Joe rolled over in bed. He could hear his cell phone ringing; but he couldn't bring himself to answer it. He knew that the call wasn't from Zoey, and he couldn't handle the disappointment that was going to wash over him when he saw that he had no notifications from her.
He wiped his eyes, which had finally seemed to slow down on the tears. What was Zoey doing right now? Was she upset? Was she hurt? He hoped whatever she was doing, it was something to make her feel better. He just wished he was the person who made her feel good.
His phone rang again. Joe groaned, hating the small sliver of hope that found its way into his chest every time his phone buzzed. He sighed, reaching out without looking. He flipped his hand around his bed until he managed to find his cell phone.
Brian Holden Now
Missed call
_______________________________
Lauren (lil shit) 10m
call me so I know that you're okay.
_______________________________
Darren🤘🏻🎸 24m
also pls send me law homework thx bbe😊
_______________________________
Darren🤘🏻🎸 31m
whaddup. finished your big solo for HP musical. hit me back. _______________________________
Lauren (lil shit) 35m
Missed calls (3)
_______________________________
Brian Rosenthal🎵 6:52 pm
Hey, just letting you know I'm home safe since you wanted to know. hope everything's good with you.
_______________________________
Lauren (lil shit) 6:45 pm
Missed calls (2)
_______________________________
Joe felt his heart drop into his stomach. Nothing from Zoey. He should've known.
He threw his phone to the edge of the bed, having not taken in a word of anything on the phone screen since he'd merely skimmed over looking for Zoey's name. Should he text her?
No. She told him that she didn't want to hear from him. He should respect that.
But at the same time, shouldn't he let her know that he cared? Maybe she'd respond if he did.
Crawling over to where he'd thrown his phone, he wiped his eyes yet again as he unlocked it. He could barely type because of how badly his hands were shaking, but he managed to write out "thinking about you. Love you. Please talk to me."
He typed and deleted that same string of sentences about fifteen times before finally bringing himself to press send.
He took a deep breath, reassuring himself. This was his girlfriend. She'd be open to talking to him soon. She just needed validation that he loved her.
Despite his reassurance, he closed his phone and put it face down nearly as soon as he'd pressed send. He was too terrified to see if she'd read his text. Should he check her location? He shook his head no. They only shared that with each other in case something were to happen to the other. It wasn't for him to check to see what she was doing. He trusted her.
His phone rang. He practically sprung up to his feet as he grabbed, confident that it was her. It had to be her. She wouldn't just ignore him.
He checked the screen. It was Lauren again. He resisted the urge to throw his phone out the window as he declined her call. Instead he tossed it to the ground, which probably wasn't best for it but he couldn't bring himself to care.
He sank down onto the floor, his arms shaking as he tried to fight off the tears that he could feel welling up in his eyes. He knew that he needed to calm down. She probably hadn't even seen his text yet. He'd just sent it. He grabbed his phone off of the floor, going to his text thread with Zoey.
Read 8:35pm.
He dropped his phone on the floor as tears came flooding out of his eyes. He couldn't ignore the sinking feeling that consumed his body head to toe. She'd read it basically the moment he'd sent it, and chose not to respond. He reached out through blurry eyes, grabbing his phone and going straight to Snapchat, hoping it would give him some sort of idea what she was doing. Or worse, show him that she was doing absolutely fine in spite of their fight.
He gulped when he saw that she'd recently posted on her story. He clicked it to find a video of her doing shots with Beth and Allison. Anger flooded through his chest; he was over here crying his eyes out, and she was partying with her friends?
Joe shook his head. There was nothing wrong with her finding refuge in her two best friends after they'd just had a big fight. If anything, she deserved the comfort. Feeling reassured, he clicked to her next story, to find her, Beth, and Craig all passing around a joint and smoking from it. Was she at a party? She hadn't mentioned anything to him about going to a party tonight. He nervously clicked to her last post, which was a selfie of her and Sam in Allison's hot tub. His heart practically shattered at how happy she looked in the photo.
Why was she so close to Sam in the hot tub? Was Charlotte at this party? He swiped through Snapchat until he found her story, which was simply a photo of her cuddling with one of her cats, with the caption "cuddle night💖". The post was only twenty minutes old, so Joe was willing to bet that she wasn't at that party. Her next post showed her, Ted Spankoffski, Bill Woodward and his girlfriend Sylvia all playing a board game.
Joe sighed. Zoey might be breaking his heart, but at least she didn't treat him as badly as Sam treated Charlotte. At least he could trust her. Knowing that his situation could be worse helped him calm down his emotions. At the current moment, he felt bad for Charlotte more than he did for himself. He scrolled over through Snapchat until he came across Beth's story. He gulped. Should he watch it? He was almost scared of what he would find on it.
He clicked to find the same video of Zoey, Beth, and Allison doing shots. Clicked again to find a selfie of Beth with Craig. Joe rolled his eyes, feeling sorry for Allison. The next video showed Beth in the hot tub next to Zoey, who was sitting on Sam's lap.
Joe abruptly closed his phone. He didn't want to see any more. All he could think about was how badly he wanted to be there with her, holding her. Meanwhile she seemed like she was perfectly fine without him. Joe rested his forehead on his hand as tears streamed down his face. What did he need to do to make Zoey want to be with him?
A knock at the door made Joe jump. He sighed, not in the mood to explain what had happened to his parents. "Not now, please." He whined, resting his head in his knees as he hugged them.
"It's me, let me in." Joe looked up at the sound of Lauren's voice. What was she doing here? How long had she been standing at the door?
He stood up, wiping his eyes aggressively. He couldn't let Lauren see him like this. She'd give him the lecture about Zoey and he didn't want to hear it. He knew that she wasn't going to understand how the entire fight was his fault.
He opened the door, gesturing for her to come in. To his surprise, Holden was with her too. Joe bit his lip; he really didn't need for Holden to see him cry. "What's up?"
"What happened?" Lauren asked, bolting through the door.
"What are you talking about?" Joe asked innocently.
"Joe, don't play dumb." Holden said firmly. "We've been through this before. What happened with Zoey?"
"What did you hear?" Joe asked, his heart pounding. How could they possibly know about the fight?
"Well for starters, Zoey's Snapchat story." Holden said, sitting down on the floor.
"And Joey told me about how Zoey showed up while you were rehearsing with Rosenthal." Lauren added. "I'm sure the two of them aren't aware of how Zoey would react to that, but I am. That's why I called you, repeatedly, and you never picked up." She sat down in Joe's bean bag chair.
"I'm sorry," Joe mumbled, staring at the floor. He truly didn't know what else to say. Why did she seem so angry at him? The last thing he needed was two people mad at him.
"Joe don't be sorry, we just want to know that you're okay." Lauren responded sweetly. "Just tell us what happened."
Joe sighed. "Rosenthal was over rehearsing for Glee club and Potter musical with me. Zoey showed up while we were rehearsing and she's mad because she thinks Brian has a crush on me or something."
Lauren bit her lip, staring at the floor. "She said that?"
"Yeah, she actually accused Brian of trying to steal me from her," Joe responded, rolling his eyes. "Can you even believe that?"
Lauren fought the urge to tell Joe that she could believe that, because while Brian wasn't actively trying to steal Joe from Zoey, he was very much into him. Instead, she shrugged.
"What were you and Brian doing? Just rehearsing?" Holden asked, confused.
Joe ran his hands through his hair. He felt sick just thinking about the whole thing. "That's where it gets understandable why she's mad. So we were trying to practice being under a cloak together, and we tripped and wound up on top of each other under a blanket. So anyway, that's what she's mad about."
"And you think it's appropriate that her response to that is to post herself practically giving another guy a lap dance on Snapchat?" Lauren responded bluntly.
"Stop," Joe pleaded, feeling tears welling up in his eyes. "I know what you're trying to do. But this fight is my fault." Joe froze, taking a deep breath to control his emotions. "Yes, her reaction isn't the best. But I hurt her."
"You didn't hurt her." Lauren said sternly. "She knows that you're not cheating on her with Brian. She knows how much you love her. She's using this to guilt trip you so that she can control you."
"Lauren, you're letting your mixed feelings towards Zoey cloud your judgement."
"No, you're letting your feelings for Zoey that literally no one understands blind you to the truth!" Lauren was on her feet. "How much longer are you going to sit here and take this abuse from her?"
"Lauren," Holden chimed in softly, extending a hand. "Let's all just take a deep breath."
"No!" Lauren responded angrily. "I'm so tired of watching Zoey completely ruin him!"
"She is not ruining me!" Joe yelled, rising to his feet. "She's good for me. She's good to me. I'm the problem. She does so much for me, she cares for me, she loves me and I love her!"
"She doesn't love you, Joe." Lauren responded, her voice softer but still firm. "She wouldn't treat you the way she does if she loved you. You're a possession to her. She just wants to control you."
"Shut up! Shut up!" Joe sat back on his bed, resisting the urge to sob into his arms.
"Joe, please," Holden cut across Lauren, walking over to Joe. "We just want what's best for you."
"She, she is what's best for me." Joe responded, his voice quivering. "I don't want to imagine my life without her. I can't."
"Joe, I know it's hard," Lauren said, trying to control her emotions. "But the sooner you accept the truth, the sooner you can move past this mess."
Joe shook his head. He wished that he could control his emotions better, but at the current moment he was nothing but angry. He knew that Lauren and Holden were simply looking out for him, but he couldn't stand them putting down his girlfriend anymore. How much longer was he going to tolerate his friends being completely unaccepting of the person he loved? "I think you guys should go." Joe whispered.
Lauren and Holden looked at each other, neither expecting this reaction from Joe. "Buddy, we're not trying to upset you—"
"I understand that you aren't." Joe attempted to slow down his breathing. "I know you're trying to help. But this isn't helping." Joe wiped his eyes, looking up at his friends. "What will help is me being a better boyfriend and fixing this mess."
Lauren opened her mouth to respond, but found that she had nothing to say. She knew that nothing she said was going to get through to him. As much as she wanted to help him, she couldn't if Joe wasn't willing to save himself.
Lauren and Holden left, Joe closing the door behind them. Locking it, he collapsed onto his bed, hugging his knees to his chest. He wished this nightmare would just end. He felt as if his anxiety had been building up for days, weeks, months even, and it was all finally spilling out.
He wished Zoey were there with him. If he could just get her to listen, he'd tell her just how much he loved her. How important she was to him. How much he hated himself for letting his friendship with Brian make her feel insecure.
A knot in his stomach formed as Brian popped into his mind. What was he supposed to do about Brian? Their friendship was so important to him, but there was no way he'd be able to spend time with him anymore if he wanted Zoey to stay with him.
Joe curled up, hugging his pillow. He didn't want to lose Brian, almost as much as he didn't want to lose Zoey. He'd become such a good friend to him over the past few weeks. He cared about Brian, a lot now that he was thinking about it. How was he supposed to tell him that they couldn't be friends anymore?
As he pulled his blanket over his body, he found himself craving the younger boy's presence. He knew that he should probably be embarrassed over how he'd sobbed into Brian's chest yesterday, but he didn't. He couldn't shake how relaxed he'd felt, letting Brian hold him. How Brian had made him feel safe. For the first time in he didn't even know how long, he felt like someone truly cared and valued him.
As guilty as it made him feel, he wished that Brian were there with him right now.
Sorry for another angst chapter, things will pick up soon!😊