Rafe awoke to the incessant ring of his blasted cell phone and growled low in his throat, wishing he had thought to put the evil device on silent before going to sleep as he rolled lazily to the side so he could reach it on the dresser.
It stopped ringing before he could so much as accept the call so he just flopped back down and sighed into his pillow, his body going flax as he tried to will himself back to sleep but no avail as the tiny device started up another ringing marathon that gave him the urge to strangle it.
He reached for it and pressed accept but not before screaming into his pillow at the injustice of not being able to enjoy a day off. "Hello, De' Notti here. Good morning."
Good morning my ass...
"Rafe!" Came the crazed shout. "Rafe is that you? It's me, Natasha. Are you awake?"
He tisked and face palmed himself. "Of course I'm awake, woman. How do you think I answered the blasted phone?"
"Oh thank god! I've called you at least twenty times for Christ sake." she screeched into his ear. "You have to get over here right now, Rafe. Brookoff is here and he's raising hell over Andre. Please hurry!"
He sprang up out of his bed as if shot out of a cannon, his sleep blown to shit and started throwing clothes left and right. "What kind of hell?" he shouted into the phone as he picked out a white shirt to go with his slacks. "What are you talking about? Speak up Fenty!"
"Someone went into Dre's room last night and...and-. Oh god, I can't even say it. Don't make me say it, Rafe, please! I just can't believe...I just..."
His eyes widened and he gripped the phone as if for dear life. "Natasha, stay with me please! What happened to him? What happened to Andre? Oh god please tell me he's alive. Tell me, damn you!"
"He's gone, Rafe." she whisper yelled. "Someone came into his room during the night shift and took him!"
"What?" his breathing faltered and his heart stopped its erratic beat, a testament to his shock and dread. "No." he whispered, his fists clenching. Then, louder. "No, that's not true. Stop making things up. I won't listen to your lies. You've been in on it the whole time. I should have known better than to trust you. Put Andre on the phone this second!"
An uncontrollable sobbing began before abruptly stopping and his phone beeped, signaling the end of the call.
"God dammit!" he seethed through clenched teeth as he shoved his feet into his shoes. "I am going to kill that little slut!" Stuffing his wallet, keys and phone into his pockets, he headed for his front door at a dead run, slamming it shut on his way out and not even caring if it was locked.
The drive to the hospital was the scariest of his life. He had run five red lights and nearly ran over three people on his quest to get there sooner. But he didn't care about that. He just wanted to see Andre with his own eyes and make certain he was okay. Anything less would break his heart.
He had fallen in love with his fragile angel.
When he arrived, he parked right in front of a hydrant, not giving a rat's ass about a ticket. He already had five from the red lights he had run so what was one more? Slamming his car door shut and not caring about the subsequent shattering of glass, he ran into the looming building, his heart thumping sporadically, his feet pounding on the tiled floors.
Reaching the room, Rafe pushed the door open so hard it collided with the wall and reverberated loudly in the emptiness within. He looked frantically from left to right, knowing the room was empty but stupidly hoping he would see Andre peek out of some corner.
But he didn't.
Pivoting on his heels, he stormed out, his next destination, the office. Once again, he took to the tiled floors like a track runner, not stopping till he was upon the group standing just outside the office door.
"Where is he?" he asked, addressing everyone and no one all at once. "Why is his room empty? Tell me where he is! And don't think to lie to my face."
Brookoff stepped forward from amidst the crowd and put a comforting hand to his shoulder. Rafe looked at him, puzzled. Just last night he'd spoken with him from the resort so how was he back so quick?
"We have looked everywhere, Rafe." Daniel said quietly. "We can no longer ignore the fact that he might have been kidnapped."
"K-kidnapped?" He wanted to cry. Throw himself to the floor and curl up and cry his fuking eyes out but Rafe knew that wouldn't help the situation as it was. "How?" he asked hoarsely, his eyes condemning them all.
"How can someone make off with him and not be sighted? Andre can't walk so he must have been wheeled out of here. Are you going to stand there and tell me no one saw anything? God damn you. God damn you all. Why do you even work here? You should all be fired for your uselessness. Right after I rearrange all your faces and make you see cross eyed!"
"Notti, you will apologize this very second for your blatant disrespect!" Brookoff yelled, his nostrils flaring.
"Apologize?" he scoffed. "Apologize for what? These people before you only pretend to care for Andre because you are here and they need to keep up appearances but I know better. They allowed his abuse and did nothing. They allowed his pain and did nothing. They allowed him to be taken away and possibly killed and did nothing. They did nothing!"
With each word he uttered, his voice just seemed to increase in both volume and fervor. His heart was pounding much too fast for his liking and his lungs seemed to have seized and refused to allow him the breath he so desperately needed.
He pressed his face into Natasha's and growled. "You knew he was important to me. You knew! I told you to watch him. I told you to make sure he never had a need of anything. I told you to protect him, Natasha. You let me down!"
Clutching his chest, he sobbed out loud, his cry, one of agony which tore at his very being. His eyes widened and he collapsed, crumpled, his weight falling abruptly onto his knees as he knelt on the hard tiled floors.
His hand to his heart, Rafe looked up at his boss, his eyes glittering with amounting tears. "I think imma faint." He whispered in surprise, his body falling to the floor as darkness claimed him.
~~~~~~
A cold hand to his forehead...a slight kiss to his cheek...a small whimper and a quiet sob...a single teardrop splashing onto his chin. Those were the things which brought Rafe slowly back to awareness.
Opening his eyes, he rolled toward the sound of the soft weeping and froze, his heart stuttering within his chest, his mind going blank with confusion for what he saw before him could only be a figment of his imagination, conjured up to torment him.
Or at least, that's what he thought it was...until Andre smiled tremulously at him, his lower lip quivering softly, an aftermath to his earlier crying.
He reached out a hand, unsure, but quickly brought it back down and shook his head as if to clear it of its befuddled thoughts. "I have to stop thinking about him so much." He mumbled, scrubbing a hand to his face. "I'm...I'm going crazy."
Sitting up, Rafe surveyed his surroundings, only now realizing he was in one of the rooms at the hospital and that he no longer wore his shoes. And then...he remembered why he was here and how he'd collapsed in utter exhaustion before he could start slapping people for being so useless.
A whisper of a touch to his back...another whimper. "Rafe?"
He swerved, his body coming up and around to face what he had so swiftly dismissed as an imaginary summoning and froze. He...he was still there!
With his eyes, he caressed every inch of the angel on the bed, his heart hammering and slamming his poor ribs to death at the tempting picture he presented, rising up from his relaxed pose to face him. "I was so worried about you, Rafe." came the soft whisper.
Rafe reached up, his hand mere inches from the angelic face that drew near and beckoned him to come hither. "Please be real." he pleaded, closing his eyes, his palm seeking the contact of skin. "Please..."
When his palm connected to the soft planes of Andre's face, Rafe let out the breath he had been holding in a long exhalation of relief and awe. "I thought I would never see you again." he said shakily as he opened his eyes to gaze into the chocolate pools he had come to adore.
"Shh," came the whisper against his lips. "I'm here now, Rafe. Please don't cry for me."
Odd, how he hadn't realized he was crying until Andre sought to console him. But...how could he help but be emotional? He was already running on borrowed time with him and he didn't want to waste a single precious minute.
"I'm never leaving your side again." Rafe said vehemently. "I left your side and look at what happened to you. You could have died!"
Andre cupped his cheeks and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. "I was never in any danger, Rafe." He said, his lips twitching with a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. "And I'm-I'm dying anyway. What difference does it make if it's now or later?"
Rafe pounded his fist into the mattress on either side of his body. "Stop saying that to me!" he roared. "Don't you ever let me hear you say that, again. You are not dying, dammit! Why do you always revert to putting yourself down and wishing yourself dead? Are you trying to make me angry?"
Andre turned his face away from Rafe if only for a moment to compose himself. He didn't understand his strong feelings of love toward someone he had barely known for ten days but they were there and they scared him.
He could never explain, even to himself, why it was that he allowed himself to be pulled in, to be wooed, to be kissed...How he had so wantonly writhed beneath him that day a week ago and felt the sweet pleasure of release. He had fallen so easily and he didn't even know how it happened.
God, how embarrassing!
"I don't wish myself dead." He mumbled. "I'm just a man who is resigned to his fate. Why should I give myself false hope if when all is said and done, the inevitable will occur? How can I live accepting my fate if you can't?"
"Because I don't want you to die!" Rafe took his chin gently and tilted his face up so he couldn't miss his next words. "You should always have hope, Andre." He said softly. "Even when it seems there's none left, that's when it's at its strongest. Don't give up on your life. Not now when I find myself so desperately in love with you..."
No, no, no, no, no! This was all wrong. All wrong!
Andre reared back and away from him, his mouth falling open on an epitaph. "Take it back." he said firmly, shaking his head in denial. He had so longed to hear those words fall from someone's lips. He had so longed for someone to look upon him with an open heart.
But not like this...Never like this..."You have to take it back." he said again. "You can't love me. You can never love me."
"I have given you my heart." Rafe yelled into his face, his eyes filling with tears of anger and rejection. "You can't just give it back to me, Andre. Do you hear me? I forbid it!"
His own eyes filled with tears much to his eternal horror and he wished he could better temper his emotions when it came to Rafe but he found he couldn't. They ran far deeper than he could imagine, far too deep for him to salvage what sanity he might have had.
He was hopelessly in love and there would be no turning back.
Clearing his throat, he raised his watery eyes to Rafe's amber green ones. "I wasn't kidnapped last night." He whispered. "I went of my own free will. I had to be sure I could be with you for longer than a mere passing."
Rafe's eyes glittered and he smiled widely. "Wait...So you do love me too? Maybe even a little?"
"Yes." came the simple answer. "I don't know where I'd be if you hadn't walked into my life. I don't care if my love for you was only brought on because you saved me or that I have a misguided sense of want and need due to what I've been through. It feels right to me somehow. So, I want to hold it to me for as long as I can. But...I can't be selfish. I can't hold you to me knowing I won't be here for the rest of...I...I need more time to-."
Rafe's lips upon his own, set his mind awhirl and he was swept away by the heat of his kiss, the warmth of his broad shoulders as he embraced him, the low growl of pleasure that vibrated against his mouth.
He had not told him. But he knew it was only a matter of time before he did. What would Rafe say then? How would he feel then? Would he still love him, knowing his days were so very few?
The arsenic that now flowed through his body had all but hammered the final nail on his coffin. It had taken him over. Hope?...there was none. He knew that now.
Closing his eyes tight, he gave himself over to his feelings and kissed Rafe as though he kissed him for the very last time, as though this was his only chance to do so. And...maybe...it was.
His heart cried out in sorrow but he only heard his joyous cry of love and release as Rafe moved against him, blanketing his body with the warmth of his own. It was the beginning of the end and it was all he could do not to break down.
Restare con me per sempre perche senza di te non ho nulla.
Stay with me forever for without you I have nothing...
======
Yo Andre, when is that chafing gonna heal? Speed it up will ya? Rafe wants to feed you some grade A sausage. *snickers* um...i mean...uh, you know...*cough* OH LOOK IT'S ONE DIRECTION! *runs away*
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