~Nico~
A hand grabs my wrist. Slowly, as if in a trance, I look up. Luca, covered in dust and blood, stands over me. I glare at him and try to break free of his grasp.
"What are you doing, Luca? Don't try and stop me. I don't care if you're on Nyx's side, I'm ending it." I hiss.
Luca kneels down beside me, his breathing is ragged. I glance over at the pile of rubble that he was buried underneath and wonder how he was able to survive that. My eyes slide down his figure and see the tip of a stalactite has pierced his spleen and is bleeding profusely. I look up into his blue eyes. He's dying, just like me.
"I'm going to stop you," Luca breathes.
I frown, "I can't believe even after all this time you're still on her side!"
Luca shakes his head, sweat running down his brow. He pries the knife from my fingers and sets it down behind him. I look up at him confused, what is he up to now?
"Nico, I-I'm sorry for what I did in the past. I betrayed you because Nyx took my sister hostage. She wanted to use my own flesh and blood as leverage to use me against you. I knew that she would kill my sister if I didn't cooperate because she killed my mom and dad." Luca rests his head against my shoulder for support.
"W-What are you saying right now?" My heart drops. Nyx killed his parents? Then what about his sister...?
"I blamed everything on you when it was Nyx's fault. It was also my fault. I should have protected my sister with my own two hands. I just want you to know, I lied." Luca lifts up his head and meets my eyes.
"About what?"
"I love you. I loved you so much. I never hated you. I felt like the only one who understood me was you, but I couldn't do anything because Nyx was watching us. She was talking in my head, threatening me, threatening my sister, and... and threatening you. I shouldn't have listened, I knew that she was going to hurt my sister even if I followed her order. And now my sister is dead, you're about to die. I can't just sit by anymore."
Luca's skin is pale as paper. Unlike a werewolf, he can't regenerate his blood and cells at the same rate. Plus, his magic must be depleted after the fight. He can't heal himself. His sapphire eyes peer into mine. I can see his desperation and affection burning passionately. How could this be?
"But you said you hated me? You said-" My mouth opens and closes like a fish out of water, at a loss for words.
"I know what I said. I lied. After betraying you, hurting you, getting you kicked out of your pack, I couldn't possibly befriend you. I couldn't tell you that everything was a lie and I loved you. Because... you would definitely have forgiven me. I didn't want to be forgiven" Tears streak down his cheeks, cutting through the dirt and blood.
"L-Luca..." My eyes search his face, wondering if he's lying. Trying to find any bad part about him besides the doubt that I hold in my heart.
"So, for everything I've done, I'll make it right. If one of us can be happy, I'd rather it be you. I have nothing left to live for. My sister is gone, you have a mate, and I'm a god-damn traitor." Luca cups my cheeks and kisses me.
Luca's lips are dry and cracked. The way they tremble breaks my heart. That's when I notice the black veins across his face and his eyes turn black. He is pulling Nyx out of me and into him. He's trying to trade places. I try and pull away from the kiss-- I can't let him sacrifice himself for me-- but Luca just pulls me closer and makes the kiss deeper than before.
Finally, he pulls away and we're both breathless. I can see the strain that Nyx puts on Luca's body. He wasn't made to be the vessel, but he is still capable of holding Nyx's essence inside of him. Luca places a hand over my heart and whispers a spell under his breath. I gasp, a sharp pain stabs through me, soon replaced by overflowing warmth.
Memories that don't belong to me flow through my head, all from Luca's perspective. I can feel his regret when he didn't stop me from breaking the soul chain. His frustration from being used by Nyx. His grief when he was forced to betray me. And his love when we danced together on the night of the Christmas dance. With each new piece of information, it feels like the missing pieces are being put together. I don't feel as empty as before.
Luca collapses against me, his breathing ragged and shallow. He is holding the knife in his hands, looking up at me expectantly.
"I gave you a piece of my soul to replace what you've lost. You'll no longer suffer from your nightmares and hallucinations because the loving memories I have will block them out. I know it's kind of petty of me, but you'll never forget me now. Haha." Luca grabs my hands and places the bone knife in them. "I'm sorry for giving you another unpleasant memory, Nico, but please... kill me?"
Tears blur my vision and stream down my cheeks. I can't even see the knife in my hands. A sob tears from my throat. How could he do this? How could he still love me after everything he's gone through because of me? I'm supposed to hate him for everything he's done. I've been betrayed, my soul was torn, and I was made an outcast. But seeing his memories flowing inside of my soul, I can see the regrets he has had and the choices he was forced to make. How could I possibly hate him now? How could I kill him?
"Nico, it's not your fault. None of this is." Luca rasps.
Another sob racks my chest. I do my best to blink away the tears so I can see his face. His blue eyes are shrouded with black due to Nyx's influence. He looks like he is in so much pain. I, I have to do as he asks.
"I, I loved you too, Luca. At first, you were... a replacement. Someone that I could," I sob, "get affection from because I was desperate for warmth. B-But you were the only one to care for me when no one else did. T-That's why it hurt so much when you... " My voice cuts off and I can't speak over the lump in my throat.
"It's okay. I understand. Now, please, finish this. Send Nyx to hell as you promised. She is fighting against me right now. I doubt I'll hold on much longer." Luca's eyes droop and I can tell he is fading.
I position the blade right above his heart. The four bloods mixed together make the edge look black. Swiftly, I plunge the blade into his heart, feeling warm blood spurt on my hands. Luca smiles and closes his eyes. His hands drop limply by his side. I hear him take in his last breath. He's gone.
With shaky pupils, I look at my blood-covered hands. Screams fill my ears, deafening me. I realize that the piercing sounds are coming from my raw throat. I start hyperventilating. It's like I've left my body, disassociating, as I watch myself rock back and forth, looking at my bloodied hands.
I killed him.
I killed Luca.
He's dead. Nyx is also gone, but I don't feel any better. If anything, I just feel empty.
Nico! Calm down, you're fine! Noct's voice sounds muffled even though he is inside my head.
I proceed to pass out. The stress and injuries I have sustained lead me to lose consciousness.
~*~*~*~*~*~
"Do you think that he's okay?" Alex's voice asks, seeping through.
"To be honest, I don't think so. He has sustained multiple injuries, yes, but I doubt that it's as big a concern as his mental health. Poor, Nico. He's been through so much and he just killed his ex-boyfriend." Eleanor's voice says.
Ah, that's right. I killed Luca. I killed him. I killed a person. Even after killing countless times at the water spirit's will, it was different. Those were just illusions that lost their meaning after a few. But Luca was real. And now he's gone.
"When do you think we should tell him about Blake and Kayla?" Alex inquires. His voice sounds foreboding.
Are they dead? Did more people die because of me?
"Blake is still unconscious in the hospital and Kayla... oh, god. I heard her family was killed by the demon. Who is going to mourn her?" Eleanor's voice cracks. She sniffs loudly and continues, "If only I had gotten to her faster..."
Alex is quiet.
Kayla is dead. I loathed her once but I never wanted her dead. If anything, I was just jealous because I coveted what she had. Dead. Death. We never got to make up after the fight we had last time. None of us even got to say goodbye. First Dom, then Luca, and now Kayla. Everyone around me suffers and dies in the end. Perhaps I really should have just died back then.
Nico, it's not your fault! These are all the effects of Nyx's plan. She has killed so many people out of a whim. You're not to blame. Remember Luca's words. Noct tries to persuade me but I don't want to hear it. I'm just a harbinger of death.
My eyes squint open, taking in the surroundings. Blinding white infirmary walls with fluorescent lights shining above. Alex is sitting on one side of the bed and Eleanor on the other. Her face looks haggard and dark circles paint the underside of her eyes. Alex looks much thinner and paler than two years ago as if Nyx didn't take care or care about her host at all.
Alex's face is solemn, thinking of the words that Eleanor had said moments ago. His soft blue eyes land on mine and his expression changes instantly. A jolt runs through my heart at the sight. Such a tender and affectionate look that I wasn't used to seeing on his handsome features. It made me want to cry and laugh at the same time, but I felt weary.
Even though he is finally looking at me like I am his mate, I feel so empty inside. It feels like all the joy, hope, and expectations that I had have faded after this ordeal. All that remains in my heart is a towering mountain of grief. It feels like piled-up paperwork that I have to sort through, but I have no idea where to start.
"Nico, you're awake," Alex says softly. He caresses the back of his hand against my cheek with the weight of a feather, as though he were scared that I would break.
"Nico!" Eleanor sobs, gripping my weak hand in hers. Tears glisten unshed in her eyes and she sniffles.
I stare blankly at the ceiling, wondering what I should do. We won. Nyx is gone. My parents are supposedly alive. My sister is right by my side. And my mate has finally realized that I'm his fated one. There are so many things to celebrate.
We may have won, but at what cost? My body is filthy. It is full of scars both mental and physical. I have the brand of a traitor on my neck that will never come off, even if they take off the spell. I was betrayed by the ones I trusted the most and then saved by them. I had wanted to die, then I wanted to live. I had expected to die, and now I am expected to live. Someone who hated me was actually in love with me, but it was never meant to be.
Why is everything such a mess?
"Nico?" Alex questions uncertainly. He leans closer with scrunched eyebrows and a frown.
How do I live my life now? I had dedicated it to finishing school at first. Then I wanted to dedicate it to destroying Nyx and finding Alex. But now what? Should I dedicate myself to Alex? What if he finds out the truth about me and doesn't want such a filthy mate? What do I do? How do I face the parents that I nearly killed? How do I face the pack that I betrayed?
My eyes roll over to Alex. He flinches at whatever he sees in my eyes and quickly wraps his arms around me. He pats my head, smoothing down my hair with shaky strokes.
"It's okay, Nico. Everything is okay now. Everything will be okay." Alex tightened his hold. "We can take things one step at a time. We can go at whatever pace we need now. Don't worry, I'll be by your side. I'll work things through with you."
"R...eally?" I ask with a cracked voice.
Is that even possible? Alex never really took my side before. I have even pushed him away and hurt him. I have done so many terrible things, do I even deserve to have him stand by my side?
"Really!" Alex insists. He pulls away and looks me right in the eyes, "No matter what, I will always be by your side from now on. I will accept anything and everything about you, no matter what it is. From now on, I promise that I won't hurt you ever again. So, please, don't ever push me away, okay?"
He'll accept me no matter what? I look at Alex with shaky eyes, my hands trembling as I hold onto his shirt. "Are you sure? Even if I've done terrible things?" I talk slowly so that I don't stutter. My eyes are focused solely on his so that I don't miss anything.
Alex nods his head. "Even if you destroyed the world, I would still stand by you. No matter how scarred you are, I still think you're beautiful and I will accept. Every. Single. Inch."
My arms and legs grow weak with relief and I slump against the bed. Alex squeezes my limp body affectionately, looking at me with determined eyes. I glance over at Eleanor who is wiping at her eyes with a tissue and nodding encouragingly.
"Is it really okay to stay by your side?" I inquire.
"I wouldn't have anyone else," Alex confirms.
I bite my tongue wanting to bring up Kayla, but I don't want to bring up the dead. Especially, because it was my fault that she got killed.
"Do you love me?" I look into Alex's sky-blue eyes, looking for confirmation. I know he said it once in the cave, but it is still hard to believe.
"I love you," Alex nods, smiling a toothy grin.
"I love you most."
Alex laughs and buries his head in the crook of my neck, nuzzling me. It feels so comfortable and unbelievable that I wonder if I died and gone to heaven. Even though I enjoyed the feeling, a part of my heart whispered that I didn't deserve it. Part of me agrees, while the other shoves the voice back into that shadowy recess. Don't I deserve some happiness?
A/N: Happy fourth of July, everyone! I have finally decided to crawl out of my cave and write a chapter. I have been reading a lot of novels and stuff recently (lol) so I felt motivated to actually write my own. I have a lot of excuses but I won't waste your time. If you enjoyed, please write a comment to let me know and leave a like to motivate me, etc etc. I hope to see you all in the next ch. bye for now.