As much as I liked school, I was always happy to see it come to an end. We were on our second week of summer break and obviously it's been anything but uneventful.
The craziness has been fun though, and I would be lying if I said I didn't crave more of it. I guess that's why I was hanging out with Curly so much lately. He always had reckless fun to do. Though it's different now because Soda always comes along. We can't spray paint sides of buildings or jump off cliffs into lakes. Not that Curly showed any interest in that anymore.
He was completely wrapped up in my brother, glued to his side, talking about inside jokes that they never care to let me in on. Sooner or later everyone picks Soda over me. I don't blame them, he's nicer, funnier, more attractive, and just better in everything. Though I didn't expect Curly to choose Soda as abruptly.
We were at the arcade, and I was playing pinball by myself as the other two played foosball. I gave up on trying to get into their game ten minutes ago. I even zoned them out, letting my mind drift away.
I began thinking about Mark, and that rooftop party we went to. Honestly it was the most fun I had in a while, expect for the throwing up and getting spanked afterwards. But that's besides the point. While I was there I was my own person. Not tied down by the names or reputations of my brothers or gang. I was simply being myself and I think the others liked me. I was a little younger, but they treated me just like the other guys. Giving me beer and talking about chicks. The disconnect was little to non-existent between everyone. I craved that again.
"We're running to the bathroom." Soda suddenly was beside me. I didn't look at him, I just nodded. I heard them both scutter off to the bathroom and I let my mind float away again.
Just as an image of Mark re-entered my brain, I saw him appear in the glass of the pinball machine. I thought I was imagining it, until I turned around and saw him standing right outside of the arcade, talking to some rough looking guys.
I inched my way to the open door and began listening to their conversation. Nothing much was being said, nothing I could hear anyways. They were talking under their breath to the point where all I heard was their goodbyes.
Once Mark was alone, I turned the corner and walked out the door, making it seem as if our meeting was an accident. "Oh Mark, hey." I said with wide eyes.
He grinned for a moment and then shook his head with a laugh. "What the hell happened to you?"
I bit my lip, knowing what Mark was referring to. I did vanish from that party pretty abruptly. "Sorry about that." I smiled innocently. "My friend was there, he was pretty messed up. I needed to get him home." The lie came easily, especially because it was the opposite of what happened.
Mark rolled his eyes with a smirk and shoved his hands into his oversized coat pockets. "You're too nice for your own good kid."
I scoffed at the word. "Going to another party anytime soon?" I shocked myself by asking, but more by the fact that I would go. Regardless of the punishment Darry gave me just a week ago, I would go.
Mark nodded and raised his one eyebrow. "You're always surprising me Curtis." He laughed. "But no, I'm tangled in the group now and since I'm new I have a lot of shit to do."
I was sure he meant Fryer and his group. Tangled made it seem like he was stuck in a mess but he had a proud smirk on his face that said otherwise. "Mind if I tag along?" I asked.
His head tilted but he shrugged. "Sure, I guess." He flung his arm out before looking down at his watch. "I have someone to meet in fifteen minutes."
There was something about Mark that I loved. It wasn't his recklessness or the cool look in his eyes. He simply just didn't care about anything. He said every sentence like the last, monotone with a hint of slyness. He only ever smirked, never smiled and never showed any form of weakness or doubt.
I heard loud heavy laughter and I looked over my shoulder to see Soda and Curly leaving the bathroom, both sweaty and disheveled. "Wait here. I'll be right back." I told Mark quickly.
I walked over to them, if they weren't laughing so much I'd say they got into a fight in the stalls. "I'll catch up with you guys later." I didn't bother to comment about Soda's messy hair or Curly's fly that was down.
I turned my back to them and tried walking away but Soda caught my arm. "Whoa whoa whoa." He said quickly, still holding a giddy smile on his face. "Where ya going?" He asked as he turned me to face him.
"Just to hang with a friend." I shrugged.
Soda's smile slowly faded. "Are you okay?"
His question caught me by surprise, to the point where I couldn't answer verbally. So instead I nodded. Soda glanced to Curly then back at me. "See you at home." I said quickly.
"Uh, yeah okay." He ran his hand over his face, trying to push away the real words he wanted to say. I felt them though, I felt his worry. I didn't care to reassure him though.
I glanced at Curly, but he wasn't looking at me. I lowered my gaze and walked away from them.
Mark was still standing right outside of the open doors. "Ready?" He asked.
With a tiny nod and smile I nodded. "Yeah."
***
We walked down a few streets until we were further into the city. I followed Mark into a random alley, covered in random trash and graffiti. "So what exactly are we doing?" I asked slowly.
"You're really clueless aren't you?" Mark laughed.
"No." I muttered quickly.
Mark just scoffed and nodded. He walked up to a metal door that looked like one of an industrial cooler. He knocked four times and then took a step back. I followed his actions and watched as the door slowly opened. A head peeked out, one of which I didn't recognize, but his jacket looked familiar. "What do you want?" The man barked.
"I'm with Willie, on Fryer's branch." Mark spoke with his head high.
The man looked at him, and then at me. "Fryer got a bunch of kids working for him now?" The man laughed. I didn't actually know Mark's age. I think he said he was sixteen once, but he could have been lying. Either way he was short and didn't have any facial hair. If it wasn't for his bulky build you'd never guess more than fourteen.
"If it matters so much to you we can just go somewhere else." Mark shrugged and the man's face scrunched up.
"No, gimme." He held out his rough hand that was stained black from something, and covered in calluses.
Mark reached his hand into the inner pocket of his coat. "Money first." He suddenly said.
The man scoffed and threw a stack of cash that was being held together by rubber bands. Mark caught it with one hand and then handed the man a small white bag. The same kind Darry had no doubt. "It better all be in here."
Mark pocketed the money and then lifted his hands up in a defensive way. "If it's not, don't shoot me. I'm just the delivery man." he smirked a bit when the man grunted. The door was slammed in our faces and Mark began walking away with a small pep in his step.
"So you're a drug dealer?" I asked.
"Not much gets past you." He laughed quietly.
I was surprising not surprised by this information. I mean I kinda figured, I just didn't think it would be true. "And Fryer, he's in on it too?" I remembered Fryer from the rooftop party, he definitely seemed like the type that would be doing this shit.
"Yeah, he's the head of my branch." Mark nodded. I stayed silent, trying to figure out everything in my mind so I wouldn't pester him with questions. "You know as funny as your clueless puppy expressions are, I kinda feel bad." Mark stopped walking and leaned against a building, taking a cigarette from his pocket and lighting it. "How much do you know about the town you live in?"
I opened my mouth to speak but I had no words to say. I didn't know what Mark expected me to know. This town is divided by social class, that's just a fact. There are greasers and Soc. But then I started thinking, which one was Mark, and Fryer. Greasers right? And the greasers sold drugs apparently, but only to other greasers, right? The more I thought about what I knew the more I questioned everything. "Nothing." I muttered, my eyes darting towards the ground.
Mark hummed, but didn't laugh. That was the answer he assumed he would get from me. "This town, the whole town, runs on a drug business."
"Even the West side?" I asked quickly.
Mark laughed at that. "This town isn't as cut and dry as Greaser and Soc. Everyone is either driven by money, power or drugs. And they all go hang and hand. Willie runs everything. He oversees the operations and grows his people. Everyone works for him even if they don't know they do. He has people everywhere, from the corners of the dirtiest streets to the top of the West side corporations."
How could one person have so much control over a whole city? Of course the thought of Darry being involved in all of this crossed my mind, but quite frankly I didn't believe it. I might not know my big brother as well as I thought I once did, but I know him enough to know he wouldn't get wrapped up in that sort of thing. He didn't care about money power or drugs.
He knows how to get money, if he really cared so much about it he would quit his job and focus on drag races or poker games and then move us all to the West side. He has enough power within our gang, and even our town. I doubt he would be driven to get more. And I just couldn't see him doing drugs. Selling them maybe, but never doing them.
"What are you driven by?" I asked Mark. "What made you join?"
I saw the gears turn in his head. I couldn't pinpoint a guess to him either. It seemed like he was also having a hard time at that. "All of it." He finally said. It seemed to be the first time he's said that out loud, maybe the first time he even thought about it directly.
I, on the other hand, have been thinking about what I want for a while. I wanted respect, and it was clear that my own gang wasn't going to give that to me. I locked eyes with Mark, who was already smirking. "I want power." My voice was solid and my eyes held their place.
Mark looked anything but surprised. He nodded, seeming to understand exactly what I was saying. "You'll have to start at the bottom. Power will be hard, but It'll come." I nodded back. I knew they weren't just going to respect me off the back, but I had a better chance with the drug dealers than my own family. "Fryer did seem to like you when you met. It shouldn't be too hard to get you in."
Mark pushed off the wall he was leaning on and began to walk down the crackled street. I followed just behind him into a deeper part of the city. "Just be polite, but sure of yourself." Mark told me.
"Got it." I said quickly.
"Don't disrespect anyone." He said sharply. I nodded, thinking about all the ways I could accidentally offend these guys. "And definitely don't mention your gang."
"Why?" I wasn't planning on it, but that seemed like a weird rule.
"Because if your gang leader wanted you knowing about everything and wanted you involved, you would be." Mark's eyebrows shot up at me. "That'll put Fryer in a bad position. He'll get in trouble if he upsets a leader."
"But my gang isn't a part of this mega drug gang." I know I said it to Mark, but I was mainly talking to myself.
"Are you sure?" Mark scoffed.
"I think so." I muttered.
He sighed, clearly not believing me. "Even if that's true, don't mention it. They won't take kindly to spies."
"I'm not a spy." I was quick to defend.
"Only a spy would say that." Mark laughed and we continued to walk until we reached an antique shop.
We walked into the small one room store that was crowded with teacups, vases, paintings and old rusty instruments. "Well how can I help you boys today?" The older man working the register asked. He was wearing an oversized white wrinkly shirt and brown pants that flared at the bottom. Everything was being held up by blue suspenders that matched his blue boater.
Mark walked up to him and leaned his forearm on the counter. "We're here to see Fryer. He slid a piece of paper to the man who grabbed it with slightly shaking hands.
"Of course." The man smiled. "Right through here." His hand disappeared under the counter, and then one of the bookshelves slowly began to turn.
I've heard about secret rooms and underground tunnels that opened up just like this, but they were all in fantasy books. Just fiction that never would transpire in real life. I pinched myself as I followed Mark through the bookcase and into a seemingly small hallway.
There was one door at the end, and one on the left hand side. The end door gave off a small red light under it, and you could hear deep laughs and muffled murmurs. Mark seemed unaffected by the whole ordeal and walked straight up to the red aluminous door. His knocks were quiet, but stable. He stepped back and we both waited for the door to open.
Mark didn't dare knock again, and waited a good few minutes until the door was opened by a short scrawny boy, appearing to be even younger than me. He had a blond overgrown bowl cut and soft blue eyes. My attention didn't stay on him too long, I looked past the boy and tried to get a glimpse of what was beyond the door.
I couldn't see much, just a few red looming lamps and a black leather coach. "I have a drop for Fryer, and a new recruit." Mark whispered to the boy.
The boy glanced at me, and then looked back at Mark. "I'll get him." He stuttered a bit.
When the nervous boy stepped away I was able to see more clearly into the room. There was an old brown wooden table that was covered in poker chips. Sitting around were many men ranging from all ages. Before I was able to get a good look at anyone's face Fryer stepped in the way of my view.
He wasted no time extending his hand out to Mark. "Have my money?" He asked sharpy. Mark replied with a nod and handed a few small stacks from his inner coat pockets. Fryer eyed up the money and then handed it to the boy. "Count this." He ordered.
He was still wearing his thick sunglasses, but I could tell his eyes caught me. It was surprisingly hard to hold his gaze as he stepped towards me. The wood under his boots squeaked, and his hands closed into fists. He was wearing short leather gloves, and a leather vest. His fully tattooed arms were in clear display.
His arms were surprisingly long, they seemed to stretch as he extended one and grabbed my face. He closed the space between us and tilted my head around. "Yeah yeah yeah." He muttered to himself. "I remember you."
"He wants to join." Mark spoke.
"Yeah I'm sure he does." Fryer's gloves felt cold on my face, and his grip was a bit tight. I wanted to smack him off but I forced my restraint. "You're young." He grinned. "I like that." The eerie hallway light made his crowned teeth stand out though it duled his sunglasses reflection. Even so, I still saw myself. I was how small and far away I looked. I saw his hand on me, completely in control. I never felt threatened by this man at the party, but now I was at his home court, playing a game I didn't even know the rules to. "You told me you were sixteen, didn't you?"
I thought back to that night, I didn't remember my details but that seemed like something I would do. "Yes." I tried not to sound unsure of myself.
"You lied." He spoke quickly. "I don't like lying." His grip on me tightened a little.
"I'm fourteen." I knew it was my best option to say the truth and say it quickly.
He smiled, and patted my cheek before letting go. "Good boy." He continued to stare at me but rendered silent for a moment. "What's your name?"
"Curtis." That's what he knew me by before, and what I felt most comfortable telling him.
"Right right yeah." He muttered. "No relation to the Curtis-Shepard gang?"
I wasn't sure why he grouped mine and Tim's gangs but I couldn't ask that. "No." I told myself it wasn't a lie. I wasn't a part of the Shepard gang so I wasn't a part of some joint version of the two.
I couldn't tell if Fryer believed me. "Okay okay." He grabbed the back of my shirt and then opened the other door. "Stay here." He told Mark and then shoved me inside.
The room was small and square. It had a few fold up tables and chairs in the corner, and a nicer chair in the other. The room was dark until Fryer pulled on a small metal string that hung from a ceiling light bulb. "Sit." He ordered as he pulled a second string.
I sat in the only non folded up chair. "Yes sir." I said slowly, keeping my eyes on him.
"Oh, I like you already." He snapped his fingers and then pointed at me. "Not that I didn't like you before, but I just like you more. I could tell you're going to listen, and not going to cause me any trouble. Or are you?" He spoke in choppy sentences, making some fast and slurred together and others slowed down for effect.
"No sir." I felt like I was at a job interview well simultaneously being in the principal's office.
"Good." He crossed his arms and rocked back on his feet. "So Curtis, tell me. Why do you wanna be my new corner boy?"
I already knew the answer, respect, power. But I wasn't sure that's what he wanted to hear. "I just think it'll be fun." The words even tasted stupid as they came out of my mouth. I cringed when Fryer laughed.
He took his glasses off and leaned over to look me in the eyes. "I can promise you, this won't be fun."
I stood up suddenly, causing Fryer to take a step back and straighten himself. "I want power." It was no longer hard to hold his eyes. They were black and lifeless, and constantly shaking.
His face contorted itself into something spider-like. His grin was crooked and conniving. It was one that already had power but craved more. "I can make that happen." He told me and extended his arm and stocked my hair, gripping it tight in the back. "If you are willing to do what I say."
"I am." I said surly.
His smirk got wider and his other hand tugged at my hair as well. "You have a nice length, innocent and cute. Don't cut it, don't dye it."
"Yes sir." I said again. I let him examine me, but kept my eyes up on his face as he did.
Once he was satisfied, he let go and took a step back. "There is a meeting I must go to tonight, so you and Jennings will deliver the day's report to Bootsie."
I held back my grin. That was one of Darry's friends. Maybe I would figure out more about him. "Come back here tonight at twelve to get the report and find out where to take it."
"Yes sir. Thank you." I held out my hand for Fryer to shake it, which he did, but he had an amused look on his face.
"Don't thank me quite yet." His voice got quite low. "Do this job right, if you don't you won't thank me for what happens next."
I nodded in understanding. Surly delivering some files wasn't going to be that hard.
I was allowed to leave, and I filled Mark in. He said he would pick me up at eleven thirty and then we would drive over. The whole ordeal made my blood drain cold, but I liked it.
***
Later that night I was sitting at my desk doodling in my sketchbook while Soda was shoving all the clothes off the floor and into our closet.
"Lights out in ten." Darry said as he peaked his head into our room.
"Okay." Soda answered and then groaned as Darry walked over and sat on our bed.
"Come'er." Darry calmly told Soda. I lost track of what day of his bedtime spanking he was on. All I know is that he's been sleeping on his stomach for the past week.
"Pony get out." Soda told me sharply. I knew he obviously didn't like getting spanked, but that's no reason to snap at me when I didn't do anything.
"I'm not watching." I shrugged and continued to sketch.
"Darry!" Soda huffed.
"Come on bub just step outside for a second." Darry told me with the same calmness.
"I know what a spanking looks like. Besides can't you just do it in your room?" I glared at him sharply, making his eyebrows shoot up.
"I could take you to my room if you want." Darry offered, which was a hard threat.
I was going to challenge that, but I decided it was better to pick my battles. I got up with a dramatic huff and left the room. I closed the door behind me and waited outside. The bedtime spankings don't normally take more than a minute.
I heard muffled sounds of swats and small grunts from Soda. A minute later on the dot, it stopped. I didn't wait until Darry left, I just bursted into the room.
Soda was barely off of Darry's lap when I did. His eyes weren't even red, but he looked sore and annoyed to see me.
Darry gave me a small glare but I ignored them both. I walked over to my side of the bed and got under the covers.
I expected to be scolded but instead I was just ignored. "I'm heading off to work." Darry told us, but I think he was just talking to Soda. "Goodnight." He gave Soda a hug and disregard my presence. I'm not sure why I was in such a bad mood that night, or why every single action my brothers did pissed me off.
Darry hit the light and closed the door, leaving me in the pitch black, but not able to fall asleep.
I felt Soda settle in the bed and then felt his arm get thrown over me. "You okay?" He whispered.
His concern took me by surprise, I thought he was mad at me. I wanted to reassure him that I was fine but I instead shrugged and kept my back turned to him. "Okay." He said and removed his arm. "Goodnight."
I forced myself to stay up by counting the stars I saw at my window. Granted it only made me more tired, so when Soda was fast asleep I got out of bed and began pacing around the living room until an unfamiliar car pulled up to the house.
I knew it had to be Mark, in yet another stolen car. I got in and was greeted with his daring dangerous smile. "Tonight is going to be fun." He cracked up the radio and we sped off.
***
We eventually pulled back into the antique shop. The shop seemed closed and there were no cars in the parking lot. There was however, the same small blond boy sitting against the wall. He was smoking a joint and eating a large bag of M&Ms.
Mark and I approached him, though he didn't even acknowledge us. "Hey." I said quietly but I got no answer.
"You alive?" Mark kicked his shoe.
The boy's eyes made no movements, but his arm extended and he held out a manila envelope. "Bootsie will be at Charlie's Bar. He's expecting you." His stutter was still prominent even though he seemed more relaxed.
"Uh, okay." Mark snatched the envelope.
"Don't open it." The kid warned and popped a singular M&M into his mouth.
"Okay." Mark shot me a serious look and then gestured weirdly at the boy.
I could care less about his strange demeanor, I was absolutely distraught with the idea of going to Charlie's Bar. Darry was working, and there is no doubt in my mind he'd see me. "Let's go." Mark grabbed my arm and began pulling me back to the car.
"I can't go." I told him quickly.
"Why?" He snapped and got in the driver's seat.
"My brother is working at the bar tonight. He'll kill me if he sees me there." I explained, and Mark just laughed.
"That's a gas man." He chuckled. "This wouldn't happen to be the gang leader brother would it?"
"That's the one." I slumped into my seat.
"Bummer." We both stayed silent as he drove off. "I guess just stay in the car." He eventually said.
I huffed, not wanting to but knowing I had no other options.
We eventually pulled up to the bar. It was bright and blaring like normal. I was going to tell Mark not to park next to Darry's truck but I couldn't see it anywhere. It's not like there is separate parking for workers, and I couldn't spot it anywhere along the street. "What's up?" Mark questioned as he parked.
"I don't think Darry's here." I spoke quietly, not knowing how I felt about that. On one hand I can go inside and deliver the envelope like I'm supposed to, on the other, that means Darry lied about where he was going.
Mark studied my face for a moment. "That's good right?"
"I don't know." I said honestly. "Let's go." I jumped out of the car and took fast strides up to the door.
"Wait!" Mark called after me. "What if he actually is here?" I ignored him and pushed the glass door open.
No one paid attention to me, they were all drunk and in their own world. I looked around and didn't see my brother anywhere. There was a random guy buffing tables, and Charlie at the counter pouring a skanky girl a shot.
I strolled up to him and folded my arms on the counter. "Is Darry working?" I asked quickly. I felt my blood start to boil. I couldn't take it if I caught him in another lie.
Charlie finished pouring the shot and sliding it over to the girl before he even looked at me. His eyes ran me up and down and then his eyebrow raised. "No." He said simply.
Mark caught up and sat on a stool beside me. "Hey Char Char." He smirked. "Free beers?"
Charlie rolled his eyes, seemingly not amused. "Dragging another poor kid into your troubles Mark?" Charlie asked.
"Nah, he asked to be dragged in." Mark nudged me a little.
Charlie sighed and gave me a disappointed look. "You're Darry's kid brother?" He questioned. I didn't confirm or deny. Not wanting to dig my own grave. He only met me once before, maybe he forgot what I looked like. He accepted my silence as an answer and nodded. "What are you doing here?" He glanced between me and Mark.
"Business." Mark shrugged.
"Right." Charlie scoffed. "You ain't got Bryan wrapped up in your business do you?"
I saw the clear displeasure cross Mark's face at the mention of his friend. "Bryan's got himself wrapped up in some Cathy chick."
"Good for him." Charlie nodded.
"Whatever." Mark glanced around the bar and then sighed. "Bootsie's not here yet. I'm gonna go take a leak." He walked away, leaving me alone with the glaring Charlie.
"You're gonna tell Darry I was here, aren't you?" I asked with a hung head.
"No." Charlie shrugged. "What you do is none of my business. Besides, Darry works for me. I'm not required to tell him shit."
A smile immediately spread across my face. Though I could assume that meant he wouldn't be telling me where Darry actually is, if he even knows at all. "I got to ask though, why are you hanging around with Mark?"
I had no non self incriminating answer. "Why do you care?" There was no attitude in my voice, it was just a genuine question.
Charlie scrunched his face. He stayed silent, cleaning out a few glasses and putting them aside. "I saw Mark go from a care free kid who got kicks from stealing bubble gum, to well, who he is now."
"What's so bad about who he is now?" I kinda already knew the answer, I guess I just needed to hear it from someone else.
"He's going down a path he can't come back from." There was zero hesitation in his voice, I could tell he thought about this before. He probably even talked to Bryan about it. It seemed clear he wanted nothing to do with Mark's schemes. "From what Darrys told me about you, seems like you have a good future. Don't fuck it up with a few dumb decisions."
I tried to think of what Darry could have possibly told Charlie. Probably that I was a selfish, ungrateful, uncontrollable brat. But I didn't see how that could paint a picture of a bright future for me.
"There's your guy." Charlie gestured to the man who just walked in. It was definitely the same person who is at our house the night Darry got into the fight with Mr Butler. I just hoped he didn't remember me. Mark left the envelope on the counter so I scooped it up and took a step towards the man.
Charlie reached across the counter and grabbed my arm, forcing me to look back at him. His face was expressionless, but his eyes were soft. "Just remember, your choices affect more than just you." With that last sentence he let me go, though it was harder to make that step closer to Bootsie.
It did it though, I took each and every step even without Mark by my side.
The exchange was short, he said very little words to me, and never even cared to look me in the eyes. He clearly had no recollection of who I was, which I was grateful for. He dismissed me as soon as he had the files and his clutch.
I wanted to ask a million questions, but he turned his back to me and began talking with others. I probably wouldn't call them his friends nor his enemies. Not wishing to upset him or make a bad impression, I respectfully left him alone.
I waited by the bathroom until Mark came out, he seemed pleased that I took care of business by myself. After that he drove me home, singing at the top of his lungs to The Rolling Stones.
He pulled up to my house and I cranked the stereo down, not wanting to wake anyone up. "Meet me back at the shop tomorrow at noon." Mark said as I got out of the car.
"Next mission?" I asked eagerly.
He laughed and nodded. "Yeah sure."
I matched his laugh and hopped out. My smile immediately died though as I turned to see Darry's truck was here. Which meant Darry was here.
Mother fucking shit.
I was about to jump back into Mark's car and drive far far away, though he sped off just as fast as he pulled up. With no other options, I dragged my feet to the gate and up the porch. I already heard yelling, so I peaked in the window and listened for a minute.
Darry was fuming, pacing around the room and yelling at Soda. Two-Bit and Dally were there too, both leaning against the wall, looking both uncomfortable and nervous. Soda was taking the scolding like a little puppy. He was just standing there, hair a mess and clothes twisted. He clearly just woke up.
"How does he always manage to sneak past you? You share a goddamn bed for pete's sake!" Darry yelled. His voice was only barley muffled by the walls, or he was just yelling extremely loud.
I saw Soda's lips move but I couldn't hear what he said. Whatever it was, it didn't seem to appeal to Darry's anger. I hated seeing Soda get yelled at, especially when it was for something I did.
I moved my shaking hand to the doorknob and opened it. I heard the yelling stop before the door was even fully open. When it was, I was greeted by everyone staring at me blankly.
I didn't really know what to say, so I just stood there awkwardly. "Hey." I eventually muttered and gave a weak wave.
"Bloody idiot." Dally muttered and grabbed onto his hair in a huff.
"Well you're alive. That's good." Two-Bit added.
"Where you've been?" Soda asked desperately. He shook his head with disappointment but he didn't seem mad.
I didn't really pay attention to those three though. My eyes didn't stray from Darry, who was glaring silently at me. He didn't seem worried or even relieved to see me, just plain pissed off. It only took him two steps to get to me. He grabbed my forearm and lifted me onto my tippy toes. He still said nothing. The icy silence made the air go cold though no one dared to break it. "Explain." His voice stunned me from thinking of a good excuse. I felt frozen in his glare. "Answer me!" He screamed, making me try to pull away from him.
No one said anything or stepped in. I didn't look at them but I could imagine the pity looks they were giving me. I hated that this was happening, but more so in front of Dally and Two-Bit. Why were they even here? It had to be at least two in the morning.
"Now!" Darry yelled again.
I knew if I lied he would be able to tell, and that would just land me in more trouble. Though he shouldn't have been screaming at me when he was also somewhere he shouldn't have been. He lied about going to work so he didn't get to act all high and mighty. "Where were you?" I tried to pull away from his grip but I was weak from fear.
"What?" He gasped. "Work." He knew in that moment that I knew he was lying.
"No you weren't." I saw his confidence start to slip away. His grip loosened on me and I was able to push him off of me. "You lying bitch. Don't reprehend me for sneaking out and lying because those are your specialties." I was proud of myself for not yelling, though I made my anger prominent through my tone.
"What does Pony mean?" Soda asked suddenly. "You weren't at work?"
Darry glanced between the two of us, looking slightly panicked. "I was." He answered shakily.
"No you weren't stop lying!" I snapped.
He pointed a finger at me and tried to gather his voice. "You listen here boy, you don't get to talk to me like that. And my whereabouts are none of your concern."
My face scrunched red. All fear I had was replaced by anger and frustration. "Then neither are my whereabouts to you." I rebutled.
"You crossed the line one two many times tonight Ponyboy Michael." Darry grabbed the front of my shirt and shook me a bit.
"Let him go Darry." Soda told him calmly and took a few caution steps towards us.
"I only did what you did!" I yelled, knowing there was a good chance he was at that Meeting with Fryer.
"You have no idea what I did." He whispered, in a raspy and harsh way.
I tried pushing him off of me but he wasn't giving in this time. "I know you're a liar! You think it's bad that I sneak out? You think what I do is so criminal? Even if I don't know exactly what you're doing I know it's worse. So don't keep lying to my face, just fess up and tell me the truth for once! I don't care if you're older, you're not my parent and you're not a saint. You're a fuck up just like the rest of us!"
I wasn't nearly finished, though I was interrupted when he spun me around and landed a dozen quick, but sharp swats to my backside.
"Ah! Ow!" I yelled and then was able to pull away once he was done. I looked at the guys who were staring in utter disbelief. Yeah they knew we got spanked, but this was the first time they saw it in action. I felt a few mortified tears fill my eyes and blur my vision. Darry seemed unaffected by his actions. He stood there like a stone, with his arms crossed and a cold glare.
I felt one of the tears run down my cheeks. I refused to cry in front of the guys, I wouldn't be humiliated any more. I pushed past Darry and ran into my room, slamming the door and jumping face first onto my bed.
I heard Soda start yelling. I didn't hear him curse but the things he said weren't nice. I expected Darry to come storming after me, but Soda was seeming to keep him occupied. I didn't hear him yell back, but I also wasn't listening for it.
I shoved my head into my pillow and began sobbing. I was over everything and everyone in this family. I was over them treating me like a kid, disregarding me and not caring about my feelings.
I lifted my head from my pillow for a moment and stared out the window. I thought about how easy it would be to pack a bag and just leave. I could go to Johnny's or Curly's even, they might tell Darry though. Worst comes to worst I could sleep in the park. Though I would be asking to be jumped if I did that.
I pushed myself up a bit, about to actually grab a backpack but the door opened and I flopped back down. I wrapped my arms tightly around the pillow, not wanting to talk or be yelled at.
I felt the bed sink down next to me, though no one swatted, grabbed or began yelling at me. A hand grazed my back and began rubbing it gently. "You okay Ponyboy?" It was Soda, and his voice felt like a warm blanket.
"No." I cried harder. I turned myself and wrapped my arms around his waist while I laid on him and buried my head into his side.
He continued to stroke my back and he hushed me a little. "I'm sorry Pony. Darry shouldn't have done that."
"Why were Dally and Two-Bit even here?" My voice was so muffled by my tears and Soda's t-shirt that I'm surprised he even understood what I said.
"When Darry got home I told him you were gone. He called then to see if they knew where you were and when they said that they didn't they rushed over here." Soda explained. "We were all really worried."
"Did another nightmare wake you up?" I knew that had to be the only thing, Soda normally sleeps like a bag of bricks.
He nodded, not wanting to verbally confirm it. "I tried calling the bar, no one answered. Darry had the truck so it was kind of hard to go anywhere, I was debating what to do but he got home about ten minutes after."
I started feeling slightly guilty, not for Darry, but for Soda. I know he got a nasty screaming at, and for nothing that he did. "I'm sorry." I wept and gripped onto him tighter.
He leaned down and kissed the top of my head. "Where did you even go?"
I couldn't lie, I didn't want to. But I didn't want to tell the truth either. I just stayed there silently crying. "You know you'll have to tell Darry." Soda sighed.
I shook my head rapidly. There was no way that was happening. And no way he was spanking me either. I know he's stronger but he still had a hurt shoulder. I would kick and punch and fight until he gave up. "He wasn't at work, Soda. He lied again."
"Yeah." The disappointment was evident in his voice, though there was no surprise lingering.
The door opened, and Darry slowly walked in. I winced and buried my head further into Soda's side. "Ponyboy come here." Darry spoke firmly.
I began to cry harder, to the point where I was bawling. I made zero movements to get up, and neither did Soda. His arms wrapped around me protectively and even though I couldn't see it, I felt the glare he was giving Darry. "Get out." Soda said harshly.
Darry sighed, but didn't leave. "Dally and Two-Bit left. It's just us-"
"You should have waited to yell and do anything until after they left. You can't spank him in front of the gang! Some things are meant to be private and you know that!" Soda wasn't holding back. I knew his anger ran deeper than just this incident.
"I do." Darry admitted and stepped closer to us. "But-"
"Get out!" Soda told him again. "Now!"
I fully expect Soda to be ripped away from me and given the spanking of his life, but that didn't happen. There was a long silence, and then I heard heavy footsteps grow softer, then the door slammed shut. I peeked my head up and saw the Darry was gone.
I think that was the first time we ever won an argument. I left my cries settle down when I realized he wasn't coming back tonight. "Thanks." I muttered.
"You're welcome." Soda laid back and settled into the bed. "I'm not looking forward to the conversation tomorrow." He groaned.
I readjusted myself so slain flat but still cuddling next to him. "I won't let him punish me when he's in the wrong."
"Pony, you did sneak out. Don't forget that." Soda reminded me.
"I don't care. I'll leave before I let him spank me again." I was dead set on that too. I would run out that door the moment he lunged for me. With that thought I realized I'd probably be leaving the next morning. Anyone from my own gang would turn me in. So maybe Mark would let me crash with him. I would even go to Fryer if I was desperate.
"You don't mean that." Soda told me, though it was more of a question.
"Yeah." I muttered. "I do." He gripped me tighter but didn't say a word. He both closed our eyes and drifted off to sleep.
***
I always loved the morning air. It was light and brisk. The sky always looked beautiful shades of pink and gold, though I would normally sleep through those moments. Not that morning though. I was being shaken awake just as I thought I fell asleep.
I tried to push the hand off of me, but it wouldn't stop. When my eyes fluttered open I saw Darry crouching at the edge of the bed. His face was definitely not the first thing I wanted to see that morning. "Good morning bubu." He whispered. "Come on get up." He stood up and gestured for me to follow him.
I looked beside me at Soda who was passed out. I could only imagine Darry wanted to talk now so Soda wouldn't object to him punishing me. I didn't plan on letting that happen though. I quickly started trying to wake him up but the lack of sleep he got last night made it impossible to get him awake. Darry wrapped his arms under mine and pulled me out of bed. "Let him sleep." He said softly.
Before I had time to object, Darry had a grip on my wrist and was pulling me out of my room. I wasn't shoved into his though, he pulled me through the living room and surprisingly outside.
I glanced around for a shovel and a hole he dug to bury my body in, but nothing of the sort was in sight.
The cold air told me just how early it really was. Probably five, maybe six. Considering we didn't go to bed until three, I questioned if Darry went to bed at all.
He sat on the porch swing and pulled me onto his lap. He stared off into the distance, and I followed his gaze. "The sky is pretty. It's always my favorite at this time." He told me, without taking his eyes off of the rising horizon of pink l, blue, yellow, red and gold. You would think the whole sky was painted by a rainbow. There was a small fog that lingered, and the morning dew laid thick on the grass.
I took my eyes off of the sky and up at him. "You look at the sky?" I thought the only things Darry ever looked at were bills, beer and my grades.
He chuckled and bounced me on his leg. "More than you know." I sighed and scooted myself off of him and on the swing. "Too cool to sit on my lap?" He nudged me.
"Too old." I said flatly. He hummed as a response.
We sat in silence for a few minutes. The birds were oddly quiet that morning. The wind however wasn't. It would run laps, hitting us every once in a while. I wished to join it, to fly away from my impending doom that I knew was coming.
It would be more than easy to run away now, but there was something odd about this calm that told me to stay.
"I'm sorry." Darry finally said. He still didn't look at me though. I was too shocked to answer, so I just stared at him with wide eyes. "I shouldn't have spanked you in front of Dally and Two-Bit."
It was nice to hear, but I honestly cared more about his lying. I guess I just didn't want to know that he was a part of the city wide drug business. That was one hell of a secret, one I don't think I could get over if proven true.
"You're right. I wasn't at work last night." He finally admitted. "I was out, I had a date." A small smirk spread in his face, and the morning sun rise made his admiring eyes glow.
"A date?" I repeated. He dated before, and he's always been open with that fact. It wasn't like him to hide somthing like that. "If that's true why did you lie about it?"
He nodded, like he expected that question. "This wasn't our first date. I've been seeing her for a little while. But I didn't want to bring another change into your life when it's constantly being flipped all over the place. I just wanted you to settle for a bit."
The thought of Darry with a serious girlfriend was a weird image in my mind. I don't think he's ever gone more than a second date with a girl, so to know that he might be going steady was definitely a change. But it wasn't bad, just different. "You could have told me." I said, though my voice was less steady.
"I just didn't want you to worry. Or to feel like I was leaving you for a girl. Because that would never happen. You're my first priority." He made sure to look me straight in the eye when he said that. I darted mine down though, trying to process that he did indeed lie, but not about anything nearly as bad as I thought.
Him with a girlfriend didn't seem bad at all actually. Maybe it would be better for him, maybe he would loosen up and be happier. "Tell me about her." I tried to smile.
He laughed and leaned back into the swing more. "Her name is Nancy." His gaze floated away, as if into a memory of her. "She is strong and confident with every single step she takes and every single word she says. She has hair like the midnight sky and eyes like the ocean waters. She makes me second guess every move when I'm around her. But she makes everything more fun."
I couldn't help but smile at the way he talked about this girl. "You like her?" I muttered.
"Yeah Pony." He laughed. "I like her."
Silence was washed back over us, but only for a moment. "I'm sorry." I muttered. I guess I kind of jumped to hasty conclusions and took it out on him harshly.
"No, don't apologize." Darry dismissed me. "I messed up bad. I need to control my temper." He wrapped his arm around me and I didn't fight it. "So I'm not going to ask where you were or what you were doing last night."
"Really?" I basically gasped.
He shot me with an amused but slightly stern expression. "Yeah. But clearly you're out doing something you weren't supposed to."
"I wasn't-" I automatically tried to lie.
"Don't say anything." I said quickly. "Don't lie to me." He practically begged. "I'm not going to ask, just don't do it again. Okay?" His voice was desperate and I was ready to say anything to get out of a punishment.
"Okay." I agreed, and then we accepted a comfortable silence.
You would think after everything I would have kept my word and not gone back, but I did. Time and time again. Each time I went the more I liked it and the more they liked me. At the time I was only nervous about Darry finding out. I was scared of him being mad but not scared of anything else. If only I knew what I was really getting myself into....
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A/N: Thanks for reading another chapter!
Word Count: 8603