Authors pov
After coming from the temple everyone was resting in their rooms as they were really tired..
Though shiva and raavi were also told to go to their room , they didn't..
While raavi though that shiva would go to the room to take rest, so she went to the terrace, where as shiva on the other hand thought that raavi should be taking rest and because she doesn't wants to see him he didn't go to their room , and went to the terrace..
Unknowingly they both were their on the terrace , because of each other..
While raavi stood near the ralling looking at the lake near by, shiva stood at other end lost in though...
(They haven't seen each other till now)
Suddenly there came a monkey near raavi which made her scream in fear.
Hearing her scream ,shiva felt scared and looked around the terrace , only to find her at the other end with her face red with fear.He quietly went to her...
Hearing someone approaching her made raavi turn around and seeing shiva there gave her a relif, but that was also short term as the monkey moved towards her which made raavi run towards shiva ,hugging him tightly, as if her life depends on him..
Shiva felt peace within his body the moment raavi hugged him , where as raavi was to scared to notice how comfortable she felt in his arm..
Shiva gently circled his one arm around her waist ,where as the other went straight to her hair smoothing her ..
Raavi: shiva bacha mujhe , kaat lega..
Shiva : raavi kuch nhi karega..main hu naa kuch nhi karega..
Raavi : nhi please hata usse ,mujhe daar lg rha ha..
Before shiva could say anything , another monkey came there and raavi literally jumped on shiva , making him take few step back ,falling on the near by ralling, though shiva balanced himself, sitting on the ralling..
He looked at raavi who had her hand circled around shiva's neck and her legs where wrapped around his waist ,he had his hand secured firmly around her small back.. She was literally sitting on his lap..
Shiva looked at their position and couldn't help but think of how beautiful it would have been if raavi was also in love with him..
He would always made her sit like this then, near to him..
But his wishes , could never be their reality and he knew it.. He sniffed at that though tightening his arms around her waist.
This made raavi pull her head up from his chest and look into his eyes..
Though she did got aware of their position but something inside her told her to live in this moment..
They both were looking at each other as if communicating through their eyes...
They didn't wanted to be pulled away from each other , though they were not aware about each others feeling , they did knew their own feelings for one another and that made them stay in that position...The warmth and the peace was something which they didn't ever wanted to let go off..
They kept looking at each other ,long forgotten about the monkey they were scared of..
It was just them, their peace, their warmth and their love..
Raavi hair were falling on her face blocking shiva view ,so he moved his one hand to her face and pushed her hair behind her ear... Still looking at her...
He let his hand rest on her cheeks, moving his thump slightly taking in her warmth..While raavi too closed her eyes feeling the same warmth pass through her body..
They both wanted to freeze this moment..
They wanted to cry , scream and tell their feelings to each other , but they were too tired to do anything..
And right now they just wanted to keep this moment with them, forever... They wanted to live in this moment and not think about what future holds..
They wanted to keep the comfort they were feeling in each other arms with them lifetime..
If given them an option of other things and this comfort, they would choose this over anything and everything..
While shiva still had his palm resting on raavi cheek , raavi too moved her hand into his hair, she felt a tingling sensation inside her stomach on how smooth his hair felt against her finger..
Shiva closed his eyes when he felt her stroke his hair gently..
They both looked at each other lips and the flashback of their previous kiss came infront of them..
Both of them didn't knew it was knowingly or unknowingly , but they moved their face close to each other, pressing their lips together, kissing each other..
They did felt a different kind of emotions when their lips pressed into each other , but not wanting to spoil this moment they continued their kiss..
Their eyes closed on its own..
The kiss was filled with love pain fear ..
At that moment they weren't thinking about what the other feels , it was just their own emotions, their love ,their pain ,their fear..
They wanted the time to stop,as if wanting to freeze in this moment..
They kept kissing each other not even wanting to stop..
Shiva moved his lips in sync with her kissing her with all the love ..
While even raavi for once didn't felt like keeping her sanity in check, she too kissed him with everything that she had..
And what felt like eternity ,they pulled apart, because of lack of air , taking deep breaths ,they opened their eyes to look at each other and when they were satisfied with the intake of oxygen ,they again moved closer kissing each other..
While shiva pulled raavi more into him not leaving any space between them , kissing her with passion , raavi too fisted his hair in her one hand while her other hand moved on his back ,taking in his scent and kissing him senselessly...
They wanted to pour every emotion in that kiss..
And suddenly raavi was biting shiva's lower lips and instead of making shiva kiss her senselessly it made him stop dead in his track , making him remember how distanced raavi was in this one weak because of their earlier moment and how hurt because of dev she was , and the thought of dev and her love for dev made him stop everything which he was doing.
In that moment shiva felt as if he was taking advantage of her vulnerable state ...
Raavi who still kissing him again bite his lips when she found him not responding to her kisses.. And that made shiva pull away from her , making raavi open her eyes in irritation and she looked at him only to find his eyes teary..
And once again she misunderstood his emotions taking in his tears as a result of his hate towards her..
While shiva felt disgusting of himself ,thinking he took advantage of her state..
They both moved away from each other and stood still at some distance..
Raavi kept looking at shiva wishing he would prove her wrong and that his eyes would stop portraying the hurt in them ,and that he would kiss her senselessly again , but when she found him not at all looking at her it conformed her dought that he hates the moment that they just shared , the moment that was the happiest for her suddenly felt the saddest , where as shiva kept his gaze low feeling ashamed of himself , he couldn't look at her because as per him he took advantage of her vulnerable state and she will hate him for what just happened and he won't be able to take it...
Raavi not being able too take it anymore walked away, while shiva stood still keeping his head hung low, seeing her walk away..
They both again felt their world shattering , infront of their eyes..
How happy they both were , feeling into each others warmth, and how beautiful moment they had just shared ,but it again collapsed and this time it was very hard fall..
The moment raavi stepped inside her room she threw herself on her bed , she wanted to cry but her eyes have given up , it felt that she was in lack of tears now...
And that frustrated her even more , so she took the pillow in her hand and tore it apart, she got up from the bed ,she threw each and every thing , breaking all the mirrors that was there in the room...She broke everything from flower pot , to tv , table each and everything..
And when she was left with nothing to break anymore , she feel on the ground, hurting herself with the broken pieces of the mirror .. But it didn't mattered to her..
She just sat there by the broken dressing table hugging her knees , with her head on her knees..
And Still her tears didn't realised..
Dhara who was searching for raavi regarding some work , looked shocked when she opened the gate of their room,
It felt to her , as if some cyclone has entred that room.. Everything was thrown here and there , the room was in a complete mess..
She looked around to see who did this , and she found raavi sitting on the ground near the dressing table hugging her self, with her head hung low..
Dhara ran to her , wanting to take her child in her arms and confront her..
Dhara for the first time saw raavi this shattered..
True that raavi did tried committing suicide that day , but her eyes atleast held pain in them that day but today they were blank completely blank. This raavi was not at all crying , she just sat there lifeless. And it broke dhara's heart to see her child in this state..
Raavi was not less than a child to dhara and just like any other mother ,dhara too felt a sharp pain when she saw raavi this shattered form today..
She hugged raavi , but raavi stood there still not even responding to her dhara di's hug..
Dhara eyes feel on her injured hands and feet..
She dragged raavi towards her bed and made her sit...
Soon dhara was doing her first aid, though it was not a deep cut , dhara was worried for raavi , not because of her physical injury ,but also because of her emotional injury that she had felt...
She looked at raavi who was looking as if there was no life inside her, as if she was dead..
Dhara felt her own tears streaming down , looking at the state her raavi was in..
She felt as if she was not looking at the cheerful raavi ,but someone who had no life left inside her, she didn't even flinch when dhara was taking out the broken pieces of mirror from her hand..
Raavi sat there , with no emotion at all, it felt like there was nothing left inside her anymore..
She felt as if she was dead...
While shiva was still there at the terrace looking at the place where they sat few minutes back , lost into each other..
He felt anger and ashamed on himself for taking advantage of her vulnerable state...
He knew how emotionally weak she was , and what all pain she was going, and other than helping her , he took advantage of the situation...
He felt more guilt strike inside him when he saw her running away from there..
Not able to control himself , he began to bang his hand on the near by wall.
He kept hitting at wall even when he saw blood streaming down from his hand..
But he didn't cared , he needed too take out every thing from inside, the guilt that strike inside , was making him do it but he didn't cared...
At this point the pain that he was feeling was just for her..
He was feeling her pain , her helplessness ...
He kept on banging his hand on the wall untill his hand gave up , untill his whole body stumbled back because of the injury, more blood were streaming down from his hand but he didn't cared.
He was about too hit his hand again on the wall when he heard gaumbi calling his name..
Gaumbi had came to see shiva on the , to know whether he was fine or not ,and the moment he saw his younger brother trying too harm himself , he felt anger inside him, but when he saw shiva eyes fully red he knew that something happened and that he was not exactly in his sense..
Before he could go to him he saw the blood strains that has fallen there from shiva's hand...
He quickly rushed to him , wrapping his handkerchief in shiva's hand..
He pulled shiva with him towards the ralling and made him sit there before he spoke..
Gaumbi: ye kya kr rha ha shiva , kya kr rha ha , dekh kya halat bana kiya ha tune apne haath ka..
But shiva was too lost to say anything..
Gaumbi waited for shiva toh say something but when he didn't, he shook shiva by his shoulder bringing him out of his tarce..
Shiva looked at gaumbi and again diverted his gaze..
Gaumta realised that he didn't wanted to talk , so he didn't even force him as well ,but he couldn't leave him like this ,so he brought him down stairs and walked him towards his room , he thought of leaving but then he remembered shiva injury and he knew shiva will not do anything about it , so he went inside the room along with shiva , only to see dhara there with raavi..
Gaumbi did see the state on their room but did not asked anything..
Dhara and raavi too looked at them , while dhara gave gaumbi a worried look raavi and shiva avoided each other's gaze fearing the pain that they would see again in each other eyes..
Gaumbi looked at dhara asking her to come along with him , toh which dhara nodded and got up from the bed..
They were about to go went they turned and told shiva and raavi respectively
Gaumbi : raavi shiva ke haath main chot lag gai ha uski pati kr de ..
Dhara : shiva raavi ko chot lagi ha pair main , aur haat main uska dhayan rakhna..
Gaumbi and dhara looked at each other and went from there, leaving shiva and raavi alone and with much needed privacy who were just looking at each others injuries..