Dear Park Jay,
Do you want to know what happened today? it's been two weeks without you and for the first time since the I-land boys separation in September 8, Belift and Bighit finally let reunion among the original twenty three trainees.
Except that they were missing one of them.
They posted the video in Youtube in a livestream just like before. In the first few seconds, they made it seemed like the first episode of I-Land with the Crown unit entering first, but instead of competition, they were all out in the woods again in front of a very big screen.
One by one, they all entered and every seconds feels like a stab to the heart especially when Sunghoon entered alone by himself. If before, he was smiling to the other boys, his head was only bowed, his face hidden by the long curtain of his bangs. He is barely holding it in.
And by the time the screen turned on, only for the staffs to show your entrance with Sunghoon as the 7th Sense unit - the whole livestream was only lagging by the amounts of comments while the boys couldn't stop themselves from crying.
Heeseung was still the loudest as he is the most known member of Enhypen to spend those years training with you in Bighit. As for K, he really tried to hard to comfort them all but the moment it turns for your clips of videos smiling, so alive and carefree to the point of - we still think you're just waiting behind a corner - you were probably shouting now for the staffs to stop embarassing you.
But the proof was there all over the news and the internet. The picture of your newly bought car - the one you said you will drove up to my house once you have a hiatus from your comeback - the picture of it crashing down the highway before tumbling down to the woods below.
And I am sorry because I can't be there for you in those last hours you must be screaming for anyone to help you. I am so sorry for myself I couldn't even know what your last words must be.
I am so sorry for everything that you'll be missing out now that you're gone.
God, I miss you so much. They miss you all so much. I miss my baby who loves me for the way I am, my big baby who must be sad now to see me aching all over my body and I feel like if I keep crying, I'll run out of tears.
But I can't stop it.
Not when the boy I lost is my everything.
love, Y/N