"Tell me how you've been this week."
Luke sat in a chair across from his therapist, a tall girl with wavy hair that bordered blonde, brown, and gold depending on the lighting. She had grey eyes that sometimes looked blue, a round face, and a large nose that crinkled when she was thinking. She was wearing a solid white top tucked into a pair of pink and black plaid pants—usual professional attire.
The best thing about her to Luke was the fact that she looked approachable. There was just something about her demeanor that screamed "You can talk to me about anything".
"That's actually the reason I got into psychology," She told Luke on their first meeting. "I used to call it my "curse", I couldn't leave my house without some random person stopping me in the store or on the street without talking to me and telling me their entire life story, so I figured 'why not make a profession out of it'?"
She had an easy smile that lit up her face, and always seemed so relaxed no matter what the situation was. Whenever she was trying to figure out phrasing or ask a tough question, she looked up to the ceiling before settling kind eyes on her target. All in all, Luke couldn't have asked for a better therapist; she just made him feel at ease no matter what.
"I've been really good, actually. Ashton and I went on a date earlier in the week."
"How did that go?" Caity asked him, ignoring the notepad that sat on her lap in favor of looking at him like he was an actual person, not just a victim she was trying to cure.
"He was so thoughtful and cute," Luke gushed. He knew Caity had a soft spot for their relationship, she always got a little tearful when hearing all the wonderful things Ashton did for him, so he enjoyed recounting stories to her. "He talked to Harry and made sure he'd be okay for the night at the bar, then picked up food from the diner which we ate on the train to Long Beach. His driver met us at the train station and took us to the beach, where we cuddled on a blanket and went for a walk at sunset. It was probably the best date I've ever been on,"
"That's great, Luke. I'm so happy you're able to take these steps and truly be comfortable with your new relationship."
Caity hadn't been 100% sure a new relationship was in his best interests when he expressed interest in Ashton when he first started therapy. He was still a mess from Michael and she thought having someone new step in might be harmful to Luke. After Ashton dropped him off to a session and she had the chance to meet him, she immediately changed her mind. She saw how different Luke acted around him and realized it would be good for Luke to have someone he could count on—actually count on. He still needed to do work for himself and not just rely on another person, but he seemed to be trying and it was apparent. That's what made their relationship work.
"Now, how are you feeling about today?"
Luke gave her a puzzled look. He was doing great, still in a fantastic mood from the date the other night and riding high on those feelings. Nothing could bring him down.
Caity took a glance down, flipping through some of the pages on her lap.
"You know what today is, right?"
Luke shrugged lazily.
"September 23rd?"
"Yeah, today marks the day one year since Michael abducted you from Ashton's bar and took you to New Jersey."
Luke sat there, blinking as he processed the information.
"Wow."
Caity sat forward a bit, not sure what was going on in his head. She set her papers down on the table to her left and clasped her hands in front of her.
"Hey, let me in, Luke. I can't help you if you don't tell me how you're feeling."
"I uhm..." he shrugged. He wasn't always great at expressing himself still. After years of being shot down for feelings, he was much more comfortable keeping them in.
"Let's try this. Tell me all of the words that are floating around your head right now. I just told you that, how are you feeling?"
"Shocked. Surprised. Impressed."
Caity nodded, glad he was speaking. Sometimes Luke got silent when he felt overwhelmed and he didn't process through everything he needed to. As long as she could keep him talking, she could help him.
"Why are you feeling those things?"
"I didn't realize it had been a full year since he...since I left him. I'm surprised it happened so quickly, I feel like this last year went by so fast."
"What are you impressed about?"
"That I've made this much progress in that amount of time," he admitted sheepishly. Caity grinned.
"Luke, you should be so fucking proud of yourself," his eyes widened, he'd never heard anything remotely unprofessional from her, but to be fair, she did seem to be only like 25 or so. "You've worked so hard this past year, you've started trusting people, you're not nearly as jumpy as you were when you first stepped into my office. You're working out and you started doing Krav Maga so you can make sure you never find yourself in a situation like that again...what you're doing for yourself is remarkable."
"Well, I, uh, thanks, but I couldn't have made it this far without support from my friends and family,"
Caity shook her head, causing him to trail off.
"No, Luke. You did this." she smiled. "You were the one who decided you needed to learn to defend yourself and took it upon yourself to make sure you aren't likely to be put in an uncomfortable situation. You were the one who wanted to go to therapy, which your friends encouraged, but you set that in motion. You're the one who's working so hard to get more comfortable with intimacy, with friendships, and trusting people. Luke, that was all you."
Luke blushed. He'd never thought about it like that.
"Sometimes it's just so easy to look at what other people are doing for me and give them all the credit for where I am now. It's hard to recognize my own progress,"
Caity smiled.
"Well, that's your task for next week, then. Write down all the small things or big things that you notice you're doing to improve yourself. I'm so glad you've got support, it's really important," She told him. "But it's also important to realize that you're the one in charge of your life—your progress and your mistakes. Try to come up with ten things this week, but if you can find more, I won't be mad."
"Okay, I will do my best."
Caity smiled at him, standing up from her seat. Their time was over, so she had to debrief before her next appointment.
"Great. Bring the list next time and we'll talk some more. And as always, don't be afraid to text or call me if you ever need anything, you have my cell number and the office number."
"Thanks, Caity. See you next week,"
"Bye bye!" She called as he walked out of the office.
Luke pulled his phone from his pocket and sent a text to Ashton, letting him know he was done with his session. Usually, Ashton visited a local coffee shop for the 45 minutes Luke was in therapy and would meet him at the door when he was done.
"Hey, Doll, how's it going?"
Luke smiled as Ashton lifted his arm and allowed him under it. They started walking down the street, happy in the others embrace.
"Good. It was a good session today, no one cried." Luke generally measured 'good' sessions by the fact that he could make it through without ending in tears.
"That's good, I'm glad." Ashton smiled down at him while they waited at a crossing. Ashton had wanted the car to pick them up and take them back to their place, but Luke said he preferred to walk home if the weather allowed because it gave him the chance to work through what he went over in his session.
They walked in silence for a moment as Luke tried to figure out what he wanted to say. Something Luke really loved about Ashton was how much he valued being open and communicating, but also the fact that he gave Luke the space to do that on his own time. He never jumped down his throat, asking how it went or what he wanted to talk about. Without even saying it, he just left the floor open for Luke to offer anything he wanted. And on the off chance that he didn't want to share anything with him, that was okay too. Ashton only cared about what Luke wanted.
"Cait says I'm making really great progress with getting better."
"You really are, darling, I'm so fucking proud of you,"
Luke giggled when Ashton booped his nose.
"Thanks. Uhm, she said that I don't recognize what I'm doing to help myself though." Ashton furrowed his brow in confusion. "I mean, I kept trying to give credit to you, because you've been so incredible to me and I don't think I'd be where I am without you, or Harry, or the support from my family."
Ashton tilted his head thoughtfully.
"Well, we're here to support you, but you're the one who's been taking all the action to get better. If you didn't want to, then our support wouldn't do anything. It might be a helpful factor, but without your desire to improve yourself, you'd still be sitting in the middle of my bed crying, curled up in a ball at the thought of leaving the house like you were 11 months ago."
Luke blushed, realizing he was the only one who didn't see what he was doing.
"That's exactly what she told me," he admitted as he walked up the path to Ashton's apartment. "So this week I need to take note of things I'm doing to help myself."
"I think that's a great idea," Ashton kissed his head as he let him go to unlock the door and let them inside.
"I'm glad. What do you want for dinner?" Luke asked, taking his shoes off by the entrance mat.
"I don't care, are you going to make something?"
"If you want,"
"I don't know if the kitchen can survive another Lukey Special," Ashton teased, setting his keys on the counter before opening the fridge to see what they had.
Ashtons apartment was open concept, so the kitchen, living room, and entrance way all connected without walls getting in the way.
Luke rolled his eyes, shrugging off his jacket.
"You microwave eggs one time,"
Ashton chuckled as he pulled a package of chicken from the refrigerator drawer.
"How does stir fry sound?" If anyone was going to cook, it was going to be Ashton.
"Perfect."
"Do you want some time to be alone?"
Luke nodded hesitantly, still a bit wary of the reaction from his boyfriend. It's not that Luke expected him to get upset, but he understood that sometimes he and Ashton might want different things.
"Okay, I'll cook in here, you can have whatever other room in the house you want."
Luke breathed a sigh of relief, glad that he didn't seem angry. Sometimes he had to convince his mind that Ashton wasn't Michael, and he wasn't going to react that way. Sometimes it was difficult.
"I'll be in my room, I think. I'm going to journal about the session."
"Sounds good, I'll text you when dinner's ready." Ashton blew him a kiss then turned to his laptop to find a good recipe.
Luke sighed happily. He couldn't ask for a better life.
***
I know I say this all the time, but I want an Ashton. Also all the people who were sad at how Lukey was treated, look at how good he's doing now 🥺🥰 he's so much better. Hooray!
Also I will not let the egg thing go, don't even bother. I will somehow incorporate it in every single book I write, even if I need to include a pointless scene that has no influence on the plot. This is just a warning. 😈
~ashtonfortherwin