I didn't like that Draco and I were becoming gradually more comfortable around each other. It was just last week that he comforted me in wake of the news of my uncle's death, and before that, he confided in me about his fear of fatherhood. As these intimate heart to hearts continued to get out of my control, I couldn't help but feel like we were just teasing each other with how far we could go before one of us pulled away. So, naturally, to prevent any more of these friendly moments, I found myself engaging in arguments I otherwise would have avoided. And Draco, as usual, never backed down from an argument.
"I can't believe you don't use Wolfsbane in your practice," Draco said to me, his tone dripping with superiority. "It's extremely useful in tranquilizing werewolves."
"I refuse to use it because it's inhumane. To werewolves it feels like fire on their skin," I replied with a frown.
Draco tilted his head, his rigid jaw flexing. "I would say that it's more humane than shooting them with a silver bullet." He took note of my disgusted expression. "Come on, now. What other options are there when you're facing off with a violent werewolf?"
"Then wolfsbane should only be used in the most dire of circumstances."
"If you saw what I've seen, you would agree that those are some pretty damned dire circumstances."
"A-hem."
Draco and I ceased our conversation. Astoria was looking at us both from her bed, arms crossed in her pretty chiffon nightgown, looking bored.
"Hell-oooo," she said to both of us. "Mind including me in the conversation? I'm not dead yet."
My face flushed. I had been so involved with my argument with Draco that I had completely forgotten I was there to tend to Astoria. "...Please excuse me, Astoria." In all honesty, her interruption was a welcome one- Draco knew exactly how to get me pissed off.
Draco's face was stiff as he calmly spoke to his wife. "We weren't purposely excluding you. I didn't know you had an opinion on wolfsbane."
"I might have an opinion if you asked me," She griped.
I sat beside Astoria and readied a glass vial and gauze as she bickered with Draco. Today I was going to perform a biopsy on Astoria in order to get an accurate reading of the health in her tissue. I'd have to make an incision just above her hip bone and extract a small sample of cells. It wasn't a big procedure at all- but unfortunately, Astoria was very distracted at the moment.
"I went to the same school you did, Draco," Astoria said, completely ignoring the fact that I was trying to begin the procedure, "I'm just as knowledgeable as you. Which means I have opinions!"
Draco exhaled. "It's not just knowledge. It's expertise. Something you don't have, because you've never worked a day in your life."
Astoria rolled her eyes. "I'm chronically ill, in case you hadn't noticed."
I sat beside Astoria quietly biting my lip. I didn't have the guts to interrupt their very heated personal quarrel. I knew this side of Draco all too well. It seemed that condescension was something he hadn't outgrown.
"You use your illness as an excuse for everything. There's plenty you could do if you wanted to."
"Like what, Draco? I'm too weak to cast magic. I can't even get out of bed!"
"Uhm, Astoria?" I murmured. "Should we reschedule the biopsy?"
"No," Astoria snapped. "Just get on with it." She looked back at Draco to resume their argument as I began to sanitize the skin around her hip. "See what I mean? My life is constant medical procedures and bedrest. How can anyone possibly maintain a profession like this?"
"What about a hobby? A pastime? You barely have interest in anything."
"That's not true," Astoria argued. She was getting so worked up that I worried if she would be able to hold still while I made an incision. "I care about Scorpius."
Draco muttered, "Barely."
It was a condescending statement that was obviously meant to provoke Astoria. I tensed up. My scalpel was ready to make the incision- and I didn't anticipate that Astoria would react so abruptly.
Astoria roared. "What is that supposed to mean?!" In her anger, Astoria jolted suddenly, which made my scalpel slip to a section of her skin that wasn't numbed.
I froze, knowing I had just royally screwed up. "Shit-"
Astoria exclaimed in pain. I hurriedly covered the incision with gauze and murmured the blood clotting spell.
"I'm sorry, Astoria-"
"You idiot!" She spat. Her hands pushed me away roughly, even though I was attempting to help.
I landed hard on the stool, shocked. Astoria pressed her hand over the small incision and lamented like I had almost cut off her leg. "You made that hurt on purpose, didn't you?" She accused, her frantic brown eyes looking at me with intense hatred that seemingly came out of nowhere. "You bitch-"
"Astoria!" Draco roared. The room immediately chilled. Astoria fell silent.
"You will not speak to her like that," Draco said, his voice steady but threatening. "Erica is here out of obligation only. And that obligation is to you. I could dismiss her without a second thought and let you fend for yourself without a Healer. Is that what you want?"
Astoria was sallow and quiet.
Draco glared down at his wife like she was nothing. "Ungrateful woman." He let the insult land, and I could feel the weight of the impact. It made my stomach drop.
Draco turned away from Astoria and walked out of the bedroom. In the tense silence, I heard Astoria sob into her bed sheets.
She cried for what seemed like a long time, forgetting that I was there, before I finally gathered the courage to say something.
"Astoria?" I said quietly.
"What?" She asked, muffled by the sheets.
"May I bandage your cut?"
Astoria, emotionally drained by the encounter with Draco, replied in a small voice that still had a bit of an edge to it. "It's just a stupid little cut. You don't have to."
I bandaged it anyway. She laid on the bed quietly as I secured disinfectant gauze to the small incision with medical tape.
"Why are you doing this?" Astoria muttered, staring off distantly at the ceiling with empty brown eyes lined with dark crescents. I blinked, unsure what she meant.
"Because it's my job," I replied simply.
Her voice sounded morose and hollow. "Do you often heal people who are about to die?"
I wanted to say to her that she wasn't going to die, but I honestly couldn't tell her that.
"...Sometimes," I said.
Astoria turned over in bed and faced away from me. "My life was supposed to end when I gave birth. Now I don't know what to do with myself."
It seemed Astoria was bothered by Draco's comments earlier about her not having any interests or passions. I knew it was normal for people who are near death to become disinterested in life. I had seen it in quite a few of my patients.
"You enjoy being with Scorpius," I pointed out. Well, when she is in the right mood, that is.
"All I ever wanted from life was a baby," She replied, still with her back to me. "Since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted a child, no matter what."
"Is that why you declined the hysterectomy?" I asked, remembering the doctor's note in her file advising that she have her uterus removed.
"Oh... you saw my file," she said with a sigh. "When I was seventeen, one of my doctors thought very strongly that the center of my blood curse was my womb. But I couldn't let them remove that part of me. They wanted to kill my dream so I could live a long, childless life. But I was going to have a baby even if it killed me. I had made my peace with my inevitable death since I was a teenager.... And now that I'm still alive... I just can't help but feel like I don't belong here."
Astoria turned over and looked at me with red-rimmed eyes. "I want to be grateful to you for keeping me alive. But I just can't."
I nodded slowly, wanting to understand where she was coming from. It was impossible to put myself in her perspective. I was an outsider to Draco and Astoria's world. And despite having the best of intentions, I was interfering in things, and making her healing process more complicated than it had to be.
I rose from the stool. "My trainee, Cora, will be taking over for me next week. She's very smart and capable. She'll be able to devote more time to your care."
Astoria seemed surprised by this news. "Oh. That's right... you promised you would find a replacement. That certainly seemed fast."
"It's been nearly three months."
Astoria turned back over in bed, drawing the silky covers over her.
"I'll let you tell Draco, since you two certainly love to talk."
Astoria was fast asleep as soon as she finished her sentence.