stayed.

some of my family members were and still against me

and bc of sm stress, i have a nicotine addiction 👎

yeah that's all

sorry for over sharing 🤣

seokjin

oh my gosh yoongi???

im crying????

like actual tears???

ur so strong :(

yoongi

it's fine don't cry

also

because i was young and literally making too little money, i had no one to care for her some times, i brought her to class

that was probably when she was one or so, people always stared at me.

idk what they think now tho

and yes i did consider abortion and adoption

seokjin

i don't think i want to write this esssy anymore 🤣 i'll start sobbing

yoongi

please keep me anonymous

seokjin

i will

yoongi ur seriously so strong

IM COMPLAINING OVER MCDONALDS FORGETTING 1 CHICKEN NUGGET AND YOU?!!

YOU'VE GONE THROUGH SM

yoongi

BUT IT'S A CHICKEN NUGGET

it's fine seokjin

im fine now

seokjin

i haven't stopped crying

yoongi

there's nothing to cry abt

seokjin

WDYM?!!??!!

yoongi

just write ur essay

seokjin

rude.

but fine

lmk if you need anything

yoongi

kk

it was one of those days that yoongi needed to take minji to his class because nobody could take care of her. it hadn't happened in a year or so.

"minji, you have to come to school with me. jinnie is busy" yoongi explained, minji gasped, putting her hand over her mouth, "big kid school?"

yoongi nodded, "we need to leave quickly" he said, minji was as quick as ever. she was excited to see big kid school.

"this school is really different from mine" she softly said, yoongi was carrying her so she wouldn't run away and get lost, "yes because it's a big kid school" he chuckled, the little girl was amazed.

she had been here before but she couldn't really remember, "you have to be quiet, okay?" yoongi said before he entered his class, "okay" she giggled.

yoongi pulled up a chair next to him for the girl to sit on, he ripped out a piece of paper from his notebook and handed it to minji, he then handed her some crayons.

"is that your cousin? she's so cute" a girl said and smiled, "no, she's my daughter" yoongi chuckled, minji waved at the girl, "hi" she smiled, "she looks a lot like you" the girl said, yoongi nodded, "i know"

minji was too busy drawing, she was going to make the most colorful drawing on the whole planet!

"min, time to leave" yoongi said, minji nodded and made grabby hands, "ah you're getting too tall for appa. i won't be able to carry you one day" he chuckled, carrying the girl a bit above his hip.

namjoon

helloo

how r u??

yoongi

im good

just finished school rn

namjoon

that's nice!

yoongi

:]

btw, i really love your passion for teaching ╥﹏╥

namjoon

ty ty :]

what are you up to today?

yoongi

i went to library book store where i saw u

and i went to class

that's it

namjoon

i was wondering if you want to watch a movie with me??

yoongi

i have no one to take care of minji:(

but

i'll put her to sleep and u can come over

let's try not to get caught like last time

namjoon

💀💀

kk just lmk when i should come

do you want snacks?

yoongi

a lollipop

please

namjoon

ofc!

yoongi really was trying to quit. after talking to his therapist, he realized he had many reasons to quit and zero to smoke. it didn't mean the craving was gone.

the lollipops were helping but he abused them. he would suck on them until his tongue bled and all he could taste was blood.

he knew it was bad but he would deal with it until he could stop that and eat lollipops like a normal person.

right now, he was shaking and sweating from how much he was craving nicotine. he reminded himself he would be fine. he was doing this for the sake of himself.

he closed his eyes and pinched the skin between his eyebrows. this felt horrible, he felt like he was dying.

he was sweating head to toe, he felt cold. he felt sick.

"no yoongi" he said to himself, getting up to give himself a cold glass of water. the craving would pass, he reminded himself that.

he couldn't do it, he texted seokjin.

yoongi

seokjin

pls text ne back

plsple

pleases

seokjin

??

yoongi

im trying to quit smoking and the craving is killinf me

idk what to do?!!?!!m

i feel horrible

seokjin

YOU CAN DO THIS ‼️‼️

NO LUNG CANCER ‼️‼️

LIVING BETTER ‼️‼️

try spinning in circles until u are tired

exercise

take a shower

sleep

breathe

drink water

think about

how you're doing this for the best

how you'll live better physically and emotionally by quitting

yoongi

I DEFINITELY DON'T FEEL BETTER EMOTIONALLY OR PHYSICAL SEOKJIN

IM SHAKING AND SWEATING WHAT MAKES U THINK THAT

seokjin

IM THE NURSE HERE YOU SHH

yoongi

OK IM GOING TO EXERCISE

yoongi did jumping jacks while spinning. he kept his mind on what number jumping jack he was on instead of the craving.

soon enough, there was a knock on the door. he had put minji asleep and now namjoon was here.

"hi! did i interrupt your workout?" he chuckled, yoongi laughed and shook his head, "i was exercising to ignore my cigarette craving, i'm trying my best" he frowned, "you're doing great yoongi, here's your lollipop" namjoon said, it was a bigger lollipop than usual.

yoongi immediately unwrapped it, putting it in his mouth to taste that and only that, "what movie should we watch?" yoongi asked, "hm, a comedy?"

soon enough, the boys were cuddling on the couch. namjoon was caressing yoongi's hair, only pulling away to laugh with the boy.

perhaps they were laughing a little too hard because soon enough, minji caught them.

"see! you guys are boyfriends! just like jinnie and kookie! they hug like that too!" she huffed, upset that they were 'lying' to her.

"we're not boyfriends, minji-ah" yoongi said, a sigh leaving his mouth. both boys did like each other, wouldn't confess though.

"go back to sleep, you have school tomorrow" he sighed, carrying her to the couch and setting her next to him.

"honestly, you and mr. kim would be good boyfriends so why are you not dating" she asked, where had she learned this from? seokjin, but we won't talk about that.

"minji, shh" yoongi said, setting his head on namjoon's shoulder. namjoon was a blushing mess, "appa needs a boyfriend" minji said, yoongi was red. he was embarrassed.

"go to sleep min" he whined, minji huffed, "fine"

she walked away into the room, she was tired but the boys laughs had woken her up.

"sorry" yoongi nervously chuckled, namjoon smiled, "don't worry, i teach prek students. they say a lot he more things" he chuckled, pulling yoongi closer to him.

"you know yoongi, you're really cute" namjoon said, caressing yoongi's hair, the smaller boy blushed, "t-thanks"

namjoon loved yoongi's features, they were soft and delicate. oh how much he wanted those pink lips on his own.

yoongi got cozy next to namjoon, he was smaller than namjoon, really small.

he fell asleep. he really didn't mean to, but namjoon had such a comfortable aura around him.

namjoon smiled, carrying him in bridal position to bed. he carefully set him next to minji, turning off the light.

he wanted something more with him.

idk what this is. pls give me ideas, im out of ideas and thought about making namjoon a psychopath 😭 yes pls take. ilysm! qotd: how has yoongi changed? sorry for mistakes

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