-London POV
"You need to talk to your daughter." Twan said as he sat across the table from me. I smacked my teeth, "I did talk to her, Antwan. It ended in her leaving. I don't even know where the hell she is."
"You weren't talking. You were damn near degrading her. Made her choose between having a place to stay and keeping a baby. Do you know how hard that shit gotta be on a child?"
"Grown enough to Make a baby but not grown enough to get a lecture? Gotcha!"
"Imagine ya mama had this much hate towards you when you were pregnant with Lei. Yeah she might've been mad for a little bury she didn't kick you out. She didn't give you an ultimatum. You making your own daughter not wanna speak to you again London. How is that helping her?"
"That's your problem. You don't know how to discipline your kids. Which is why she always come crying to you. Why're you sitting here acting like her being pregnant is cool? It's not ! This is the shit I was trying to keep her away from , Antwan. What don't you get?! I don't want her like me. Which is why I'm like this with her."
"That's a terrible excuse. Honestly. You can discipline her without taking it to the point where she don't even trust you. Don't even feel like she can come to talk to you. That's beyond discipline. You talk to that girl like you hate her, London."
"You're exaggerating. To a whole other level."
"I am? Really ? It's sad that you can't even see when you're in the wrong."
"IM in the wrong? I didn't put her in that bed with that boy and I damn sure didn't force her to get pregnant. This not on me. If she wants to talk , she can come back over here and we'll talk. It's simple."
"Simple ? She is scared to talk to you. She does not want to come back here and ion blame her. You gon disown ya daughter and then say how easy it is to make up. Are you for real?"
"Disown? I would never disown her.."
"Damn near did. That is your daughter. Not ya home girl. You can't fight with her one day and then make up the next. That shit you said to her was foul and you need to fix it. You're the adult here. Fix it."
I sighed, because I knew he was right. Lani's & I relationship has gone so down hill. I don't even know why honestly. Little arguments here and there over dumb stuff is normal with your daughter, but going days without speaking to each other & arguing like we hate each other ? That's not normal. I hate it took her leaving the house while pregnant for me to realize that. She didn't deserve that shit from me.
If anything , I should've been the one person in her life she felt comfortable coming to with her pregnancy. But me being big , stubborn London, I just had to push her completely out.
For all I know she's on her last strike with me and don't even wanna talk no more and I don't even blame her. I wouldn't talk to me either..
I nodded, "I hear you Antwan. Ima fix it."
"I'm serious, London."
"I am too. You think I wanted to push her away?"
"Of course I don't think that, but I do know how you get sometimes. You just gotta fix that shit G. Fa real. For the sake of you and ya daughter's relationship."
"Alright... ima try."
"Yo ass better do more than just try. This past just trying."
"Okay nigga I get it. Damn. Always pushin."
He chuckled, "but nah for real, you can do it. Just a matter of being patient with her. Especially now."
I didn't know how I was gonna start. I couldn't just show up uninvited to wherever in the world she is..
At this point we need counseling and I am so willing to do it if it meant fixing this broken ass family. I'm with it. 100%.
"You gon tell me where she is or do I gotta put outta amber alert?" I aid for twan. I knew he knew exactly where she was. "Why you think I would know where she is?"
"She trusts you more, so, I'm guessing she confides in you more. Meaning, you know where she is & you're going to help me."
"I think she needs some space before you just try and mommy her right now. She's pissed & prolly not tryna hear what you want to say."
"That doesn't matter right now. I need her to know I'm sorry."
"Are you fa real tho?"
"Of course I'm fa real, Antwan. How you go from encouraging me to saying I need to wait?"
"Because I know Milan & I know you.... So I know that if you try and rush into it, it's gon come off as youn care, she gon notice, and then we back at square one."
"I do care. If I didn't care, I wouldn't be doing this."
"I'm hearing you, but she not gon be hearing you like this. So chill for a while."
"Antwan.... I gotta do it now. Cause wonder if she not tryna hear me later? Waiting until it's too late is 10x worse."
He sighed and gave in, "Aight.. gon head."
________
-Milan POV
I was sitting outside of the abortion clinic contemplating. I know I said I wouldn't give the baby up, but in all honesty I have no idea what I'm doing.
Damn near have no place to stay.
My job is not enough to support two people.
I have no support system .... Nothing.
It wouldn't even be fair for me to raise a child in conditions like this. Not fair to me nor the baby. I took a deep breath in as I opened the car door and was about to go walk inside, but my phone rang in my purse. I went through my purse and pulled it out.
It was my mom.
She was the last person I wanted to hear from. Like the absolute LAST person.
I declined her call back to back but she just kept calling so I finally just answered, "hello?" I said.
"Milan.. hey. I'm glad you answered... can we talk?"
"Im a lil busy right now..."
"Busy doing what?"
"Exactly what you wanted. Im getting rid of it. I know you elated as hell behind this phone, huh?"
"What I said was inappropriate and insensitive, Milan... this isn't what I want at all. I want you to come back home so we can figure this out together."
I opened my car door and got back inside, "you want me to come back home? After literally kicking me out and telling me I had to abort my baby? And now you wanna be a mother all of a sudden? How that work?"
"It was wrong ... I know & I'm sorry."
"Ya apology is not accepted. You only doing this to make yourself feel like a decent human being. This "apology" isn't for me, it's for you. Cause it obviously wasn't too wrong if you did it."
"What more do you want me to do Milan? I'm telling you I'm sorry and that I want you back at home. I don't know what else I can do."
"Start by getting some therapy. Ion know what trauma you went through as a teenager & dragged it up into adulthood with you, but you need to let it go. I'm not accepting no apologies or nothin till I see you trying to change."
"I'll do it, but I want you to do it too. Both of us have shit we gotta work on Milan. This not just a one man thing."
"I'm good."
"You're not though. You gon have to admit that you got problems too & then we can start there."
I sighed, "okay I got problems.... There. Now what we doing from here?"
"Counseling? Full family counseling, because lord knows me need it. Anything to fix whatever this is. Ima put my all into it if you do too."
".....okay. I'll do it."
"& Milan please don't listen to me and get rid of the baby just because I said to. Do what's best for you & know that you can come back to raise it..."
"I hear you. I gotta go. Bye." I hung up and put my phone in my lap. I took another deep breath in to calm my nerves.
I put the car in drive and drove away from the clinic.
I know I'm not gon regret this.
I know I'm not gon regret this.
gotta keep telling myself that to keep me sane.