Christmas Eve
Ricky and Josie walked inside Dreux's home. Mia stared at them in disarray. both were covered in blood. "Josie, you good? Dreux asked. Josie nodded following Ricky downstairs her anxiety was driving her crazy. She just stabbed a man and was in the middle of a shoot-out that could've taken her life. She was realizing that this situation has reached the point of out of control and she's being irresponsible by being around him. She sat on the step catching her breath part of her was feeling rage the other was feeling sick to her stomach. "Jo, it's okay," Dreux said. Ricky sucked his teeth "Just let her be dramatic bro" Ricky said. "Fuck you, you never had my best interest what is this the 5th time I almost died" she scoffed. Ricky turned around "Run it back again," he said. "Y'all need to chill out, it's late-
"You heard me," she said. Ricky yanked her from the steps. "Keep playing with me-
"Get off of me, I will punch you in the face" Josie yelled. "Do it" he said. Dreux got in the middle of them breaking them up. "Hey Hey what is going on? Mia came downstairs with the towels. "He's ruining my life, don't put your hands on me Ricky it's not 2017 and I will really beat your ass" she warned. Ricky sucked his teeth "Aint nobody put their hands on you. I got you from off the steps" Ricky said
"Look do y'all really want to start like this? Dreux asked. "There's no start this shit is cursed, I'm tired of this shit I just want you to leave me alone" Josie begged. "Aww Josie, come on there's a room upstairs if you want it," Mia said placing towels on the chair. "Nah she just wants to argue don't buy the act Mia," Ricky said. "Shut the fuck up" Josie scoffed. "Baby you really be pushing it," Ricky said trying to calm down. "You really pushed it breaking in my car earlier" she spat.
"You broke in her car? Dreux asked
"I had a good reason," Ricky said
"Baby go upstairs I'll be upstairs in a second" Dreux told Mia. "Don't shoo me upstairs like a child I'm making sure Josie is straight" Mia crossed her arms. "That's not what I was doing come on now" Dreux looked at her. "I know you two are furious with each other but you two need to figure it out but not like this, I promise you don't want to do anything you regret," Dreux said. The both of them calmed down "I'm straight bro" Ricky said sitting on the edge of the sofa. "Josie? Dreux asked
"I'm not fine, but I will be" she rolled her eyes. Dreux turned around going upstairs with Mia. The both of them stared at each other which seemed like hours. She walked past him to go to the bathroom she slammed the door. She turned on the bathroom light looking at the blood splattered everywhere. She didn't have anything to change into at the moment. She turned on the water wiping her face and arms. She kind of didn't want to go back out there. She sighed leaning her head down. "What the fuck just happened? She said to herself.
She opened the door. He sat there quietly. She sat far away from him deciding not to say anything.
"I want you to stop saying that I don't have your best interest its pissing me the fuck off," he said. "I just want to go home, I don't really care" she admitted
"Well, you can't so what you gon do about it? Ricky scoffed.
"You just wanna hold me hostage and have a power trip like you always do, shit ain't about me" she crossed her arms. Ricky laughed Do you even hear yourself? I put my life on the line yet again to make sure you're straight. I'm over here tracking your steps just so nothing happens to you and the first thing you wanna do is go on a date with a nigga? You keep going on these dates with weird-ass niggas with fucked up intentions and I gotta save your ass every time. Your priorities are not there... but yet you're mad at me cuz I fucked my ex" he said
"Yup and I'll continue to date until I find a man who is truthful, loves and respects me-
"I DO LOVE AND RESPECT YOU" Ricky yelled
"And what does your ex have to do with me wanting to leave? She asked. "Don't play dumb your still mad and you want to punish me for it. My life is on the line, my family's life is on the line but you wanna throw a temper tantrum because I had relations with my ex? You're a piece of work" he said
"Your life is always on the damn line. Nobody is throwing a temper tantrum I don't want to be in your presence and yet you're parading the fact that you slept with your ex almost if you want to make me upset because I'm upset typical narcissist" she said
"Or you going on a date to get a reaction out of me" he added
"Ricky this doesn't even correlate, nobody was checking for you, you think you're the greatest nigga out here because you have status and are untouchable so what? I understand you have a lot going on but I won't let you paint me out as being crazy for feeling how I felt.
"That's not what I'm doing-
"Yes it is, I just stabbed a guy for Christ sakes" she scoffed
"So," Ricky said. Josie rolled her eyes "I'm doing things I'm not even supposed to be doing-
"I told you to come with me, had you listened instead of trying to be a hot girl none of this shit would have happened" he stood up raising his voice. "Excuse me? So now you're blaming me because some niggas are after you?
She laughed "This isn't even about your dad it's about me going on a date" she shook her head. "Nah it's bigger than that, it's the fact that your ass can't cooperate... ever at the end of the day whether you like the circumstances or not you tied to me and you need to act like it" he said. "Oh please stop the macho man talk I'm not trying to hear none of that... you know what instead of us arguing you need to be real for once in your life and tell me what's going on.. and just maybe I might be a little more understanding-
"That shit that just happened wasn't understanding enough? He yelled. "You're talking in circles and just wanna be mad about shit" he grabbed his lighter.
"And you're still not communicating with me, just like back in the day," she said sitting on the edge of the bed. "There you go living in the past it never fails," he said. "RICKY YOU LIKE TO LEAVE ME IN THE DARK AND I HATE IT" she yelled. It grew silent again the both of them filled with passion and hurt.
"....Fine, again I'll do something you'll never be able to do .....is to drop my damn ego. Yes, I'm a little hurt about what happened between you and your ex, and it's not really the sex... it's just... it was always somebody else and it made me feel some kind of way. Ricky, I've always been your #1 fan even when you didn't deserve that kind of appreciation. I get it you know, I get that I'm not the main person in your life and you had a life way before I got in the picture. I understand our journey it's complicated and I would never make you feel bad about mourning your ex. I believe she was a wonderful woman... but it's the things you said. How we never had anything? How you weren't cutting her off for me. I was like wow so what am I to you? Was I just this girl that helped you get over that little hump you had.. then later down the line, you decide to give it a try because it's time to "commit to something" hmm? Was it Dreux or Craig constantly drilling in your head that "I'm a good girl and you never let those go"?
Ricky shook his head not saying just listening. "I've watched how you loved women your mother, your sister, and when you got so aggressive about your ex Lauren that's when I realized I wasn't shit to you. I didn't even ask you to cut her off. I didn't ask for shit. I just wanted clarity, I've always wanted clarity. But most importantly I wanted to finally feel like I was your one and only you know all those times when you commented wifey under my pics and how I'm your world. I wanted you to back it up but you didn't.. you just disregarded my feelings and made me feel like shit" she said. She began to chuckle "The only person you care about is your family, your ex, and Morgan. I'm just the "good woman" that got away.. and I don't deserve to be that" she said.
"Ricky you love the idea of me, that's why you don't want to let me go.... just let me go" she wiped her eyes. The both of them sat in silence for a while. She felt like she revealed too much and emotionally was exhausted. "Um I'm gonna go up-
"That's not true" he finally spoke. He turned around "Josie that's not true at all, that hurts that you feel like that," he said getting emotional. "I swear on my life I didn't mean to hurt you or make you feel small. I truly adore everything about you" he said. "Since the beginning Jo, you've always seen me for who I was and it scared the living shit out of me. How can someone that hasn't truly lived their life get mine? Even when I was difficult, manipulative, degrading, and disrespectful as hell you had my back. You were always graceful you could've gone to the other side but you didn't. Baby, I didn't know what to do with you. I had women that were easy that let me do anything and it was easier that way. I knew you were a great woman I figured I already had your life in a weird situation I didn't want to fuck it up enough. So I purposely was extra mean to keep you at a distance but I hated it. I was scared to tell you the real and I still am" he said.
"When I said we never had anything I didn't mean that way. I just meant we never could've had what we truly wanted due to my circumstances. I honestly was pissed off at what was going this situation with Grant and then when Lauren passed I took all of my frustrations out on you and you just wanted the truth you didn't deserve that. I'm sorry" he said.
She crossed her arms " You said I was a form of escape for you and who knows what you were saying to me while we were fucking. I mean I know we used each other for leverage but-
"You have to admit some of it is true, my delivery was shit and some of the things i said were out of anger and some of the things I said were true. I didn't have anything to give to you but protection, money, and sex.... what kind of relationship is that? Some times I was even high on drugs" he explained
She didn't say anything she just looked away."Josie, it's always been you and me, and you know this. It wasn't Janelle, Kat, or Lauren you've seen the worse in me. You were in my life when it just started crashing down. You're literally my right hand" he said.
She frowned "How can that be so special if everything was traumatic? She looked at him begging for answers. "How is that so special? She asked.
"You only love me because I made life easier for you? How does that make me feel like what you're saying is even real?" she questioned. Ricky grew frustrated it's like how can she not get that his love for her runs deep.
"Because you had my back isn't that would love is? You take care of the person you love you have their back and you love them. I get it being ride or die isn't romantic, but that's why I want to create new memories with you. We can repaint this picture and change the narrative but don't you ever in your life say that you aren't valuable in my life Josie cuz I love you. I'll die for you and I've shown it a million times." he got teary-eyed.
"Why didn't you come back for me? She asked
"I don't know Jo, I knew you were on a mission and I would only get in the way but I always was confident that we would cross paths again," he said
"I never meant to hurt you" he cried. Josie's eyes widened Ricky began balling in tears, she never seen this man cry not even at Ronnie's funeral. He got on his knees crying her name. "I never meant to hurt you. I was trying so hard to show that I wasn't the same man I wasn't years ago but you weren't receptive to it and it made me angry. I was trying to balance respecting your space while also trying to court you but then shit kept adding up" he stopped crying.
"Bad things kept happening splitting us further apart and then Lauren came out of nowhere. I didn't know how to move but I always knew I wanted to marry you, then I would backtrack again cuz how can someone like me deserve someone so perfect like yourself? I wanted to die that night we fought hurting you hurt me...I felt so close then I shattered your heart. I felt less of a man you know. I'm sorry my own father is trying to kill me half of the time... I'm doing the best I know how I'm sorry I-"
Josie nodded "Okay" overwhelmed she sat on the edge of the bed while he cried in her lap. "I promise I never meant to hurt you you're not an idea you're my reality I always wanted baby no doubt" he looked into her eyes. She wiped his eyes finally feeling better but the last line took her out. She dropped to her knees hugging him. She's never experienced him this vulnerable so she 100 percent knew what he was saying was valid something she always wanted. Both of them were filled with different emotions crying on the floor.
Cortez
Cortez tipped the room service as they bought in tons of food. Victoria rolled her eyes it almost 12 midnight and the kids were going to be up all night. "Pizza" the kids ran to the buffet. "Now they're gonna be up all night," she said rubbing her belly forgetting she wasn't pregnant anymore. She sat down having a flashback of the stillborn they had that was extremely traumatic. "You okay? He asked.
"Y-yeah I'm fine," she said sipping her hot chocolate. "Mommy it's snowing"
Victoria turned around she loved the snow. "Oh wow, you guys should go sledding tomorrow its a resort across the street," she said. "Can we? They asked. "Of course we're gonna have a damn winter wonderland in this bit- a winter wonderland," he said. "How about we do a little preview and I'll let y'all open one gift," Cortez said. Victoria couldn't lie this was a nice holiday so far at the four seasons not having to worry about cooking a big dinner and taking the kids from her house to his was to her surprise a bit peaceful.
"You got my iPad thanks daddy" Camden smiled hugging Cortez. "No problem kiddo" he smiled. "I actually got you something," Cortez said handing Victoria an envelope they stopped giving each other gifts after the divorce. Suprised Victoria grabbed it opening the envelope. "Oh wow, thanks" she grabbed the envelope which was a spa experience at the red door spa. She began to laugh "Thank you I really need this," she said. "What's so funny? He laughed. "Check under the tree," she said. He pulled out a gold envelope from the same spa. He laughed "Wow, I guess great minds think alike," he said
"Ehh" Victoria smiled.
"Thanks love... Merry Christmas Victoria" he smiled.
"Merry Christmas Tez" she smiled back.
Something slight
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We are in 4th quarter this year and this book lets's see what's left.