let me love you ~ michael jac...

By lovablemj

56.5K 1.5K 373

"I-I never stopped loving you, you know..." I softly croak out, my eyes connected with the floor. "No matter... More

intro/prologue
first interaction
a little older
diana ross
it was all you
it's only a matter of time
fantasy island
pain and regret
numbed to the core
learning about michael
i'm happy for you
tears. lot's and lot's of tears.
apologies
just two kids
motown 25
animal heaven
joseph
new years
the pepsi accident
aftermath
grammys
the victory tour
visiting him
cancelling the leg
no secrets
we are the world
no snow
regret
valentine's day
21st bday
recording bad
recording bad pt 2
praying to God
loving you forever
first love, last love
arriving to tokyo
first show
another day, another grammy's
it wasn't your fault
a new addition to the family
neverland
grief and sorrows
as big as can be
it's time
surprise visit
hectic all around us
workaholic
thankful
dangerous tour
interviewed by oprah
new friends
true colours
landing in Bangkok
horror in the air
nightmares continuing
all clean
hardships
first christmas
back to reality
budapest to paris
vma's
back to normal
relief
clearing everything up
redemption
heartbroken
no more bad blood
simply too soon
ups and downs
third times a charm
10 years
frightened
a big gesture
confrontation
the repercussions
getting better
misfortunate
commonplace
9/11
another little one
meeting martin
las vegas
unwanted visitors
mortified and distraught
treachery
a living hell
shambles
torture
absoloutely drained
nerve-wracking
hasty news
downcast goodbyes
missed him
world music awards
doctor visits
residency
trying my best
rehearsals upon rehearsals
on a decline
on a decline pt 2
until the end of time
...loss
...denial
...denial pt 2
acceptance...
navigating life...
epilogue

on edge

325 11 3
By lovablemj


August 4th, 2000

Ariana

"Michael, you know we can't risk that happening to us for a second time."

"I promise these people are different this time, I spoke to Gavin yesterday. He's very sweet and loving."

I dismiss Michael once again. "That's exactly what we thought about Jordan Chandler..."

Michael grabs my hand, looking into my eyes. "He's suffering, Ariana. He's bound to die. He's got cancer and if I know I can save him and I'm just denying him any help, what type of person does that make me?"

"I don't want our family going through that pain again, Michael, 1993 was the worst year of my life and I think I can say the same for you. Ever since then I've been a lot more cautious about inviting people in. I don't know..."

"This family won't betray us like the last one did."

I falteringly look up at him. Maybe I am being paranoid about this.

"Okay, I'll meet them."

⊹⊱✫⊰⊹

                           August 12th, 2000

Ariana

I stand outside patiently as the children huddle around me. "Who are these people again?" Dede asks.

"A family, specifically a little boy with cancer, he's actually your age." I nudge her playfully, she rolls her eyes jokingly and goes back to watching Michael greet the group of 5 people. There's a man, a woman, a girl and 2 boys.

"Mommy, why do we have to meet them?" Prince questions.

"Because daddy wants to help them out, okay? Now, be nice." I remind the kids before the family walks in our direction.

"This is my lovely wife, Ariana." Michael states, I shake all of their hands nicely as I learn their names all while I wear a warm smile. This family certainly seems very kind.

"I just have to say I love your music so much, seriously. Dangerous Woman is my favourite album ever." I laugh graciously at Davellin, I think her name is, and thank her for her support. She's Gavin and Star's, who is their younger brother, older sister.

"This is Delilah but everybody calls her Dede, she's 11 and our oldest." I tell Janet who's the mother. Dede greets everyone quickly.

"This little guy is Prince, he's 5." Prince turns around, hiding himself in my leg. He's always been so shy.

"Say hi, Prince." Michael says. Prince gradually faces the family. "Hi..." His little voice speaks, they laugh and each say a little hello to him.

"And this is our youngest, her name is Paris. She's only 2." Paris babbles out some sort of hello, she's met with awes and admiration.

"Let's take a tour, shall we?" Michael suggests, leading them to our house. The Arvizo's seem to be in wonder of our home, I felt the same way the first time Michael surprised me with it.

After the short tour is done, Michael offers to take them to the amusement park. They agree almost immediately, we all go for a little ride on the train, it stops right in front of the park.

Everyone scurries off, leaving Janet, myself and Paris back to watch them.

"Your home is beautiful." She comments. "As well as your 3 children, they're so gorgeous."

"Thank you so much. I do take pride in my kids very much. Your's are amazing too. Gavin is so mature at such a young age."

A sad smile appears on her face. "Yeah, he kind of had to become mature quickly with the cancer and all, his childhood was never normal with all the trips to the hospitals and tests and medication and just...everything." She pauses, looking afar. "I wish I could give him a normal life."

My heart sinks for Janet, I can't imagine any of my babies having to deal with something as heartbreaking as cancer. I would probably lose it myself.

"Hey, it's never too late enough to enjoy the magic that childhood brings. I mean, I'm married to an overgrown kid." She chuckles sweetly. "And I would like to think of myself as one too."

"You really think that?"

"I know it." I grin happily, setting Paris down and letting her run free.

"Even if Gavin could indulge in having fun again constantly, there would be nothing much to be excited about. We aren't the richest or most functional family ever..."

I bring her into a hug that even surprises me. "You don't need money to have fun, I know it may look like that but the most fun times I have are when I'm with my family, just enjoying their presence. It sounds cheesy." I shrug. "But it's true."

She smiles again. "I got to thank you again for this. This is probably the best thing that's ever happened to Gavin besides meeting Chris Tucker, he really looks up to him as a comedian."

"Oh, I love Chris. I swear he's made me laugh so hard, I've peed my pants." We both laugh hysterically. "But seriously, it's no problem. Michael loves your kids already."

This sentence seems to light something inside of her. Janet's personality changes and it's almost like I'm speaking to a different person.

"Do you think we'll be able to stay the night?"

My lips part slightly because I don't really know what to say. We barely know these people and yet they're already asking to stay over? It seems kind of suspicious but I keep my cool.

"Maybe, it all depends on what we have going on tomorrow."

She inclines her head in deep thought before throwing a friendly smile back on her face, looking at the park. I do the same and silently hope all goes well.

⊹⊱✫⊰⊹

"Can we sleep in your room tonight?" Gavin and Star beg Michael while Frank Cascio, who came over for dinner, and I stand there. "My mother said it's okay, if it's okay with you."

Nervousness arises in me quite heavily, I had no problem with Michael sharing his bed with children, however, we've been through this before and look where we ended up last time. Michael always has a hard time saying no to kids, it's his weakness. So, knowing him, he obviously says, "Sure, no problem."

He then unexpectedly excuses himself, pulling Frank and myself to the side.

"She's pushing her kids onto me, guys." He bites his lip anxiously. "They can't stay but I don't know how to tell them no."

Frank immediately offers to tell Gavin and Star that it's a no. I take Michael's hand in mine, he looks tense. "Are you alright?"

"I'm just hesitant about this, I don't want a repeat of the events in 1993." I nod in agreement.

"They really want to stay with you, it's okay with me." Janet says with her eerie smile that I didn't trust.

"Frank, if they're staying in my room, you're staying with me. I don't trust this mother. She's fucked up." Michael says, my eyes widen at the use of the curse word. He must be super worried. I could tell Frank was reluctant to do this but he eventually agreed. "All right, we do what we have to do."

It was smart of Michael to ask Frank to stay in the room with him, in case any allegations do try being thrown in the media , Michael has a real time witness right here.

"I can sleep on the floor too." I butt myself into the conversation, Michael takes no time shutting me down.

"No, it's too uncomfortable. You can sleep with Dede."

I frown, wrapping my arm around Michael's. "I can sleep on the floor for one night, Michael."

He sighs. "Do you really want to?" I nod. "Okay, I'll get the blankets ready soon."

"I'm gonna tuck the kids in now." I step away to be pulled back into Michael's grasp. "What?"

"Paris and Prince can sleep in the bed too, it is huge after all."

I don't see anything wrong with them sharing the bed with the Arizo's so it's fine by me.

"Sure, I'll go check on Dede." I walk to Dede's room, knocking on the door, I'm met with silence so I open the bedroom door, she's sleep comfortably on her bed with a book on her chest and her lamp still on.

Stepping over to her, I kiss and wish her a goodnight, closing the book and making sure to fold the corner of the page and switch the light off.

I shut the door and trail back to Michael's room, Paris and Prince are already sleeping like logs on the bed and the same can be said for Star and Gavin.

Blankets and pillows are sprawled across the floor, Frank and Michael sit there conversing. I shut the door quietly, tip toeing over to them. Sitting myself down, I glance at Michael.

"This is actually pretty comfortable." I smirk.

He chortles with a smile, Frank lays on the other side of the room, shutting his eyes slowly. "Goodnight, Frank." Michael and I whisper.

"Goodn..." His voice trails off, letting us know he's joined the sleeping kids.

"Goodnight, Michael." I press a kiss to his lips.

"Goodnight, my love." He spoons me and we're soon the last to fall into slumber.

⊹⊱✫⊰⊹

okay but this chapter was TEAAAAAA okay i hate myself for even saying that ummmm bye see u guys next chapter

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