Lyrani remembered the fear that had come with sneaking up to the royal apartments that day she went exploring. It had since turned into an excitement beating its wings against the inside of her rib cage.
She stepped onto the landing gracing the top of the palace like a crown. The guards bowed their heads and let her pass. That was a welcome change from the stunts Lyrani had pulled to sneak past them before. She should feel at ease, but she only felt like an imposter.
Don't be silly.
Nash had asked Lyrani to dinner for who she was. She may have been his assassin, but her plans had since changed even though she hadn't been able to contact Gazana since they lost connection that afternoon.
Lyrani had no reason to feel bad. There was a lot she couldn't tell Nash, but she wasn't planning on hurting him. Not anymore.
She rapped her knuckles against Nash's apartment's dark glass door.
"Come in!" His voice was like sunlight shining through raindrops.
Lyrani entered to find the dressing table cleared of alcohol decanters and the king lighting candles on it. They shone twice as bright in the mirror they stood in front of. The room was dark but for their light and that of the stars.
The cosy apartment's atmosphere was soft with the fragrance of scented wax and romance. It immersed Lyrani in a vaguely familiar mood.
It was over a year since she had been on a date. Work kept her busy, and she hadn't met anyone she was serious about since her ex-boyfriend.
Until now.
The candlelight darkened the faint shadow of Nash's beard. He had tied his hair at the nape of his neck but left a loose lock to border his face on one side. He wore a black velvet tunic. It brought to mind secrets whispered in the shadows. There were more than enough of those in Vlitavia Palace.
Looking at him, Lyrani felt underdressed.
Her knee-length dress was sewn from the large green leaves of a tropical tree in a distant land. The choppy layers of her hair escaped from her braid, and she let them. They had never submitted to her control, and they wouldn't now. Around Lyrani's neck was a diamond necklace. She wore a ring on her finger.
As pretty as both items of jewellery were, that wasn't why Lyrani had worn them. They were weapons in disguise, brought along in case this night would turn nasty.
She hoped that it wouldn't, but Rayn was unpredictable. Letting her guard down could cost Lyrani more than her life. It could cost her ECISI, Elvenland, and Nash.
Once the last candle was lit, the king turned to her.
"Lyrani." He smiled, and it wasn't the quick, shallow smile he reserved for nosy guests or tardy servants.
It was the smile of a happy man, not a king of pretences.
Lyrani thought back to their conversation in the sunlit clearing in the forest. Nash had said that the most important thing was to be happy. If Lyrani didn't succeed, he would never get that happiness. She might never see him or that smile ever again.
Her path was clearer than ever before.
"You look beautiful." Nash took Lyrani's hand and dropped a kiss on it.
The simple gesture took her breath away.
Lyrani had always considered dark clothing elegant but grim. On Nash, it was breathtaking. For a man whose power was light, he fitted well with the darkness.
Almost as well as he had fitted with Lyrani when he held her to him beneath the stars the previous day.
Gathering enough air to speak, Lyrani hung her cloak on the stand beside Nash's door. "You look...even more beautiful."
"That's a lie." Nash gave a playful smirk.
Lyrani put a hand over her heart, feigning offence. "And why would I lie, Your Majesty?"
Nash tilted his head. "Because you're trying to charm me."
"Charm you into what, exactly?"
"You tell me."
Lyrani bit her lip.
She couldn't deny that she wanted Nash to kiss her again, that she had thought of what else she wanted him to do to her, but she had to tread carefully.
It wasn't only Trelle's wrath Lyrani had to avoid.
Rayn had cut Livh and Dundor off from each other because she didn't approve of them being in love. Lyrani didn't want to find out how she'd lash out at her and Nash for crossing that line, either out of perceived necessity or spite. Whatever Lyrani's feelings for him were, they could wait until a safer time.
"You're the one who invited me to dinner," Lyrani said instead, raising an eyebrow. "Perhaps I should be asking you that question."
Nash laughed as he led her to the table. It was an answer, but it only watered the seeds of Lyrani's curiosity.
It didn't matter why he had asked her to join him here tonight, only that he had. She had tried to convince herself that she wasn't looking forward to seeing him, but she had changed her outfit three times before settling on the one she was now wearing, and that told her she was lying to herself.
The silverware sparkled around the pearly plates. A small fairy statue with feathery wings stood at the centre of the table, cupping a flame in its palms. Dark, heavy curtains framed the door leading to the night-soaked treetops outside.
"I would've set this up on the balcony, but it was too small." Nash gestured at the table covered with a glittering silver cloth. "I hope you like it anyway."
"It's perfect." Lyrani smiled up at him.
He returned it, and her heart skipped a beat. She looked away.
She had told Trelle she didn't care for Nash. She had to pretend that was true for the duration of her mission if she wanted the other agent's help with seeing it through.
No matter how her lips craved his kiss. No matter how her heart reached its unsteady hands out to him.
Nash pulled out a chair for Lyrani. She sat, picturing the bustling dining room a few levels down. Trelle and the other guests were there, sitting at big tables with groups of strangers, making pointless conversation they probably wouldn't remember the next day. Lyrani had this instead, and she wouldn't trade it for anything.
As lovely as this night was, the stars couldn't compare to those beyond the pond portal. It was being with Nash that made this so special.
Nash sat across from Lyrani. His eyelashes cast long shadows in the candlelight.
A servant wearing heat mittens and carrying a large silver dish marched into the room. She set it on the table and removed the cover with a flourish. At the scent of the cinnamon in the butternut soup, Lyrani's stomach growled softly.
Three more servants came in. One carried a clear crystal bowl of colourful fruit salad with little lavender petals mixed into it, the other a china dish of vegetable pasta with big, eye-shaped leaves scattered over it, and the third a shining silver tray with bread rolls and bowls for the soup.
Each of them disguised their curious glances for Lyrani with the movement of setting down their dishes. She pretended not to notice.
No doubt there were stories about her circulating in the palace—servants were the nosiest beings in the realm—but she wanted to enjoy her last night with Nash as much as she could, not worry about what people were saying and thinking about them.
"Help yourself." Nash gestured at the food.
Lyrani looked among the dishes. The warm aroma of the freshly baked rolls beckoned her. She grabbed one and ladled herself some soup to accompany it.
Lyrani tasted a spoonful. It was creamy, comforting in its thick richness. It reminded her of what her mother fed her when she was sick as a child.
Lyrani closed her eyes, savouring the taste and the memory of simpler, happier times, before death shook her world and a ghost haunted her love story.
"Are you all right?"
Lyrani opened her eyes to see Nash watching her, his fork hovering over his pasta.
"Yes." She took another spoonful of soup. "Why?"
"You seem...preoccupied." Nash speared some pasta and brought it to his mouth.
Lyrani looked down at her bowl lying in a rectangle of moonlight. "I have a lot on my mind, that's all."
Nash chewed then swallowed. "Like what?"
Lyrani froze with her spoon in midair. She couldn't share any of her thoughts with Nash.
What she had seen in the crystal cavern, the truth about her mother's death and the identity of Nash's father...it wasn't safe for him to know any of it, not while his grandmother's spirit still lurked. Even Lyrani's plan to save him was best kept out of Queen Rayn's hands.
Lyrani grasped at an answer, however lame it was. "I'm overwhelmed. It has been years since anyone made this kind of effort for me." She gestured at the table, more elaborately set up than any she had ever eaten at.
"You can't be serious." Nash frowned as he forked up more pasta.
It was a bad move to bring up her previous relationship, but it was a safer topic than any of the others on Lyrani's mind. That expressed the direness of this situation like nothing else could.
"I don't want to talk about it." Lyrani stirred her soup. "The important thing is that I'm touched that you would do this for me."
"Of course I would." Nash smiled, and it was beautiful.
It made Lyrani's heart flutter with the ferocity of dragon wings. It made her want to kiss Nash again, and again, until she couldn't anymore because she needed air more than she craved him.
"That night we met, did you ever think that we'd end up here? Like this?" Lyrani kept her eyes on her plate but the fruit salad she set onto it couldn't distract her from her cheeks heating up.
"No," said Nash, taking a roll from the tray, "but I had hoped."
"Oh, really?"
"Really."
"Even with my lady who was so eager for your company?" Lyrani raised her eyebrow.
"Even then. You were the one I couldn't stop looking at; the one I wanted to talk to more than anything." Nash looked down at his plate, probably made shy by his confession.
"Well, you got your wish." Lyrani smiled. "We've come a long way since I brewed you that hideous tea."
"It was awful." Nash grinned. "But I'm willing to let bygones be bygones."
"What a kind and merciful king you are," Lyrani teased without thinking.
"Not always." Nash's face darkened, and he looked away.
Lyrani wished she could retract her words, but all she could do was take Nash's hand across the table. "You know as well as I do that it's not your fault."
He kept his eyes on his plate, but they were distant, as if he wasn't seeing it at all. "But everyone else thinks it is. That's what matters."
He looked so lost and hopeless that Lyrani couldn't help but squeeze his hand.
"We'll find a way out of this. Never doubt that."
Those words overshadowed the doubts lurking at the edge of her mind. She hoped Nash would believe them too. It was the only reassurance she could give him.
He reached over the table to cup Lyrani's face in his hand. His thumb brushed over her skin like he couldn't believe she was here, that she was real.
"If I could wish on a star for anything in this realm, I would have wished for you, Lyrani Esch," he whispered.
Lyrani had kept her heart frozen in a block of ice since her last break up, but now, it melted away, gathering in a cold puddle at the base of her chest.
Nash did have the stars to thank for Lyrani. It was a sprinkle of stardust that had revealed her to him on the night of the ball, inadvertently bringing them together, bringing them here, to this soft moment Lyrani would hold onto forever.
She turned her head to kiss Nash's palm.
Lyrani didn't deserve him, and she didn't deserve this. He had shown her his true self, and she couldn't do the same. Everything they had was built on a lie, but he didn't know that.
After all that had happened, how could Lyrani go through with the unspeakable deed she had come to do?
She couldn't. All she could do was make everything right as she had sworn to when she accepted this mission.
Nash was a good person when he wasn't under Rayn's influence. It was Lyrani who was sick and twisted, and she couldn't blame it on anyone else. She would've killed Nash without looking deep enough.
She would've taken an innocent man's life if she hadn't fallen for him first.
A flash of red outside the window snatched Lyrani's attention. It fluttered out of sight before she could see what it was. Nash didn't seem to notice it, so Lyrani put it out of her mind.
After they had eaten their fill, making small talk as their knives and forks clattered against their plates, the servants swooped in as if on cue.
The dishes clattered as the elves gathered them. They balanced the crockery as they bowed then left the room.
Still with her hand in his, Nash accompanied Lyrani to the door.
"I guess I should be leaving now." Lyrani gazed up at him.
"You don't have to." A mischievous smile teased at Nash's lips, even while he held the door open for her.
He shouldn't tempt Lyrani. She still had her mission to think of.
When she and Trelle had shared their progress updates with Lord Dundor, he had given them the necessary leeway to change their plan but stayed firm with the deadline.
Nash's birthday celebrations ended tonight. As guests, Lyrani and Trelle were expected to leave the next day. They had to complete the mission before then.
"I leave for Irylen tomorrow, Nash." Lyrani squeezed his hand.
The thought made her wistful. She was going to miss the king and the memories of the moments they had shared when she returned home, even more so now that she didn't know what tomorrow held for him.
Lyrani wasn't going to kill Nash, but what if his grandmother's spirit had something worse in mind? What if she acted on that before Lyrani had talked to Gazana and made a plan to stop her?
Nash tilted Lyrani's face up to his with a warm hand, banishing her cold, dark thoughts. "In that case, can I at least kiss you goodbye?"
"But it's not goodbye forever, is it?" Lyrani looked between Nash's lovely mouth and the honey eyes she would never forget.
"I'd like to think not." Still smiling, Nash pulled Lyrani towards him, and their mouths united.
Her hands slipped around his neck and into his dark hair. He smelled like oak trees and the night. Lyrani could breathe him in forever for the wonderful, dizzying, intoxicating spiral he sent her mind into.
Lyrani drew Nash closer. He laid his hand on her thigh and slid it upwards to that part of her that ached for him most.