Ashton's POV:
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"I have something to say and you're going to listen."
I press my shaking hands harder on the desk. They say that love is beautiful and amazing, but I think they forget to tell you how terrifying it is. That when you pour your heart out, you have this overwhelming fear of rejection.
Her eyes flash defiantly and she clenches her jaw. That hit a nerve. I know she doesn't like being told what to do, but I don't know how else I can get her to talk to me. She doesn't really want to do it willingly and she isn't going to seek me out when she's ready, she has too much pride.
"Please, you have to let me say this," I try again.
She lets out a big breath and nods for me to continue. I hop onto the desk and cross my legs. She raises her eyebrow and I see she's amused. That something, right?
"First and foremost, you are my best friend and nobody can ever replace you. You've been there for me when I needed you. You've seen me at my worst and best and you've stayed no matter what. I couldn't of asked for a greater person because their isn't. A lot has changed and I guess I'm to blame for that."
"You are not the only one to blame," she interrupts. "We both felt what we felt and we acted on it."
I can feel my stomach and I don't think that's normal. I nod slowly and shift so I'm facing her more. "That's true. What I'm trying to say is I don't regret it. I don't regret liking you and I don't regret kissing you. I've never had real feelings before you. Everything else was meaningless compared to you.
I wouldn't change anything that's happened. Not even the fight. I was stupid and assuming and I'm sorry for that. I saw you and him kissing and I was so sad and angry. I felt heartbroken and betrayed. But I should've talked to you instead of yelling at you. And I'm also sorry for what I called you. It isn't even close to the truth."
I stop talking and take a breath. She continues staring at me and I wring my hands in my lap. After a few minutes I'm having a heart attack and I'm debating on fleeing the room. I try to say something more, but the words will not come out of my mouth.
She stands up and starts pacing the room and I'm pretty sure I'm going to faint. She's probably thinking of a way to tell me to go screw myself. I wouldn't blame her, but I'd appreciate it if she'd say something. Anything at this point.
She finally faces me and clears her throat. "If you want to know the truth, I didn't ever think I was going to be able to forgive you. For as much as I broke your heart, you broke mine. When you called me a slut I heard my world shatter. I could handle that from anyone else, but not from you.
I don't even know why I'm forgiving you. I don't think I could give you a reason. I just find that I can forgive you. I can't promise you that's it's going to be the same between us. I want it to, but I don't know how."
I scramble off the desk and engulf her in a huge hug. I don't care if we'll never be the same as long as we're still friends. I'd rather have her, even if it's not the same, than not have her at all.
"What about us?" I ask.
"That's what got us into this mess in the first place though," she counters.
"True, but-"
"And are we willing to face that possibility again?" She interrupts.
"Well I-"
"What if it doesn't work out and we can't even be friends?" She interrupts again. "I don't want to lose my best friend."
"Shut up dammit. I love you," I rush out before she has time to interrupt me again.
She stares at me with wide eyes and I resist the urge to run my hand through my hair. She opens and closes her mouth a few times but no coherent words actually come out. Finally, she sighs exasperatedly and flops into her beanbag chair.
"This is bad," she mumbles.
I clear my throat and finally run a hand through my hair. "Care to elaborate," I slightly snap.
She swivels her head towards me. "We can't do this. We'll never work out!"
I roll my eyes before crouching in front of her. I take her hands in mine and look her in the eye. "Yes. We. Will."
"H-how do you know? You don't! There's always the possibility we break up and never be f-friends again!"
I see the tears in her eyes and take a deep breath. I don't like it when she cries, she's strong. She's the person you go to when you cry. It hurts to see the strongest person you know cry.
"There's always the possibility you can get hurt playing football. Do you let that stop you from playing the game?"
"No," she mutters.
"There's a possibility that you can fail a class. Does that keep you from trying your best?"
She rolls her eyes at me, but stays silent. I pull her chin so she has to look at me. "There are a million possibilities in the world, but you don't let them stop you from living your life. Yes, there is a possibility we won't work out. But there is the possibility that we will. I know we will, even if you don't."
I stand up and take a couple steps towards the door. I turn back at the threshold and look at her. "I love you, I really do. I'm going to give you time to do whatever the hell girls do to figure stuff out. When your ready to talk, you know where to find me. I love you Cece."
I walk out cursing myself. I shouldn't have walked out. I should've waited until she answered. I was afraid of her answer though, what if she doesn't love me? But what if she does?
I yank open my truck door, but something stops me. I can't leave without knowing. I have to know. I bounce on my toes before finally slamming the door shut and running to her front porch. I reach for the handle but the door is ruffly pulled open. We stare at each other, both trying to catch our breath.
"Look I know that maybe you don't love me," I finally say. "I just need to know. It's killing me thinking that you don't feel what I feel. I get it, I do. It would break me if that is the truth, but I don't want you to lie. I know-"
"Oh my gosh Ashton! Shut up okay?" She laughs at me and I feel my stomach clench from the sound.
"Sorry, I didn't-"
"What did I say?" She asks.
I roll my eyes and make a dramatic gesture of zipping my lips. She seems to have an internal debate before finally placing both her hands on my cheeks. She starts to open her mouth, but before she says anything I put my hands over my ears.
She slaps them away and forces me to look at her. "You are such a pussy," she says in all seriousness.
"You would be to if you were in my position," I grumble, looking at the ground.
"I love you Ashton," she says with a soft smile.
I slowly drag my eyes to hers and I stare at her in disbelief. I feel a hundred emotions running through me and I can't even pause on one. I want to say something or kiss her or anything, but I just stare and I think I can stare at her for the rest of my life. She runs her thumb across my cheek and I snap out of my trance.
I grab her and pull her towards me until there is no room between us. Her hands start to slip from my face and I cover them with my own. She cocks her eyebrow at me before biting her lip to suppress a laugh.
"Where's the music?" She whispers.
I roll my eyes. "The band must have missed their cue."
She steps back with a laugh. "Cecelia Anderson, will you be my girlfriend?"
She dramatically taps her chin in thought. "I think I can do that."
I roll my eyes before pulling her to me and capturing her lips with mine. She wraps her arms around my neck and sighs against my lips in content. I slowly drag myself away from her.
"How are we supposed to announce this to the guys?" I ask.
"That's your problem, boyfriend," she says cheekily. She giggles before skipping inside and slamming the door in my face. I hear the lock click. I just lean against the door with a huge smile on my face.
*****
I wipe my sweaty palms against my leg. Seconds until the end of the game. Quarterfinals. This is it, we need this. It's a tie game, only a touchdown for each team. This team is aggressive and we've had to be more to keep them from scoring. It's been a lot of up and down the field, nobody making far it enough to score.
I shake out my arms. Cece has been tackled twice now. They go for her every time and it's hell trying to protect her. I can see her muscles are exhausted, but she's got a fire burning to finish this game with a win.
We're right at our end zone. Just a few more yards and we can win this, but they have a good defense. We line up Cece calls the play. Nate snaps the ball and I can't pay attention to them any longer because I have a guy head straight for her.
I strain my muscles and run full speed at him. We tumble to the ground in a clash of helmets and limbs. I take a second before rolling off him and searching for the ball. People from both sides are in a pile and I cringe for the person underneath.
They start getting off at the refs command. The clock has run out and now it's just a wait to see if we've made it. The ref make his signal and our who team whoops in joy. Wesley kept the ball tucked, were safe.
Slaps and rough housing ensue on the field. Coach looks not pissed so that's something. I find Cece and we start leading the team back to the locker rooms. I bump my shoulder into hers to get her attention.
"Ready to party?" I ask with a smile.
"Hell, yeah! It's been a long week, and I NEED A DRINK!"
The team cheers in response and in the distraction I grab her hand. She squeezes it and smiles at me. This has been a roller coaster week and I couldn't be happier with the ending.
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I have no excuses for being this late on the update so feel free to yell at me like the horrible author I am.