Hux honestly doesn't know whether he's looking forward to or dreading the immanent confrontation he's currently striding down the corridor towards. On one hand, if the ship damage reports he's still signing off paperwork on are anything to go by, he's walking into a shitstorm. On the other, Ren's absence from the tactics meeting provides him the opportunity to criticize Kylo's complete lack of discipline, if only implicitly, as well as to question exactly why the ship, his ship, once again looks like the ripped-up chew toy of a particularly large, exceptionally stupid dog. Honestly, the knight's behavior earlier that morning seemed out of place and erratic, even by Ren's standards. He had been known to use the Finalizer's nearly priceless console tech as a saber punching bag in the past, but only after a particularly harsh training session with the Supreme Leader or a failed mission. Today, however, he was indiscriminate between trooper blasters and overhead light fixtures, among other things, all of which had burst suddenly at his abrupt, unprovoked shrieks, according to witnesses.
Hux doesn't know what to make of it, but he's definitely not surprised. How is he supposed to bring order to the galaxy along side a man who does nothing but wreak havoc, even within the confines of something as relatively small as his command ship? Hux reaches Ren's door and knocks curtly. No response. He waits, sighs, and knocks again. Ridiculous Hux thinks, entering the override codes to Ren's private quarters without hesitation. His location doesn't register on Hux's Padd, so he must be here. The lights are down, and for a second Hux considers the possibility that Ren is off board. Then, he hears it. Faint, raspy breaths keep an unnaturally slow but steady rhythm. Hux exercises restraint and stops himself from rolling his eyes for his own safety. Vader wannabe. He's not in the mood for this melodramatic nonsense.
"Ren, the tactics meeting you failed to attend was mandatory." Aside from the wheezing, Hux is met with uncharacteristic silence. "I've come to brief you, as it is imperative for you to know this information if the First Order is to continue on track." He pauses, still void of a response. Perhaps this is a tactic meant to unnerve him, he muses. If he knows Ren, though, his co-commander won't be able to keep his mouth shut for long. "Don't expect this every time you decide to display your astounding lack of responsibility. I'm not your babysitter, Ren." The breath doesn't so much as pause, and Hux is beginning to feel genuinely disarmed. He's done playing games. "Lights full capacity!" he snaps. The lights flash on, and all at once Hux is standing before a scene so bizarre his hand jerks toward his blaster on instinct from sheer surprise.
He is instantly grateful for the breathing that irked him before; without it, he would believe what he's found to be Ren's corpse. The Knight lies unnaturally still, sprawled between tangled black bed sheets. Force knows how, but he's managed to turn shades paler than his usual lily white, drained of all signs of life besides his heaving chest and the rattle that accompanies it. Hux orders an emergency medical droid before taking another step forward. Then, he's beside the bed, resting two figures firmly against Ren's carotid artery. Hux is caught off guard yet again, this time by the burning heat of Ren's skin. Just below that, he can feel the flutter of Ren's heartbeat, so rapid he doesn't even bother to count it. Now that he's closer, he notices the sweat beading along Ren's hairline, the sunken purple circles under his eyes, and the red chapped skin along his damp nose. Hux wills his brain to process this. Force users, he remembers, are resistant to disease. An ill Ren is not an impossibility, but it would have to be a hell of a strain. Hux removes his hand at once and takes several steps back. Poison, he realizes, is still on the table. He finds himself actually hoping that he's been exposed to some godforsaken plague instead of having walked in too late on the assassination of Snoke's greatest asset. His Padd sounds a soft alert; the med droid has arrived outside the door. Thank Force! Ren remains unresponsive, even through the poke of IV and blood sampling needles. "Report diagnosis!" Hux barks.
"The patient is in critical condition as a result of dehydration and Dantari Influenza." The droid supplies. Hux is as relieved as he can be, considering Supreme Leader Snoke's apprentice is still lying incapacitated beside him. Dantari Flu makes sense considering the contained outbreak in sector 4c a few weeks ago. The only reason he didn't consider it before was-
"Isn't he vaccinated?"
"Negative. The virus has progressed in his system for a prolonged period. Fatality is a possibility if he continues without medical attention. He is currently being treated with fluids and antiviral serum through liquid intravenous, but transport to Med Bay is highly recommended. The patient's command status requires authorization for transport." The droid hovers expectantly. Of coarse Ren's been wondering around his ship with a fever, too stubborn or stupid to report to Med Bay himself. Groaning, Hux realizes he was wrong to announce that he wasn't Ren's babysitter. Apparently, it took more than a level 8 ship-wide medical order to give Ren a simple vaccine.
"WHY isn't he vaccinated?" Hux demands. Even Ren wouldn't risk catching this to be contrary. Then again, maybe he was confident in his disease resistance, the idiot.
"Checking medical records..." the droid pauses, emitting a low hum. "He did not attend his allotted appointment, or the subsequent rescheduled appointment." Hux indulges in a deliberate eye roll. Of course he didn't. Hux feels like blowing up a planet. He didn't work his entire life, clawing his way up the ladder to deal with this man-child.
"The patient's command status requires authorization for transport." The med droid repeats.
"Authorization granted." It wizzes out as soon as the words leave his lips. Hux hovers by the bed, unsure exactly what to do. His rival looks so weak, so helpless. He shouldn't be concerned, Hux reminds himself. After all, Ren got himself into this, and he certainly deserves it. If anything, Hux should be happy that Ren's immature behavior has finally caught up with him. But he isn't. Hux was a sickly as a child, a waifish little boy whose size and health came as a great disappointment to his father. Ren's breathing really does sound awful. Hux knows the pain of a flu gone to the chest; he worked through one milder than Dantari once in military school and ended up hospitalized over the summer with pneumonia, all to keep his perfect attendance record intact.
Even unconscious, Ren looks miserable, lying there with strands of his tangled dark hair plastered to his glistening forehead. Hux resists the urge to brush them aside. Then again, he reasons, it wouldn't hurt to check Ren's fever. Hux gently strokes back the hair as he cups Kylo's forehead. He's burning up! The knight moans softly, leaning into Hux's cool touch. Good, the fluids and meds must be bringing him around. Kylo's eyes begin to flutter, and as he cracks one open, he cries out suddenly. Turning his face into the pillow, he shakes with wet, chesty coughs from the sudden shift. Hux whips his hand away at the outburst, catching on a few seconds into the fit. "Lights 20%!" he nearly yells over the coughing. "Just breath, Ren." He instructs firmly, wavering between thumping Kylo on the back or backing away to avoid being choked himself. Luckily, Ren is able to catch his breath without help. For a few moments, he lies still and takes Hux's advice, audibly gasping until he falls back into a regular pattern with only a few wheezes here and there.
"...General?" he croaks. "Wha..What did you-?"
"I found you holed up in here in critical condition because you refused to attend your medical appointment." And the tactics meeting, but I suppose being unconscious is a valid reason for that. Never mind the fact that officers from other ships were there, and he would have been a walking biohazard. Ren blinks blearily.
"...Biohazard?" Kylo's voice is at least two or three octaves lower. It's almost as deep as when it's processed through his voice modulator, though he can't seem to raise it above a gravely whisper and it's natural hint of nasal reverb has been multiplied tenfold.
"Get out of my head!" Hux snaps. Kylo narrows his eyes. Hux assumes in anger, but is met with a tone of confusion.
"I didn't...I..." Hux gets the feeling Ren isn't completely with him.
"You did." He offers mildly.
"Then don't think so loudly...it hurts..." Kylo pinches the bridge of his swollen nose. "Appointment?" he asks after a few moments of silence, during which Hux had tried in earnest not to think loudly despite having no idea how to accomplish such a thing.
"For a flu vaccination." Hux explains softly. He'll wait to rebuke a Ren that can process the difference between thoughts and speech, not this mess of a man. Kylo blinks. "You would have been notified." Kylo stares. "Twice."
"I wasn't." Ren scowls, looking a bit like himself for the first time. Hux sighs and pulls out his Padd; better to just show the man than to argue with him while he's so ill. He may honestly not remember. Skimming through his executive orders, Hux brings up Level 8 Quarantine, Sterilization, and Preventative Procedures and selects the attached file, the vaccination schedule. He begins to scroll through sectors, then names, trying to ignore the bought of sniffling that has gradually sprung up from the bed beside him.
"HHHHhhakkXXXSHUU!!" Ren thunders abruptly. Hux nearly jumps out of his skin at what is quite possibly the deepest throating-scraper of a sneeze he's ever heard and the simultaneous sound of glass shattering from somewhere in the refresher. Normally Hux would be embarrassed by his lapse in composure, but at the moment, Kylo seems too busy trying to stop coughing to enjoy startling Hux. Disgusting. Hux can see mist settling on the sheets. He has to remind himself he's vaccinated several times over. You can't catch it, don't think about breathing it, it doesn't matter.
"Shudd up!" Kylo comes as close to yelling as he can, sniffing indignantly and flopping down on the mattress as dramatically as is possible from about a foot above it. "I swear, whend I get oud of dis bed I'll..I'll...heh...I-haahhh....HHhheeEEEEXXSHHOO!!!...ughh." Kylo snaps at the waist, curling in on himself as he sneezes freely. Hux would be amused, if not for Ren's involuntary groan and the training weights that fling themselves from the wall.
"Damnit Ren, cover your mouth!" With a thick snuffle, Ren carefully readjusts himself and fixes Hux with the bitchiest glare he can manage, apparently deciding to save threats until after his nose settles down. Hux sighs, pulling a meticulously folded black silk handkerchief from his coat pocket. Ren makes no move to take it, and the way he glances at it before continuing his steely scowl confirms Hux's suspicion that he's never used one in his life. By way of explanation, Hux unfurls it with a flick of his wrist and says, "Clean yourself up." After a moment's hesitation, Ren finally breaks eye contact, accepts the peace offering, and runs it under his tortured nose. Hux turns his attention back to his Padd, hoping to give the young man some semblance of privacy in case by some small miracle Ren decides to swallow his pride instead of his snot and actually blow his ridiculously long nose. He finds Kylo's file, which, sure enough, has two marked absences from scheduled vaccinations. His eyes widen at the dates, and he scrambles to pull up Ren's mission records. He was off board!
"Huh?" Kylo mumbles tiredly from under the handkerchief.
"Blow your nose!" Hux replies snippily. Kylo coughs a bit and, to Hux's great surprise, allows himself productive-sounding honk. He must really feel awful then. Hux wills himself not to panic; a clerical error like this will be impossible to trace, but he's not directly responsible for every member of the crew. He pulls up the order and Med Bay appointment schedule again, aaaaaaannnnnnnddd there's his signature at the bottom of each. He nearly jumps when his Commlink goes off.
"Yes? What?"
"General, a med droid arrived requesting first responders to, uh," the officer pauses nervously, "Lord Ren's quarters." For once Hux is glad the knight is so volatile. The crew goes out of its way to leave his rooms undisturbed, even, it seems, when facing a direct order to report there. Supreme Leader Snoke will be furious when he realizes his asset is comprised, especially by something as commonplace as a case of the sniffles, however severe the case may be. If he realizes. "Just checking to see if you authorized that," the voice continues, "or if the droid is malfunctioning."
"I have the situation under control. Lord Ren is undergoing classified endurance training." Hux lies placidly. "Only I have the clearance level to supervise him, so I'll need a team of droids equipped for every possible medical scenario on standby. Detach their transmitters from the medical log, and wipe their memory after they assist me. Clear my schedule for the day, and only contact me again for a code red alert or above."
"Yes sir."
"It goes without saying that Ren's quarters are off limits to all staff." Hux adds to be on the safe side.
"Yes sir."
"Very good. You are dismissed." The Commlink shuts off with a soft click. Hux turns back to face Kylo, who is looking at him as if he's some kind of force apparition.
"What?" he snaps. Ren looks as if he's about to reply, but instead he casts his gaze away from Hux. Noticing the subtle quivering of Ren's nostrils, Hux runs his hand uncertainly down the back of his neck and says "Oh, go ahead, Ren. I'll wait." Sure enough, his co-commander's breath hitches desperately, and with a flare of his obscenely large nostrils, Ren smothers a wet "hhhetchuuh.. he.. he... HHhehh.. EXXshubbbehh!!!" into the folds of the dampened handkerchief.
"Gesundheit." Hux supplies generously, glancing down at the now cracked screen of his beloved Padd. "Do you always, um, break things when you sneeze?" Ren nods embarrassedly, then scrubs the underside of his nose with the well-abused handkerchief. "I suppose I'll have to get some more of those.." Hux comments offhandedly.
"Why?" Ren looks utterly lost.
"Well they aren't much use soaked through, and at the rate you're going-"
"But why are you...here? You ordered...privacy here...instead of sending me to Med Bay. Am I...dying?" Finding Kylo collapsed in bed earlier that day, Hux was certain he would never see the man in a more vulnerable state. Wrong again, he supposes.
"What? No! You've only got Dantari Flu! It feels like hell, but it's perfectly manageable as long as it's treated." Hux can't help but roll his eyes when Kylo's widen, then narrow venomously at the good news. "You are being treated, Ren," Hux deadpans, gesturing towards Kylo's IV. "We're under strict orders not to kill each other, remember?"
"But-"
"Alright, look. The Supreme Leader will not be happy about," he waves a hand in Ren's general direction, "this. But what he doesn't know won't hurt him. So, I've arranged for you to recover off record. I suggest you do it quickly." Apparently satisfied, Kylo visibly relaxes, an impressive feat for a man already lying down. "Need anything?" Hux asks bruskly.
"Water." Ren sounds exhausted, but he answers at once. Hux wordlessly makes his way to the refresher, where he works delicately around the freshly broken mirror shards. Over the rush of the sink, he hears a poorly muffled "EExxshuhh!" and an accompanying clatter from the other room. I suppose he can't help it.
"Gesundheit." Hux offers casually as he makes his way to the bed with a full glass of water in hand.
"Thank you." Ren sniffs. Hux can tell by the intensity of Ren's gaze that the man isn't only referring to the blessing or the water.