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*
Possibly two or three chapters (including the Epilogue) left, maybe less! :(
Those of you who previously read Belong Together, trust me, nothing is guaranteed to be the same, so what you think you know might not happen this time around. ;) Only I know this time.
I wish to finish this series will I'm still happy with it, and I think this will be the right time. Possibly, only two or three chapters left now, after this one.
Thank you for this amazing journey, all of you. Thank you @MehweenGR and @shraddhakim , for encouraging me to write this. Without your khayali pillao, Mehween, this story wouldn't exist. I never thought Zafar and Fariha would get this much love.
****
****
Fariha
"Mamma!" Omar wiped the cheek that I'd just kissed him on with his sleeve. "Everyone's watching." His cheeks turned pink.
"I don't care!" I said, tearfully, kissing his other cheek as well. "You're going away from me for two nights!"
"Papa, tell her. My friends will make fun of me." Omar looked at Zafar, helplessly.
"Omar, you're going away for the first time. She's your mother. Let her display her emotions." He told my eldest child.
"Fine." Omar shrugged. "But no more kisses. I'm a big boy, Mamma."
"You'll..."
"Always be my baby." He and Zafar finished for me in unison, before laughing.
We were in the parking lot of Omar's school, where the coaches were waiting for the kids. Zafar and I had come to drop him off, and it was not easy for me.
"The teacher is waving the students over." Zafar said. "Fari, we should leave now."
"I want to stay until the coaches drive away." I insisted. My heart was already sinking at the idea of my boy being away from me for two nights. He had stayed over at his Nana Jaan and Nano's house before, but that was different. Even Bhai had been there then. Now he was going with basically a bunch of strangers.
I recited Ayat-ul-Kursi over him and blew it all over him. "May Allah protect you and safely bring you back to us. Ameen. And if the driver drives too fast, especially in the mountain area, let Papa know when you get to Islamabad, and he'll call up the school to deal with it."
Zafar and Omar exchanged grins.
"Stop it! I'm just worried." I said, defensively.
"I am under Allah's protection, Mamma. I'll be fine, In Sha Allah." Omar gave me a hug. "If you miss me too much, play with Zaid. He always keeps you distracted when you're sad."
"Mera bacha. Meri jaan, meri puri duniya." I burst into fresh tears, and unable to help myself, I kissed his forehead. "Mamma loves you so much."
*"My son. My life, my whole world."
As of yet, I was glad I didn't have any daughters. I was finding it difficult to send my nine-years-old son for two nights! How was I supposed to give birth to, and then raise, a girl to adulthood and send her away from me? I know people always did that, but I couldn't even imagine it. I remember how my own Ammi cried for days after my first marriage. I knew that because each time we spoke on the phone, she cried. For my second marriage, however, she was too relived that I was finally happy.
Reluctantly, we said goodbye to Omar, and returned to our car, with Zafar still cradling Zaid.
"Fariha, you're crying like he's a soldier being deployed." Zafar teased me as we got in the car and he handed our baby son over to me.
"You won't understand." I kissed the top of Zaid's head to comfort myself.
"Nau mahinay paala hai andar, bada kiya hai usay. Usay dour jaatay huay dekh kar maa ke dil pe kya beet ti hai, aap ko kya pata?" Zafar joked.
*"I raised him inside me for nine months, and I raised him. Seeing him go far away from me, what my maternal heart goes through, what would you know about it?"
"Mazak uda rahay hain aap mera?" I frowned.
*"Are you making fun of me?"
"Actually, I'm trying to cheer my wife up." He said. "Two days will pass by quickly, In Sha Allah." He paused. "Waise, main soch raha tha. Aap ke Papa bhi akele hain aur chotiyan hai unki is hafte, to aap kuch dinon un ke paas reh aayain? Jab Omar waapis aayega, In Sha Allah, main usay wahine chodh doon ga."
*"I was thinking. Your father is alone, and he has days off this week, so why don't you go and stay with him for a few days? When Omar comes back, In Sha Allah, I will drop him off there as well."
"Are you trying to get rid of me?" I smiled, touched at his consideration yet again. He genuinely treated my parents like his own.
"Yeah, a guy needs his peace and all." He looked relaxed as he drove.
I know why he was so chilled out and in a good mood: Umair was on the road to be locked away for a very long time. With him in prison, his second wife had made accusations against him for abuse as well, and things were looking truly bad for him. Zafar said that he knew that it was not right to gloat over another person's downfall, but Umair had truly asked for it. And I couldn't agree more.
"You are so awful."
"I love you." He just grinned.
My cheeks warmed up, and I held my Zaid just a little closer. "I love you too, Zafar."
****
Later that day, Zafar drove me, Saad and Zaid to my parents' house. I took Omar's stuff along as well, since he was going to be coming here as well.
I asked him to stay for dinner, but he said that he wasn't comfortable leaving his elderly parents and Mahnoor alone, so he had to go back, which I completely understood.
"Take good care of yourself and the boys." Zafar told me, after Papa had taken the boys inside the house. Because our home was far from here, Zafar had met Papa in the car porch as he had to get back.
"You too. Have your meals on time, and get proper sleep, for Allah's sake!" I put my hands on his shoulders. I glanced towards the main gates where the guard was sitting in his cabin. "Come on, too public here." Taking my husband's hand, I led him down the side of the house towards the back garden. While the Ali family home was beautiful, magnificent (Ma Sha Allah), I was already missing my own veranda, my own home.
It was funny. I just to pace around this garden, wearing my designer outfits, as I spoke to my friends on the phone, completely at home in this world. But now, now I genuinely felt like a guest here, even though it was the house where I grew up.
"I'm going to miss you, Zafar." I told my husband, as I hugged him goodbye once we were out of sight.
"I'm going to miss you too. But you never insist of coming to stay the night, and on his days off, your Papa must get lonely." He said.
I nodded. "Bhai asked him to come to him, but Papa wanted to spend his holidays here, at home."
"Yes, there's just something else about spending your holidays at home. Sure, travelling sounds nice and all, but home is home, yaar. Especially when the wife and the kids are not around." He winked at me.
I rolled my eyes. "Papa's used to not having his kids around. He's used to it just being him and Ammi." I felt a little sad as I said that. I suddenly miss the chaos of childhood, where Bhai was always teasing me or pranking me, causing me to run around the house screaming and crying, complaining to Ammi or Papa. "I can't stand two nights of being away from Omar, I can't even imagine how Papa and Ammi feel."
"Well, I'm sure your parents are satisfied with the knowledge that you and Bhai are both happy in your respective family lives." He held both of my hands.
"Am I happy?" I wrinkled my nose, thoughtfully. Two can play the game of teasing.
"You cannot imagine a life without me." He said, before pressing his lips against mine in a very unexpected kiss.
It was true. I loved Zafar more than life itself, and I couldn't imagine life without him. I tangled my fingers through his hair as I kissed him. Rather than of luxury cologne, he smelled of an incredible smelling soap, and this was his regular scent, which I loved so much.
With a final kiss, he turned and left, and I watched his retreating back disappear through the main gate, where his car was parked outside.
****
Zafar
"Acha kiya Fariha aur bachon ko bhaij diya uskay maikay." Ammi Jaan waved her hand fan as she sat in the veranda.
*"You did the right thing by sending Fariha and the kids to her parents' house."
Mahnoor brought out yet another candle and set it onto the ground, beside the other candles. The electricity had stopped shortly after I'd returned home, and I realised, to my horror, that I'd forgotten to pay the bill this month. The only way to fix it would be to pay the bill tomorrow morning, and until then, we'd have to remain without electricity.
"Zaid chota sa hai, tang hota." Ammi Jaan said.
*"Zaid is so small, he would have been uncomfortable."
"The WiFi won't be working for the whole night either?" Mahnoor pouted. "Now, how are we going to manage?"
I'd had WiFi installed mainly for initially the twins' studies, and now for Omar and Saad's studies and entertainment as well.
"Qayamath wi ajaye te tussi logan no ay technology di fikar rawe gi." Ammi Jaan shook her head.
*"Even when the world ends, you people will be worried about this technology."
"Bhai, get a generator installed, please." Mahnoor said. "At least we can have the fans on that way. Now, we have to sleep in this heat."
"This month isn't possible, Mahnoor. Maybe I'll consider it the next month." I rubbed a hand over my face. "Is the food ready, or do you need me to pick something up from a restaurant?"
"No, we prepared it before the lights went out." Mahnoor stood up and took a candle towards the kitchen to get the dinner set up.
"I'll help you. It'll be difficult for you in the dark." I got up and followed her.
"Kash hamare paas bhi Defence main ghar hota." Mahnoor seemed to be speaking to herself as she scooped the curry into a bowl.
*"I wish we had a home in Defence as well."
"Shh!" I warned her. "Do not say that in front of Ammi Jaan and Baba Jaan! Shukar karo, Mano Billi. Sir pe chat hai, teen waqt ki roti milti hai aur puri family saath hai. Sab kuch to hai hamare pass. Yeh choti moti mushkilain to zindagi ka hissa hoti hain."
*"Be grateful, Mano Billi. There's a roof over your head, you get three meals a day, and the whole family is together. We have everything. These little problems are a part of life.
~~Mano Billi: cat/kitten, nickname based on Mahnoor.
I used to call Mahnoor 'Mano Billi' when she was a baby. She always used to remind me of an adorable little kitten. So did Dua, but Mahnoor's name earned her the nickname 'Mano Billi'.
She looked at me, pausing as she placed the bowl on the counter. "I want to get a job."
"Okay, are you looking for something?"
She looked confused. "You're okay with that?"
"Why wouldn't I be? My wife's a doctor. It would be hypocritical of me to feel bad about you getting a job. But do it for yourself, okay, and not because you feel like you have to in order to help out. I'm managing the best that I can." I told her.
"I want to get out of this situation." She held her arms around, gesturing towards the house in general. "I know I should be grateful, but it's not wrong to want a better life. At least, to get a house in a better area."
"I don't know what job you're considering, but it's going to take a lot to actually buy or even rent a home in a better area." I wasn't trying to be mean, just realistic.
"I can't even bring my friends home here, Bhai."
"Why? Because they'd judge you? Mahnoor, if they judge you or mock you for where you live, they're not really your friends then!" I said. "Look at Ahad. Ma Sha Allah, he's wealthy, but when he comes to our place, he acts like he's at home, he's so comfortable. He never, ever mocked me for it. That's how friends should be, real friends."
She nodded, looking thoughtful. "You're absolutely right, Bhai."
"No matter what, Ammi Jaan and Baba Jaan worked hard their whole lives to provide for us. Don't ruin their efforts by criticising the lifestyle they sacrificed so much for. Don't be like Taimoor."
"I'm not, and I'm sorry." She shook her head. "I'm grateful to Baba Jaan and Ammi Jaan for everything."
I patted her head. "By all means look for a job, but in a decent company, okay? I'll try and pick and drop you off, or Fariha could do it, if I'm not available."
She nodded, smiling. "I was thinking that the least I could do is help Ammi Jaan out with her grocery shopping, and other spending."
"That's a very noble thought. May Allah reward you for it. Ameen." I was proud of her. Yes, she sometimes complained, but she was generally a grateful person. When someone explained things to her, she realised her errors and immediately accepted her mistakes.
"I'll try to get an interview, and I will let you know about it."
I nodded. "Yes, that's good. I'll find out whether that company really deserves to have Mahnoor Farukh working for them or not." I laughed lightly, ruffling her hair.
She laughed as well. "Thank you, Bhai."
****
Sadia
I had completely lost interest in doing anything for Ismael, and even for Ibrahim, I had to force myself to do things. It took great effort for me to even get up and change his nappy.
Ismael, I rarely saw. He was always with Ahad, Zoya or Ammi. I don't know why I was feeling that way, until lately, when I have started to realise that I needed to talk to a professional. This wasn't normal behaviour for a mother.
I had made a firm decision regarding myself when Arhaan and his new wife returned home.
"Papa!" Squealing in delight, Ismael rushed towards the door the moment he saw his father enter. I was just walking down the hall from my portion then, and I froze midway.
"Assalam Alaikum!" Arhaan lifted our firstborn up high into the air, before kissing both his cheeks. "How's my little boy?"
Ismael hugged Arhaan tightly, wrapping his little arms around his neck. Clearly, the little guy had missed his Papa a lot.
As everyone greeted Arhaan, he turned and saw me.
"Assalam Alaikum." I greeted him politely, before moving my gaze over to Nazia.
"Walaikum Assalam." They both replied, before Ismael distracted them with his excited stories, all of them about his Chachu and Chachi. The kid really loved Ahad and Zoya.
'Kids will go where they find love and affection.' My mother had told me once, but I hadn't taken her words seriously. I had automatically assumed that just because Ismael was my son, he would automatically be close to be. This wasn't the case. Now it actually felt like he avoided me like the plague or something. It wasn't a good feeling, but I suppose I had asked for it.
****
"I'm going to Toronto." I announced to Arhaan as he came to my portion to see Ibrahim. "You're still my husband, and I think you should know."
He frowned slightly, but didn't look up from our baby son. "What's in Toronto?"
"A special medical centre for those requiring counselling. It was recommended by a senior doctor at the hospital." I explained. "It's a live in centre, almost like a posh hospital, and it has helped a lot of people."
Now he looked at me. "And what do you plan on doing about Ibrahim and Ismael? Ismael is fine, he's older, but what about Ibrahim? The fact is that he is very young and he needs you."
"If I don't get this required counselling, I am not fit to be a mother to them." I told them. "Let me go, Arhaan. This is for the best of everyone, including my own mental wellbeing. I'm sure you and...Nazia...can take care of the boys while I'm gone."
He looked thoughtful. "Look, Sadia, you won't believe it, but the fact is that I care about you because you are the mother of my children, no matter what. Tell me more about this place, le me do my research, and then you're free to do whatever you think is best for you."
"Fine. I accept that."
It was time for me to find the right path, and the first step is to admit that there was something wrong with me, and that I needed professional help. I knew that Arhaan would never see me as a wife again, and our relationship was just on paper, for the sake of the kids, but the least I could hope for was his forgiveness.
****
Fariha
I couldn't sleep that night. I kept tossing and turning, but sleep was far away. I was in my comfortable pre-marriage bedroom, with the air-conditioning on, with every facility and luxury that I could need....but Zafar wasn't there, and this wasn't home.
I sat up, annoyed, and punched the soft pillow. "Ugh! Stupid sleep!"
I was tired, of course, because my normal day was always busy and active, and I craved sleep, but it wasn't happening. I missed Zafar too much. I grabbed my phone from the nightstand and messaged him.
<Fariha: Awake?>
I rolled my eyes. Of course he wasn't awake. He had just as busy a day as me, and he must be sleeping away in our bedroom. Our bedroom. My home. I absolutely had no idea how much I had fallen in love with that place: the veranda, the roof, the cramped kitchen, the sound of the motor running as someone showered; it was all perfection.
My phone vibrated and I couldn't resist a grin as I noticed Zafar's name on the notification.
<Zafar: Of course. It's silent and peaceful. I'm not used to our bedroom being like that!>
My cheeks burned, and my mind froze as it tried to think up of a clever reply.
<Fariha: Enjoy while it lasts. I won't go away from you again and again.>
<Zafar: Sounds like someone is missing me.>
<Fariha: In your dreams.>
<Zafar: Maan jaayein, Fariha Zafar. Aapka ghar wahan hi hai jahaan aap ka dil hai, yaani jahaan main hoon.>
*Admit it, Fariha Zafar. Your home is really where your heart is, meaning where I am.
I have noticed that Zafar has become cheekier, and becoming more so day by day. Ma Sha Allah. I loved this side of him! It was s*xy and sweet at the same time.
I looked around my room, at the life of Fariha Ali. The bedroom had been redecorated when I was eighteen, by some of the top interior designers of the city, according to my likes and choices. It screamed elegance, glamour and luxury, and it used to be my pride. The walls were a gorgeous shade of velvet plum, and the furniture was white, with various items in shades of purple matching the walls, for example the throw cushion in my comfortable armchairs, or the lampshade. I used to love spending time in here whenever I was home.
I had left my parents' house when I'd married Umair at the age of nineteen. This was also when I'd moved to London to study, and he often used to visit me there, loving the opportunity to travel there. But even after my marriage to Umair, and after the birth of my sons, I used to love coming back to this room, because it was again my safe haven from the tensions and abuse that I faced from Umair. I was happy here, and my sons were happy here.
But now that I was incredibly happily married to Zafar, Ma Sha Allah, I didn't want to be back here. I wanted to go home, where Zafar was, where Mahnoor and my parents-in-law were.
<Zafar: So gayain, ya mere khayalon main kho gayain?>
*Have you fallen asleep, or gotten lost in my thoughts?
<Fariha: I was thinking how at peace I'll be without your snoring ;) >
<Zafar: I don't snore!>
<Fariha: Oh really? I think I would know, being the poor victim of those snores!>
<Zafar: You're just messing with me.>
<Fariha: Your motorcycle sounds quieter compared to you. I can record it the next time if you want?>
I was exaggerating. Yes, he snored when he was exhausted, but it was nothing irritating or something that would disturb my sleep. In fact, there were times when I had woken up in the dark after a nightmare, and his gentle snores would sooth me back to sleep like a lullaby.
<Zafar: Fine, but as long as I get to record you talking in your sleep!>
I gasped. I did not talk in my sleep!
<Zafar: The other night you seemed to be having a pretty 18+ dream... ;) >
Oh my God. This man was going to be the death of me.
Cause of death: blushing too hard. At most risk of death: Anytime Zafar says such mischievous things.
A little knock on the door made me look up. "Come in."
The door opened and Saad walked in, rubbing his eyes.
"Saad, what's wrong?" I asked, worriedly. "Did you have a bad dream?"
"I miss Omar Bhai, Mamma." He said, sadly, climbing onto bed beside me and resting his head on my lap as he curled up.
"Aww, mera bacha." I ran my hands through his hair, repeatedly. "Mamma ke paas so jao aap."
*"Sleep beside Mamma."
I didn't really think about this, but this was the first time Saad had been away from Omar as well, so naturally he would be missing him.
As I stroked my middle son's head, he fell asleep almost immediately. "At least one of us can sleep." I whispered, smiling down at him. Well, actually, Zaid is asleep as well. I glanced towards the cot, the one that Papa had gotten the staff to move in here from Bhai's room.
I leaned back against the headboard, and gradually fell asleep in that position, with Saad spread out on the bed, with his head still in my lap.
It was sweet how we were both finding comfort in each other while missing various members of our family.
****
I made Papa breakfast the next morning, and even though he had insisted that I didn't, I could see he was grateful to have food made by someone from his own family. He absolutely loved it when Ammi made food for him, and I cooked similarly to her, so I supposed it comforted him a little.
"You did the right thing by coming here." He said as he ate. "Aisa hi lag raha hai jaise Fatima kaam pe gayi hui hai, aur Fawad bahar gaya hua hai Arhaan ke saath. Just like old times."
*"It feels like Fatima has gone to work, and Fawad has gone out with Arhaan."
I nodded. "Yes, definitely. But Saad and Zaid are two additions in this scenario."
"Absolutely. Ma Sha Allah." He smiled at Saad, who was chewing on his chocolate cereal. Papa had specially asked the help to stock up the kitchen for the boys.
"But you yourself say that although we say farewell to old, good times, we are also on the path to create new and wonderful memories. Yes, I miss the old days, but now we're all happy, Alhumdulillah, with more addition to our family, like Bhabi and Zafar and the kids."
"We are truly blessed, by the Grace of Allah."
"And we can look forward to our children's happiness now." I said.
"Hamari zindagi ka to pata nahin, laikin dua hai meri ke tum sab apne bachon ki khushiyan bhi dekho, jaise maine aur Fatima ne tumhari aur Fawad ki dekhi hain. Ameen."
*"I don't know about our life, but I pray that you all witness the happiness of your children the way Fatima and I had witnessed yours and Fawad's happiness. Ameen."
"May Allah bless you and Ammi with long life as well. Ameen."
We ate in silence for a while, and I looked around the dining room, reliving old memories.
Bhai and I used to sit across the table from each other, and when he was in his early teens, he always used to kick my shin hard whenever I made fun of him, resulting in an epic foot fight that caused Ammi to snap at us. As he grew older, he was often missing from the table when he had dinner at Arhaan Bhai's, or Arhaan Bhai was sometimes present at our table. By the time Bhai turned eighteen, he was turning into a junior version of Papa, quiet, reserved and very responsible. He was about to take the first step of his medical education, and he wanted to do it the right way. I was still in my early teens, and so I still kept annoying him- or attempted to. By then he just ignored my teasing or laughed it off.
I remember Ammi always shaking her head in disapproval whenever Bhai and I refused to eat something, and she always used to call us the 'Nashukri Aulaad!'
*Nashukri Aulaad: Ungrateful offsprings.
It was funny how we had stepped out of those moments in time, creating our own new families and memories instead. I still teased Bhai, of course, but we had gotten even more closer now that we lived so far away from each other.
God, coming home is like walking down memory lane.
And once again I was in awe of how much I myself had changed since then.
I looked at Saad. Before we knew it, he would be all grown up, as well as Omar and Zaid, and Zafar and I would be at the stage where my parents were now. Life is absolutely incredible that way.
Ya Allah, give our kids happiness and good health, as well as a long life. Please make sure that they turn out to be good people. Ameen.
I had learned by now that having wealth means nothing if you don't have a good character. I didn't care how rich my sons turned out to be (or not), because as long as they were good people with good intentions, Allah would always give them success. In Sha Allah.
****
Zoya
I was feeling very unwell. Anything I ate was thrown up immediately. I couldn't even drink water.
"Zoya?" Ahad sounded worried as he lay beside me.
"It's normal, don't worry." I kept my eyes closed and my back towards him.
"Is there anything that I can do?" He asked.
"Please just let me sleep." I muttered.
"Don't worry." He ran a hand over the back of my head. "Sleep, and I hope you feel better soon."
"This Baby Sheikh needs to start to behave itself." He said, lovingly. "Already it's bothering it's Mama."
I pressed a hand against my stomach. "It can bother me all it likes, as long as my baby remains safe and healthy."
I was counting the days until my first trimester was over, and I was out of the delicate stage.
Ya Allah, please keep my baby safe. I got blessed with it after numerous attempts, and I won't be able to bear its loss. Please don't make say farewell before I even greeted my baby. Ameen.
This fear of mine was why I had vowed to follow my mother-in-law's instructions completely. Even if she hadn't been a doctor, she was a mother of three, and she would be able to guide me well.
I heard Ahad's phone buzzed, and a few moments later, he said, "Huh!"
"What?"
"Sadia Bhabi will be heading for Canada in the next few days, hoping to seek help."
"Well, if she's seeking help, good for her. At least she realises."
"How can she leave Ibrahim and Ismael like that though?"
"Maybe she thinks this is what's best for them?" I guessed.
"You're already being so maternal, Ma Sha Allah."
I rubbed my belly through the thin material of my kameez. I guess pregnancy made a woman maternal. Jasmina had mentioned it to me when she was pregnant with Iman. She had told me that she had instantly started feeling extra overprotective towards not just Hania, but all her loved ones, when she had been pregnant with her first child. By Iman's turn, her maternal side had already greatly developed.
I couldn't help smiling. I can't wait to experience motherhood in every way possible, including pregnancy. Ya Allah, please stay by my side.
****
The story is wrapping up soon! Anything you would like to see in particular?
So, Fariha has completely adapted to her new lifestyle?
Would Zoya's baby be safe?
What do you think of Sadia's decision?
Thoughts and comments?
Thank you for reading and don't forget to vote.
Ignore any errors or typos because I'm sleep after work.