A/N: before I break your hearts again, I now realize that this is the second-to-last chapter of the Shattered Mind series. So unfortunately, your hearts will crack- twice. Now onto the story before y'all kill me.
***
Far away from the Jedi Temple, Ahsoka Tano couldn't hide her tears. She'd felt Anakin's horror. Undoubtedly, he had discovered her absence.
There was no going back.
As she wandered into a nearby mall, her eyes flitted across the items on display in the large shop windows.
The girl's stomach howled in protest as the vivid scent of fresh food floated into her nostrils.
There are so many options! Why won't you get anything? You need nutrients to survive! Her digestive system argued.
Food does sound like a great idea, she agreed. Maybe I will buy something if I fit my requirements today.
Ahsoka glanced down at her body, analyzing every square centimetre, her brain automatically finding the countless imperfections Kyrena and her henchmen had pointed out.
Too much fat here. Not enough muscle there. Waistline not thin enough.
Food won't be giving me any more health problems today, Ahsoka decides. It's only been around a month since I last ingested lipids, and as a result, I'm overweight. I won't wander far from this mall, so I will return if I ever need food.
Her body cried out in pain from the vast lack of nutrition. Her stomach continued to protest, her legs began to wobble and her black spots waltzed in her vision. Despite it all, she ignored the burning sensation. Pain is a weakness. In Ahsoka's mind, she was on the right track. Soon, she would have the body she desired.
***
"Ahsoka?" Anakin called frantically. "Where are you? Come out of hiding, th-this is not funny!" His voice cracked.
In the depths of his mind, he knew she wasn't hiding. Anakin flung open her closet, expecting — desperately hoping — to see her possessions inside. She had left. She was gone without a trace.
Not a single shirt remained; it was as if his little sister had never even stepped foot into this bedroom. "Ahsoka?" Anakin called again, "where are you?"
Instead of a response, the Force blared. Snippets of a disturbing vision plagued his mind.
You could barely hear her sobbing. Each word Ahsoka's pen scratched into the page tore her heart apart. As each teardrop hit the paper, only the words "I'm sorry. Anakin, I'm so sorry," spilled out from the Togruta's mouth.
The closet was all but forgotten as the Knight staggered over to her desk, the connection only getting stronger.
Ahsoka's thin frame continued to shake with silent waves of anguish as each word stabbed another stake into her already torn heart.
Anakin got a better view of what she was writing in. A black, hard-cover journal. He stopped focusing on his daughter's disillusioned state of mind, instead beginning to analyze her surroundings. A carry-on bag had already been packed, and the room was identical to how he'd seen it upon entrance.
Ahsoka signed her name at the bottom with a flourish before setting down the pen. Wiping her eyes hastily, she took one final look at the room before hopping quietly out of the open window.
A thought suddenly dawned on the Knight. The Force was clearly trying to show him something, it had shown him this scene for a reason! All he needed to was to find his Padawan's journal.
***
Ahsoka walked down a dark alleyway, trying to locate a place where she could spend the night. The Force had told her that this was the safest route- she doubted it, based on her surroundings- but from the tender age of three, the Togruta had been taught to trust it, no matter what.
So that's exactly what she did.
The alleyway dragged on forever. It was a damp place, foul-smelling garbage dumps everywhere, stray loth cats and vicious mice scampering around in the shadows. Ahsoka didn't like it one bit.
Where are you taking me?
Trust in me, young one. You will be safe once you arrive.
The teenaged girl had no way to know, but this was not the Force guiding her. Little did she know, Ahsoka Tano was walking right to her death.
***
Back at the Temple, Anakin Skywalker was in pieces. The indescribable agony coursing through his veins shattered him with every word he forced himself to read.
My dearest Skyguy,
I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for being a failure, for not being good enough for you. I'm sorry that I stayed in your life for so long when it was clear that you wanted nothing to do with me.
Time seemed to freeze in its tracks. Anakin felt himself collapse onto his knees as his shoulders slowly began to shake violently. Locks of his silky, chocolate brown locks swept over his face. His bottom lip trembled, desperately trying to keep his emotions under control.
I know I'm worthless in your eyes, I don't understand why you took me under your wing for so long. Why you even bothered to take care of me, look out for me, when I clearly have no future as a Jedi, was beyond my wildest dreams.
For the first time since his mother died, Anakin sobbed. He allowed his tears to run down his cheeks, splattering the paper as his heart clenched violently at every word that he read. This was how his beloved sister felt about being under his tutelage.
I'm sorry that I failed you, Master. But you'll be happier without me. I can't bear to hurt you any longer. I am nothing but a burden and will gladly erase myself from your life. You deserve to be happy.
Anakin didn't even sense Obi-Wan rush into his quarters.
I hope you continue to thrive in the Jedi Order, where you belong. I truly appreciate all that you've done for me, even though I don't deserve any of your kindness.
His vision blurred, unable to stop the overflow of emotions.
I love you, Anakin. You were the big brother I never had, you were the only person who truly understood me. But I betrayed that trust. I've failed you. I am unworthy of all the effort you've put into teaching me, yet, you gave it your all. Thank you for that. I hope everything works out in the future; you deserve the world.
May the Force Always be With You.
With love,
Ahsoka Tano.
The journal fell out of Anakin's shaking hands with Obi-Wan held his grieving apprentice close.
***
Where am I? the Togruta wondered curiously, glancing around. She had finally made her way out of the dingy alleyway, onto a street. But this new location wasn't any better.
Do not worry, child, the Force answered. Walk forward, and you will see your destination.
Ahsoka obeyed; tapping out of it, she just missed the vital change. The supposedly pitch black Force morphed into the scheming features of a certain politician- one who had quite the interest in Anakin.
***
"- she wrote it to me! Now- now she's gone," Anakin whispered hoarsely to the assembled Council. He turned to he shimmering, blue hologram versions of Rex and Padmé, listening intently in horror.
"Captain, send out all teams of your best men and find her. I want her back safe and sound!"
"Skywalker, stop."
Anakin ground his teeth in frustration. "Yes, Master Windu?"
"You must trust in the Force. It will eventually reunite you with Padawan Tano. I sense you have formed an attachment. They are dangerous, and to be avoided at all costs. If this cannot happen, then I am afraid Ahsoka will be reassigned to a new Master."
***
Anakin didn't even try to hide his fury as he paced up and down before his friends."Did you hear what Windu said?" He snarled. "My Padawan is missing, and he chooses this time to lecture me about attachments? Cold, insensitive bastard!"
"Calm down, Anakin," Obi-Wan told him, laying a comforting hand on his apprentice's shoulder. "That was indeed heartless, and we will find Ahsoka. Do not worry."
"Rex, dispatch all your best men into teams. Find her."
"Yes, General!"
"Obi-Wan, do the same with the 212th. Divide Cody and his best men into teams and do a careful sweep over all of Coruscant; she's still here, I know it!"
"Master Jedi," Padmé said, "I will make a speech in my upcoming senate meeting. I have time to prepare it, and we will find Ahsoka. Have faith." Senator Amidala smiled faintly at her husband before she, too, left.
Little did they know, this event would soon change all of their lives for the worst.
***
A/N: Last part soon. Promise.
Also
I have a level 10 Harmony (advanced music theory) exam in two days and I'm freaking out. I still have questions and I don't have much time left 😭😭
Anyways.
Cya next update. If I survive this exam.
- Jazzy