"WHAT were you so scared of?" Evelyn and Steve sat on his bonnet, parked on the cliff that towered over the city away from Hawkins, the buildings twinkling on the horizon from the sun. Steve brought their sandwiches out from the car, having stopped at a drive-through for drinks on the way here, and unwrapped them on their laps. The sun was delicious and caressing, warming their skin as they lay there, sat in the place they'd first had a good conversation. Halloween a year previous, when Nancy had told him she didn't love him anymore. But now, with Eve, he felt completely different.
Eve shook her head, sipping on her coke and spinning the ice around the cup.
"It's silly." She whispered, looking out to the view.
"Tell me." His hand slipped to her thigh and he swore she stopped breathing. After a long moment she nodded but couldn't bring herself to look at him. She stared at her food, nibbling the lettuce that had fallen out of her sandwich and on to the paper in her lap.
"There was some part of me, that was terrified he was taken." Steve placed down his drink, shocked. A guilt swirled inside him. How could he not think of that?
"Evie, we beat them. They're not coming back." But a Steve said it, he remembered the fear on her face; the desperation and pain to get Will back. The way she'd thrown herself in front of death countless times to save the children and to save him, without even a second thought. He bit his cheek.
"I know." She winced, biting her sandwich before adding, "but I worried that maybe he'd disappeared and we'd never stopped it. And then what if Will had been taken again, too?" Her voice broke and she screwed up the paper, shaking her head.
"Is this what you dream about?" Her eyes pricked with tears and her lip trembled.
"Sort off." Steve paused, sipping his drink and sliding the slightest bit closer to her, disregarding the crusts of his lunch.
"What else, then?" He said it as softly as he could manage, scared the tears would fall or that she'd shut down on him. Please tell me, he begged silently, let me help you. As if she heard, she cleared her throat.
"I think about my mum and dad." She started, hands starting to tremble. "And I think, what if they didn't die in that crash - what if they were taken? What if they were stolen and left in the upside down and died there. What if...they were in the upside down this whole time and I could've saved them, and I had absolutely no idea. What if I was too late, and they waited for me. What if they were waiting to be found and no one ever came." Her eyes were wet and her chin dimpled with strain, trying not to cry. Salt water fell down her face and Steve swore. He placed his drink down and wrapped an arm around her. She sighed, guilt eating her and she could feel it like spiders crawling over every inch of her skin. She grit her teeth and Steve felt her tense.
"It's not your fault, Evie." He said it aggressively, so harshly that he hoped she would believe him. "Billy is fine. The upside down is closed. Eleven would've seen your mom and dad, wouldn't she? Surely. She would have found them for you. She found everyone. They weren't in the upside down and it's not your fault." She cried, quietly in to his shoulder and Steve kissed her head, brushing her hair with his fingers. "Will is safe. Everyone is safe, okay? No one is in the upside down." They barely spoke of it, completely ignored it ever happened. And here, at the edge of Hawkins, they both felt ripped open and exposed. Steve remembered the fear of loosing her, of losing any of them, and held her tighter as if she too, might disappear.
No matter how much he told himself they'd won, he still feared it was a lie. He was terrified the upside down would open again, and this time they wouldn't survive it.
•
"Do you want to go home?" Steve asked softly, now her tears had vanished and her face was fresh. She seemed lighter, just having said it out loud and Steve could swear the shadows beneath Evelyn's eyes had retreated. Eve lifted her head from his shoulder. They'd stayed at the edge of Hawkins for hours, laughing and talking. Nothing seemed to matter out here, as if anything they said would remain here, only shared between them. The sun had set and it was getting cold.
"Sure, you must be tired. Do you have work tomorrow?" She was already up, gathering the blanket they'd pulled out from his car to sit on in her arms and dusting off the stones from her jeans.
"No." He missed the warmth of her against him, the tickle of her regular breathing against his neck. He could no longer smell the vanilla and almond when she stood this far away and he tensed his jaw, frustrated. "Do you?" He tried not to look at her, busying himself by collecting their garbage so she wouldn't see his disappointment.
"No." She helped him, bundling it in to her arms and clicking his car open to place them inside for him. As she ducked out of sight, Steve felt he could breathe again and found his usual courage, something that now escapes him when she was around.
"Do you want to come round to watch a movie or something?" Steve made sure not to see her, climbing in to the drivers seat when she shut the back door and opened the passengers. He made sure his face was unbothered, empty, while she answered.
"Are you sure?"
"Why wouldn't I be?" She landed beside him and turned to put her seatbelt on. With a firm click, he caught the blush on her cheeks. Was she hiding, too?
"I'd love too." They both pretended her answer was normal. Not the whisper that it was or accompanied by her pink cheeks and bashful smile.
"Good, I wasn't going to take you home anyway." She swatted his shoulder and grinned at his cocky smirk. She hadn't seen that in a while and everything felt more normal when he started the engine.
When they reached his drive it had started raining. Eve noticed there were no lights on through the droplets on the window screen and a pull of worry in her chest had her hesitating.
"I think your parents are asleep, Steve." Steve's parents scared her, though she didn't want to admit it, and disappointing them seemed easy. Steve shrugged.
"Nope. They're out of town for the week." He pulled the keys out of the ignition and shut the door, walking round to open hers, though she had already started to push it open.
"Oh, right." She pushed the car door shut and grabbed their rubbish, walking swiftly up to his waste bin and dropping it inside. He trailed her to the door, that strange popping silence burning in to them as they stood close beneath the porch. The rain splattered around their feet, getting heavier with each passing second and they huddled in the small space out of the rains reach. Steve fumbled with the lock as small droplets trickled from Eve's wet hair in to her skin, sticking her curls to her face. He flicked the lights on once they were inside and Evelyn hummed. It was warm and dry, a nice greeting from the evening air, and she giggled feeling the water make a path down her nose and lashes before splatting to the floor. Steve shrugged off his coat, shaking his hair out like a wet dog until Evelyn squealed. He turned, offering to take her coat at the sound of the rain thumping against the window panes. She smiled, her face illuminated by the lights in the hall. She was soaked from the short journey up the drive and water trickled down her face and rested at her lips, fresh trails spilling down from her hair. Her skin looked soft and plump - no shadows from her nightmares present now. Steve hung up her coat, unable to fully take his attention away from her. He towered over her, leaving her coat on a hook with no reason to stand in the doorway anymore. She chuckled, shivering. Water had spilled down her jacket on to her top and the cotton stuck to her chest mercilessly outlining her bra and her stomach. He could see her belly button and her ribs and the shape of her breasts from the way the water outlined her. His breath hitched and he wiped the water droplets from her neck, seeing them pool at the dip in her collar bone. A little breathless, Eve looked him over.
"What shall we watch?" But the question fell on deaf ears. Steve couldn't hear over the blood pumping through him. Her lips were pink in the light, large and inviting and his hand moved from her throat to her jaw to wipe at the water droplets still on her skin. Her eye lashes fluttered in surprise and small bits of rain fell from them on to his fingers. Her breathing became unsteady at his touch and he felt her breath lick his thumb. She watched him through her lashes with big, doe eyes and he found himself swearing under his breath. All at once, he was no longer able to control himself, to contain it all. Not when her cheeks were pink and her eyes were wide. Not when her breath nipped at him again and not when she said his name, barely above a whisper, dazed and confused. It crawled along his fingers, up his arms and into his chest. His name had never sounded good before, but when she said it, he almost dropped to his knees.
"...Steve?" He stroked her lower lip, his eyes darkening and glazing over. He felt the muscles in his jaw flicker, trying to pull himself away but his hand remained cupping her cheek. Her breath kissed his fingertips and he felt a silent groan build in his throat.
"...What do you want to watch?" It was so quiet that Evelyn wasn't sure she'd managed to say anything at all but then Steve responded. His free hand found the bare skin her top had revealed at her waist and she was flush against him.
"...I don't know." It tumbled out in the silence, closing the distance between them. He tipped her face up towards him and his lips crashed against Eve's. He found his hand slipping to her hair, knotting in it when she accepted him, opening her mouth to him, and a little noise travelled out from her tongue on to his teeth and he grinned. He moaned into her mouth, possibly her name, and kissed her deeper. He pushed her head back even further, slipping his tongue between her teeth until he felt hers, sliding their tongues together until her teeth grazed his lower lip and his grip on her waist tightened. She wrapped her hands around his neck, daring to slip in to his hair and kissed him just as desperately.