At least that's what I thought.
It was night when I awoke. The starless sky shrouded the landscape in pure darkness, turning the many beauties of mother Nature into shadowed silhouettes. I noticed there was a warm presence to the left of me, pressing against my scales with a soft, pleasant coo. Even in the shallows of the night I could see her pink hide glimmer like moondust in my eyes, and the salty scent she offered made my nostrils widen between every inhale and exhale.
Strangely enough, as soon as my neck raised, her eyes opened, and she turned to me with a soft whimper of worry.
"Another nightmare?"
I looked down at her, gaping my beak as if bound to speak, then sighed in defeat. It wasn't just my past that felt this worry, I did as well. The memory had control of itself, but I could feel every emotion surge inside me like a broken vessel of sorts. Livia looked over to the herd from afar, turned to the forest to the right where a smoking mountain stood, then turned back to me.
"Is it about the herd?"
I shook my head and closed my eyes, "I don't know what it is, Livia."
"You haven't been sleeping well," she sighed, licking my chin, "Ever since the tournament months ago, you've been stressed. And you haven't said a word."
"Maybe that's what I am. Stressed."
"Ah... There's nothing to stress over, I promise you," Livia urged quietly, "Look... we're going to be okay. We all will. Don't ponder what has yet to come, sillyhorns. You're doing great."
I bowed my head, looking down at her underbelly and swallowed. She carried my clutch now, six wonderful eggs in her swollen chest, but rather than give me the joy any father needed, it brought me fear. I didn't want to lose her, now and more than ever. And, now that I was herd leader, I didn't want to make a mistake that could cost her life. Livia followed my gaze, looking at her belly and purred.
"It won't be long now," she purred softly, "Just a couple moons, that's all."
I smiled, nuzzling her cheek briefly and sighed, "I think that's what worries me."
"The eggs?"
I nodded, "I still think I'm not good enough. I promised Thistlehorn this position, and yet I took it from him. I feel guilty for... leading him astray. Lying even."
"Well, what do you think you should do about it?"
"I don't know..." I trailed off suddenly, feeling a strange feeling sink over my mind. An instinct, if you will, a primal warning. Livia sensed it too, her claws flexing out wide and flesh rippling against me, like goosebumps. The two of us began to whirl our heads about, expecting a predator to be hiding in the shadows.
Never did we consider looking down at the ground.
A strange growl began to rise around us, almost similar to the gurgles of an empty stomach. The earth began to crack and shiver around us, and like that of an ocean small waves began to show in the distance, pushing the land up, and down. I didn't feel it at first, thinking that the horizon was merely shaping form from a heatwave, as always. But as soon as the wave passed by, a sharp tremor shot through my underbelly, making my stomach writhe as our bodies were rocked.
"Livia-?!"
Livia's eyes bulged, "I feel it too..."
"Everybody get up, get up now!" I growled loudly as the ground began to bulk beneath us, all until the whole entire land mass slammed down, throwing me to the earth hard. I shakily stood back up, the earth now twisted jelly beneath my claws, and in fear let out a huge roar, alerting the others. The whole herd scrambled to their feet, perplexed by the madness occurring beneath them and screeched in fear. The land bulked again, tossing me to the earth with another violent crash, and I groaned, unable to process what was happening. I found Livia nudging me to my feet, growling in concern at my fall only to fall silent as her face went stone cold.
I followed her gaze, staring down at the smoking mountain and gasping frightfully upon seeing a massive plume of smoke shooting into the sky. What followed was a strange glowing liquid spilling from it's roof, and the loudest two roars I've ever heard. I grimaced when the first struck, forcing my ears to ring, and just as quickly the second one deafened everything, just for a moment. I noticed Livia shouting in my ears, but I was too shocked to even answer. As soon as the noises all around me returned to normal, I turned to her, now attentive and alert.
"Where do we go?!"
I stared down from the volcano to the shaking ground, trying to think, and looked toward a massive high rise in the earth overlooking a river. It wasn't the best of spots, but in case an ash flow were to form, or a crack in the earth, it was the best of spots. A cave would crush us, and the open land would devour us whole. This had to be the best of spots.
"Up."
I let out a massive roar to the herd behind me and began to lumber forth, helping Livia along the way. It was hard to trek against moving land, and at times we'd trip and stumble from the strongest of ripples. Another massive glow of orange shot into the sky afar, and just as I figured a huge flow of ash began to thunder downhill, but in a different direction. My pace slowed as I watched the avalanche topple to the far right of the mountain, crushing the trembling forest at its base and killing off any and all life that sought refuge in that area. Even though we were now safe from the mountain's wrath, it was best to stay out of harm's way, just for goodness sake.
It didn't take long before the whole group reached the area unharmed, lowering onto their underbellies just to feel the world shake. I did the same with Livia, pressing against her and wrapping my tail around hers as we rode out the earthquake. The sky was ablaze with molten fire, and just above the smoke purple lightning spasmed in the sky, turning the graceful night into a charisma of beauty and fear. The volcano reigned supreme across the entire land, and even as the quake began to cease it's rage continued to fight on.
I watched the ground shake slightly, giving out it's last bits of energy before ceasing entirely and relaxed my muscles with a thankful exhale. Livia sighed as well, bowing her head in thanks, then turned to me with an amused look on her face.
"Told ya you were doing great," Livia snorted, licking my cheek in praise and sighed, "You alright?"
"Yes," I nodded softly, smiling down at her in agreement, "I'm alright. Hold on, let me check the herd."
It took me a minute to stand properly. Even though the quake ceased I could still feel the rocking motion in my own body, and my point of balance was completely offset. Livia eventually helped me, to which I thanked her with a soft tender lick upon the snout. Turning about, I faced the herd, strolling through the ranks of three-horns and investigating each and every member, young to old. For the most part they all looked well, thanking me for the quick action, given that the place we had just slept in was now a deadly mud pit of misery.
As I neared the edge of the herd, a strange fear began to crawl over me. There was a three-horn I hadn't seen for some odd reason, and as I walked back through the herd for the second time I realized I hadn't seen him again.
"Thistlehorn?"
I looked over the high rise, then back through the herd a third-time, sniffing for his scent.
It was dry.
"Where's Thistlehorn?"
Most of the herd members shook their heads, unsure what I was asking, and others simply stared, blank and confused entirely. I took a heavy swallow, stomping to the ends of the herd and kept walking, right back to where we had just slept. The ground was moist here, churning and oozing with warm mud, and as I scrambled into the darkness, a new terror began to arise.
"Thistlehorn?!" I roared out, spinning my horned head about, "Brother! Are you here?"
I drew my front paws back before they could sink into the mud and rounded the wide pit toward the forest, making out the same panicked roar. Nothing returned. I set my eyes back on the darkness before me, circling the area as carefully as I could and let out another pained roar, already imagining something terrible.
Was he in the pit? Was it under it? Did he run off? Did he fall?
Where is he?
No, no-
Livia's footsteps sounded behind me, noticing my panicked state and frowned, "What's wrong?"
"I-I can't find him..." I stammered, letting out another roar, and doubled back to the other side of the pit, "I can't find Thistlehorn!"
"I don't see him," Livia swallowed, sniffing the air, "I don't smell him either. Do you think-"
"No! No, no, he can't be. I won't lose him too, not after Mother and Father..." I whimpered, shaking as I faced the edge of the pit. I felt my heart beginning to tremble, already imagining the impossible.
'He's down there.'
And without even thinking straight, I plowed into the murky swamp, splashing and digging into its depths. I heard Livia let out a distress call, trying to urge me back, but all I could focus on was Thistlehorn. All that mattered at this moment was his precious life.
But perhaps I should've considered mine.
As soon as I began swimming, a strange pull began to tug at my body. The further I pushed, the stronger it became, and for some strange reason the strength inside me began to fail entirely. I narrowed my eyes and huffed through my beak, but it was starting to become useless. More frantic roars and whimpers sounded from behind me, and I couldn't understand why.
But halfway across the massive pit, I began to understand her concern.
I gurgled, feeling the weight of the pit beginning to suck at my underbelly and gasped, noticing the rear of my body was sinking fast. I tried to keep my head above the mud, but gravity seemed to turn on me entirely. The earth began to drag me down, grasping my tail tight under the churning mud, until I was entirely upright. As soon as my snout began to take in the soil, panic erupted through my mind, and I gasped.
"Thistle- erg!"
I choked, trying to raise my snout and wheezed against the thickened mud. I felt the soft soil beginning to sink into my lungs and gurgled, trying to fight back, only to sink deeper.
"Get out of there!"
"Erg! Gah! Ah!"
I let out a pained scream, seeing the world darken as the mud flushed over my eyes. As soon as it pushed over my snout, an explosion of pain shot into my lungs. I tried to breathe, but nothing came. I tried to scream, but no sound was made. I writhed and strained against the earth, feeling the world darken into an endless abyss.
I didn't imagine myself suffocating to death. The strain of the earth felt just like water, but every action seemed to do the opposite of its counterpart's intention. I shook, gurgled, and groaned under the shallows, helpless to fight back.
I... can't... hold... it...
My lungs were screaming as they took in the darkness. I felt myself flashback to that moment in the lake when I was drowning, and there was nothing I could do to surface. All I needed was a miracle, a Livia.
And to no surprise, Livia was exactly what I needed.
A sharp beak snapped around my frill, and a muffled whoosh of mud slipped past my ears. I was losing consciousness for the meanwhile, but I could tell something was happening, something worthwhile. I couldn't see what it was, unfortunately, since the moment my head escaped the shallows, I blacked out entirely.
And awoke on hard ground.
I took in a deep breath and coughed hard, painfully spurting out the mud from my chest and bowed my head, still distorted by what had happened. I noticed Livia, now soaked in mud, was licking my cheek repeatedly, rousing me back to consciousness and exhaled with relief as soon as I breathed. She gave me a brief nuzzle before snorting in anger.
"You idiot! Mudpits are the same exact thing as quicksand, you could've died! Why did you...?!" She trailed off, noticing my eyes beginning to water and I dropped my head in shame.
"It's all my fault," I whispered. Livia parted her beak, moving toward me slowly and tilted her head.
"Don't say that."
"I... I messed everything up... I knew I would... And now-"
"No you..." Livia shook her head, "You didn't."
I buried my head into my arms, beginning to weep, "I just let him... die..."
Livia swallowed hard as I whimpered, laying by my side and pressed against me. But no amount of comfort was going to fix the loss I had just suffered today. I was the leader of the herd. I was responsible for Thistlehorn's death. And only I was to blame for it because I never checked.
No... I didn't care.
I closed my eyes, shedding a few more tears as we embraced each other, and shook. Her actions were helping plenty, but in retrospect to the given moment it wasn't going to make much difference. I sniffled, taking in one last second of our heat and stood up.
Livia watched me, immediately concerned upon seeing my soulless face and swallowed, "Wait... Are you sure?"
I stared at the ground for a moment, then let my eyes trickle over to the mudpit where I lost my best friend. A twist of regret began to build inside me as I studied the place where I lost my brother, straining to find one last bit of hope for his existence. But all I saw was darkness. In this blackness of the night, that strand of hope slipped away. And all that remained was anger.
"We have to keep going..." I wheezed, my voice now a faint and hollow shell of who I once was, "We can't stay here, Livia."
"I know but..." she stood next to me, "You just lost someone, and you're just going to-"
"I shouldn't be mourning anyway..." I hissed slightly, eying her briefly, "There's no point. They matter first."
"You do, too." she whispered.
"No... I don't."
I felt pity against the words I just said, almost as if they weren't my own. I gave Livia one broken stare, then walked forward to the waiting herd. My eyes were cracked, red and swollen, but I narrowed them anyways, hiding my pain from the rest of them. They couldn't see that in me, I couldn't afford to show it.
They needed me to be strong. To be a leader.
I had to move on.
I let out a roar as soon as I reached the front with Livia trailing from the back, clearly scared that I was acting so strange, but sighed, following along with the order. And with a hopeless sigh, I paraded the herd through the river and toward the other side of the mountainous region.