It's been an hour since you were on the phone with Jaemin; it was one of those stressful days and you were currently complaining to him about how your partner wouldn't reply quickly and that you have to do all the research and editing on your own.
"Just wait for her to reply, maybe she's busy or something and we can't really do anything about it."
"Yeah, but I wanna finish this as soon as possible. Why couldn't Ms.Cha make this project as an individual work? I wouldn't have to deal with a procrastinator who only knows playing games and delaying school projects that are as important as this one."
"y/n, calm down. Calm down, please." Jaemin spoke gently.
You were almost fuming right now and all you wanted to do was to throw your laptop away. You were tired, tired of waiting for a text back, tired of staying up late at night to make sure that you researched enough accurate information, and you were tired of planning out a schedule that would only be destroyed. All of those things, you did alone, just to hear that your partner fell asleep and hadn't done anything at all for god's sake.
"Who wouldn't be annoyed by that? If you were in my place, you'd understand."
"How about I come to your place and distract you, would that make you feel better?"
Your emotions were still in a bad condition, but who would ever reject Na Jaemin's offer? "Sure."
"Are you sure you don't need my help? Like, even just a little bit of my contribution?"
"No, nana. It's fine, it should be her who needs to help me."
Leaving him no reason to argue anymore, all he had to do now was to distract you...and if he was lucky enough, he'd convince you to let him help.
Obviously, it wasn't a success.
-
That occurrence happened two weeks ago, but never would you have imagined that it'd turn upside down in a blink of an eye. You and Jaemin had a great friendship, he was always supportive of you despite both of you being stubborn sometimes, but arguing with him? That was the last thing you wanted, yet why did it happen so suddenly like this?
Jaemin stood in front you; irateness evident in his strong gaze. He was annoyed, clearly he had already expected this to happen. He wanted to tell you once and for all that you were wrong and that you should change the way you see yourself.
You, on the other hand, were at a loss for words at the current event. The look on his face shows how serious he was and all you could think of was, did I do something wrong? I needed the answers.
"Nana..." You trailed off.
"No, y/n.", Jaemin shook his head. "The way you see it is wrong, stop pushing everyone away."
"But it's my life and I like doing things alone. Is it that bad that we have to fight about it?"
He moved his head back before grabbing your shoulders, giving you a concerned look. "Why are you like that? Why do you always think that you have to do everything on your own, y/n?"
That question, not even yourself could answer it.
"Why do you have to be so hard on yourself? Can't you slow down and take a break...for me? It makes me anxious knowing that you're staying up late for school, I don't even know if you're taking proper meals at this point. Please, y/n. Let me be there for you."
This time, his eyes expressed a gentle yet worried feeling towards you. You didn't want to be weak and vulnerable in front of him, not even yourself, but the way he regarded you broke your heart into pieces. You were on the verge of breaking down, but the tears were faster to fall down your cheeks.
"I don't deserve you, I don't deserve anyone."
Delicately, Jaemin pulled you in his arms giving you a sense of security. "If I say I love you, not as a friend but romantically, will you let me love you?" He confessed.
His words almost fell on deaf ears, so many things were running through your mind that you couldn't comprehend his confession the first few seconds. When you did, you swore you felt your heart skip a beat and your throat felt dry all of a sudden.
"But, I can't love you." You muttered, unsure.
"You don't have to love me back, just let me take care of you."
The room became peacefully silent, so silent that you can almost hear the sound of Jaemin's heartbeat through his chest. During that moment, you were pensive about the whole situation.
"I guess...", you started. "I guess I can love you." Your arms involuntarily tightened around his body and he did the same.
Jaemin left a kiss on top of your head, before resting his chin on it. "Thank you, my y/n."
His y/n; you loved the sound of it.
-
The next few weeks felt different, but it was a good change. You allowed him to stay by your side and he made sure you were comfortable with his actions, most especially being comfortable with him.
On certain mornings, Jaemin would visit you in your classroom to leave some snacks on your desk before classes would start. At first, you wondered why he did that for you since you weren't really expecting anything special from him. He then explained that he only did that out of worry in case you hadn't eaten breakfast yet. He knew that you would sometimes skip meals whenever an exam was coming up.
He would also remind you to rest during your free times and if you don't oblige, he'd force you to do so. Since then, you learned to take enough rest and spend more time for yourself. You missed out so much and you were beyond thankful to Jaemin.
Losing friends was one thing, but he encouraged you to make friends with his friends as a headstart. His friends, namely Renjun, Mark, and Haechan, were very welcoming and amiable towards you which you highly appreciated. It made you realize that in order to build friendships, you have to make time for the people you love. All it takes is time.
-
Exactly two months later, the results of the exam were finally returned. This exam was very important to you considering that this held the highest percentage on your grading system.
Ms. Jang handed you your checked exam paper and the number inside the red circle captured your attention. You gazed at it, "99/100."
The first person that came to your mind after passing the exam was no other than Na Jaemin. You wanted to give him the biggest hug when you get to see him later, you needed to apprise him of his help. You had enough sleep, you ate all your meals well and you managed your studies better this time.
As soon as classes ended, you met up with him at the park. You scanned the area for any sign of his figure and you spotted him sitting down alone on a bench. Sneaking behind him, you wrapped your arms around his neck from behind and he immediately stood up in excitement.
"y/n, you're finally here." He grinned at you with his famous heavenly smile.
Walking around and in front of him, you scrutinized his facial features as he anticipated for your next move. You glanced up at him innocently and the look in your eyes urged him to pull you in for a kiss right then and there, but he held himself back.
Just as he was about to break the silence, you slowly embraced him while burying your face on his chest. Jaemin hesitated to return the action, knowing well that you were uncomfortable with skinship. However, you consented him and gave him the signal to wrap his arms around you.
"Please hold me, nana."
Jaemin softened from your delicate words, the nickname becoming more special to him now.
"Thank you for taking care of me and for not leaving my side. Because of you, I learned that I don't have to do everything on my own and that doing things together with someone isn't as bad as I thought it was. Life feels so much better this way, especially with you." You let out a soft giggle, "I missed out so much, didn't I?"
"Not everything." Jaemin pulled you in tighter, "I'm glad I have you and you have me, I would've regretted it if you were in someone else's arms."
The fact that you perfectly fit in his arms and the feeling of you comfortably resting on him was too good to be true, he didn't want to let go. It was enough for Jaemin to be in your presence now, even when you probably still didn't see him the same way he sees you. Romantically. He respected your decisions and all he cared for was your happiness and health, even if he was just a best friend to you.
You'll always be his y/n, no matter what.
"Is this what 'love' feels like? It's a new feeling, but I like it. I love this, I love being with you. I love you, Na Jaemin."
You were deeply gratified to have him support you as a friend and as a special someone. Life is not something to rush on, we have to slow down our pace, balance our personal life with education, and enjoy the simple things around us while they last.
"I thought I was doing fine by myself, but why am I feeling like this? What did I do wrong?" Jaemin didn't give you the answer, he was the answer.
_______
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✨dennise✨