I awoke on Christmas morning to a soft kiss, pressed onto my forehead in such a way that it lingered for a moment after Remus pulled away. I smiled before my eyelids rose and I was met with his honey colored eyes, hovering inches above my face.
"Good morning, my love."
It was a small change, no more than two letters. 'My love' as opposed to 'love'. But it was different nonetheless. 'Love', while endearing, was surface level. Remus had just reset our relationship entirely, using no more than one possessive adjective.
"What?" He asked with a curious smile. "What are you analyzing now?"
"Nothing," I said quietly. "Merry Christmas."
He smiled a little wider before leaning down and kissing me again. Remus was good at those, the little kisses. He gave them out often. Even so, each one equally lit up my insides and fluttered all across the surface of my skin.
"Ready to go down for presents?"
"No," I groaned, throwing my arms around his neck and pulling him down so he was laying on the pillow beside me. "Do we have to get up?"
He chuckled and brushed away the hair that had concealed my face in the dramatic gesture.
"Okay," he caved, his words spoken barely above a whisper.
"Yay," I cheered softly, kissing his bare shoulder before laying my head on it, my forehead resting against his jawline.
I love laying with you, I thought, my fingers holding his sleepy and smiling face. But I didn't say it, because I had drifted off again.
When I was ready, Remus excitedly clamored out of bed, ordering me to stay for a moment.
I giggled as he rushed to his closet, rashly pushing aside sweatshirts and shoes before pulling out two red sets of something plaid.
"Here," he said innocently, sitting beside me on the edge of his bed.
I pushed myself upright and unfolded the pants.
"A Lupin tradition," he explained proudly, showing me his pair.
I love your family, I thought, slipping my legs into the soft material and admiring the pajamas - the Lupin pajamas - in the mirror. But I didn't say it, because Remus interrupted me.
"Wait," he instructed when I put my hand on the doorknob.
He plucked his Poloroid camera off of his bureau and crossed the room to stand behind me in the mirror. His arms looped over my shoulders, so the camera was in front of me while he was behind.
"Silly faces or cute ones?" I asked, leaning my head back on one of his arms to properly look at him.
"One of each?" He suggested.
And so, two new photos were added to Remus's cork board. One labeled 'Who's face is funnier? 25/12' and the other, more simply titled, 'Christmas 1 25/12'.
I love your polaroids, I thought, pinning them up on the packed display. But I didn't say it, because the second title caught me off guard.
"Why 1?" I asked.
"Because there are more to come." He replied.
"Really?"
"Of course," he said simply. "It's you and me forever, darling," and he gave me one of his brief but beautiful kisses, as though his previous words were common and easy.
I smiled and discretely slipped the little box with our rings into my pocket before walking through the door which Remus held open for me.
We descended the carpeted staircase hand in hand to find Mr. and Mrs. Lupin in the kitchen. Mrs. Lupin was pouring a cup of tea and laughing in her airy sort of way, and Mr. Lupin was smiling his warm and admirational smile. Each of them also had on red plaid pajama pants.
"Morning," Mr. Lupin boomed. Remus smiled and went to hug them both.
"Happy Christmas!" Mrs. Lupin said, pulling me into a hug as well. "There are loads of owls here from your friends."
I turned to the window where there were, in fact, many birds perched on the window sill. Remus went over and untied each package carefully, releasing the carriers one by one.
"We can open them in the living room," he said when I went to help him.
Remus and I settled in on the couch and sorted through the miscellaneous parcels. Each had a letter attached, and the first one I opened was from Marlene.
Syd,
Heyy hoe. Happy Christmas! May Jesus be with you and all that.
I would say things are quiet without you, but Sirius, James and Peter will hardly leave me alone so how could they be?
Anyways, miss you like crazy. Can't wait for you and Remus to get here! T-6 days until the biggest party of your life.
Marls
P.S. Have you shagged yet??? This is very important, please update ASAP
I laughed to myself and folded the note, moving to unwrap the present, which was wrapped in brown paper.
Inside was a little gold necklace with a sun charm. I smiled and carefully rested the chain on the glass coffee table before moving to the next package.
Hi Syd!
I found this in a little shop with Marlene the other day and it reminded me of you.
Hope you like it! We'll make some hot chocolate when you get here.
Peter
He had bought me a white mug with a blue 'S' on it. I put it beside the necklace and picked up the present that - based on the terrible wrapping - was no doubt from Sirius.
Oi Carter,
New Rolling Stones tape! I may have used it already... Promise I'll return your cassette player when you get here?
Or not..
X Sirius
I grinned at the thought of Sirius opening his gift this morning, and being able to listen to the tape together in a few short days. The next package was wrapped carefully and orderly and definitely by the hands of everyone's favorite mom friend.
Squid!!
Do you miss me terribly? (I know the answer is yes, no need for the sarcastic rejection).
Surprised you haven't shown up yet. I guess the Lupins don't hate you after all? They always were much too nice...
See you in 5! I still have that bed ready just in case :)
Jim (aka James, aka your favorite) Potter
James had bought me a little armband with the words "I'll always catch you" etched into it. I knew that he wore a similar one during matches 'for luck', and so the sentiment was far more heartwarming than the gift itself.
My presents were now piling up, and I reorganized them slightly to make room for the rest, as well as the ones Remus had received.
Dear Syd,
Hello! Missing you and everyone else so so much.
How are things with Remus going? I haven't heard much so I'd assume well? Frank is coming up to spend Christmas Day with me, which is so exciting. I really do love him.
Anyways, hope you like your present. I'll see you at James's New Year's Eve party, yeah?
All my love,
Alice Fortescue
Alice had gotten me a little music box that held jewelry and played a twinkly sort of song when wound up.
I placed it by Peter's mug and picked up the last package.
Hi Sydney,
Hope you and Remus are well and having a Merry Christmas!
I'm planning on heading to James's a bit early, it's getting quite difficult to be in Petunia's presence lately, and that awful boyfriend of hers is here round the clock. What was it that you called him? Vermin? I'm starting to think you weren't far off.
He and I are doing brilliantly, James I mean. We've been writing letters throughout the trip, and he's been helping with my familial issues. I'm sort of hoping something will happen before we head back to school. Is that crazy? I thought so at first, but now I'm not so sure.
It's hard, but I've realized that you lot are my family now. Once I'm settled in at Marlene's place and back with her, Sirius, Peter, and James, I'm sure I'll feel much better.
I'll write when I arrive!
Best,
Lily
The redhead bought me a new little scrapbook for my pictures - my old one was running out of space. Most of the pages were blank, but the first one had a photo of her and I in the dorm room. We were sat on the floor, painting each other's nails and smiling at the camera. She titled the page in a similar fashion to Remus's, saying: '4/11 The girliest thing Syd will ever do'.
I showed Remus the photo and he laughed before placing down his book from Lily on top of mine.
"Alright," he said, rubbing his hands together and smiling. "My turn."
"Wait," I put a hand up. "Me first."
I slipped the little white box out of my pocket and passed it over to him. He smiled and accepted it, the item looking tiny in his large hands.
He carefully lifted the top and I watched his face soften as he lifted out one of the rings.
"That one's yours," I said, noticing the 'S.C.' engraving. "It goes on your pinky finger."
He slid the gold ring on and held his hand out to admire it with a smile.
I love your smile, I thought, as he pulled out the second ring and pushed it onto my right pinky finger. But I didn't say it, because I remembered the magic.
"Promise me something," I said.
"What?"
"Anything, just make a promise."
"Okay," he furrowed his brows slightly in amused confusion. "Uh, I promise to never judge your very fashionable shirts ever again."
I snorted and rolled my eyes, remembering Remus in the little tank top.
"Now make it a pinky promise," I directed, holding out my ringed finger.
Remus grinned and locked his left pinky with my right.
On contact, the gold rings turned to all white, the moon and wave borders moving into place. Remus's smile grew as the two little people appeared, dancing their way between our linked fingers.
"I love them," he said, our hands falling to our laps.
I love them too, I thought, as my lips spread into an equally large smile. But I didn't say it, because Remus had turned to grab his present for me.
He handed me a thin rectangular box, wrapped in blue paper. His eyes were sparkling and excited, it was hard to care about the present when I already had more than I needed.
I did open it, though. And inside was a medium sized piece of glass. The center was stained blue and had a star map, with a familiarly beautiful dark nebula.
'13/9' The bottom read, in Remus's handwriting. 'The night I fell in love'
My heart dropped in surprise and I looked up to find Remus smiling fondly at me.
I looked into his eyes for a moment, allowing myself to drown completely in their golden waves of safe and soft depth. He flickered through my mind and my soul, standing out completely as the most perfectly imperfect piece of my heart.
I pictured him lifting me up in the parking lot, hitting the wall during the food fight, blushing furiously in divination, pinky promising in the common room, moving over in his hospital bed, kissing me in the rain, hovering over me on his bedroom floor. I pictured his crinkled eyes when he smiled, his furrowed brows when he concentrated, his tongue in his cheek when he was angry, his quiet voice when he was tired. I pictured his rough hands, his soft touch, his bright smile, and his bottomless eyes.
I realized that it wasn't laying with him that I loved. It wasn't his family, or his Polaroids, or the rings. Those were only pieces, only excuses.
"I love you," I admitted, both to him and myself, and I felt my eyes gloss over slightly. Because I felt that it was true, and because I felt that I was finally loved in return to the fullest and truest extent.
_______
A/N
brb crying about this chapter
song: yellow - coldplay
how i think it applies:
i feel like syd is so scared of love and commitment, because up through hogwarts, everyone she truly loved had abandoned her. so this song and this chapter are like her forcing her way through the fear and allowing herself to accept that she loves and is loved by rem.
also i think the lyrics represent the total commitment from remus to prove that he loves her and is entirely devoted to her. plus the lyric "look at the stars, look how they shine for you" is totally something remus would think, esp while stargazing which is a reoccurring hobby for them and something syd loves to do.
its also just my fave color and such a pretty song ugh