So... yeah. It was a very, very long time ago (2 months lol) that I posted the Song Fic for 2kimz, but I got a request from 2kim_is_real so... yeah.
2kim_is_real - I hope this is, you know, generally okay.
So yeah. Enjoy! I hope my writing has gotten a little bit better over the last 2 months!
*
Seems like a part of me will always have to lose
Minju muttered a curse under her breath. Why was it always like this? No matter what she tried, it always ended with her sitting. Alone. Staring at the night sky.
Yujin had broken up with her this way, leaving Minju silently stifling sobs on her neighborhood's sidewalk.
Her closest friends Sakura and Hyewon left her this way after she decided to go to a different college, on a bench at midnight, breaking her heart in a way only friends can do.
This was the way she had sat when her parents kicked her out.
Nothing had ever lasted long.
She really thought Chaewon would be there forever. She really did. Minju and Yiren had called it quits a few nights ago when Yiren met a girl called Aisha and decided that she and Minju were better off as friends. Minju agreed. And suddenly every time she turned to look at her best friend, Chaewon, she wanted to run over and throw her arm around her shoulders. Every time she heard her voice, Minju wanted to look around and hug her, kiss her forehead. Minju had hoped that she might gain Chaewon's trust by spending time with her. Maybe they'd get closer. Maybe she'd have a chance with someone.
And she had destroyed it. Again.
Yanking a clump of her hair, Minju screamed at the sky and burst into sobs that she couldn't stifle even if she had tried.
Every single time I have to choose
Minju couldn't even count the amount of decisions she'd had to make and picked Yiren. She yelled again, still crying, lump lodged in her throat and heart clenched. Her insides wilted a little as she recalled each text answering Chaewon's request of a hang out.
"sorry, I'm with yiren."
"sorry, I'm on a date w/ yiren."
"sorry, I'm hanging at yiren's."
"Hi! This is Yiren! Minju is asleep right now."
Swore that it felt right, but was I wrong?
Minju had thought that asking Chaewon to sing would help them get closer. She would compliment Chaewon's voice, maybe they'd hug, Chaewon would blush and get flustered (as usual) and then Minju would have a better chance with her. It could have gone perfectly.
Of course, it didn't.
Chaewon decided to sing Heather, and every lyric was gorgeous coming from her mouth. The song was beautiful, until Chaewon ran off in tears. Then, Minju pieced things together.
Her jacket.
A jacket she gave to Chaewon. Another jacket she gave to Yiren.
Minju angrily ran a hand through her hair as her hot tears stung her cheeks, leaving her them red and irritated.
Is this where I'm supposed to be at all?
No, it wasn't. Minju could tell that.
She wasn't supposed to be sitting on the ledge of a rooftop choking back sobs.
But then where was she supposed to be?
With Chaewon, she thought.
I don't have the answers, not today
She thought she had liked Yiren, but apparently she really hadn't. She wasn't sad when Yiren broke up with her - she was happy for Yiren and Aisha. She wasn't miserable or depressed like so many of her friends had been when they broke up with others.
So maybe Chaewon was a phase? Maybe she didn't actually like Chaewon?
But she was miserable and depressed and crying after Chaewon left, and she and Chaewon weren't even dating.
What did that mean?
It's like nothing makes the questions go away
At this point, Minju's head was actually in pain. Letter after word after sentence after paragraph after page of wonderings swirled through her brain, bouncing off her skull and practically radiating off of her.
Did she ever like Yiren?
Did she like Chaewon?
Why did Chaewon run off?
Why was she crying?
What I'd give to see if the grass was greener
The grass wasn't green. It was snowing. The sky was an absolute mess of black and blue paint. The stars looked desperate, small, and overwhelmed. They just barely peeked out from behind the clouds.
Minju could relate.
On the other side of all I've had and lost
Minju squeezed her eyes shut, swallowing, trying to remember something nice. Sitting in front of a fire as rain pounded the windows while Chaewon sang along to her phone, Chaewon sleeping on her back as Minju piggybacked the fragile angel back home, sitting in silence with Chaewon as they listened to Welcome to Wonderland after reading They Both Die At The End.
Why did everything revolve around Chaewon?
Minju had to bite her cheeks really hard to stop any more tears spilling from her eyes.
Would it be enough
Was she enough for Chaewon?
Or would I still be wondering?
Squaring her jaw and closing her eyes for one last inhale and exhale, Minju turned around to run downstairs and find the perfect girl that she couldn't seem to stop thinking about.
If I could go back and change the past
Minju couldn't decipher whether she was sobbing or laughing. Maybe it was both. She had never felt this free and this weighed down, this regretful and hopeful, this pained but still warm. More giggles flew from her lips.
She tore down the stairs, counting important moments and her steps by tens.
Be a little braver than I had
Firstly, Kim Chaewon. Kim Chaewon, a stranger, standing in front of Minju for the first time during their first project. Her timid stance, her fidgeting finger, and the way she drowned in her hoodie. Her soft smile as she looked up at Minju.
And bet against the odds
Secondly, Kim Chaewon. The first time Kim Chaewon had held her hand. They were sitting in the library, eating their food even though eating food in the library is prohibited like real rebels, and it was the first time that Minju realized that yes, Kim Chaewon was a rebel. She threw up a grape and caught it in her mouth before grabbing a second grape and plopping it in Minju's. Somehow, her hand had slipped into Minju's because when Minju chewed her grape, Chaewon laughed and clapped her hands, pulling Minju's with them.
Then they'd been kicked out of the library.
It was worth it.
Would I still be lost?
Thirdly, Kim Chaewon. Kim Chaewon, bitterly looking down as Yiren walked up to their table and pecked Minju's cheek. Kim Chaewon, crossing her arms to her chest. Kim Chaewon full of anger, standing and throwing away her plate violently. Kim Chaewon's footsteps echoing through the tiled high school hallways.
Even if I woke up in my dreams, would there still be something I'm missing?
And then, Kim Chaewon. Kim Chaewon, singing heartbrokenly, using that sweet voice of hers. Kim Chaewon getting choked up. Kim Chaewon's voice getting caught in her throat.Kim Minju standing and watching as the the most precious person stalked out of her life.
Kim Minju standing and watching as the the most precious person stalked out of her life.
Minju ran harder and harder and harder. Kim Chaewon was not getting anywhere.
The apartment building got smaller and smaller as Minju ran further away, but she hardly noticed. She passed alleys and stores and people that thought she was insane but she wove her way around the crowd until at last...
a bench.
If I had everything, would it mean anything to me?
Finally, Kim Chaewon. Kim Chaewon, sobbing convulsive sobs on a bench in the middle of the city. Kim Chaewon, tears running down her red face. Kim Chaewon curled up in a ball.
Minju's heart clenched like an iron fist was squeezing with all its strength. Her own face crumpled as she tried not to cry.
This was stupid. She had no right to cry. She made Chaewon cry.
She had no right.
And yet, there were still small, wet drops carving pathways down her face, carrying more pain and heartbreak than she deserved to feel.
Feels like I might have broke the best thing that I had
It took a while for Chaewon to notice Minju. It had begun to rain, and as the sky was already dark, it just became greyer. Clouds gathered and settled over the sky like a soft blanket, except the blanket was also crying.
The rain pelted the tops of their heads and splattered on the two girl's faces. Their clothes were soaked. Minju hardly cared. Chaewon was shivering.
She held her fingertips out to touch the smaller girl's wet cheek.
Chaewon jolted and her head snapped up toward Minju.
Minju saw lightning strike out of the corner of her eye, splitting the sky and her heart in two with a single, fiery stroke. Chaewon's hair was flying out in front of her as the wind blew harshly at her back. But that wasn't it. That wasn't the lightning burned Minju's heart.
It was her face.
I said too much to ever take it back
Her cheeks were too puffy. Her nose was too red. She aggressively scrubbed at her eyes, trying to make the tears stop.
They didn't stop.
Eventually, she gave up and just broke down, limply sobbing into her blue jeans which were much darker because of the water.
While Chaewon cried out her heart and soul, Minju only felt growing tension near her throat.
Scared I'll never find something as good
She'd never had anyone like Chaewon. Anyone that had been there for her for longer than... what, a few months? Minju had gone through friend after friend, family had given up on her, she couldn't even stay enemies with an enemy before they gave up on her.
She really thought Chaewon might be different.
Was it too late to hope that she might still be different?
And would I even know it if I could?
Was it too late to want her back?
From the other side of all I've had and lost
Minju just stood there and watched. Just like always. Chaewon couldn't control the uneven breaths hiccuping from her lips, and Minju just watched.
Until both girls decided they were done doing nothing.
Would it be enough, or would I still be wondering?
Chaewon flung herself at Minju the very moment Minju stepped forward to pull the older in her arms.
It left them awkwardly half on the bench and half off, but that was whatever at this point.
If I could go back and change the past
When they broke apart, Minju gently pushed Chaewon over and sat next to her on the bench. Chaewon was shivering and her lips were blue.
The rain didn't stop.
And bet against the odds
And suddenly between the two girls, amidst the rich, royal blue sadness, the sunset-colored pain, the foggy white calm, awkwardness peaked through.
"So..."
"Hi?"
"Hi."
Would I still be lost?
Minju swallowed, mouth dry. "So. Why'd you run off?"
Chaewon looked down at her legs for a minute, breathing in and breathing out. It was peaceful somehow, watching her chest rise and fall, her damp hair shifting from side to side as the rain pounded on her forehead. She was so delicate, like one of the leaves hanging from the tree they sat under.
Minju flinched and pulled Chaewon closer as one of the many people across the street stepped on a leaf, crushing it.
Even if I woke up in my dreams, would there still be something I'm missing?
"I-I don't know."
Minju cocked her head. "Are you sure?"
Chaewon's lower lip quivered before she answered. "No."
"Then can you tell me?"
If I had everything, would it mean anything to me?
"It's because I love and I hate like every other human being, but I picked the very worst thing to love that I possibly could."
Maybe I should turn around and take the other road
"It can't be terrible, can i-"
Or maybe I'm just looking for what I already know
"Minju."
I'm just wondering
"Minju, it's you."
If I could go back and change the past
"For a while now too. Too long. I hate it because I have no chance. I hate it because now I hate Yiren. I hate it because you'll hate me and I'll have to hate you when I really don't. I don't hate you in the slightest."
And bet against the odds
"But it wouldn't work, would it? You have Wang Yiren. You don't need anyone else."
Would I still be lost?
"So I'm... nothing. Maybe not nothing, but in the scale of 'love' and 'hate', 'friend' is nothing compared to 'girlfriend'."
Even if I woke up in my dreams, would there still be something I'm missing?
"So I'm just here. Quietly loving you. Silently. From the sidelines. Nothing more, nothing less than that."
If I had everything, would it mean anything to me?
"And that's where it ends, doesn't it?"
Would it be enough, or would I still be wondering?
"And what if I loved you too?"
*
*cringes to death*
Welp. This was a helluva lot longer than the other one.
God, I wrote the first part such a long time ago. Why'd I use Yiren? Anyways, I'm sorry Yiren for breaking up literally the most obvious ship in the world (Airen).
So yeah. Hope that was okay!
I'm not gonna list the stuff that I'm currently writing 'cause that would make no sense in the path of events because if I was following rules, this chapter would be after 2kim Mafia AU.
Screw rules, am I right?
However, I will mention is that I got a request for a Werefox AU (mintomi), so I'll be working on that.
Random thing about my life: Only now did I think to get into Black Mamba by aespa 'cause I live under a rock
So yeah. Hope you enjoy the next oneshot even though it's foreseeably bad because I wrote it like two hundred freaking years agooooo!
Requests are welcome and thx for reading luvs <3