^don't play the song until I say so
⚠trigger warning⚠
⚠mention of suicide/ cutting/ and overuse of medicine⚠
if this topic triggers you, please don't read, and if you face any similar problem please talk to someone, my dms are always open.
you are worth living, don't let anyone change that
I will put '⚠' when the warning starts and when you see a picture of Jaden, it means the warning is over
Skip three months (I swear this is the last time skipping time)
Lily's POV
I finished school two weeks ago and today me, Kouvr, and Josh are moving to LA.
I will be living in the apartment we rented last time, while Josh will be living in a content house called 'Sway LA' with Bryce, Anthony and some other tiktok boys
and Kouvr, Addison, and Avani are going to be living in a content house called 'Hype House'
I'm excited to live alone.
In these three months, I learned how to drive, I released two new songs 'One Whole Day' and 'Roommates'
Jaden and Mads are still dating, and honestly at the moment I don't care, but I still love him and I always imagine myself in the place of Mads
"Lily are you ready?" Josh said walking into my room
"yeah just taking a last look, at my room" I said smiling sadly
"come on we're gonna miss our flight" Josh said
I nodded and made sure I didn't forget anything
"ok I'm ready" I said grabbing my suitcases
"help please, I can't hold all of these" I said referring to the huge three suitcases I had
Josh already took 4 suitcases to LA last time he went there
He took one with me, while I carried the other one
"ready for a new start?" Kouvr asked as we reached the bottom of the stairs
I smiled and nodded
we ordered an uber to the airport and made sure we got everything
Skip till they arrive to LA
"LILY I MISSED YOU SO MUCH" Avani said running to me
her and Anthony moved here two weeks ago
"I missed you more" I said hugging her tightly
"come on, I organized your clothes and cleaned the apartment for you" she said smiling
"thank you so much Avani" I said hugging her again
we drove home using Avani's car, she dropped Josh at sway, while her and Kouvr came with me to the apartment
Skip one week (ok for real this time, it's the last time)
⚠warning⚠
Jaden's POV
I've been cutting a lot recently. no one knows though. they don't need to, no one cares
my mental health is so much worse, but I always said that I'm fine
I hate myself. I hate my life. I want to die
I don't want to live anymore. I can't live knowing that I hurt Lily
Josh told me that she cried for two weeks daily.
I can't believe I caused her to feel this pain
I want to kill myself
I grabbed my phone from my nightstand and opened to Lily's contact
My princess❤️😍
I was never able to change her name. I want to text her, and tell her how much I love her, and how much I'll miss her
My princess❤️😍
hey princess, I want to tell you something. I love you. I never stopped loving you. I only dated Mads for clout. I never loved her, or even liked her. every time I was with her I was thinking about you. every time we filmed tiktoks, I would imagine that she is you.
I've been cutting a lot recently. My mental health is awful. I cry myself to sleep every day knowing that I hurt you. I'm sorry Lily, but I can't do it anymore. I can't live knowing that I hurt you. I just wanted to tell you that I love you so much, more than words can describe. Tell mom and dad, Haley and Sophie that I love them and that I'll miss them. I love you princess and I'll miss you so much. good bye my love❤
Delivered at 8:29 pm
I threw my phone on the bed and walked to the bathroom.
I deserve this pain. I deserve dying
I grabbed some pills from the cabinet
goodbye world
I chugged the whole bottle in my mouth. I started feeling dizzy and everything became blurry
next thing I knew, everything became black
3rd person's POV
Josh have been trying to text Jaden and call him, but he wasn't answering.
he started getting really worried about him. He was the only one that knew, that Jaden was always getting suicidal thoughts.
he tried getting rid of these thoughts, that Jaden maybe did something to himself, but he couldn't, so he scrolled through tiktok for a while, maybe this can get his mind off his best friend
Lily's POV
I was filming tiktoks with Avani and Addison, then I got a message.
"go see who it is" Addison said. I shook my head
"let's film this tiktok, I'll check it later, it probably Josh or something" I said replaying the sound on Avani's phone
after filming about 10 tiktoks, I grabbed my phone to see who texted
Jaden
I opened the message quickly
tears started welling up in my eyes as I read it.
no no this can't be happening. we promised each other that we won't end our lives
"Lily are you okay?" Avani said noticing the tears
I shook my head quickly and went to Josh's contact
I pressed call waiting for him to reply with tears streaming down my face
"hey Lily" Josh said
"Josh there's no time, come pick me up, we have to go see Jaden" I said running downstairs to put my shoes on
"why? what happened?" he said worried
"Josh, I'll tell you later come pick me up quickly" I said trying to control my breathing so I don't have a panic attack
"tell me what happened!" he said slightly yelling
"Jaden may dead now! this is what happened!" I yelled back sobbing quietly
"I'm on my way" he said before hanging up
I opened Jaden's contact and pressed call. it went to voicemail directly.
No Jaden please don't do it
My fuckin rockstar🎸❤
Jaden please don't do it.
delivered at 8:34
please I can't live without you
delivered at 8:34
I love you, please don't leave me
delivered at 8:35
Someone knocked on the door making me run to it. I opened and saw Josh standing there
"come on quickly" I said sniffling and grabbing his hand
I pulled him to the car and got in
"what exactly happened?" Josh asked as he started the car
"he sent me a message, saying he can't do it anymore and that he was cutting and hurting himself" I said with a crack in my voice
"don't worry, it'll be okay" Josh said speeding up
we arrived to Jaden's apartment and ran to the elevator
we knocked on the door and no one opened.
"Jaden please open the door!" I yelled starting to panic
"do you have a key?" I asked Josh
he shook his head. I let out a sigh and continued banging on the door
"wait, I have one!" I said opening my bag
"please be in here, please be in here" I said searching for it in my bag
"I found it!" I said removing it from the bag
I quickly opened the door and ran inside with Josh behind me
^Play song now
I ran to his room and opened the door. I saw his phone on the bed and the lights turned on in the bathroom
I ran to the bathroom and there he is
Jaden's lifeless body laying on the ground with an empty bottle of medicine next to him
I kneeled down next to him and grabbed him close
"No Jaden, please wake up, don't leave me" I said shaking him
"Josh call the ambulance quickly!" I yelled with more tears streaming down my face
"Jaden, baby, please wake up, I love you come on baby you can do it" I said shaking him
he didn't move. I pulled him to my chest and hugged him tightly
"please don't go" I whispered hugging him tighter
"the ambulance are on their way" Josh said
I nodded and kept Jaden in my arms
^mention is over
the ambulance arrived after 2 minutes. they took Jaden from my arms
"please let me go with you!" I told the people that took Jaden
"what are you to him?" she asked
"I'm his girlfriend" I said hopefully she will agree
"okay get in" she said letting me in the van
"Josh call the others!" I yelled before the women closed the door of the van
they put for Jaden the breathing machine because his breathing was so weak
"will he wake up?" I asked the lady
"I don't know dear, hopefully he will" she said rubbing my back
I grabbed his hand and rubbed circles on it
"come on baby, you can do it" I said brushing the hair of his face
we arrived to the hospital. they quickly got Jaden inside
"Please can I go with him" I begged the doctor
"I'm sorry, I can't let you in" he said before closing the door of the surgery room
I let out a sigh and wiped my tears. I grabbed my phone and dialed Amy's number
"hello?" she said
"hey Amy, it's Lily" I said sniffling
"hey Lily, are you crying dear, what's the matter?" she asked worried
"Jaden" was all I managed to say before tears started falling out of my eyes again
"is he okay what happened to him?" she asked with a sense of concern in her voice
"he's in the hospital" I said quiet sobs leaving my lips
"oh my god, I'm on my way" she said before hanging up
I sat on the chair and leaned my head against the wall.
Amy and John came running into the hospital
"where's he? where's my son" Amy said crying
"he's in the surgery" I mumbled wiping my tears with the sleeve of my hoodie
she pulled me into a hug as I sobbed into her chest
"it's my fault, I should've answered the phone when he texted, maybe I would've known that he's gonna kill himself" I said crying more as Amy and John rubbed my back
"it's not your fault dear, he's gonna be okay" John said
"Lily!" someone yelled getting my attention.
I turned around and saw Avani and Addison
I ran to them and hugged him
"don't worry he's gonna be okay" Addison said rubbing my back
a/n: not my sensitive ass crying
huge credits to @_itskia_for giving me this idea. it's awesome.
I HIT 10 FUCKING K ON THE STORY AND I'M SO HAPPY RN
I wanted to say something. you are not alone. if you face any problem talk to someone, hurting yourself will not help. you are worth living, and if you think no one cares, I do, even if I don't know you. you are beautiful as you are and don't let anyone change your opinion about yourself
if you haven't read my Kio Cyr, Noah Beck, and Blake Gray stories make sure you do
don't forget to vote so I know you want an update, and to comment your opinions on the chapter
I love y'all so much
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