AN: Favorite chapter of all time. Through out this whole story, I had a bundle of emotions as I was writing it. But this chapter just gave me an overwhelming feeling as I wrote it. I hope it does the same for you.
THIS IS NOT, I REPEAT, NOT THE FINAL CHAPTER. But this is the second to the last.
ZAYN'S POV
"We are in Ellen's studio, you mad man! Our final interview before summer starts!" He exclaimed.
My mouth hung open.
"What?"
So everything, was just a dream? Every smile, every laugh, every whisper, every touch, every tear, every heart break .. every kiss was just a big dream? But, it felt so real. Every detail I remember, every word uttered by every one was still in my head. I rubbed my temple with my hands trying to clear things up with myself.
Then something haunting entered my mind. What if, Audrey is not here? Or better yet, what if she was here. What if my dream, wasn't really a dream, but a sick, twisted, heart -racing, emotionally challenging vision. But why? Why would that even happen to me?
Something echoed at the back of my mind. It was my voice saying, "I could have done things differently."
Was this, some sort of, a second chance?
Liam emerged from the bathroom as Louis stepped out of the dressing room. They both stopped at their tracks the moment they saw me sprawled on the floor. I needed to touch something again, to make sure I am awake or maybe even alive.
"Lad, what are you doing on the gr -- aahh!" Liam shouted as I grabbed his foot and removed his shoe. I can feel it, I can defenitely feel it. I can smell it too. I scrunched up my nose and threw it back at him.
"How about some foot powder, eh?"
He hastily grabbed it. "Something is up with you today."
"Got that right. He woke up from his beauty nap and totally forgot where we were or what we are doing here." Niall chimed in.
I heard Louis' soft chuckle. "Some dream you must have had yeah?"
Louis. All the memories I had of Louis in my .. dream flashed back. All his rendezvouz with Audrey popped in my head as each scene passed by. All the laughter they shared and even some kisses that I didn't see with my eyes before, but somehow, I know of. It was like all of a sudden, all of their point of views, were my point of views as well. Then an image of Louis crying the night Eleanor came back. Not only did I see that, but I also felt his heart break knowing that he broke Audrey's heart. He wanted to kill himself knowing that he let the absence of his one true love, Eleanor, get the best of him.
If I was getting my second chance, maybe Louis could get his too.
I used my arms to push me up from the position I am in. Mid way up, Louis extended his arms to help me up. As soon as I felt Lou's arm, I realized I can feel another human being besides myself, therefore I am truely awake at this point.
Once I was stood up straight I didn't let a moment pass by.
"Call Eleanor."
Louis was taken back a bit as his body slighlty moved away from me. His eyebrows knitted together. "I'm sorry .. what?"
I placed my hands on his shoulders and took a good grip of it. I then smirked and shook his body. "Call her. She misses you, and I know you miss her too. She loves you so much, Lou."
He raised one of his eyebrows. "Are you two talking to each other behind my back?"
I shook my head. "It's just .. I just know it, okay? And I know you do too. Call her, heck even bring her on tour with us."
His head turned to his right to face Liam, then turned left to face Niall as if he was looking for an answer to question not even asked. He then looked back at me. "O -- okay, I will." Then I felt something inside of me. Like a cool rush of blood ran through me for a second and everything we back to normal. It felt like, a change.
I smugged at Lou and pulled him in for an unexpected hug. I knew I was getting odd looks from the other lads, but I didn't care. I hope that this time, I did the right thing for Louis. I hope his second chance is going to be worth it.
He stiffly patted my back and laughed uneasily. "And you got all this after dreaming?" He asked as we retracted from our awkward emotional moment.
I laughed and nodded. "Trust me, it felt more than a dream."
He chuckled then patted me on the back. He then excused himself and made his way to the corner of the room. He pulled out his phone and scrolled past his contacts. Before touching the green button, I noticed that he heavily inhaled. He was nervous, maybe it's because he thinks she doesn't miss him as much as he does, but we all know she does. He put the phone on his ear and nibbled on his thumb, waiting for someone to answer on the other end.
His face then beamed and glowed. "Hello, love."
He then sneaked a quick glance at me before whispering into his phone, "I just .. terribly miss you."
And I knew, that everything between them will be alright. No more secret affairs, just .. love. After a minute or two he got off the phone with the biggest smile on his face. "Maybe you should be weird more often. You could save a relationship or two." He joked as he gripped my shoulder then proceeded to flop down on the couch.
Just then the door opened and in came a familiar mop of brown curls. Then I suddenly remembered the unfortunate shooting, the hospital, the flat line. I broke down. I went up to him and hugged him tightly. He is here, he is alive.
"Woah there buddy." Harry said as he laughed patting my back.
But I didn't budge. The feeling that I got when I heard the long beep from the heart monitor traumatized me .. even if what is just a dream. I hugged him tighter and I let a tear fall down from my left eye.
"You're alive! You're .. here!" I exclaimed happily.
"Yeah buddy, I took a walk outside. I didn't volunteer for the army or something." His voice full of confusion.
I finally let go of him and gave him another warm smile as I childishly messed up his curls.
He snapped my hand off as I snickered. "What has gotten into you today, Zayn? All hyped up for the interview?"
Just on cue, Niall answered for me. "He woke up. Saying why are we here and shit like that. He said some other stuff like he had a dream or whatever. Doritos?" He offered Harry.
Harry declined and faced me. "You must have smoked something."
Louis' laugh became evident. "Yeah, he then became some love expert of some sort." He piped in.
We all had a good laugh before settling down. We all then faced Harry who looked like he had to say something. But then he put on the freakiest and goofiest smile in the world. And I know that that smile only exists when he has met a girl that caught his fancy.
And then the pit of my stomach suddenly dropped. I know this, this has happened before. It was like, how do they say it, de ja vu? This is when he is going to tell us that he has met -- No wait. Someone is going to ask something first. Someone is going to ask him why --
"Okay, who is she, where did you meet her, and holy lord you've just been out of this room for ten minutes and you already met a girl?! What a hopeless romantic!" Louis asked Harry.
I grew pale. I remember those words. Those were his exact words, down to the dot. So, everything in my dream .. will happen? It is a vision? But then..
"First of all, I am not a hopeless romantic. Second of all, yes I met this girl who was beyond beautiful." Harry answered back.
Again, those exact words. It means, it's going to happen again. I'll meet her during the interview. This sudden churn in my stomach happened, feeling both excited and nervous.
I noticed that Harry blabbed on about Audrey. "I didn't catch her name, but she's one of Ellen's guest today. But she looks extremely familiar. But I know I haven't met her in person, because then I wouldn't let that chance go by. But I swear, I saw her somewhere. Even for just a glimpse."
I knew what was going to happen next, he was going to call dibs on her and nothing would stop Harry from pursuing his interest on her. She would grow on him and he would continue to fall for her as each day passed by. I know this, because I've seen it in dreamland or in that alternate universe I was in. And we all know it was going to end in a hospital bed.
My eyes dropped to a magazing laying down on the floor. I picked it up and placed it on the coffee table, but a word caught my eye. "Courage." It said in bold red letters.
"Her name is Audrey Brooks, and I love her." I blurted out loud.
Silence surrounded the room as all eyes landed on me. I am one hundred percent sure their faces are plastered with confusion.
"How do you even know?" Harry asked as he folded his arms.
I can't explain this to the boys. I can't explain that I know every thing that was bound to happen. They'd think I'm nuts and won't probably believe me. But I could tell them the truth about what I feel.
"She's the girl I stayed up late for watching her YouTube videos." I said to them.
Liam's voice rose. "So you're saying you fell in love with her through her videos?"
I shook my head. "No I -- .." I found my voice trailing off as images of Audrey popped in my head. I remember the times we were on her balcony. All that unexplainable tension between the two of us. I remember how she'd talk and every one stops to listen. Even the birds stop to listen. Because she speaks so beautifully. I remeber the time when we swayed to the soft music, and the world felt so right for once. I remember the times we kissed, and how I wish that I'd feel those soft warm lips on mine again.
" - - I fell in love with her because she's Audrey Brooks. And she's perfect. I know I'm not but.. I promise to love her perfectly." And that's how simple it's going to get.
Harry had a smirk on his face. "Has our resident playboy finally retired?"
I snickered. "Yeah. And the the old Zayn Malik is back."
"She's a stunner." Harry stated.
"She is, isn't she?" I asked almost dreamily.
Niall then raised his hand like a kid in school. "This is great and all but .. have you actually met her? You know, in person?"
I was supposed to answer but Harry beat me right to it. "Who cares, Nialler? He is in love. And love asks no questions."
I was surprised.
Harry then extended his hand to me as if offering a hand shake. "This is still all werid and stuff. And you have a lot of explaining to do. But I am glad you warned me to back off. Like I said, she is a stunner. But you know me, I don't want to get in the way of love."
I admired Harry for being a true man, even if he is the youngest of all of us. He treats a girl like a princess, he treats his fans like his friends, and he puts his friends interests before his. The girl who would capture Harry's heart in the future is one lucky girl.
I smirked at him and shook his hand in that brotherly gesture.
He laughed. "But, you let her go I might just snatch her away."
I snickered. "Yeah, but trust me I won't."
"I know you wouldn't." He winked at me.
"I think you're the most selfless person I've ever met." I said genuienly.
He smirked as he placed his hand on my shoulder. "Nah. I just love you, okay? You're my brother. I'd shave off my hair for you!"
I bursted out laughing. "You wouldn't."
He laughed along. "Yeah, maybe I won't. But you get what I am saying right? We are brothers and we'd do anything for each other."
He then turned around and grabbed something from the racks of clothes. My eyes followed his figure as I continue to ponder my thoughts on Harry. In this "dream" I had, I never really knew why he was shot. I mean, I was being walked out by the police and people started to surround me. I saw the boys and I wanted to come near them but the police escorted them behind me. I remember that they were in a good distance from me. But then when I heard the gun shot I turned around and saw that Harry was laying down, bloody, just a few meters from me. He should have been safe, and I am sure he wasn't the target. So why? Why did Harry get shot in that dream of mine?
After swining on his coat he faced me.
His lips parted. "You know that I'd take a bullet for you, right?"
Looks like I got my answer. And I answered him truthfully.
"Yeah. And I'd do the same for you."
He flashed me a thin smile and turned back to the clothing rack to grab some shoes on the floor.
The door opened and one of the stage crew's heads popped in. "You're on in three minutes. Please stand by on the left wing."
"We'll be out in a second." Liam answered for us as he gave a small wink to the man.
I nauseaous and felt like I was going to have a loose bowl movement any time soon. In three minutes, I will see her for the first time .. for the second time if that makes any sense at all. This time, I have to make it right. This time .. I probably have to shut my mouth.
-------------------
"Well that's a good thing because here they are, everybody please welcome One Direction!" Ellen called out then What Makes You Beautiful started to play.
One by one we were stepping out from the back stage, then proceeded to waving at the audience. I felt my legs were weakining and about to give up. I have never been this nervous in an interview. And I know the reason why I was.
The moment my eyes landed on Audrey, I felt like I was falling in love for the second time. She was in her the same outfit that she was wearing in my "dream". Her baby blue dress fitted her perfectly. As she was starting to shake Liam's hand, she shyly tucked a loose strand of her in her ear. I love it when she does that ; she has that pureness that was just so endearing.
When Harry shook her hand, he didn't bring out those flirty eyes that he wouldh have exposed if a girl caught her fancy. He was really being serious on his promise.
Finally, it was my turn. Her nervousness was radaiating to me as she awkwardly extended her hand. I took it and shook it gently. That same feeling I got in my "dream" when we touch flowed through my body. That pull she had on me, was still there and stronger than ever. My eyes never left her face, but she was avoiding eye contact.
"Hello, nice to meet you." She quietly squeeked.
I gave out a soft chuckle. "I can't believe you're here."
Her face lifted from the ground and I could see those familiar red streaks appearing on her face. "Umm.." She started to say.
"Zayn, over here!" Louis called over and patted the empty seat beside him.
I looked back at Audrey again and my eyes drifted to her lips. Oh, how I would love to place my lips on those. But if I do it now, it would be probably worse that what I did before. I made my way beside Louis and the interview started.
As Ellen asked Niall on how our stay in America was, my eyes were glued to Audrey who tried to look interested in this conversation. I noticed that she was rubbing her palms that were sweating a bit. Why was she so nervous? My eyes then travelled to the side of the stage where a few crew members where placing a black piano in the middle.
And then it hit me. In this "dream" of mine, if we hadn't fought, the interview would have proceeded and she would have had the oppurtunity to perform. I mentally slapped my alternate self on how stupid I was.
My eyes went back to her and she was now biting her lips.
I felt Louis' body slightly tilting to my side. "Look at her longer and she might melt."
He smirked and chuckled as I did my best to tare away my gaze from her and focus back on Ellen who just in time had a familiar question for me.
"What made you tweet about her video?"
I still remember my answer before. But this time, knowing that I some what got to know more of her, I have a thousand reasons why I tweeted that video. Instead of looking at Ellen, I shifted my gaze to Audrey. She was startled as all heads turned on her.
"She's captivating in every sense. Her singing was effortlessely perfect, I got chills every time I played that video. And yes, I watched it a hundred times." I said adding a bit of humor to it.
The audience laughed with me and I saw Audrey giggling a bit.
"She's an amazingly endearing singer, and I am sure as a individual as well. A person with a talent like hers should be spread out to the world." I ended, feeling contended with my answer.
A soft smile appeared on her face. "Thank you. I never got to thank you in person."
My heart fluttered with delight when she acknowledged me. "N-- no problem." I answered, stuttering a bit.
"Really smooth bro." Louis whispered agian.
Not seen in the camera, I nudged his ribs which caused him to whimper a bit.
"We'll be right back with Audrey and One Direction!" Ellen exclaimed as we went off air.
And then the most gruesome five minutes are about to happen. This is were it all started, the bad kind of beggining. I closed my eyes and tried to remember how everything went. I remember a crew member that was supposed to flirt with me or --
"Hey hottie. Ready for you re touch?" A young looking lady carrying a make up belt bag asked me flirtaciously.
At the corner of my eyes, I saw Audrey staring at me as she was having a conversation with Louis and Harry. I knew what I had to do.
The girl started to lean in with a brush as she batted her eye lashes at me. I then put my hands up at her. "Actually, I'm all good."
She then smirked. "Then how about my number?"
God, can't this girl take a hint? "No thanks." I said as I flashed her a smile.
My stomach churned again and I felt that cool blood flow through me for a second again, like the time I told Lou to call Eleanor. Does this mean .. another change has happened?
The girl pouted and stomped off backstage.
I can hear Louis' snicker beside me. "Man, that's the first time I saw you turn down a girl."
I was aware that even if Audrey wasn't joining our conversation as she was staring at the ground, her ears are propped to us. I made my voice a bit louder for her to hear what I had to say. "Well, once you find the right girl, you wouldn't look for another one, would you?"
Even with her hair falling on the sides of her face, I could still see her lips form a small smile. I was happy with that. I just hope she knows that I was talking about her.
"Miss Audrey, would you follow me to the piano? Are you ready for your performance?" A guy asked her.
She stood up abruptly as she wiped her sweaty palms on the sides of her dress. She looked a hundred and one percent nervous, I could tell. I want to hug her then and there, and tell her that she is going to do great as she always does. She took shakey steps as she made her way to the piano.
"And would you guys and Ellen go right over there just a few feet infront of the piano. Stay there as she performs, okay?"
We nodded and I literally rushed to where we were directed to stay. It seems that I can't find myself being far from her knowing that she's in the same room as me. It was weird, I was still foreign to this feeling, but it at the same time it feels so right.
I was now right infront of the piano and have a good view of her. Her eyebrows were knitted as she practiced, singing soflty and gently hitting a few keys. She was struggling a bit as I saw her catching her breath a few times.
I then remembered when I taught her how to breathe properly when singing. That morning, that moment, was so intimate it still sent shivers down my spine. It was the first time I got to touch her, the first time I felt that rush
"Nobody said it was eas- -- ahhh!" She was frustrated when she realized she couldn't reach that note.
I can't see her like that. I then found myself moving towards her. When she noticed where I was going, she eyed me nervously. I saw her body tense as it sat up straight.
"Um, I saw you were struggling there a bit." I said as I leaned over to her level.
"I'm going to make a fool out of myself." She muttered as her elbows smashed on some of the keys.
"You just need .. to get the breathing right."
"How?" She peered her head to me.
"You're a mouth breather. You have to breathe through your nose and steady your diaphragm." I said.
She then followed my instructions. I saw her chest move with her breathing, and her fingers gripping her thighs as she tried to do things right. It was hard to focus on her breathing as I was busy focusing on her.
"Good, but your diaphragm is still weak." I said.
"On air in two minutes!" A man shouted.
"Fuck." She muttered.
I carefully placed my hands on her shoulders. I felt her body freeze with my simple action. I then gently squeezed it soothed it afterwards. I then leaned into her ear. "Relax, two minutes will seem like a life time." She didn't say anything, she just nodded and continued to breathe the way I taught her.
I pressed my body onto her back as my hand made it's way to her stomach. Her body stiffened once again due to my actions.
"Feel the tension here." I said as my lips brushed on her ear. I remember that those were my exact words the time I taught her this in that alternate universe slash dream I had.
I felt her stomach harden, and I knew she was ready. I peered over to the right to take a good look at her when I saw that her eyes were closed and her face peaceful as ever. She was in the zone an she was ready.
"Good luck." I whispered in her ear.
And I sneaked in a kiss on her cheeks.
I didn't get to see her reaction as I had my back turned on her as I made my ways to the boys. But as soon I saw Harry and Lou give me a thumbs up, looks like I managed to make her red as a tomato again.
--------------------
"We'd like to thank our guests Elle Fanning, Audrey Brooks and One Direction! See you and be kind to one another." Ellen said as waved to the camera.
My eyes searched for her in an instant. She was hugging her mom and her brother Jake. I took a step as I wanted to go and talk to her, but I was blocked as audience members wanted to take photos with me. Sighing in defeat and hoping she was still there after all of this, I put on a big smile for the cameras.
After a good ten minutes, I was finally free to chase the girl of my dreams, like literally, my dreams. I chuckled to myself and felt dorky as I laughed at my own pun. I made my way backstage and said a few hi's and hello's. Then, I saw her again. She was laughing at probably a joke her brother hit at her. I love her laugh and how she'd scrunch her nose a bit. Her mouth then shaped into an "O" as she was looking inside her purse. She then turned her back from her brother and started to walk briskly in my direction.
I didn't know what came over me, it was like adrenaline rush all over again. Inside of me, something is telling me that this is the life changing moment I was given. My heart started to familiarly pound hard as she was appearing closer to me.
"Oh, hey Zayn!" She greeted as she was about to walk past me.
I then grabbed her arm and dragged her into the nearest room that I saw. Unfortunately, it was the janitors closet.
"What the helll!" She shouted as she pushed me with her weak hands.
Her hand was on the door knob but I pulled it away.
"Audrey I - - "
She looked furious. "What the fuck are you doing?! Let me out you creep!"
I tried to hold her hand but she quickly pulled them away. "Audrey I -- "
She cut me off once more. "I swear if you don't let me out I am going to scream rape and I'll make sure you --"
"Audrey I love you."
She stopped mid sentence on what she was about to say. She still managed to step back from me given the small amount of space available for us to actually move. She almost tumbled over one of the mops, loosing her balance. I caught her arm and steadied her.
"I love you and the last time I had with you I didn't get to tell you that often. I didn't get to tell you properly. But now, I'll tell it to you everyday. Everyday until you say it back to me. Heck, I'll tell you that even if you already told me you love me. I won't stop telling you, and most certainly, I won't stop loving you, Audrey." I said as I was gazing into her gorgeous eyes.
Her face was blank for a moment, then that look of confusion that I got a lot today was plastered on her face. "What the fuck are you saying? The last time? And you don't love me! You don't even know me!" She exclaimed as she put her arms down.
"I can't explain it now, but I do know you! You're Audrey Brooks. You have a brother named Jake. You live in Woodrose Village. You -- "
She placed her hand over my mouth. "Stop it. Those details can be gathered easily. Sing my favorite song, and maybe I'll listen to this silly love confession of yours." She sassily said.
She then dropped her hand from my mouth and placed it on the door knob. She was about to turn it when I sang to her the song that she loves the most. I closed my eyes remembering how we slow danced to this song that night. How her body amazingly fits in mine. How that moment was absolutely perfect.
"Kiss me like you want to be loved." I sang.
Her hands halted from turning the knob.
"This feels like falling in love." I continued.
She slowly turned around until I was faced to face with the girl I love. Her eyes widened and her mouth hung open a bit. "How'd - - how'd you know that?" She softly asked.
I realized how close we were at this point. One more step and I could kiss her. Instead, I ran my fingers through her hair. I was surprised when she didn't protest. as he even closed her eyes. Before, I wished I could do that more often. Maybe now, I have the chance too.
"One day, I'll tell you this unbelievable thing that occured to me. For now, let me just say that, I'm getting a second chance at things."
"Still weird though." She bluntly commented which made me chuckle a bit.
She then continued. "I mean, you really had to this and-- "
I playfully poked the bridge of her nose. "Well, someone told me that I should be more courageous."
She scoffed. "Well tell that person that he or she is an idiot."
I couldn't contain my laughter. Oh Audrey, if you only knew that person was you, you adorable creature.
I then attempted to poke her nose once more but she caught my arm which caused me to whimper in pain. She immedeatlely dropped it and gasped. "Oh god sorry!"
I rolled up my sleeves and wondered what the hell happened to my arm. It couldn't be because I fell down earlier or --
My eyes widened. My chest was thumping really hard. I felt my whole body being completel cold as I stared on a fresh tattoo inked on my skin.
A tattoo that must have stayed in that "alternate universe."
A tattoo that must not be here if everything that happened before was a "dream".
"Because this moment simply is." Audrey read out loud.
Then I heard her gasp as her body almost lost balance again. I managed to catch her by her waist, and I promped her up. "What happened?"
She then looked at me right in the eye. She was searching for something, something deep inside of me. I wish she could find it. I could already feel her hot breath hitting my lips multiple times. We were so close to each other. So, temptingly close.
"I felt something." She whispered with her raspy breath.
"What?" I asked back in the same tone as she did.
"A sense of .. familiarity." She answered back.
My arms that were still around her waist hugged them tighter.
"I don't know you, Zayn. But something inside of me is telling me to trust you."
You can feel the tension in the air, the intimacy as well. The closeness of our bodies, the hot breaths that our hitting each other's lips, the intense stare we have for each other.
"You don't have to listen to it. I want you to earn your trust."
"Something inside of me is telling me to love you." She whispered once again.
"No, I want you to fall in love with me. I'll make you fall in love with me, I want to do that."
"I hardly know you, but I feel like .. " She then grabbed my hand and placed it over her heart. "This knows you too well."
"Audrey, I --"
She placed her index finger over my lips. "Like what I said, everything seems so familiar. It's weird, but it feels .. right."
Her finger then started to trace my jaw line, then my face. I closed my eyes as I let her study me in any way she wants.
"I feel like I've been this close to you before, but I don't know when."
I just nodded as I feel her touch surfacing my skin.
"Zayn, I want to kiss you."
My eyes shot wide open as soon as those words left her mouth. Her loving eyes connected with mine and her lips formed into a playful smile.
"But, why?"
Then I felt like this time, the roles were reversed.
"Because, this moment simply is."
And those familiar lips landed on mine, and I was on my way to making her love me, using her own words, with no comparisons, no hesitations and no boundaries.
As soon as our lips parted, we rested our forheads on each others. Her eyes were closed, but a soft warm smile appeared on her lips. I kissed her nose and she let out a soft laugh before bringing her forehead back on mine.
On the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of my arm with that unexplainable tattoo inked on it. I don't know how I got it, what I do know is that somethings cannot be explained. But the happiest people choose to leave it like that. You want to know why?
Because the moment, simply is.