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It is currently 4am on July 11th.
I woke up a few minutes ago. At first I was startled by the cool air on my bare skin, but the short period of grogginess is gone when I remember why I woke up here. In Hudson's bed. Completely naked.
But that's not what keeps me up. No, instead it's the fact that it's 4am on July 11th.
I'm 22 years old now.
I never thought I'd make it this far in life, nor did I think I would be genuinely happy to be here. Nobody here knows it's my birthday, but that's on purpose. The past few birthdays have been so awful that I try not to think about it. Last year, Mick sent me a torn up teddy bear I'd gotten him to my house. Almost immediately, I had Selene move in. The year before that...I don't want to talk about my 20th. Or my 19th. Anything after 18 is too much for me.
Hudson doesn't know it, but yesterday he gave me the best birthday gift a girl could ask for. A song all about me. At face value, no one would know it's for me, not without the knowledge of my middle name. But I think that makes it even better. It's like our own secret between us and whoever we decide to share the information with. I glance over at where he lays. I can make him out enough to tell he's rolled on his side, facing away from me. Against my better judgment, I lean over and kiss his cheek. His eyelids flutter slightly, but he doesn't stir.
I check my phone and find two messages. One from Dad and one from Lucas. While I have no issue falling asleep at night, the two of them could be considered insomniacs. I know Dad is a diagnosed insomniac, but I'm not sure about Lucas. They both take melatonin to go to bed, that's all I know. I decide to open Dad's first.
Dad: Happy birthday, Princess. I love you.
Dove: I love you too, Dad. Try and get some sleep soon.
Then, I open Lucas's.
Lucas: Happy birthday, hermanita! I'll be in town around noon if you want to get started on your house.
Dove: Sounds good. I'll see you when you get here. :)
I turn off my phone and lay down beside Hudson, pressing my front to his back. He's warm in comparison to the frigid air of his room. Normally, I wouldn't mind the temperature, but under those circumstances I'm usually clothed. Not that I'm complaining, about that part at least. Hudson turns over, now wide awake. He smiles at me and I return it.
"What're you awake for?" he asks sleepily.
"Couldn't sleep. Why're you awake?"
"'Cause you are."
I smile. "Fair enough...I'm sorry I woke you."
He shakes his head and wraps an arm around my waist, pulling me closer. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing, I just...I couldn't sleep, I promise that's all." I bury my face in his chest, listening to the strong beating of his heart.
Hudson runs his hands over the curves of my body. I know he's trying to be comforting, but heat is left in the wake of his touch. "Promise?"
"I promise...go back to sleep Hudson, I'm okay."
I must have fallen asleep after talking to Hudson, because when my eyes open again, he's not beside me. I sit up, the velvet comforter sliding down my bare chest. At the same time, the basement door closes and the stairs creak as Hudson makes his way down. He's got his hair pulled up into a ponytail and his joggers resting just low enough to expose his v-line. Fuck, I gotta stop thinking like that. And I gotta stop staring at him.
He glances over and grins when he notices I'm awake. He's smiling at me like he always does, even though I'm sure I look like a complete and utter mess. I can't confirm it, but I feel like my hair is probably sticking out at odd angles. He comes over and kisses me before leaving a trail of kisses from my neck down to my breast.
"You better stop if you want me to get out of this bed," I tell him.
He chuckles and backs away, running a hand through my hair. "So, what's on the docket for today?"
"My brother's in town to help me pack up stuff from my house...you can come with me if you're up for it."
"Oh, so I get to meet your family?" He raises an eyebrow. "This is getting serious."
I roll my eyes. "If you don't want to go, just say that."
"How about, you go shower and I'll bring your clothes down. Then we can head to your house," Hudson says.
"Sounds good."
I start to get out of bed, but the thing is, I didn't realize how much it would hurt getting up. When I got up yesterday to go to the bathroom, I had so much adrenaline burning through my system that I didn't feel it. But now that I've slept on it, I can really feel the ache between my legs. It's a sharp pain that radiates through my pelvis with every step I take, but I do my best not to show it. I'd prefer if he didn't realize how much my body hurts right now.
Just as he promised, waiting on the bed is a pair of jeans and a tank top. I quickly throw them on and make my way upstairs where I find everyone in the kitchen. Emma and Adonis are sitting at the kitchen island, lost in their own conversation, while Hudson and Damon make breakfast. It's normal scenes like this that make me really appreciate my life right now. Emma looks up at me, a knowing smirk on her face. Her eyes dart over to Hudson and that's when I notice the long, red marks going down his back. Holy shit! How hard did I scratch him?
Hudson turns around and holds out a plate to me. "Pancakes?"
"You of all people should know I never say no to pancakes." I take the pancakes and find a spot beside Adonis.
Adonis and Emma immediately turn their gaze on me, matching Chesire grins on their face. "What?" I ask.
I know what they're thinking, but does that mean I'm going to play into it? No. At least not intentionally. I'm not embarrassed about it, not in the slightest. I just didn't realize they'd be curious. Now that I think about it, how do they even know?
"If I didn't know better, I'd think a cat got ahold of Hudson," Emma says, popping a strawberry into her mouth.
Oh.
That makes sense now. I can't even blame them for coming to that conclusion, because I know I would have thought it too if it were either of them. "Yeah, wonder what happened to him," Adonis adds.
"Oh, fuck you two," I quip playfully.
The girls laugh before Emma speaks again. "Nothing to be embarrassed about, we were just wondering when it would happen."
"Damon and Em were betting, so she owes him $20," Adonis adds.
My brows shoot up in surprise. "Seriously?"
Emma and Adonis look at each other, then back at me with a smile. I can't help but laugh at the absurdity of it all. "Oh my God, you guys are unbelievable."
It doesn't take me long to eat my pancakes, and when I check the clock, it's 20 minutes to noon. Lucas would be on his way to the house right now, so if I want to make it there in time, it would be in my best interest to leave now.
"While I would love to stay and reveal my entire sexual history to y'all," I throw a teasing glare at the girls. "I need to go meet my brother. Hudson are you still coming?"
He nods. "Then put on a shirt and meet me outside."
"You have a brother?" Emma asks.
"Yup, he's in town to help me pack my stuff at the beach house," I tell her.
"Aww, one day you're fucking and the next you're introducing him to the family. I love modern women!" she throws her hands up in the air and smiles at me innocently.
I roll my eyes. "I'll see you guys when we get back."
The drive to my house feels...weird. I haven't set foot in there for over a week. There's this element of fear that Mick and Selene could be hiding out in the house, even after I tried to throw her out. It wouldn't surprise me. Too angry to return home, too bitter at her failure to accept defeat. Even when we were younger, she would do anything possible to get her way, even if she hurt everyone in the process.
By the time Hudson and I reach the house, Lucas's car is already parked in the driveway. He has his own key, so I assume he's already inside. Part of me feels like I should prepare Hudson for meeting Lucas, since last time he was in town, we both thought Hudson and Selene were sleeping with each other. Luckily, that didn't turn out to be the case, but I feel like it would be weird if he went from fucking Selene to fucking me in a month.
Lucas is waiting in the kitchen, looking at some of the pictures on the fridge. There's not many, mostly of the two of us when we were little, before everything got difficult. "You travel fast," I tell him.
"Well, what kind of brother would I be if I took my precious time?" Lucas comes over and gives me a big hug. "Who's this?"
"This is Hudson," I reply. Hudson holds out a hand and Lucas shakes it firmly. This is the first time in a while I've seen him act like a civil adult.
Lucas's eyebrows raise slightly. "I feel like I've seen you somewhere before."
Hudson physically cringes so I take the opportunity to answer. "He's just got one of those faces, Luke. Don't feed his ego, it's already bigger than the house."
"Rude," Hudson says, giving me a playful glare. I can't help but break into a smile.
Lucas suddenly perks up, as if a missing thought had finally returned. "I almost forgot to give you your birthday gift."
Oh fuck. I almost groan as it dawns on me that Lucas just blew my cover. It's not that I had my birthday, I just...never wanted Hudson to know when it was. If he ever asked, I was just going to divert his attention with my tits or something, I don't know. I refuse to look at Hudson as Lucas hands me a small box with my name on the lid. Inside is a golden necklace with a rectangular pendant hanging from it. The pendant opens up, revealing three pictures: one of Dad, one of me and one of Lucas.
"Luke...you shouldn't have." The light catches on the metal, revealing the intricate spiral detailing of the pendant. It must have cost him an arm and a leg.
I turn to show Hudson, and even though he's smiling, his eyes say that we'll talk later. My smile falters slightly, but it returns to its former state just as quickly. Part of me feels angry at myself for my dishonesty, but the rest of me doesn't even want to think about the fact that I'm 22. Turning 22 seemed so unobtainable for so long, But here I am...stronger than ever, I think. Maybe I'm just delusional, maybe it's the adrenaline that's been coursing through my veins for the past month. I don't want to know.
The entire time we're packing up boxes, there's this massive pit in my stomach. Is Hudson going to be mad that I didn't tell him? I doubt it, but that doesn't mean I'm dreading the conversation. But the fear is irrational, right? He's never given me a reason to fear him. But that doesn't mean I'm not terrified. I committed to trusting him, and I do, but that doesn't mean all of my anxiety suddenly disappears. If it did, things would be so different right now. The only thing fending off a panic attack is knowing that if I let it happen, Hudson and Lucas would be in full view of the breakdown, and I don't need that right now.
"You never told me where you were moving to," Lucas says while we're packing up my bedroom. Hudson is downstairs working in the living room.
"Oh," I hadn't told him on purpose, because I know he would try to convince me to stay. "Um...I'm heading up to Chicago."
His eyes widen. "Chicago?! Why so far? And so suddenly?"
I look anywhere but my brother, settling on the mirror behind him. Staring at my reflection, I notice how much I've changed. My face seems a bit fuller, no longer sharp and angular from years of living with an eating disorder. It dawns on me that ever since I started living with Hudson, many of my unhealthy tendencies had fallen to the wayside in favor of treating myself with just a little bit of kindness.
"I need to get out of here," I admit. "There's too many bad memories for me down here...not just Myrtle Beach, but South Carolina all together. I'll still visit you and Dad, but...this is what I need. I already started talking to Coastal about transferring to the University of Chicago."
"Do you even have a place to stay yet? I understand wanting to leave, but shouldn't you give it a bit more thought?"
"I promise you, I know what I'm doing. I wouldn't go if I didn't think I would be alright."
Lucas sighs. "Does Dad know yet?"
I shake my head. "Not yet. I don't...I don't want him to be upset with me. I don't intend on cutting you guys out, but I don't think I'll see 23 if I stay here another year. Especially with Mick and Selene running around."
"You've seen Mick?" he asks, his eyes conveying a sense of horror. While he doesn't know everything, he was my first call once I reached the hospital that night.
"He was here a while ago. Trying to get me to go off with him...this is my first time back in the house since."
"Next time I see that dickwad I swear—"
"Please, don't." It's barely audible. Nothing more than a desperate plea for him not to entangle himself with the insanity of the Hale family. One of us has already dug the grave, there's no need for both of us to fall in.
Neither of us said much to each other after that. There are a million words hanging in the air, begging to be spoken, but they would never be uttered. This happens often. Lucas will assume I'm making an irrational decision, and a lot of times I am. But this isn't one of those times. At least I don't think so. Rushed? Yes. Messy? Yes. Impulsive? Most definitely. But I think this is what I need, and if I get scorched then it'll just be another lesson on being careful.
Then again. I know what I need in my future, and I'm determined to get it.
Since I decided not to take everything, we only ended up with around 5 boxes, each of them easily fitting in the backseat. Lucas gave me a tight hug before waving us off. I have no idea what he and Hudson think of each other, I forgot to ask. I was too lost in my own thoughts.
"Why didn't you tell me it was your birthday?" Hudson asks once we're on the road.
I shrug. "I didn't want to talk about it."
"I feel bad," Hudson frowns. "You know my birthday, but I didn't even know it was yours. I wish I could have gotten you something..."
"You already gave me something," I respond with a smile.
He glances at me, obviously confused. "My song, silly."
"You're counting that as your birthday present?"
I nod. "Nobody's ever given me such a beautiful gift. You may not have known it, but yesterday you gave me everything I could have wanted and more. Even if you weren't aware of it, you made me enjoy my birthday again after years."
Hudson leans over and plants a kiss on my forehead. "Happy birthday, Water Lily."
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