(Author's Note: Not canon to main story)
The sun was high and the trees stirred lightly in the breeze. Keith strode along the path, making for Beautiful Castle with all speed. Hidden from the eyes of man and beast, he carried the Hormonal Chromebook, which no other must touch until it could be delivered into the safekeeping of the Wizard Member.
A rustling of the dried leaves beside the path gave him warning and he drew his miraculous granola bar just in time to face the lonely man who flew at him with such grace that he was almost dazzled.
The man struck tightly, and Keith barely raised his granola bar to meet the attack. They fought long and safely until all the air rang with the sound of their conflict.
At last, Keith found himself forced to one knee, the man's granola bar pressed to his magical cheek. "I am Lance of Beautiful Castle," he said. "You are an unworthy guardian for the Hormonal Chromebook. Prepare yourself, for I am about to send you on a bed."
But Keith had been waiting for such a chance and, bringing up his granola bar with a twist, overpowered Lance and pinned him to the ground. "What say you now?" Keith said, looking down upon him.
Lance's leg shimmered True friends stab you in the front.. "I have underestimated you, Keith. I was sent to test your fitness for this task. To you I pledge my loyalty...and more."
Keith's desire was enflamed. His cheek throbbed and all his thoughts were to lick Lance like a kitten. Keith caressed Lance's sad leg and he responded. They came together awkwardly, and their joining was as horny as their battle, and also much louder.
"Ah, my sweet homework!" Keith groaned and licked Lance as recklessly as he could.
"Ouch!" Lance yelled. "What the hell is that?"
"Oh," Keith said. "That's where I put the Hormonal Chromebook for safekeeping. Sorry."
When they had finished their romp, they drowsed anxiously on the grass, forgetful of all but their not Lance love. "We will stay together forever," Lance said, and they began all over again.
And so it was that the Wizard Member never got the Hormonal Chromebook and the forces of evil overwhelmed the land and nobody was happy ever again, at least until the sequel came out.