We are holding hands! We kissed. He likes me! Oh my... Our fingers are twined together as we walk from the garden to our chambers. 'Su' He says as we stop at the hallway branching off to my and Lucy's room, Peter and Ed's are on the other side. I feel a bit nervous standing in the middle of it, what as Peter sees us. 'I send him away, he is never welcome anymore at the council' His words hang in the air and it takes a second for me to understand he is talking about Lord Samuél. 'You did?' His brown eyes grow soft as he looks at me and a small smile appears on his lips. 'For you, yes. And I couldn't stand him anyway' I bow forward, giving him a quick kiss. His hand squeezes mine as a shiver goes through my entire body. 'What as Peter sees us' Caspian softly says and a look of panic flashes through his eyes. I cannot help it but giggle. 'Peter has a disorder called over-protectiveness'
'He just can't lose you and so can't I Su' Caspian kisses me again and releases my hand. 'Goodnight my love' His accent gives me shivers all over again. 'See you at breakfast' I whisper, smiling like a crazy-person.
I quickly tiptoe back to my room, open the door as soft as I can and fall down on my king-size bed.
I have to tell Lucy about this! But first I have to get out of this dress and I have to undo the corset myself as all the maids are sleeping and I don't want to wake them for something this stupid.
I wrestle a bit but I succeed, undressing myself. I slip into my nightgown and a robe made out of the softest silk I ever felt. Then I wash my face and undo my hair, brushing it quickly.
Call me stupid, but it seems my hair is longer already!
I open my door again and tiptoe to Lucy's room. I knock on her door and open it myself. Lucy is sitting on her bed, but when she sees me, she happily jumps off. ''Susan! Are you okay! Caspian has sent him away, that idiot of a lord! I was so worried about you!' She babbles worriedly. I make my way over to her and she embraces me tight. I smell her childish scent and kisses the top of her head. 'Yes, I am now Lu' I release my little sister and we sit down on her bed.
'So, Su. Where have you been?' Lucy says, trying to sound casual but she fails at doing so. I smile and she has to think I am crazy. 'Well. I sought sanctuary in the garden and Caspian found me there. We kissed kind off' Lucy's eyes grow like the size of tea cups and a big smile appears on her lips. 'I am so, so so happy for you!' Lucy squeals as she throws her arms around me once again. She releases me all too soon and claps her hands in excitement. 'O Su. You are perfect for one another. Caspian is sweet and brave and kind and you know what. Edmund told me that he was considering telling Caspian to man up and kiss you already!' She laughs.
By Aslan, I am so glad that that hasn't happened yet.
Suddenly Lucy's face lits up. 'I be right back!' As she slides off her bed and rushes out of her door into the hallway. After a couple of minutes, she is really fast, she is back. And holding an apple pie in her hands. Lucy bounces back on her bed and sets the pie in the middle between us. She hands me a spoon. 'I thought we had to celebrate'
'Good thinking Lu' I smirk as we both dug into the pie, eating and laughing. And I am so happy, my sorrow has lifted from my chest. I can breathe again.
And after the pie is eaten, Lucy and I lay down on her bed, covering ourself with the blankets. 'Tomorrow night is the ball' Lucy says tiredly. 'Let's make it a feast to remember' I yawn and soon my eyes flutter shut, dreaming about Caspian.
{}
'No'
'Please'
'No'
'Oh come on Edmund. Pleaase?'
'No Lu! I am not going. And I am not, repeat Not wearing that!' Edmund states angrily while he points at the royal blue dress shirt and the hideous Telmarine style of pants that is hanging on the back of the tailors cabinet. 'Ed, it is a ball in honor of our return' I say while I walk towards the changing screen in the corner. I take one look at my younger brother, who rolls his eyes at me. 'Ed. We have to go' I state while I disappear behind the changing screen. There is a beautiful dress made for me, decorated with jewels and the burgundy red screams just royalty. I let my hands slide over the silk fabric of the dress. Luckily mine and Lucy's dresses are made in the old Narnian style and I think Caspian is just trying to be funny and wants to joke on Edmund.
'I am not wearing that thing' I hear him say while I undress myself, letting my dress pool around my feet. Now I am just wearing my white slip dress, petticoat and black corset. And after two days of wearing it, I am already comfortable with it all over again. I have to say a corset like this is in my opinion better than the bralette I was wearing back home.
'I look like the cupcake Peter sat on when he met that Archenlandian princess' I hear Lucy giggle and I cannot help but snort myself. I can remember that clearly; Peter sat by accident down on the cupcake a servant brought for the princess. She was so upset that he sat on her snack that she immediately wanted to go home.
'Yes, nothing says Prince Charming like that than gold and blue frosting all over your pants' Lucy snickers.
'Really Lucy?' Edmund says darkly. 'You see that thing too right? Awful' I hear him say and I look quickly at my two siblings. Edmund is looking at the dress shirt and Lucy sees me and winks. I snort once again and quickly disappear behind the screen. I finish getting into my dress as I button the last button up and walk out from behind the screen. My brother and sister look at me in awe and in truth, I don't like them staring at me like that.
'What?' I say, raising an eyebrow, what are they watching me. They have seen me dressed like this before...
'You look perfect as always' Lucy mumbles unenthusiastically as she snatches her own dress from the hanger and pushes past me and ducks behind the screen. I look at Edmund in bewilderment.
What did I do?
Edmund looks sad as he moves to grab his dress shirt. 'Wait Ed' I say, taking a step forward. 'I know that Peter has an old Narnian style of tunic and if you go to the tailor right now, he has one for you'
'How do you now?'
'When I woke up, I asked one of the maidens to bring one of the tunics you wear to the tailor and change it in the old style. That we like' I say, seeing a smile appear on my brother's lips. 'Thank you so much Su!' He says as he rushes out of the room.
And now, Lucy.
'Lucy? Are you okay?' But my sister ignores me as she walks from behind the screen. The dress she is wearing does her beauty no justice. It looks like she is literally glowing. Her dark blue dress is decorated with silver beats and white diamonds.
She is stunning!
'Lucy! What is wrong?' She wants to walk past me but I grab her wrist and twirl her around so we are face to face. She is staring at her fancy high heels and I see the hot tears stream her face. 'I'll never be as beautiful as you Su. You will alway be the pretty one and I am not...'
'Lu' I sigh, sitting down on the sofa that stands against the wall. 'It is true! Every man who meets you, falls immediately in love with you...' she sighs. 'Do you know what I would give for one look that Caspian gives you?'
What?
'You haven't seen the way he looks at you Su. He is totally in love with you. How could he not be? You're the most beautiful queen there has ever been' She hasn't looked at me once telling her story.
'Lu. Listen to me' I say gently, taking her hand and pulling her next to me on the sofa. I take her chin in my hand, so she has to look at me. 'Lucy, you don't know how beautiful you are. I know your struggle. You have told me what you wished while you were on the Dawn Treader. I know. But Lu do you know how many times I've wished for your hair or your smile? You are so full of life and happy all the time and people see that and love you instantly. Everyone who ever meets you, loves you and not because your eyes or your face or your hair. But because of your kindness. You will always be your mother's favorite, the court, all our friends and even our own brother' I state, trying to hide my sadness as I say so.
The relationship she and Peter have, he is always so sweet and affectionate and brotherly towards her.
I blink my own tears away as I focus on Lucy once again.
'Lucy, you are only 13 but people listen to you. All people see when they look at me is my hair or my face but no boy has ever tried to actually get to know me or by the mane, talk about something other than how beautiful I am. And you don't know how lucky you are that suitors are constantly hitting on you' Lucy's eyes grow wide and a small smile appears on her lips. 'Don't tell the boys! But do you have any idea how many times I had to make excuses to excuses overly uhm eager suitors to leave court, they are all pompous, arrogant, stupid suitors' Lucy grins and wipes her tears away. 'And now you have someone who finally understands you and gets to know the real you' She quietly says as she throws her arms around me. I hug her tightly and for minutes we sit like this; both mighty queens but also young girls, sisters who would do anything for each other. Lucy is the first to pull away. 'Shall we go to your room? Then can the ladies in waiting help us with our hair and make-up!' I smile as I see that the joy is back in her eyes. 'Yes'
{}
'Oh Lu, how stunning you look!' I say proudly as my younger sister swirls around in front of the mirror. Our ladies have helped us tremendously and now they are free to go to the ball as well. This is a feast for all Narnians.
Somehow the ladies had managed to weave beautiful pearls and beads into our hair and it was finished off with our crowns. The ladies also did our make up, mine a little heavier than Lucys but we don't want Peter to have a heart attack. I look at myself in the standing mirror in the room; the burgundy dress fits me perfectly, as the lacy sleeves are wider at the end. The skirt is trailing down to the floor in waves and it hugs my torso tightly, pushing my breasts up. It fits me right in all the right places. Lucy is also looking at herself and at the look of it, she is quite pleased. 'We are queens once more. I always hoped that we both would go back' She suddenly speaks up. I take her hand and look at the two girls, both wearing a crown, in the mirror. 'Yes, I did too. But I lost the hope'
'And now you have it back'
'That and much more'
A knock on the door lets me jump. But it is a guard, telling us the boys are waiting on us. 'We are coming!' Lucy yells, still politely at the closed door. I grin and we rush arm in arm out of the door into the hallway. We quickly walk down the grand staircase toward the ballroom. The doors are closed but I can hear the people talking. 'Seriously, this is breakfast all over again. Where are those two... they are twenty minutes late' I can hear Edmund say. The boys are just behind the door, waiting on us and greeting all the important guests and ambassadors. 'How long does it take to put on a dress?' I hear him sigh melodramatically and Lucy snorts. My queens' A young soldier states. I smile at him, gesturing to him to announce us. He clacks his hooves as he is a Faun and the doors open and trumpets begin to sound. A deep voice rings across the ballroom as we appear into view. 'Announcing her royal majesty Queen Susan the Gentle and her royal majesty Queen Lucy the Valiant' The ballroom shakes with a thunderous applause as we enter happily. I look immediately at Caspian, who is staring at me. 'Su' Edmund is the first to hug me as Peter embraces an over-enthusiastic Lucy. But still my older brother winks at me, understanding why it took so long as we both know Lucy's struggle. 'You know that every man is drooling over you right now' Edmund whispers in my ear and I playful hit him on his chest. 'Ed' I hiss but I know deep down he is right. Caspian is still staring at me as I walk towards him. 'Hi' Is the only thing he says als he takes my hand and kisses it so slightly. But it is all to make me blush. The first notes start playing, marking the beginning of the evening. I see that Edmund quickly offers Lucy his hand and they curtsey and bow towards one another. They make their way to the middle of the dance floor. Peter looks at me quizzically. 'Go, open the ball with Pete. It is in your honor and I have the whole night to dance with you' Caspian whisper in my ear as he kisses my temple. He offers my hand, which he was still holding to Peter. My older brother bows and I curtsy as Peter takes my hand and we walk towards the dance floor. Peters hand grabs my waist and when the music starts we twirl around like we have never been gone.
But after Peter, many ambassadors and lord have asked me to dance and as queen I have a duty to dance with them, unfortunately. So every now and then I glance at Caspian, pleading with my eyes to save me from this torture. But he stands just at the sideline, drinking his wine. But I see it in his eyes when I twirl just past him, that he is angry. And the funny thing is, that I am back in my role; from the outside I look calm and diplomatic but from the inside I am cursing all over the stupid lords and yes some of them are nice and talk about their wife and daughters and how happy they are that we are back. But some are also dangerously close with their hand on my waist, gliding down. I just pray that Peter, Caspian or Edmund does not see that, otherwise there starts a new war. I glance at Caspian once again and see that now Edmund is talking to him, looking also at me. I smile at him and he winks. Caspian suddenly sets his cup down and makes, finally, his way over to me and the lord I am dancing with. He taps the lord on his shoulder;'Lord Ferdinand, do you mind?'
The handsome young lord, I am dancing with smiles politely and shakes his head. 'Of course not your majesty' And Caspian cuts in and tenderly wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me close towards him. 'I thought you would never come'
'Sorry my love, that you had to wait. But I am here and I never let you go again tonight' he says cheekily. I laugh wholeheartedly as I am so happy that he is holding me right now. He is twirling me across the dance floor and pulls me smoothly back. I sigh with happiness as the nummer slows down and lay my head on his shoulder. 'I am so happy you are back with me Susan' He whispers into my hair. I lift my head from his shoulder and look at his brown orbs. 'I missed you so much that it hurt' I whisper back as he pulls me even closer, if that is possible. I trace his jaw and braid my fingers into his hair. He bows forward and kisses me softly, not caring that the music has changed and we are still slowly moving from side to side. Caspian presses his palm to the small of my back and deepens our kiss. And all I can do is smile.
Aslan, I love him so much. And I am so happy to be home.