"Veil after veil of thin dusky gauze is lifted, and by degrees, the forms and colours of things are restored to them, and we watch the dawn remaking the world in its antique pattern."― Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Gray
It was early in the morning. The rays of the sun were making their way to the earth illuminating everything with a golden glow, sending darkness back to the shadows.
Kathalina woke up disoriented and sick. She sat up her head pounding, her throat parched and a deeply unsettling feeling inside her. A glass of water was placed near her lips and she drank from it thirstily the hand holding the glass ever so tightly and her hands wrapped around his.
Silence stood between them like a brick wall. She didn't forget what happened last night. She came to him in desperation and only got heartbroken. She knew exactly why she was furious, furious at him, furious at herself. He was not hers and yet she couldn't fathom letting him go.
She knew everything in her brain was irrational. Her fear of losing him when he was never hers, the anger that threaten to burst at him when she had no right, everything she felt for him at that moment which was born from the love was irrational and she hated every bit of it.
"How are you feeling?" He asked softly.
She didn't answer. She knew if she open her mouth the only thing pouring out will be poison. He didn't say anything else. They sat together in silence, waging wars in their minds till the day was bright as a sun.
A knock on their door halted the train of their thoughts. William opened the door for his butler to enter and present a lavish breakfast.
"My Lord, my lady," He said, "There was a carriage waiting outside the estate the entire night."
Kathalina's heart sank, fear gripping her, the images of last night in her study flashing through her eyes. She clutched the sheets tightly. William had a foreboding feeling. He cursed himself once again.
"We brought the driver inside. He said he is her ladyship's driver," He continued.
Kathalina relaxed visibly, letting a deep sigh. She forgot to send her driver away last night, it seems to be working in her favour. She should go back home because she couldn't stay here any longer. She didn't even raise her head up to look at his face for she knew she will lose all control and let everything in her heart explode.
But she had to keep in mind, that he was nothing to her. He was her father's rival and she was no one to him.
"Thank you," She spoke up, "Please ask him to get ready to leave."
Kathalina got down from the bed making her way to the door to leave. Her head was still low, her eyes averted from his.
"I have asked to send your driver away," He said after a brief moment.
"I need to go home. My parents will be worried," She said monotonously. Her words jabbed him in the gut.
"Your parents are not back in London yet," He replied.
Kathalina looked up at him vehemently. The anger flaring inside her eyes made him take a step back.
"Are you spying on my family?" She asked her teeth clenched, restraining the anger.
"Noo," He said a bit frightened, "I am not. I am not spying on your family or you."
"How do you know my family is out of London?" She asked her anger dripping from her words.
"I," He sighed, sitting on a settee. He looked tired from the lack of sleep. He looked at her with pleading eyes asking her to understand but Kathalina had long ago closed her heart, all she could see was red.
He knew she will not understand. She was clouded by anger and rightly so.
"I couldn't help it," He said defeated. A moment of silence passed between them.
Kathalina made a move towards the door.
"Don't go," He said earnestly, "Please."
"I am sorry," He continued, "I couldn't help myself from knowing about you. I couldn't keep myself away from you. I am sorry."
Kathalina in all her rage understood what he was saying because she felt the same way till last night. She was in love till last night and now she was only a fool in love.
"Why?" She asked impulsively.
She had asked a forbidden question. She was torn if she wanted him to answer or not because this will change everything between them. Her heart wished for him to say those three sinful words but her mind knew it will mix like poison and kill her slowly.
The words were at the tip of William's tongue. The words she wanted to hear and he wanted to speak out loud.
"I," He said. Kathalina braced herself.
"I don't know," He said instead.
Kathalina heaved a breath of relief and sat down on the bed, her back facing him. She was surprised at herself, she didn't understand herself. She wanted to hear something else but a weight lifted from her heart when he said something else.
They knew what was in each other's hearts. They knew they can't have what they wanted. It was better to live in an illusion than to bare their heart with each other knowing fully well it will only bring them sadness.
Slowly, Kathalina's anger was replaced by sadness. She still wanted to know who that woman was last night, but it was not her place to ask.
"How about breakfast, my lord? I am famished," She said with a heavy heart.
He shut his eyes tightly at her words. She accepted their fate and she was letting him go, it was his turn to truly let her go. But he couldn't bring himself to do that. He wanted one last chance to challenge their fate.
"The woman you saw last night," He started.
"I don't want to hear it," She interrupted him.
"She was my mistress," He continued.
"I said I don't want to hear it," She shouted, tears in her eyes.
"I had not visited her for a long time. I sent a missive to dismiss her, she came to woo me last night," He continued, hating himself even more.
"You are hurting me," She said through her tears.
"I was asleep when she arrived," He continued, his words stabbing his own heart, "Nothing happened between us. I promised to pay her compensation and let her have the estate till she finds a new lover. She didn't touch me, I didn't even let her near me."
"Stop," She said sobbing, her face in her palms.
William sat on the ground in front of her.
"Kate," He whispered, "Please forgive me."
He touched her hands gently for he didn't know if he should even be in her presence. Kathalina knew fate was mocking her but she can't do anything.
She looked at him teary-eyed and smiled. William hung his head low with shame, tears prickling in his eyes. She placed a soft kiss on his forehead. They held each other hands tightly.
A knock sounded on his door, both of them scrambling away from each other, subtly wiping away the tears.
"Enter," William ordered.
"My lord," His footmen said out of breath.
"What is wrong?" William asked alert.
"It's Lady Hannah," He said between his breath, "Lord Oliver is in King's council, we are unable to reach him."
"Where are mother and father?" He asked worriedly.
"They left for Raymond yesterday," He answered. "Lord Sebastian and Lord Nick are nowhere to be found. Please hurry to the Kentshire manor."
"Ready my carriage, and send for the doctor at once," He ordered.
William walked back to Kathalina as soon as they were alone. He held her face in his hands.
"Please wait for me," He pleaded.
"No," Kathalina refused, "I am coming with you."
"Kate, I can't take you to Kentshire manor, not in this attire," William said seriously.
"Give me your tailcoat. I think someone in your estate will have trousers my size," She said thinking rapidly.
"Kate," William said, making Kathalina look at him with narrowed eyes.
"I will ask to find clothes for you right away," He said gulping making her smile.
William felt at peace. Even if he couldn't have her in his life, he wouldn't want anyone else to have his heart.
He could happily let her go with his heart.
-------------------------------------------------
If you like this chapter please vote, comment and share.