A few weeks went by and Jc and I were back to normal. And by normal I mean me longing relentlessly for him and hiding it poorly. I couldn’t get the almost-kiss out of my mind. I kept thinking of all the possible ways it could have gone in an alternate universe and then I’d hate myself for thinking about it so much.
It was later in the day and I sat in my bedroom, scrolling through twitter mindlessly, when the door creaked open. Jc peaked his head in and I looked up from my phone, “Oh hey.” He walked in and plopped down beside me, glancing over my shoulder at my phone. I averted it from his gaze, though it was nothing to hide.
“Looking at booty pics or something?” He said cheekily and I rolled my eyes. He scooted in a bit closer until our shoulders were touching. We sat like that for a while as we both read the tweets on my feed in our heads, until Jc looked up at me, “Want to go get something to eat?”
I shrugged, “yeah sure, where?”
“It’ll be a surprise!” He said, throwing a pillow at me. I looked at him, confused and intrigued, as he ran out of my room, glancing back to make sure I was following. I laughed. He had me hooked.
I followed him to his car and we drove under a blanket of stars against a darkened sky. The music from the radio was soft and the murmur of city life was muffled through my closed window. I watched as florescent signs passed in blurs and I looked over at Jc, “Where are we going??”
He looked over and raised an eyebrow, “I said it’s a surprise.”
“Okay yeah, but to you that could mean anything,” I retorted mockingly. “Like McDonalds.”
He gasped, “I have a bit more class than McDonalds!”
“Subway?”
He sat silent for a moment, “Alright… you got me there.”
We both let out uplifting laughs and I shook my head. “Is that were you really were taking me?”
“What?! You love Subway!” He said, a slight whine in his voice. I shrugged and we continued to drive. Jc pulled up into the parking lot of a Subway and turned off the car. “We’re here,” he sung, looking over at me. I gave him a smile and we got out, making our way inside the fast food restaurant.
After ordering, we sat down at a booth across from each other, and I wondered if to an unknowing bystander if this would have looked like a date. In the back of my mind I wondered if it actually was one.
“I knew you’d order that,” Jc said through a mouthful of sub as I bite into my own. I raised an eyebrow, chewing. “Yeah, I did,” he laughed with chubby cheeks. “You always get that. I’ve memorized it.”
“Yeah, well you look like a hamster,” I chuckled as he swallowed the food in his mouth with one giant gulp. “Don’t talk with your mouth open.”
Pulling out my phone, I must have accidentally opened the camera, because on the screen was my face from a not so flattering angle. “Ugh,” I sighed out, closing the camera quickly.
“What?” Jc looked up from his own phone.
“I’m so ugly,” I sighed, mentally imaging all of my acne and split ends and bush eyebrows. I looked at Jc and saw none of that. To me, he was beautiful.
“I think you’re cute,” he shrugged, going back to his phone. My heart skipped a beat and I bit back a smile. How he could say that so nonchalantly puzzled me, and I glanced up at him. He chewed his food silently, scrolling through his phone and occasionally taking sips of soda. Under the florescent white lights above, anyone would have looked slightly too pale or washed out. They would have reminded me of a patient in hospital under its own bright, burning lights. But he was effortlessly adorable and handsome.
“Thanks, you’re okay,” I joked and he looked up, jaw dropped, a fake look of hurt dancing across his face. He tossed some lettuce at me and I ducked, tossing some back in defense. This went on for a few moments, before the man behind the counter shot us a look, and we sheepishly but down the ammo in our hands.
After our suppressed laughter died down, Jc stared at me and I couldn’t help but stare back. He seemed to scan my face with his eyes, before they met my own and he seemed to notice I was looking at him. He quickly averted his gaze back to his phone, stealing a few glances every now and then.
Finally I let out a laugh and he looked up, confused. “Why do you keep looking at me?” I laughed.
“I could ask you the same thing!” He retorted defensively.
I shrugged, “’Cause you’re so beautiful, that’s why.” I tried to say it as slick as I could, too seem as if I was joking, but at the same time being serious. My compliment caught him by surprise and his face softened, and he looked away, his reflection staring back at him as he stared out at the California hills.
“You done?” He looked down at my side of the table, spying if I had any food left. I nodded, slipping my arms through my coat sleeves. “Let’s get out of here.”
“We going home?” I asked as I held the door for him. He shook his head. “Okay, were are we going then?” He bit his lip and raced off to the car. “Another surprise?!” I called out after him, feeling the butterflies in my chest awakening as I imagined Jc and me off on some adventure together. This had to be some kind of date. If not, then what else could it be?
We drove with the windows down and the music blaring. I liked driving alone with Jc. I felt close to him, for whatever reason. Just the two of us, driving under the stars together. The smell of the sea hit me and I looked out the window. “The beach?” I let out a sharp laugh. “The water must be freezing I’m not going in.”
“Wimp, “Jc coughed out.
“You go in then!” I snapped.
“I was joking,” He smiled over at me as he went to park. “I just came to watch the waves.”
“Oh,” I swallowed heavily, feeling my hands shake with anxiety and anticipation.
We got out and went down to the shore, were large rocks were piled on top of each other, creating the perfect ledge to sit upon and look out at the ocean. The night air was cold and the wind nipped at my cheeks. Jc began to climb the rocks, offering me a hand as he went. I took it and felt my stomach do a few flips and twists. We reached the top and sat at the edge, looking out at the water.
The moon shined brightly that night, reflecting its glow against the gentle waves, and against our own faces. I glanced over at Jc, who stared blankly out at the ocean. The moonlight illuminated his face differently than the fluorescent luminosity of the Subway lights. The glimmer was gentler, rounding his face, creating dark shadows in the places where the radiance could not touch. His eyes were softer as they looked into mine. I imagined this is what he’d look like if one were to awake beside him in the middle of the night, moonlight seeping in across his face through drawn curtains. I wondered if I looked just as beautiful.
The waves crashed against the rocks below us, their gentle song relaxing. Out of the blue, Jc’s arm was swung around my shoulder playfully, and he pulled me closer, “Isn’t this wonderful?” He looked at me.
“Yeah,” I answered, speechless from the awe-inspiring view. Though his question was answered, Jc kept his arm around me, and I scooted closer, so it could rest more gently against my shoulder. As we sat, I studied Jc. He had always been shorter than most, but I adored it. Sitting against the damp rocks, I noticed his head was perfectly matched up with the crook of my neck. It was like we fit together like puzzle pieces. I wanted to somehow nudge his head so he’d place it against my shoulder, but my hand stayed glued to my side. I never knew how to be flirty when it came to him, mostly because I never knew where he stood. One wrong move could ruin everything. I looked back out at the ocean.
“Look at the stars,” Jc said and I strained my neck up. Normally, the sky was mostly dark, with a few sparks of light scattered here and there. But without light pollution from the city, the sky as illuminated with distant stars, like white paint splattered against a black canvas. Jc leaned back until he was laying down. I did the same. “Look there’s the Big Dipper.” He pointed up in its general direction.
“Is that the only constellation you know?” I joked and he glanced up at me, brows furrowed in pretend anger. He punched my arm playfully and snuggled in closer, placing his hand on my stomach where my shirt had accidentally ridden up. His skin was cold against mine and the sudden contact made me shiver.
“Are you cold?” He asked, and I shook my head, unable to say the words on the tip of my tongue. We sat like this for what seemed like forever, and slowly my eyelids became heavy.
“Let’s not go home,” I said sleepily, too tired to get up. Jc didn’t reply. I glanced down through one open eye and saw him, his head placed against my chest. He was either asleep or pretending to be. Either way I didn’t mind. I wrapped my arm around his back and placed my head on top of his. I laid there as I felt his chest rise and fall in silent slumber. Maybe I don’t know Jc as well as I thought I did, I thought to myself as my fingers gently danced across his skin. Maybe I am in love, I wondered, though I silently laughed at the idea. What am I kidding, I don’t know the last thing about love. But lying there, with Jc pressed against me, I figured I had a pretty good idea. I closed my eyes, sighing contently, wondering off to sleep under a blanket of stars.