A/n: I'm just beasting all these oneshots XD But, yeah, a Mysterion (and a bit of Kenny) oneshot! I feel kind of weird about it though, seeing that there isn't as much romance as I would have intended. But, I hope it's likable anyway? I'm just trying :P
Also, I made the name "Nox Angel" up. This will be your hero name in this story, but, by all means, go ahead and imagine another name! It was honestly a spur of the moment name. It's lame, I know, but I'm gonna stick with it.
Mysterion x hero!Reader
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Absolutely stunning.
Undoubtedly beautiful.
An angel sent from the heavens.
... Undeniably sexy.
Those were the words South Park media have been describing their newest town hero. She never mentioned her name aloud, and so they had deemed her the Nox Angel. It was only a few months ago when this magnificent girl appeared and started to wipe out South Park's crime in one easy swoop. Criminals were no match for the new hero, no matter how smart or how strong they were. The Nox Angel would take them down without much effort.
But, did this fact matter to the people of South Park? Not at all. Nox Angel was the town's new sex symbol and this pisses me off to no end!
I, (F/n) (L/n), didn't start becoming this "Nox Angel" just so to become a figure that every boy can jack to. Hell no, I didn't! I wanted to prove to this damn town that a girl can do whatever the fuck she wants and do a something as good as any guy can! But was that the case here? No, it isn't! Even when I trumped Mysterion out of the picture, they still see him as a hero worth looking up to while I'm stuck being everyone's crush.
How unbelievably annoying.
I entered my physics class and sat down in my usual seat near my friends, who seem to be deep in conversation about something in particular. Sprawled out on the table, there were pictures of the girls of our school, me included. "What the fuck are you knuckleheads doing?" I asked the four boys in an annoyed tone.
All pairs of eyes landed on me once hearing my voice. "We're trying to figure out who Nox Angel is behind her mask," Stan replied.
I noticed the pictures were in two separate groups. "We have divided them into two. One that we think might be her and the other is 'no way in hell that who she is,'" Kyle explained, pointing at each one to show me.
Surprisingly, my face was actually the 'no way in hell' pile, in which I couldn't help but chuckle at. "Pfft, you don't think I can be Nox Angel?" I questioned them in a teasing tone, very much interested as what their reasoning was.
"Well, you're not hot enough," Cartman deadpanned, causing me to pop a vein.
Before I could make any attempt to strangle him, Kenny muffled out through his hood, "Well, if it makes you any better, I think you're as sexy as she is." He laced his fingers with mine and pressed his lips softly on the back of my hand.
"You dumb fuck, you're only saying that because you two are doing the dirty," our fat friend scoffed.
I was ready to knock his lights out until Kyle piped up, "That's enough, Fatass, before (F/n) murders you and hides your body where no one will ever hide it." His face suddenly looked like he was in deep thought. He then moved my picture out of the prior group and shifted it towards the 'maybe' group. "(F/n) would you ever tell us if you were a hero?"
I pursed my lips as I pretended to contemplate hard about the question. "Maybe, maybe not," I murmured out, a smirk on my lips. "Why would she ever want to reveal her identity?" Kyle stared me down, his brain turning its gears. Kyle was a smart boy, I wouldn't be surprised if he figured out Nox Angel was me.
"Bro, do you mind not eying my girl like that? It's making me uneasy," my boyfriend murmured out beside me, hugging me closer to him.
Kyle's emerald orbs darted away from me. "Sorry, man. I don't mean it like that."
"But it can't be (F/n)!" Cartman snapped at the four of us. He turned towards Stan. "Right? Her boobs aren't big enough!" This boy never ceases to amaze me at his persistence. Stan's face burned crimson, at a loss of words.
"I beg to differ!" Kenny argued. Since he was in the seat next to me, I gave him a good smack at the back of his hooded head. He gave me a sheepish smile.
"You guys are idiots. What if she wore fake boobs to throw everyone off, huh?" I pointed out matter-of-factly. "You don't know if that's her real body. What if her costume altered what she really looked like. Actually, what if Nox Angel was a dude. Ever thought of that?"
All of the boys were speechless, I knew I caught them. No way can they argue against my words.
The teacher started class. I turned forward in my seat so I could pay attention to today's lesson but it had been somewhat difficult as Kenny's fingers trailed over the skin above the hem of my jeans.
~*~
That night, I surveyed the town on top of the highest building. So far, that town was peaceful and quiet. Looks like I made a good impact here. I smiled under my mask at this fact.
All was too good to be true when I suddenly heard a crash not too far from where I was standing. I leapt off the building and landed stealthily onto my feet. I bolted towards the direction of where the noise emitted from. I slowed down my pace when I spotted it was the Planned Parenting clinic that had the broken window.
I entered through the opening, my feet cautiously stepping over the glass on the ground. I scanned the inside and noticed something on the ground, a stone the size of a tennis ball. "This is probably what the person used to break the window," I murmured to myself. I picked up the rock to have found a note, which I unfolded it to read aloud. "Got you..."
Before I could question what the note meant, someone smacked into the back of my head, hard. I fell forward onto the ground on my hands and knees. I may be fully clothed from head to toe but I could feel the glass piercing my skin. I contained a yelp of pain as clumsily gotten onto my feet. My vision was blurred by the good whack but I managed get into fighting stance.
"Damn, you really are tougher than you look," a familiar voice said. Through haziness, I can see two figures in front of me, both wearing costumes I was positive I've seen before.
"Oh hamburgers! She's bleeding," the other person, who was shorter than the guy clad in black, pointed out.
I paused. "Professor Chaos?... And the Coon?"
"The bitch knows us, huh? Impressive since I haven't been the Coon in years after that Mysterion asshole took all the glory," he replied, a wicked smirk on his lips.
Cartman and Butters... Wait, why?... "What's the point of breaking the window?" I asked them in my altered voice with the device I installed into my mask. "Do you not know that police will be here any second?"
"Well, we had an insider that turned off all the surveillance cameras and alarms," the Coon explained... Stan was part of this? "And the point of this was because we knew you'd come. Although, Professor Chaos doesn't know how to knock someone unconscious."
He gave a quick glare to the blond boy next to him, in which he fiddled his thumbs to. "I didn't want to hurt her too badly," Professor Chaos mumbled out.
"Then how did you expect to knock her down?!" I watched their exchange in amusement. Even when they're disguised, they still act like how they normally would. "Good thing I thought of plan B." Suddenly, they put on gas masks from I don't even know where! The Coon then threw a small ball at my feet. Before I knew it, I was engulfed in a putrid, yellow smoke. I fell onto the ground, entering the world of darkness.
...
My eyes shot open at the burning sensation I felt on my knees. I let out an ear splitting scream at the blistering feeling. That's when I realized my hands and legs were tied to the chair I was seating on. I spot Professor Chaos falling onto his butt in front of me, a red stained cotton swab in his hand. "Were you just cleaning my scratches?" I questioned him in a frantic tone.
"Y-Yes, I was!" He squeaked out. I suddenly felt bad. I probably scared the daylights out of him with my shriek of pain.
A bright light then blinded me. I blinked a couple times to clear my vision and saw the Coon now setting up a camera in front of me. "What the fuck are you doing?" I spat at him.
My supposed friend glimpsed over at me. "Perfect timing you have, dear Nox Angel. I am going to do a video revealing who you really are underneath that mask." I froze in my seat once hearing his plan. "And then finally, everyone gets to know who the girl everyone in South Park is so infatuated with."
"But what's the point in it? Why reveal my identity?" I asked him frantically.
"South Park has the right to know," he merely shrugged.
I scowled. "That's not a good reason!"
"It's reason enough!" He then went back to setting up his camera. What was I kidding? This is Eric Cartman! What kind of morals does he have?... Not good ones, that's for sure.
I struggled to get out of the ropes but they were tied too tight. I looked over desperately at the Butters. "Professor Chaos..."
The blond boy had clasped his hands over his ears and had his eyes closed shut. "I'm sorry Miss Angel but I will not set you free!" He then started humming to himself to block out any other sounds around us. I groaned. How am I supposed to get out of this mess?!
I watched Cartman and Butters get ready for my big reveal. My brain processed everything that was in the room I was in... This... Where am I? Judging by the walls and tiled floors, we might still be in the Planned Parenting building.
"Alright, we're ready to go!" Cartman proclaimed. He clicked the button on the side of the camera. By the red blinking light, it was definitely on. The two boys came into view of the camera in front of me. "Hello, I am the Coon, that kickass hero that brought Cthulhu to life that one time!"
"That wasn't very heroic," I scoffed.
The Coon gave me a quick glare before turning back to the camera. "And then we have Professor Chaos... Who really didn't do much with his life." Butters' shoulders tensed at his words but remained calm, hanging his head low. I scowled at the sight. For so many years, Cartman took advantage of him. "Aaaand--" The two dispersed, putting me out on display. "Nox Angel! You may all be wondering how we have been able to maintain South Park's beautiful hero. That, is something you all need not to worry about. But I can honestly say that I have duped her!"
Wow, you're not going to mention that Butters helped?
"Let me go, fatass," I growled menacingly.
"Oh no, no, Nox Angel. You'll be free soon enough. Once we reveal who you are then you're free to go."
"If you reveal me, there's going to be no point for me to stay a hero!" I burst out.
CRASH!
"What the fuck?!"
The door, which must've been locked, had been broken to pieces with a powerful kick. At the doorway, the one and only Mysterion stood, the very hero I had put out of business. "You are an asshole, Coon," he snarled at him in his low, Mysterion-esque voice. His sapphire eyes shifted over to the only blond and gestured for him to get out. "If you don't move it, Professor Chaos, I'll kick your ass too."
Professor Chaos did not have to be told twice. He fled the building without any argument. I was actually relieved now. If there was going to be a bloody mess about to happen, I'd rather have him as far away as possible.
"Dude, fuck you! Now I have to redo the damn video!" The Coon shouted at the masked hero. He stalked over to his camera and fiddled with it, probably to delete the one that was just recording. While he was doing this, Mysterion came to my side and started to untie the ropes. "Whoa, whoa, whoa! The fuck are you doing, Mysterion?!"
"I'm trying to save her from your stupidity, duh." My masked boyfriend finally freed me from the ropes. "We both know why we can't reveal identities! Do you really think hers is any different from ours?" What I didn't expect to happen next was Mysterion to knock the camera down onto the floor, shattering the device. "Stop it!"
"DUDE!" The Coon burst out while bending down to pick up the pieces of the camera. "Just because you're poor as fuck doesn't mean you can break other people's things!"
"What you were about to do was a whole new level of douchebaggery! Just leave Nox Angel alone." Mysterion placed a hand on my waist and started leading me towards the door. "C'mon, let's go."
"But I have to know!" Suddenly, I was knocked down onto the floor, an incredibly heavy weight pushing all the air out of my lungs. I struggled under the Coon, one hand trying to shove is lard ass off me and the other straining to keep my mask in place. "Damn bitch, c'mon! Just let me take a peek on who you are!"
"No! Get the fuck off me, Cartman!" I boomed back at him, using my legs to kick him off me.
As I was now released from his deadly pressure, I realized my mistake as the two boys gawked at me. "How do you know who I am?" he shouted at me, clutching onto his stomach because of my kick. He turned his gaze on Mysterion. "Ha! See, she must be someone from school!" His glare was intense on me. "Who are you, huh? Red? Bebe? WENDY?! Mysterion, you want to know too, don't you?! Help me!"
I scurried onto my feet and glanced over to Kenny. He actually looked conflicted, glancing back and forth between the two of us... I remember, he was very much interested on who Nox Angel was, but I think he had a different reason as to why he wanted to find out. I basically took his job away from him. I wouldn't be surprised if he's actually pissed off at me.
"Please, don't," I whimpered out, glancing over at Kenny. I stared at him with hopeful, (e/c) eyes, but he couldn't particularly see them because of my mask. He walked over to me, gazing at me with those beautiful, piercing eyes of his.
"Let's go," he murmured out, pulling me out of the building.
"You fucking traitor!" We heard Coon's voice muffled in the distance. The two of us continued on, not bothering with him anymore.
...
Mysterion and I decided to hide out at Stark's Pond, seeing that might be the last place the Coon would ever find either of us. But I also suggested to come here because this pond had kind of become a special place for our relationship. For whenever neither of us wanted to stay in each other's houses for any reason, this would be the next destination to hang out at.
We sat serenely on the bench that overlooked the pond, the stars and moon sparkling within its calm waters. We've been there for a couple minutes now, enjoying the soothing silence between us. I decided to break the quiet, "Hey, thanks for saving me back there."
"It's not a problem," Mysterion replied in a murmur.
"How did you find out what was going on?" I asked him, looking up at him. "You haven't been out on patrol for weeks."
"Well, I kind of overheard his plan from Professor Chaos earlier today. At first, I wasn't really thinking too much about it but my conscious got the best of me. I can't let that fatass have his way with you."
I blushed. It's good to know that even when I'm not around him, Kenny could be quite the gentlemen... Wait. Actually, he doesn't act that much like a gentlemen around me. "I appreciate it."
"Mmm," he hesitated for a second before asking me, "So, you know the Coon's identity. Only a few people know of his identity. Do you know who Professor Chaos is?"
"The kid doesn't wear a mask. It'd be hard not to know who he is," I brought up, a chuckle leaving my lips.
"How about me? Do you know who I am?"
I was reluctant. Did I want to give out that much information about myself? Less people knew about Kenny being Mysterion. Karen still doesn't know her guardian angel had been her brother this whole time. "Maybe, maybe not," I answered with a shrug. His arm then suddenly wrapped around my shoulders. I tensed at the sudden warmth I'm feeling as he pulled me to his chest. "What do you think you're doing?!"
"What? You don't mind a little kissing, do you?" Mysterion mumbled to me, a smirk tugging his lips. "It's just going to be between the two of us, right?"
My eyes darted over to his kissable lips. I would never refuse to making out with Kenny but... this is a totally different circumstance... WAIT. Does this mean he was willing to cheat on me... with ME?! I slightly shoved him away from me. "What about your girlfriend?!" I spat him, instantly enraged. Did Kenny ever grow out of his player phase?!
His smirk grew. "How did you know I have a girlfriend?" he sniggered.
I was at a loss for words. He tricked me. I guess that makes me feel somewhat better that he wasn't planning on cheating on me. "I-I didn't. I assumed!"
"You assumed? Why? Because I'm really attractive? Sexy, even?" He said in his deep voice, sending chills down my spine. It was a good thing I wore a mask, or he would see how completely red I've gone.
His hand reached out towards mine and entwined our fingers together. He picked it up and kissed the back of it, causing my eyes to widen at the gesture. No... "I'm going to so many unimaginable things once I rip this costume off your body." Shit.
I smacked his chest. "What the fuck! You knew, you asshole!" Mysterion laughed, or per se, Kenny laughed, as his voice sounded more like my boyfriend's than his hero side. "How did you find out?"
He clicked his tongue at me. "I've sensed it for a while. I think you underestimate me, babe. I've seen you naked before, this skin tight, (f/c) outfit isn't too far off. It wasn't until today in physics class when I confirmed my thoughts. The others may not notice but there's this subtle thing that you do when you're irritated and when Cartman went on about how you couldn't possibly be Nox Angel, I knew. Plus, the way Kyle had contemplated about it helped too..." He frowned slightly. "I still didn't like the way he was staring you down though."
I finally take off my mask, only for Kenny to make his prediction official. He took off his own mask as well and his hood and bared a warm grin. "So, why did you become Nox Angel, huh?" he asked me out of curiosity. "I doubt it's because you were bored one day."
"Well, I wanted to show people that girls can do whatever guys can and possibly better," I answered.
"Job well done then. You got that checked off the list. I'm sure you knocked down bad guys in half the time than I would," he chortled. He pressed his lips onto the back of my hand once again, not failing to send pleasant jolts through my whole body. "I admire the effort you're trying to do, (F/n). You might not have the attention you may want from South Park but if you keep at it, I'm sure they'll realize how badass you are."
"Thanks, Kenny," I replied with a laugh.
He leaned closer to me. "Sooo, does this mean we can do a little kissing now?" he asked me, showing off his puppy-dog eyes at me. I giggled and went ahead to connect our lips together. Kenny wasted no time to wrap his arms around my waist and practically place me into his lap all while in our passionate lip lock.
Hmm, maybe instead of being solo, we can become a heroic duo? Seeing that we are already the perfect team, it's something I wouldn't mind doing with the boy I'm hopelessly in love with.