"What are you doing here?"
"Oh, I was just out on a leisure forest stroll—dobe, what other reason is there for me to be here?"
Levi clicked his tongue as he eyed the girl who was soaring a few distance to his side, the wind whistling loudly in their ears and tousling their hair while they made their way deeper into the forest.
Just his luck, the lightning of a titan transformation happened right after he refilled his gas canisters, so he didn't waste any more time in shooting into the forest to find his squad and Eren. However, to his slight surprise, Isanna suddenly caught up to him from a different direction with her maneuvering gear.
He squinted his eyes at her in suspicion, but didn't slow down his pace. "Does Erwin even know you're here?"
"Is your gas full?" she asked back, deliberately changing the topic and internally hoping he wouldn't notice.
"Yes, now answer the question." He didn't allow her to fool him. Unfortunately.
"..." Isanna bit her tongue while fixing her eyes ahead of them, through the cluster of towering trees and occasionally ducking her head to avoid a nearing branch.
"Let me guess, you didn't tell him."
All he received was a sheepish smile.
"Tch." Levi sped forward so that he was now ahead of her. Great, now he was tasked to babysit his Commander's beloved. And to make it worse, she was here without his knowledge. Levi was far from excited at the job.
"I already have Eren's ass to babysit. Carry your own ass."
Rolling her eyes, Isanna replied, "Of course I will. You do you. I was just worried about Eren and couldn't help myself."
"You could've at least told Erwin," he said and refrained from adding "So that he wouldn't lose his shit looking for you and blame me if anything happened to you."
Isanna quietly grumbled under her breath. "He was being a stubborn jerk and wouldn't let me go."
Because he's worried, you dumb fuck, Levi wanted to say, but chose not to. Whatever stupid drama between the two was not his business.
Aside from the zipping noises of their gears, only the silence accompanied them in the next few minutes, with the occasional bird call echoing from some parts of the forest. They did not know what to see nor expect up ahead, but after numerous scouting missions throughout the years, both were experts enough to know that whatever scene they'd come across wouldn't be pleasant.
True to their thoughts, they were greeted by another massacre.
Isanna had to press her lips tighter in a firm line while biting her tongue in silent remorse as she and Levi passed through the fallen bodies of the Special Operation squad.
She could recognize their faces, and although she was personally not that close with them, she knew how much Levi valued his members; the trust built from countless expeditions had bonded them tightly.
None of them bothered to break the silence. Isanna forced herself to tear her eyes away from the dead bodies, not having the heart to look at them as she stared at Levi's back as they flew by, his cloak ruffling behind him.
This was one reason why she didn't want a squad of her own. She knew she didn't have the mental fortitude to bear the ache of losing anyone else close to her heart. Being the Commander's personal assistant was enough.
As Isanna stared at Levi's figure from the back, she couldn't help but notice how slackened his shoulders had become each time he passed by a body, but he never stopped and continued moving forward through the forest.
She realized this was the burden of being humanity's strongest soldier. Everybody, even herself, had high expectations for him—and because of those expectations, he couldn't even afford to take a breath and mourn for his loss.
I'm sorry, Isanna thought as she looked at Levi empathetically.
As the both of them flew deeper into the forest, blurs of green and brown blurring in their peripheral, they finally managed to reached a steaming titan corpse that was laid down at the ground.
"Is this Eren's titan?" Levi squinted his eyes as he inspected the carcass, while Isanna tilted her head towards a direction when she heard distant thudding.
"Most likely," she replied and shot towards the direction, with Levi following suit. "He fought the female titan and lost." Her eyes narrowed as she whizzed by the trees, swirling thoughts of worry at the teenager.
Up ahead, the two soldiers were able to catch up to the female titan and saw that it was currently jogging away, each step sending tremors reverberating across the grassy terrain of the forest while a particular soldier was continuously slashing at it from behind like a raging bull.
Isanna widened her eyes in surprise when she recognized the soldier. Mikasa.
She heard Levi mutter something under his breath before he propelled forward, looping an arm around the girl and telling her to fall back in the meantime while they plan up a counter strategy, with Isanna joining the two.
"Is he dead?" Levi asked, pertaining to Eren.
Mikasa gave him a pointed look that seemed close to a sharp glare before she insisted that Eren was still alive and that the female titan's objective was just to kidnap him.
"Maybe she was trying to devour Eren all along," Levi mused as he kept a steady gaze at the jogging titan. "He's probably already in her stomach, dead."
Isanna wanted to comment about his admirable positivity, but held back her tongue when she remembered that he had just lost his squad. She mentally scolded herself.
"He is alive," Mikasa hissed through her teeth. "In the first place, this wouldn't have happened had you only performed your duty in protecting him."
Isanna flickered her gaze at the younger soldier with a reprimanding look, knowing how Levi was still in pain from his loss. "Mikasa, remember what I told you."
Turning to her, Mikasa recalled her advice in her memory.
"Always remember to keep your head cool and not lose your sense of judgment."
Averting her eyes, she regretted her tactlessness. "I'm sorry."
Isanna frowned at her, before she directed her attention back at the titan. A voice in the back of her head was telling her she didn't have a right to reprimand Mikasa since she herself was currently acting out of orders, but she ignored it. She was just going to accept her punishment later.
The three of them began discussing about how to kill her, but in the end they settled for retrieving Eren assuming that Mikasa was right about him being still alive inside her mouth.
"We'll cut her up—" Levi glanced at Isanna knowingly, before he turned to Mikasa—" and you'll distract her."
As Mikasa nodded and went down lower ahead of the female titan, Levi and Isanna were left behind with tense stares at their enemy, their blades drawn and ready to attack.
"Watch your remaining gas," Levi warned. "I don't want that Shitty Eyebrows nagging at my ear if you bite the dust."
Isanna doubted the blond would bat an eye should she die. After all the countless sacrifices Erwin had made, his heart had probably already turned stone-cold.
She huffed. "We'll cut this dipshit up before that happens."
The following seconds were tense as both Isanna and Levi continued to follow after the jogging titan, hands gripped around their blades and waiting for the chance to attack, with only the whistling wind accompanying them.
Then, the female titan dropped her momentum and abruptly turned around, reeling back a large fist and thrusting it forward at them.
Isanna dodged it by declining her body while Levi whirled around her outstretched arm with monster speed, spurts of blood following his cuts as he made his way up her arm and blinded her vision. At the same time, Isanna lunged at the titan's chest and circled downwards its body while digging her blades into its flesh until she reached the ankles, slicing off the tendons with a grunt and causing the titan to lose its balance.
Mikasa watched with amazement as the two soldiers momentarily fell back after the female titan crashed on the ground on her bum, both hands quickly covering her nape to protect it.
They're fast, Mikasa thought with widened eyes. And their teamwork is amazing!
She was witnessing the rumored humanity's strongest soldier and the Scout's war goddess in action.
Isanna and Levi shared a silent look and lunged downwards, simultaneously hacking off the tendons holding her arms until both limbs slackened down by her side.
As Mikasa saw the vulnerable spot on its nape, she was overcome by the urge to save Eren as quickly as possible and latched a hook at the flesh, pulling her body towards it with her blades at the ready.
Right at that moment, Levi and Isanna noticed the twitch in the female titan's hands and yelled out at the same time.
"Stop!"
"Mikasa, don't!"
Too late.
Before Mikasa knew it, both Levi and Isanna had came between her form and the oncoming hands of the female titan that were about to crush her. Fortunately enough for Levi, only his ankle took the damage from her one large hand, although it didn't make it any less painful as he winced at jolting twinge shooting up from his leg.
Unfortunately for Isanna, the female titan's other hand rammed hard into her body, and she swore she literally heard a sickening crack followed by a convulsing pain spreading across her upper body. She harshly bit her lip to stifle a yelp.
Ignoring the pain in his ankle, Levi's eyes shot wider as he saw her figure spiraling downwards, feeling a twisting churn in his stomach when he noted the drops of blood flicking at the gravity.
"Shit—ISANNA!"
•
Imagine a volcano that is on the verge of erupting. The boiling magma gathered in its crater is fuming loads of steam, grey smoke rising upwards and accumulating in the sky. Everyone within the vicinity has long been advised by authorities to evacuate the place to ensure they won't be caught up in the eruption.
Now imagine the same phenomenon, but attach it to a person. And imagine that that person is Erwin Smith.
If humanity knew what a volcano was, that would be exactly what Hanji would use as an analogy to the current state of her Commander.
Earlier, the veterans finally exited the forest and was about to regroup with the other soldiers who had been stationed at the forest line. Hanji had been expecting that they were already waiting for them so that they could redeploy the formation and return to Karanes, but when they exited the forest, they were still at the tree line, scattered around.
She could still remember the conversation that went between Erwin and a soldier when Erwin asked whether Isanna had exited the forest or not.
Hanji repressed a shiver when she remembered the face Erwin had made.
After that conversation, Erwin had then ordered for everybody to retrieve all the corpses they could find to bring them back to the walls. It didn't take a genius to realize that he wasn't in the best moods after that.
Hanji figured it was probably because it was unexpected for Isanna to go against orders from Erwin, more so especially since they were on an expedition. No matter how much she'd disagree, she was known to be particularly obedient to him while on a scouting mission.
"They're taking so long," Hanji muttered with a worried frown as she looked over at the forest, wondering what could have happened to them.
Mike was in the middle of replenishing his gasses. "Have faith in them, they'll come back." Although he said that, even he couldn't deny his growing concern.
"Well, they have to," she replied. "I don't know how long it'll be till Erwin snaps. And frankly, I don't want to be within a ten-meter radius when that happens."
Mike had to refrain from blurting that Hanji was scarier when mad. "You're overreacting."
This was Erwin they were talking about. No matter how stressed he'd be, he had a mind of a rock.
Hanji snorted. "No I'm not. This is Isa we're talking about. No matter how much he tries to act cool, he fusses over her."
Mike wanted to say something, but the more he thought about it, the more he realized she was actually right. If there was one thing that didn't change between Erwin and Isanna after their fight, it was their subtle way of still looking after the other.
"There they are!"
Hanji's voice dragged Mike out of his thoughts as he followed her finger and saw a group of soldiers exit the forest with their maneuvering gear. He stood up and unplugged the pump from his gas canisters before he turned and headed to them together with her.
As she lifted her arm in a wave, Hanji was about to call for Levi's attention when her eyes landed on the person he was carrying in his arms—bloody and unconscious.
And the closer she got to them, the more the dread inside her piled up. "Isa—"
"Four-eyes," Levi interrupted, "you're good at bandaging, aren't you? Patch her up."
Mike watched and followed as they placed the unconscious girl on the back of an empty wagon; his eyes scanned the bloodied section that was spreading across her torso, and he subconsciously tightened his fist as he stood by the side while Hanji quickly went to work using their medical supplies.
Meanwhile, Levi had limped away after ordering Mikasa to look after Eren in a separate wagon. He then scanned the area, looking past the soldiers who were all either carrying the dead or were mourning, until his eyes landed on a certain tall blond. He walked over.
"Erwin."
The Commander was skimming down a list of death tolls that had been handed to him earlier when he heard a familiar voice calling for him. Normally, hearing that voice wouldn't have incited as much eagerness. He handed the list back to the Scout without a word and turned to see Levi; his observant gaze did not fail to notice that he was limping.
"Are you hurt?" he asked with a frown as he looked at his leg.
Levi dismissed his concern. "It's minor." He hesitated for a bit. "But Isanna's worse—"
"Where is she?"
For a rare instance, Levi was actually a bit intimidated by his stare.
"She's being treated by Hanji on a wagon. But we need to hurry and return.. she passed out," he said as he jabbed a thumb behind him, and he caught the way the blond's eyes visibly darkened before he pushed past him.
Levi was about to internally relax at how he didn't scold him at least, until he heard Erwin say,
"Levi, I expect a full report of what happened when we return."
Well fuck.
•
The soft afternoon breeze was blowing the shrubbery of grass below, orange hues beginning to settle in above them, and there was a silent air of remorse permeating around the soldiers as the failure of their expedition began to sink in. While the new recruits were still coping up with the harsh reality of their first expedition, the veterans were more bitter that despite all the sacrifices they had made, they were not able to achieve even a slimmer of success.
"There were five casualties we couldn't recover," a soldier informed with a hint of regret while the Commander silently read through the death toll. He warily lifted his eyes to gauge the blond's reaction, mindful of his brewing frustration at the failure of their operation, the number of deaths, and to add, his second-in-command getting injured.
"Not even any parts of them?" Erwin asked, eyes still glued on the list.
The soldier replied that they couldn't get near because of the titans, adding that it would probably be best for their respective families if they didn't see their mangled, horrendous figures.
Erwin pushed back the familiar dread, already mentally steeling himself for the families' reactions once they get back. He already had a lot on his plate, but most of his thoughts kept on going back to the condition Isanna was currently in just minutes earlier when he went to check on her. There was no time to waste, he thought; they needed to return as soon as possible. "Report them as missing."
"Yes, sir."
"We're moving out now." Erwin handed back the list to the soldier and began walking away. "Inform the squads."
While the soldier affirmed his order, another soldier decided to step up and voice a complaint.
"I refuse to accept this, Commander Erwin!"
Stopping in his tracks, Erwin looked over his shoulder to see a soldier giving him a hard look, his own fists trembling beside him.
Another soldier tried to chide him for his tone, but he pressed on. "We should recover them! Ivan's body was right in front of us!"
"There was a titan next to him!" the other soldier told him off. "We'd just end up losing someone else!"
"If they attack us, we can just take them out!"
Another soldier with long brown hair that was tied in a low ponytail turned to Erwin with desperation. "Ivan and I are childhood friends from the same village! I know his parents." He continued that at the very least, he wanted to take his friend's body home.
"Stop being selfish!"
Erwin was not new to such arguments. He understood their concerns; leaving behind a fallen friend would leave a bitter aftertaste in the tongue. But he also knew the risks of retrieving them, and with the way things had been going for the Scouts, they couldn't afford to lose any more soldiers. And, there were a few soldiers who were in dire need of immediate medical assistance.
"Quarreling children?"
All heads, including Erwin, turned to see Levi arriving into the scene. The soldiers who had been engaged in a heated argument were momentarily caught tongue-tied at his presence.
"If you confirmed he's dead, that's enough." Levi added that bringing back a dead body wasn't going to make a difference.
The two soldiers who were hellbent on retrieving the remaining dead bodies stared at him with shock, still too speechless at his apparent coldness.
Erwin prolonged an unreadable gaze at Levi, before he turned to the soldiers. "We'll cross out Ivan and the others as missing in action. That's my final decision."
As the blond walked away, Levi also teared his eyes from the soldiers and followed after him.
The soldier with blond locks followed his superiors with his eyes, tears gathering at the corner as he gritted his teeth.
"Don't either of you.. possess any human feelings at all?!"
Something in his accusation pricked Erwin from the inside.
"Since when did you become such a heartless asshole?!"
Lowering his gaze, he furrowed his brows together in a deep frown, silent remorse at his own decision. This was just one of the many decisions he had steeled himself into making for the past years. No matter how cold his decisions seemed to others, he never let that falter him, because it was his job to be a monster. A monster nobody else could ever have the courage to take.
His dream and responsibility had pushed him to a point of no return, a point where he had to abandon his humanity—not because he wanted to, but because he had to.
"Erwin!"
He snapped out of his contemplations and turned to see Mike lightly jogging towards him with a frantic expression.
"It's bad, her breathing's gotten more shallow—we need to return to the walls."
"Prepare to move out."
Mike didn't understand how he could still look so calm despite Isanna's condition. With clenched jaw, he affirmed his order and went away to convey his instructions to the rest.
But what Mike wasn't aware of, was that Erwin was just as equally distraught—he just did a better job hiding it .
Despite the coiling anxiety inside him, Erwin inwardly told himself that giving in to panic would do him no good. Still, he was doing everything to calm his brain from all the restless thoughts.
That was a skill he was internally grateful for having; the ability to still maintain his composure despite the stress collecting in his brain.
He headed towards the wagon where he remembered Isanna had been placed. All around him he could hear hushes of conversations thrown between soldiers as they all readied themselves to retreat back to Karanes.
When Erwin reached the wagon, he couldn't help but instinctively furrow his frown deeper—if that was even possible. All signs of frustration at her disobeying him puffed into air and was replaced with worry.
He focused on the wraps of bandages all over Isanna's torso, taking note of the paleness of her complexion and how her breathing seemed more labored.
Hanji had taken off her blood-soaked shirt earlier, so the only form of clothing on her chest were the thick rolls of bandages.
With a quiet sigh, Erwin untied the cloak around his shoulders and gently draped it over her figure, the worry inside his own stomach rising higher than ever as he swallowed a heavy lump in the back of his throat.
He tenderly brushed a few of her hair locks away from her forehead.
Father... please, don't take her away.
In the minutes that followed, their remaining formation were currently now galloping back towards Karanes district, hooves clopping and wagons jerking over the terrain.
But just when it seemed like they could finally relax, a yell of alert from a soldier came from the very back line.
"Titans!"
Glancing behind him, Levi couldn't help but scowl deeper when he saw two titans chasing two certain soldiers who were riding their horses, and after straining his eyesight far enough, he was able to make out the dead bodies they were carrying.
A red round of flare signal was shot upwards from the rear, alerting the rest of the formation. Erwin slightly tilted his head when someone announced the sighting of the titans somewhere behind him, but he kept his determined gaze ahead. "Full speed ahead!"
Levi commented how they were currently in a leveled field with little vantage point to intercept the enemy thus making it difficult to fight back, while Erwin replied that they were better off outrunning them back to the walls.
Clicked his tongue, Levi slowly pulled the reigns of his horse in order to fall back towards the rear.
They were luckily able to outrun the titans that were tailgating them, but it took the abandonment of the corpses in exchange.
When the Scouts arrived at Karanes, they could not avoid the usual murmurings of the citizens as they rode by the streets.
Mike lifted a hand to massage his temple from the yells of dissatisfaction from some of the citizens; some journalists who were eager to pry some spicy details about Eren Jaeger, the titan boy's first expedition, were pushing past the crowd of onlookers towards the Commander.
"Commander Erwin! Would you like to answer a few questions!" Several more voices piped up.
"How was Eren Jaeger's performance during the expedition?!"
"Have you managed to accomplish some grandiose goal to make up for the great number of victims the Scouting Legion has suffered?!"
"Do you have regrets about sacrificing your soldiers?!"
Mike had to step up and push back the group of journalists. He clenched his jaw when they persisted forward. They had just failed their mission and were now greeted by this mess. He was tempted to break their ankles, but he stopped himself as that would most likely paint them out to be an even bigger villain in the next news headlines. Probably something like "BREAKING: VICIOUS SECTION COMMANDER OF THE SURVEY CORPS GOES ON AN ANKLE-BREAKING SPREE FOLLOWING THE FAILURE OF THE 57TH EXPEDITION."
That wouldn't be the first time an exaggerated headline made it into the papers.
Besides, it would cut their already-dwindling budget and scare away potential supporters.
Glancing at Erwin, Mike half-expected for him to at least look a bit disturbed, but to his surprise, his face was as stern as ever. As if he was unfazed at everyone's criticisms.
He was honestly amazed at how Erwin could still keep himself firm amidst the bombardment. He probably got used to it. Mike knew that if he was in Erwin's position, he would have already cracked under the pressure long ago.
Later on, they received news that the damages and monetary expenses that were expended on the expedition were so costly that their few supporters inside the walls had decided to turn their backs on the Scouts; Commander Erwin was held responsible and was summoned to the Capital, while Eren was to be handed over to the authorities.
•
"Sergeant Major, please don't move too much!"
Isanna gritted her teeth, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in her head and the left side of her body as she slowly sat up. She failed to notice the forest green cloak that was draped over her bandaged body drooping down to her lap.
"Where's my horse?" Her voice was hoarse as she looked at Moblit. "And Eren? Mikasa? Are they safe?"
"They're all safe." There was a light pinkish hue on his cheeks at her exposed skin, although he willed himself to refrain from glancing down. "Now please, let me take you to the clinic. The Commander will get mad if you keep on moving too much."
It was then did she realize she was still at the wagon; they probably had just arrived to HQ, based on the way there were some soldiers unloading supplies and stabling the horses.
Isanna lifted a hand to press against her temple, wincing at the twinge. When she pulled her hand back, she was alarmed to see traces of blood.
Consequently, Moblit was overcome with worry and stepped forward, but abruptly paused when a hand patted his shoulder from the back.
"I'll take it from here."
Hearing the familiar voice, Isanna turned to look at the blond.
Mike glanced at Moblit and told him he was going to take her to the clinic for him, with the latter thanking him with a curt bow, before he went away.
"I'm fine," Isanna defended and tried to avoid from cringing at the pain all across her body as she watched him step forward.
"You're good at a lot of things, but lying isn't one of them." Mike bended down, carefully hooking both arms behind her knees and back as he slowly lifted her from the wagon. He briefly scanned bandages on her.
"How did you even wake up with those injuries?" He thought it was a miracle, especially since he half-expected for her to spend at least a whole day knocked out.
She visibly grimaced at the ache. "I'm just.. that cool."
He was about to chastise her recklessness more when he felt her body instantly going limp in his arms. 'Cool', my ass.
He didn't waste another second and began heading to the direction of the medical clinic of their HQ. The sky was already fading into hues of orange sunset, casting a warm glow around them while shadows loomed over the headquarter's buildings and a soft breeze fluttered the weeds below, every step of his boot crunching them.
Earlier upon arrival, Erwin had called for a few of his veterans to his office for a general meeting while the rest were ordered to have their rest, and Mike was about to walk away when Erwin stopped him.
"Accompany her to the clinic."
Even though Erwin didn't mention a name, Mike already knew who he was referring to. So here he was now, taking her to the clinic.
Mike sighed as he entered the clinic and was greeted with chaotic frenzy. Their doctors and nurses were tending to the wounded, voices overlapping each other's as they briskly walked here and there trying to get their job done. Groans of pains from wounded soldiers rang through the air.
He called for a doctor to examine Isanna as he gently laid her down on a bed in the corner of the room.
Straightening himself, Mike looked down and scanned the bandages all over her body, his eyes zeroing in on the blood that was beginning to seep through the bandages around her head. That doesn't look good.
Soon after, a doctor finally came over and checked her wound. He didn't waste time and quickly went to work, and in a matter of minutes, Isanna was finally dressed in a new set of bandages. The doctor told Mike she should refrain from excessively moving for a while before making his way to the next patient.
Mike glanced down at her unconscious form, feeling the worry slowly beginning to fade now that she seemed like she was peacefully sleeping even though the medical bay was in a frenzy.
He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Don't worry me next time, idiot."
Mike then turned around and exited the clinic, heading for Erwin's office.