Sa kalagitnaan ng tulog ko bigla na lang akong nagising. Tinignan ko ang wall clock na nasisinigan ng maliwanag na buwan at alas tres palang ng madaling araw, tanging ang paghinga ko lang at mahinang halinghing ni Vraxx ang maririnig. Hinaplos-haplos ko ang braso niyang nakayakap sa tiyan ko at dahan dahan na humarap sa kaniya. Wala sa sarili akong napangiti at marahan kong inilapat ang palad ko sa pisnge niya.
"My Vraxx." I whispered as I traced his face with the tip of my fingers. "I'm so sorry." Maingat kong inalis ang braso niya na nakapatong sa tiyan ko at dahan dahan akong bumangon at umalis sa kama. Ilang segundo ko pa siyang pinagmasdan bago ko napagdesisyonang lumabas ng kwarto.
I hugged myself as soon as I got out the villa, my hair danced with the cold breeze, buti na lang naka sweatpants and sweatshirt ako. I walked towards near the ocean and sit beside it, right just wear the waves couldn't reach me. Niyakap ko ang tuhod ko at pagkatapos ay ipinatong ko ang baba ko rito. I stared at the bright moon and listen to the calming waves of the ocean.
Sa makalawa uuwi na kami at hanggang ngayon hindi ko parin alam kung paano ko sasabihin sa kaniya lahat. This guilt that I am feeling is so close of killing the hell out of me, before I could only feel happiness out of selfishness but now? Sadness over guilt. Vraxx is just so pure and I think I just can't stand to see him hurting especially now that everything is getting better for the both of us. I let out a deep sigh.
"Sana hindi na lang ako binuhay tangina ang hirap." Isiniksik ko ang mukha ko sa pagitan ng tuhod at dibdib ko at tahimik na umiyak.
Throughout this vacation I've been carrying this stupid load of pain inside me. If only I could tell everything to him it wouldn't be this heavy for me. Lahat ng emosyon na meroon ang mundong ito ay dala-dala ko lahat. Yung saya, yung kalungkotan, yung takot na lahat gawa ng puot. Hirap na hirap na ako, gusto ko nang umuwi at taposin ang lahat ng ito.
"I'm so sorry, Vraxx." I whispered. Hoping that he'll hear it.
"Dapat sa kaniya mo yan sinasabi hindi sa sarili mo." Saad ng pamilyar na boses na ikinatigil ko. Iniangat ko ang mukha ko at tinignan ito, pretente siyang umupo sa tabi ko at nakangiting tiningala ang buwan. He seems so carefree. "Here, dry your tears. Baka pati ako maiyak." Agad ko namang kinuha ang panyo niya at pinunasan ang namamasa kong pisnge at mata.
"What are you doing here, Nicholas?" Kung kanina ay di ako sigurado kung siya yung nakita ko, ngayon ay siguradong-sigurado na ako.
"I'm here because someone wanted to be here." Makahulogan niyang usal at unti-unting humupa ang kaninang malaki niyang ngiti. "She can easily made me do things, I will literally let myself be a slave for her." Mahina siyang natawa.
"I'm confused." I stated, he looked at me with a little smile. This Nicholas is so different from the Nicholas I met at the club before.
"Gaya ni Lucifer, meroon din akong katulad mo." Saad niya na bahagya kong ikinagulat. Akala ko pagala gala lang siyang demonyo.
"Asan na siya? I want to meet her." Maybe I can tell her my troubles because we're kinda in the same phase.
"She's..." Umiwas siya ng tingin at muling tiningala ang buwan. "She's now free, Satana. Iniwan niya na ako." Malungkot niyang usal at itunuro ang buwan pero nang tignan ko ang dereksyon ng itinuturo niya ay agad akong naluha.
"She's beautiful." It was like a broken burning pieces of paper that's slowly fading away and flew with the wind. It's like the wind is trying to get her to the moon.
"Yes she is." He let out a sad chucked. "She's now free from the burden and pain. Malaya na siya sa mundong walang ginawang mabuti sa kaniya. She deserves the world but the world doesn't deserve someone like her."
I looked at him, and I adored the way his eyes sparkles as he watched her flew with the wind. It's amazing how our eyes can spark in two different aspects. It sparks when we watched our love ones in so much happiness, but isn't it ironic that it also sparks when we watched them fade in our eyes.
"You love her." Mahina kong usal. This time ay muli niya akong tinignan.
"Yes, I do love her. Mula noon hanggang ngayon wala akong ibang hiniling kundi ang makasama siya hanggang sa oras na ito." He sighed. "Nauna siyang napunta sa underworld kaysa sayo at nauna rin siyang nakalabas. She did a great flight, Satana, and I will forever admire that."
"Alam niya ba na mahal mo siya?" I just wanted to know.
"Of course." Straight forward niyang saad. "But she didn't want us to be so attached to each other because she knows it'll be downfall for the both of us."
"She's really strong and smart woman." Nakangiti kong bulong.
Nilingon ko ang karagatan at nagpakawala ng hangin. Sana ganoon din ako katapang at katalino. Nakakinggit kung paanong naging madali sa kaniya ang lahat. Everything became easy for her because she didn't let anything to be complicated.
"Bakit mag-isa ka dito?" Now he's asking.
"Bigla akong nagising kaya pumunta ako dito para mag--"
"Mag emote?" Masama ko siyang tinignan.
"Stupid. Nandito para magpahangin at mag-iisip tapos bigla kang sumulpot tss."
"Why are you crying then?" He teased. I rolled my eyes at him.
"Alam mo naman na kung bakit."Singhal ko pero nanatili parin siyang tahimik. Kaya naman napabuntong hininga na lang ako. He shared his burden then I should too. "I-I don't know how and what to tell Vraxx about everything. How should I tell him that I was the one who killed his stupid best friend and I put his other best friend in a coma and I am about to kill his ex and other stupid best friend of him."
"Well that's really hard, especially that it was Damon's order." I glanced at him in confused. "Every demon knows about that, Satana. Si Damon the great lang naman kasi yung kumausap sayo, kahit hindi yung katawan niya ang gamit niya nakakatakot parin iyon."
"I couldn't agreed more, he's damn scary. What do you think should I do, Nicholas?"
"Wala kang ibang gagawin kundi ang sabihin sa kaniya lahat, alam kong mahirap pero yun lang ang tanging nakikita ko na dapat mong gawin, Satana. You're gonna hurt him big time." Seryusong saad niya. "Kailangan mo nang bumalik sa villa, he's waking up." He stood up and then offered his hand to help me stand up and I didn't hesitate to took it.
"Uuwi kana?"
He shrugged. "I guess so, wala rin naman rason para manatili pa dito." Matipid siyang ngumiti at tumingin-tingin sa paligid.
"O-Okay. Goodbye, thank you for your company. I really appreciate it." Tipid ko siyang ngitian at ganoon din naman siya bago niya ako talikoran, tatalikod na rin sana ako pero muli niya akong tinawag.
"Athena?" He called be by my real name.
"Yes?"
"Try to tell him everything today. There is no point of hiding the truth from him because he will know it. If it's not from you it might be from Lucifer, at wag mo na sanang hintayin pang si Damon na ang kumausap sa kaniya. You need to talk to him and tell him everything." Agad kaong natigilan sa sinabi niya. "And I think you really need to go home, Athena." And just like that he turned around and disappeared.
Ilang segundo pa akong nanatiling nakatayo at inisip kung anong ibig niyang sabihin pero hindi ko na lang din iyon pinansin at naglakad na pabalik sa villa. Eksaktong pagkapasok ko sa kwarto ay kakagising niya lang, I gathered all my strength to give him a genuine smile.
"Good morning." I greeted. I walked towards him and sat beside him.
"Good morning, gorgeous." Hinawakan niya ako sa beywang at pwersahang inihiga ako sa tabi niya. "Tinulogan mo ako kagabi."
I chuckled and then kissed his lips. "I was tired." I said after.
"Yeah? Tapos ikaw pa naunang nagising saatin."
"I just woke up, lumbas lang ako para uminom ng malamig na tubig." Sinubokan kong kumawala pero mas hinigpitan niya pa ang yakap sakin. "Come on, baby wake up."
"Matulog pa tayo, please?" Inaantok niya akong tinignan kaya naman napa buntong hininga na lang ako at tumango.
"Okay." Umayos ako higa at mas isiniksik ko pa ang sarili ko sa kaniya.
"Good girl. Do you wanna sleep or do you wanna do something el-"
"Let's just sleep, Vraxx." He chuckled then planted a gentle kiss at the top of my head. "I love you so much."
"And I love you more."
Gabi na nang muli akong magising at wala na rin siya sa tabi ko. Bumangon ako at lalabas sana nang mapansin ko ang isang puting kahon na nakapatong sa maliit na mesa katabi ng salamin. Kunot noo ko itong nilapatan.
"Wear this, meet me outside." Mahinang basa ko sa nakadikit na note. Agad akong napangiti at nagmamadaling pumunta sa banyo at naligo. I wonder what is he up to.
After taking a bath, I wore the dress from the box. It's a cute pink flowy dress, it's off shoulder and full of ruffles, I partnered it with my flat sandal. And then I fixed my hair, half ponytail with loose hair strands. I also did a minimal make up. Muli ko pang tinignan ang kaubohan ko sa salamin bago ako tuloyang lumabas ng kwarto. Pagkalabas ko palang ng villa natanaw ko na si Vraxx, nakaharap siya sa kumikinang na karagatan kung kaya't hindi niya nakikitang paparating na ako. Pansin ko ring isang mesa puno ng pagkain, may wine at candlelight sa gitna.
"Vraxx." I called five steps away from him. He turned around and looked at me in awe. My smile widened when I realized that he's wearing a pink polo and faded blue jeans, he really loves matching clothes with mine.
"You look pretty in that dress." He approached me and then grabbed my waist before planting a soft kiss on my forehead. "Do you like the dress? I picked it myself."
"I love it." I smiled as I looked at him straight in the eyes. "Ano bang meroon?"
"Nothing. I just wanted to surprised you since we'll going back home tomorrow." He held my hand and showed me the table. And he, then, pulled a chair for me and helps me to sit properly. At pagkatapos ay naupo na rin siya sa bakanteng upoan sa kabilang side.
"Hindi mo naman kailangan gawin ito eh. But, thank you. I appreciate it a lot. You're the sweetest." Halos hindi na maalis-alis ang ngiti sa labi ko sa sobrang saya at sarap sa pakiramdam.
"Should we do a toast?" I nodded before he could poured our glasses with the wine. "Cheers for the both of us, baby."
"Cheers." The sound of our glasses echoed in my ears and that just feel so surreal. After the toast we started eating. "Ikaw nag luto?"
"Uhm, no. I was busy preparing other things. Nawalan na akong oras magluto, I'm sorry."
"No! It's fine. It's totally fine, Vraxx. No worries." Kunwareng natatawang saad ko para pagaanin ang pakiramdam niya.
"Oh, okay." He smiled at me and I did same back.
Ipinagpatuloy namin ang pagkain ng tahimik, it's not awkward and uncomfortable at all, it's just that I am really hungry since I was asleep the whole day and Vraxx prepared all of this, he must be really tired and hungry too. Maya-maya pa sabay kaming natigilan nang may biglang sumulpot na lalaking may dalang violin at nagtugtog ng isang romantic song.
"Well, this is not part of this." Gulat na saad ni Vraxx, pero nginitian lang kami ng tumutogtog kaya naman nagkatinginan kami ni Vraxx at sabay na natawa. Tumayo siya at lumapit saakin at pagkatapos ay inilahad niya saakin ang kaniyang isang kamay. "Shall we take this dance then?"
I chuckled. "Sure thing." I took his hand. Lumayo kami ng kaunti sa lamesa. He wrapped his arms on my waist and I wrapped mine on his neck and then I placed my head on his chest.
"This is nice." I whispered as we swayed slowly through the soft and romantic music made by the violin.
"Really nice. I love you so much, Athena." He kissed my at the top of my head. I looked at him and reached for his lips. We were sharing a soft and slow kissed when someone suddenly took a photos of us. Agad ko itong nilingon pero agad namang hinawak ni Vraxx ang baba ko para matignan ako ng deretso. "Don't mind them, they're part of this." Kaya pala pamilyar saakin ang camera na hawak noong kumuha ng litrato saamin.
"Okay." We continued swaying slowly not breaking our eye contact. I looked straight into his eyes, those eyes that never lie. Kitang-kita sa mga mata niya ang saya, ang pagmamahal at sensiridad. Ang mga matang nakakatakot makitang nasasaktan.
"Try to tell him everything today. There is no point of hiding the truth from him because he will know it. If it's not from you it might be from Lucifer, at wag mo na sanang hintayin pang si Damon na ang kumausap sa kaniya. You need to talk to him and tell him everything." What Nicholas told me earlier suddenly appeared in my mind. Napayuko at napalunok at bago pa siya magtaka ay iniangat kong muli ang mukha ko ng may ngiti.
"Can we take a walk near the shore?"
Nicholas is right. Kahit anong gawin ko, malalaman at malalaman parin ni Vraxx. I should really tell him about it right now. Bahala na.