We need to talk.
I sent the text to Kevin before my mind could be changed. I threw my phone face down on the softness of my bed and nibbled on my fingertips as I waited for the beep to sound. I waited and waited and yet, no reply came.
My anxiety was through the roof and it was only four in the afternoon. I had been home for an hour after my unscheduled and confusing visit with Dean. It took me an hour to realise I needed to sort things out with Kevin before I even thought of Dean’s proposal.
Dean and his soft lips were no match for Kevin’s plush and enticing ones. There was no comparison. My heart wanted Kevin but my mind was telling me Dean was the safer option, but what do you choose when logic clashes with your emotions?
I pulled my eyes away from my phone slowly and with great difficulty. I looked to Tommy who lay on a blanket on my bedroom floor playing. He had grown substantially in the last month and it was surprising to think he was almost eight months old already. Tommy lay on his stomach with his legs and arms spread out wide. He had a look of complete focus and concentration stitched on his chubby little face. His forehead had cute wrinkles stamped on his face and the tip of his tongue stuck out.
I leaned against the wall by my bed and watched silently as he tried to lift himself off the floor. Slowly his body rose up and then he began to rock. I found myself leaning forward in excitement while I silently willed him on. His body rocked and then his arms stretched forward. His hands started to slip under his unbalanced weight but before his body could fall, he dragged his knees across the blanket restoring his balance. He repeated his movements and my mouth dropped open.
Tommy continued his movements until he was travelling across the blanket letting it scrounge up behind him. I squealed loudly and jumped on my bed in my seat. Suddenly Tommy stopped and looked at me just as my bedroom door flew open. My parents stood in the doorway panicked. I laughed when I saw a kettle in my fathers’ hand.
“What happened?” My dad asked frantically while surveying the surroundings for any predators.
“Tommy just crawled!” I screamed, not at all trying to hide my excitement.
“What?” My mother yelled from behind my dad and pushed past him into the room. She looked at Tommy who had given up his previous excursion and chose to rather sit on his bum and push his fingers into his mouth.
“He did mom, I saw him. He finally did it.”
My mother looked unsure but then lowered herself to the ground. She made sure to leave a large gap between herself and Tommy and then she slowly stretched her arms out towards him.
“Come on Tommy.” My mother put on her high pitched baby voice and a large grin. Tommy squealed and leaned forward on his hands. Slowly Tommy moved his hands and then his legs followed. He crawled towards my mother who looked close to tears. He quickly closed the gap and my mother caught him in her hands and threw him up in the air letting him giggle.
“He crawled,” marvelled my mother. My father reached down and pinched Tommy’s cheek. He too looked close to tears. I sat quietly watching my parents gush over Tommy and my heart lifted. There was so much love flowing in the room.
My parents and I had never been the closest, it was hard having a strong relationship with people you don’t see often. Things had changed once Tommy came into the picture though.
My phone beeped on my bed, momentarily distracting me from Tommy’s achievement. I reached for it quickly, hoping it was a text from Kevin. It wasn’t.
I hope you aren’t hurt by my actions earlier.
I smiled, only Dean would be so considerate. I sent off a quick reply saying I was okay. I restarted my phone and triple checked my signal but still Kevin hadn’t replied. I was tired of his silence. I needed to see him.
“I need to go out.” I told my parents, interrupting their devoted attention on Tommy. My mother looked confused while my father kept his attention on Tommy.
“Why? We should celebrate.” She was frowning which meant an argument was on its way to starting.
“I know, but there’s something I need to do.”
“It’s a Saturday, what could you possibly have to do?”
I sighed, “I need to see Kevin.”
Her frown deepened, “what about?”
“The project,” I lied. She sighed deeply and nodded. I climbed off my bed and reached for Tommy. I hugged him and kissed his cheeks. Once he was back in my mother’s arms, I left the house. I didn’t want to have to leave Tommy but I was a woman on a mission. I wanted to kiss Kevin again. I texted Dean for Kevin’s address and made the sudden rash decision to pay him a visit. I drove up his street where all the University residences stood. I gasped when I came up to a beautiful two story building.
I didn’t gasp at how stunning his house was; that would have been easier to handle. Rather, I gasped at the sight of Kevin and an unknown woman in a passionate embrace. He had his lips on hers and his arms wound around her waist.
I slowed the car until it was parked directly behind a car I assumed was the mystery girls’. The sound of my car broke them apart and Kevin’s head turned in my direction. Fear and shock flashed across his face. He dropped his arms from the woman’s body and took a large step away. I bravely and possibly stupidly climbed out of the car. No matter how much my heart was breaking, I wanted answers.
Kevin looked between me and the other lady uncomfortably. “Tori, what a surprise.” He chuckled nervously and quickly looked to the other girl.
“I hope it’s alright that I’m here. I sent you a text earlier.” I answered.
“I know.” He replied and I frowned. So he was ignoring me, at least now I knew why.
“Do I know you?” The unknown female snapped and I immediately scowled. She was definitely a snotty person.
“I don’t believe you do.” I snapped back, equally as cold as she had been.
“How do you know my Kev bear?” She smiled admirably towards Kevin and I snorted at the ridiculous pet name. The girl glared in my direction and her words suddenly made sense. The way she referred to Kevin suggested more than a meaningless, one time embrace. I looked questioningly at Kevin and he played with his collar.
“Tori, I want you to meet Chelsea Jones,” He gestured to the glaring female who quickly put on a mocking smirk and reached for his hands.
“His fiancé’.” Chelsea added and lifted her left hand up for inspection. She shoved her hand in my direction and my eyes watered when they glimpsed the plain silver band on her finger. The ring was a dull and unremarkable design. The mean girl inside of me smirked but the good girl inside me sobbed. I was trilled that Kevin had hardly put any time or effort into selecting her ring but saddened by the truth of his engagement.
“Fiancé’?” I choked. Kevin grimaced and removed his hand from Chelsea’s, making her pout.
“I proposed four months ago.” His gaze was intent on me and I felt as though he were trying to relay a message. Something in his eyes made me wonder if he was happy being engaged to Chelsea.
“How long have you been together?”
“Since high school.” Chelsea replied happily and Kevin flinched. Kevin seemed pained by my presence and I wasn’t all too thrilled to be there either.
“I’m going to go.” I turned to the car but Kevin interrupted me.
“What did you come here for?”
“I just um...” I stammered. “I wanted to ask you about the project we’re doing.” He gave me a dubious look and I smiled. He shook his head.
“We can discuss it now?” He asked and I shook my head.
“No need. We can talk another time. I should go home to Tommy anyway. We’re celebrating tonight.”
Kevin smiled genuinely at the mention of Tommy’s name. “What are you celebrating?”
I grinned, “he crawled!” I answered enthusiastically.
His mouth flew open much like mine had and he stepped forward until we were a step apart. “That’s fantastic news Tori!” He grabbed me and pulled me in for a hug. I hugged him back and quickly pulled away.
“Thank you.” I mumbled and smiled when I saw a furious looking Chelsea. Welcome to my world, I thought. She glared at me and I rolled my eyes at her over Kevin’s shoulder.
“I’m going to go.” I spoke to Kevin who looked grim but, he eventually waved me off as I climbed in my car. I drove away and glanced at my rear-view mirror. I could see Kevin and Chelsea arguing in the distance.
I chuckled to myself and drove away with a heavy heart. It took me a minute before my brain caught up with my heart. Kevin was engaged. Everything made sense now. Why Kevin had always been so secretive with his phone calls and why he had always pulled away from me when things had turned heated between us. It was all because he had a fiancé.
I was so stupid for not seeing the signs. I blinked to not let the tears fall. I was tired of crying. All I had done for the past two months was cry. I pulled the car over to the side of the road and reached for my phone. I dialled the number I wanted and listened to the dial tone. Soon his deep rusty voice answered.
“Hey Tori.” I took a deep breath in to ease the tightness of my throat.
“Dean, I’m glad you answered.” He chuckled.
“I’ll always answer your phone calls. What’s up?” His voice was light but there was a hint of tension floating through.
“I have an answer to your question.”
He gulped loudly, “you do?”
“Yes. The answer is yes Dean.” I felt my lips tremble. I needed to end the call or Dean was going to hear me cry for the second time that day.
“Are you sure?”
“Are you trying to change my mind?” I teased, my humour falling flat.
He laughed, “heck no. I want you all to myself Tori.”
I smiled, “well now you do.”