chapter twenty-eight!
DOUBLE PNEUMONIA. That's what Xolani had, according to the doctors. They put her in the ICU, meaning only Alex was allowed back to see her. Miguel wasn't able to get in, even though he did have some food, a few outfits, and a phone changer for Alex to have if she planned on staying all night. His mother had drove him after Miguel explained everything to her. Carmen was very fond of Alex, as was Miguel's grandmother. Due to the fact that Carmen worked at the hospital, but was off-duty, she was able to give the stuff that Miguel had collected to one of her coworkers to give to Alex.
For Alex, the ride to the hospital was one of the most painful experiences of her life. The look of absolute fear on the paramedics face when Alex told her that Xolani has Alzheimer's made Alex's stomach drop and an unshakable feeling appear in her gut.
She had to put her phone on silent, seeing as how texts and phone calls came flooding in from her friends. She wasn't sure if someone had informed them of what was going on or if they saw her location being at the hospital. Her friends figured that with a karate-armed Mya being on the loose, that having the Life360 tracking app for Alex was a good idea.
Alex, however, simply wasn't in the mood to answer any text messages or calls and just ignored them for the moment. She sat in the chair by her mother's bed, her knees pulled to her chest and her head resting on top of them. Xolani had fallen asleep not long after she'd gotten to the hospital, leaving Alex to simply just sit and wait.
After getting the stuff sent by Miguel, Alex changed into more causal clothes— a pair of red jogging shorts and a plain white crop top. Out of the three outfits that Miguel had backed in the bag, this was the least official one she could find. She was saving the others for her shifts at the work the next day. From the food that he had packed (two apples, a banana, a box of granola bars, rice krispie treats, saltine crackers, some bottles of water and cans of soda, and a pack of her favorite candy) she only ate an apple and drank a bottle of water. Her appetite wasn't too strong after watching her mother cough up blood and get sent to the ICU.
She didn't get any sleep that night. She stayed awake the entire time, sitting by her mothers side. She called Miguel, informed him of what was going on and told him he could go home. She knew she should've at least tried to get some sleep, especially because she had to be at work at 7:00am, and the dealership was a good fifty minutes away from the hospital, meaning she'd have to leave pretty early. She didn't really care, though; she was going to be awake and ready in case anything happened. She felt terrible enough as it was for letting it get this bad.
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Daniel and Amanda LaRusso knew something was wrong when Alex came into work the next morning. They'd listened to Sam voice her concern all morning about how Alex wasn't answering her phone and how her location showed her being at the hospital. That was enough to put the couple on alert, but when they saw Alex walk through the door of the dealership, they knew something was seriously wrong.
Alex wore her usual bright smile, only this time it was noticeably forced. She wasn't wearing any makeup— no mascara or eyeliner or anything, like she usually was. Her hair was messily pulled back into a bun. There was noticeable bags under her puffy eyes and her overall appearance said that she didn't get enough (if any) sleep. Even Seth began to worry.
"Alex, honey, is everything okay? You look a little stressed. Have you eaten anything today?" asked Amanda, placing a hand on the girls shoulder. Alex gave the woman a smile, resisting the urge to rub her tired eyes.
"Yes, ma'am, I'm just a bit tired," assured Alex, although Amanda wasn't convinced. She knew Alex could be having a heart attack, but wouldn't tell anyone if she thought she could bear through it.
"Are you sure? Sam told me you were at the hospital last night. Did something happen?" questioned the woman. With anyone else, this would likely be considered overstepping boundaries, but Amanda and Alex had a unique relationship. They were comfortable talking about stuff around each other, seeing as how Amanda had been like a second mother to Alex since they'd met.
Alex's strained smile dropped at this, realizing that telling Amanda would likely be the best option. Looking around them, Alex sighed, her voice dropping to a whisper, "Oh, uh, yeah. My mom's sick, like really bad. It's double pneumonia; and the doctors said it's not looking great."
"Oh, honey," frowned Amanda, bringing the girl into a hug immediately. Alex leaned into the hug, not realizing how much she needed one at the moment. Amanda felt a rush of sympathy for the teen. Everyone knew that Xolani had already lived longer than expected, so it was really only a matter of time. She just hated that it was likely to be so soon, especially for Alex's sake. She considered sending Alex home for the day, but knew that it was probably good for her to have a distraction. "I'm so sorry."
"And I looked it up and just single pneumonia by itself is one of the leading causes of death in people with Alzheimers. I even double checked with a different source. Then I triple checked. I don't even know if she stands a chance with double pneumonia— and I could just tell that the nurse was being extra nice to me, probably because she felt bad for my mom; and me too, I guess. She brought me an ice cream cup around three a.m. and we ate ice cream together after she checked moms vitals. Her name tag said Nurse Prouty, but she told me I could call her Shelly. She has a dog named Bucky...," she rambled on, and Amanda listened. She didn't interrupt once, just let Alex go on and on and on for as long as she needed to— and Amanda could tell that Alex needed to talk. Alex was the type of person who felt best after they've said every possible thing they could — it made her feel like she's let everything out, even if she's ranted about something completely different then what's on her mind.
Alex didn't ramble much, though, seeing as how she prefers to listen to what other people have to say. She couldn't help but love the sound of other peoples voices.
But this time, she rambled to her hearts desire— and for the first time, someone listened. To Alex, Amanda was a gift sent from god; even though Alex wasn't particularly religious.
So the two stood there for about an hour, Alex going through papers and files (and all the other things her job requires) while rambling to Amanda, who gave the girl a much needed chance to do something she deserved;
To let it all out.
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Today was The Day.
The Day when Alex was to visit her father in the Nevada State Psychiatric Facility.
It had been a full two weeks since Xolani went into the hospital, and the woman had yet to get any better. If anything, she'd gotten worse. It was something that constantly made Alex worry. Miguel seemed to be the only one who noticed how Alex now jumped every time her phone rang, likely out of fear that it was the hospital calling with the bad news. Alex and Miguel haven't been back out on any more official dates— seeing as how she was so nerve-racked about her mother and couldn't bring herself to really be happy without feeling guilty. Despite the lack of dates, their relationship was still going strong. They were still very much a happy couple, and if anything, this whole thing has brought them even more together.
Miguel held true to him word and accompanied Alex on the trip to the neighboring state. It was a little over a five-hour bus ride, meaning they would have to leave pretty early in the morning if they wanted to be there by 1:00pm.
Alex was a nervous wreck— it didn't take a genius to figure that out. Her hands were trembling all morning — even more so than usual. She kept rubbing her thumb across her opposite wrist and her foot was tapping the entire ride. Miguel knew she had every reason to be nervous, though, and chose not to mention it. He just kept his arm around her and was there in case he needed her.
Miguel himself was nervous— not only was he going to be in the same building as his girlfriends father, he was going to be near his girlfriends murderous father. He couldn't imagine how she must feel; this is the guy who killed her brother, and basically tortured her. He put her through unimaginable pain.
Alex didn't know how she felt. She was nervous, sure, but she didn't know if she was dreading this or not. The rational side of her wanted to stay as far away from her father as possible, but the forgiving side of her made her want to see if he really was getting better. The tiny, selfish part of her wanted him to never get better, that way he'll never get out of the prison. But she hated herself for even partly feeling that way.
She didn't eat anything for breakfast that morning before leaving; she was afraid that if she did she would just throw it right back up. She probably would've. Her stomach hurt, as it always did when she was scared. Was she scared? Yeah, definitely. Between this and Xolani being in the hospital, she'd never been more scared in her life.
She was beyond grateful that Miguel was going to be with her. It was comforting to know that a piece of her new life— the one without her dad in it— was going to be with her while she visited a big piece of her old one.
Miguel fell asleep on her shoulder while they watched The Mighty Ducks 2, leading her to turn off the movie for them to continue later. Alex attempted to fall asleep, knowing the bus wasn't any where near their stop, but couldn't bring herself to do so. There was just too much to think about.
Way too much.
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They were there.
Standing in the doorway of the facility, Alex felt that she'd rather bury herself six-foot-under than do this, but it was too late to turn back now.
The air was cold, the walls gray and gloomy; just like the mood. Alex couldn't help but grab onto Miguel's hand- the fear was eating her alive. Miguel gave her hand a reassuring squeeze, using his free hand to rub her arm comfortingly. He couldn't imagine how difficult this must be for her. He'd never met his dad, but he knew that if he was to go and visit him (jail or no jail) it would be hard. With Alex, it was different. She'd known her father, loved him even. Then he betrayed her and murdered her brother and gave Alex unforgettable scars. Miguel wasn't sure of how she was going to react to seeing him, but what he did know is that he'd be standing right outside the door the entire time, and if things went sideways, he would step in.
They had to empty their belongings into a bin before going through a metal detector and getting checked. Although the people had said that her father was doing great, there was still a chance he could try something and they didn't want the teens to involuntarily give him a weapon. There was also the other hundreds of patients, including psychopaths and sociopaths, in the institution, so they were not allowed to take anything -anything- back past the front desk. Alex pulled out the paperwork from her backpack after setting it in the bin, ready to show it so they could get in.
After giving the paperwork to the lady at the front desk, a man in a dark suit escorted the two back to an isolated room. Miguel stopped Alex before she went in, holding his arm out to prevent her from walking further. He looked hesitant, "If you want to leave at any time, please just shout. Me and a guard will be standing right at the door."
"All right," she told him, her voice wavering, "Thank you."
The guard then opened the door, Alex shuffling inside. The door slammed shut behind her, the faint sound of several locks clanging shut as a man in an white jumpsuit looked up from the where he sat at the table. That man was her father. Alex's heart pounded in her chest, her knees going weak as she held onto the wall for stability.
"Alex," his voice was soft, caring, like how a father's voice should be. It was full of vulnerability. Alex pulled out the seat and sat down. "I can't believe it— my little girl's all grown up. You look great, you really do."
"Thanks, Dad," she said, looking down at her lap. She felt twelve again, cowering under his stare. Suddenly she was back at her old house in New York, sitting in the living room as her father pretended to care about her as the family of four watched movies, while only fifteen minutes before he was hitting her in the yard. Suddenly, she was back to believing that he cared. That this was all a mistake. He was still her father and he still loved her. "How are you? The evaluation guy said you were doing a lot better."
Carl grinned, as if knowing that he still had her like a worm on a hook. Miguel, who was watching through the screen beside the wall outside, seemed to notice this, shifting slightly behind him. Sensei Lawrence's voice rang through his head— all the lessons and teachings. He'd only used them in petty school fights, but this was the real world and Carl was the real bad guy. These were the moments that Johnny had prepared him for, and he was ready to do whatever he needed to to keep Alex safe. Her comfort was his top priority. "I'm doing fine, sweetie. What about you? I'm sure you have a boyfriend, right?"
"Yeah, actually. His name is Miguel Diaz, and he actually came with me," she answered, grinning at the thought of him. Miguel smiled at this. "I met him when he moved in next door and we became best friends. We just got together a few weeks ago, but I know that I really like him. And he does this karate thing with my other neighbor, and he's really good at it too, even won this tournament thing a few months back. Tory does it with him too, but she just started. Miguel was actually the first student in their dojo, which means he must be the best—"
"Sounds nice," Carl interrupts, his grin slipping. Miguel hated that she didn't seem to notice the glace of annoyance that had grown at her little ramble. Miguel has never really seen Alex ramble like that—sure, she does ramble quite a bit sometimes, but never like that. Never like she was trying to convince someone of something. When he understood why she did, though, realization hit him hard. Alex wanted her father to be proud of her; impressed by the boy she'd grown to love. Carl couldn't seem to care less, but Alex didn't notice. "I would love to meet him."
Miguel scowled. He didn't want to meet Carl, not at all. Alex seemed to shift in her seat, as if she knew that he probably didn't.
It was weird to see Alex like this; at least it was for Miguel. She always seemed collected, like she had her life together even when it was falling apart. Even when she rambles she seems collected. But not here, not now, with him.
"Anyways," continued Carl, changing the subject. His eyes were now wide with interest. "how's your mother? Any changes?"
Alex visibly stiffened at the mention of her mother. Her hands started shaking even worse, if that was even possible. Miguel knew that it was a touchy subject; every since Xolani went into the hospital, Alex has been stressed and worried. "Uh, she's actually in the hospital. They said she's improving a bit, though, so hopefully she'll come home soon."
"I see," said Carl, his jaw clenching. Alex noticed, but chose to ignore it. She wanted so bad to believe that her father was a good man again that she decided to ignore the evidence right in front of her. The evidence that he was still completely and utterly insane. "What about school? I know California probably doesn't have many hockey teams, but you still play soccer, yeah?"
"Um, no, I had to quit soccer so I could pick up extra hours at work," at this, for some reason, Carl seemed to grow even more irritated. Miguel glanced between the door and the guard, ready to jump in. Carl's eyes darted up to the camera for a moment, as if he knew he was watching him, daring him to make a move. Miguel didn't budge, however, but let out a huff. Alex continued, "But school is going great. I'm getting really good grades and my teacher said I have a good chance of getting into Berkeley."
"Berkeley?" asked Carl, reaching forward across the table to gently grab his daughters shaking hands. The shackles jingle as he does so. "I thought you wanted to go to NYU?"
Her hands still trembled in his hands, Miguel noticing how uncomfortable she seemed to be with him touching her. Alex couldn't stop thinking about how those same hands had been the ones to stab her brother to death. "I did; when I was twelve. Berkeley has a better forensic psychology program and is closer to mom."
"Oh," replied Carl, his eyebrows furrowed. "Your hands are shaking. Are you nervous? Why would you be nervous around your own father."
I wonder, thought Miguel, sarcastically. that maybe it's because you basically tortured her and killed her brother? Alex reluctantly pulled her hands out of her fathers, making Miguel smile from where he stood. It wasn't much, but it showed she could somewhat stand up to him, and that was enough. Her father scowled, his mood suddenly changing.
"Is it because of what happened?" he asked, his voice low and barely audible. Alex kept her eyes down and on the table in front of her. This is a mistake, she thought, over and over again. I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't have came. She hesitated, not answering. "Is it? Are you nervous because of that?"
He was raising his voice now, almost shouting. Alex flinched, but nodded slowly nonetheless. "What does he think he's doing?" muttered Miguel. He faced the guard, "Get her out of there, please."
The guard looked uncomfortable, "It's not exactly up to you, sir. I have to wait until she tells me to, or-"
"Or until he tries something?" shot back Miguel, giving him an incredulous look. The guard swallowed thickly, fidgeting with his hands.
"This is my first day," he admitted. Miguel figured he couldn't have been working there for too long; he seemed around Seth's age. "I want to, really, don't get me wrong; she looks very uncomfortable, but I don't want to lose this job."
"So what?" Carl continued on, drawing Miguel's attention back tot he screen. The man had an offended look on his face. "You're scared of me, is that it? Scared I'm going to do to you what I did to Lucas, huh?"
Alex's whole body was trembling at this point, her hand went to cover her mouth as she tried not to cry. She shakily stood up, backing up towards the door and knocking on the door lightly.
"Well, you should be. Afraid, that is," he tells her, his voice suspiciously calm. He looked up at her, a small scowl growing, "Because there is only one thing I regret about that night, and it's that the cops got there before I could finish you off."
"Okay, that's it. Get her out of there, now. I'm not asking," said Miguel, the guard nodded- clearly ready to do so anyways. He asked Miguel to turn around before he put in the pass code.
"It's all your fault!" shouted Carl, jumping up from his own chair. The chains clashed together, Alex squeezing her eyes shut as tears streamed down her face, "Lucas is dead because of you! Not me!"
The door swung open and Alex was yanked out, Miguel and the guard each having one of her arms. She fell backwards into Miguel's arms, turning so she could bury her head in his chest. The guard slammed the door shut, Miguel watching the screen over Alex's shoulder as more guards crowded into the room through the other door. They restrained Carl and dragged him away, the man calming down almost immediately.
Alex was still muttering unintelligible words into Miguel's chest, making him pull back and hold her face with his hands. "Hey, hey, hey. Alex, look at me."
She looked up at him, her eyes glossy and filled with tears. He brushed the hair out of her face, softly. Her whole body was shaking, her hands worst of all. She let out a sob she didn't realize she was holding in and Miguel pulled her into another hug. The guard looked down at them in sympathy, mouthing a silent 'is she going to be okay?' and Miguel nodded.
It took a few minutes for Alex to stop crying, and even then she was still very upset. That was to be expected, of course, and Miguel understood. She'd just went through something insane— insane and terrifying.
Alex felt like she was in a dream. It was all too surreal for her to process. Her now puffy eyes burned and she had a pounding headache, her stomach still in knots from the encounter. She tried aimlessly to get her hands to stop shaking, but they trembled nonetheless. Her legs felt wobbly underneath her, making her lean onto Miguel.
Miguel held her hand as they left the facility, Alex's other hand wrapped around his arm. She was still a bit out of it, and remained that way the entire trip home. A part of her felt like if she let go of Miguel she'd fall apart. Maybe she would, she didn't know. It sure was a possibility. She regretted even considering visiting her father. Alex wasn't sure why she ever thought this was a good idea— it seemed completely absurd now. How could she get closure when all he did was prove the was still the same? If anything, it made it all worse.
On the bus ride back to Los Angeles, Alex tried her hardest to ignore the strong itching sensation that was irritating her arm; where the long set of scars were. The couple were silent most of the ride, Miguel being the only one who spoke. When he asked how she was, she would just give him a bright, grand smile that contradicted the tears streaming down her face. When he offered her snacks, she would just shake her head with a tiny smile, as if silently saying, no, but thanks though.
Her stomach hurt bad enough already, the stress from the day taking her appetite away for likely the next few days.
When they got back to town, the two hopped off the bus at the stop near the hospital. The past two weeks, Alex had stayed in her apartment a total of four times— mostly staying at either Miguel's or the hospital with her mom. She hated being home alone without her mother. Seeing as how Alex had easily befriended the hospital staff, they agreed to let Miguel go back and visit Xolani every once in a while.
There were still times when Xolani would forget who Alex was, only now she just assumed Alex was a nurse coming in to check on her. There was a time when Alex sat down and listened to Xolani talk about how she had a six-month-old little boy at home named Lucas, along with a two-year-old girl who just happened to have the same name as Alex. She'd listened to Xolani talk about how much she adored her husband and loved her kids.
Today, however, Xolani fortunately knew exactly who the two teenagers were when they walked into her hospital room. She was thrilled to see the couple, as were the nurses. Shelly, the one who'd eaten ice cream with her on that first night, gave her a hug— the woman was the absolute sweetest. Shelly gave Miguel a stern glance; not only had she became friends with Alex, she became very protective. Shelly was a hardcore lesbian who trusted a complete 0% of men, and that included Miguel.
Alex had spent a good ten minutes outside of the hospital with Miguel, clearing her tears and regaining a grip on herself— she knew that not only would her mom stress about her being upset, but that Shelly would immediately interrogate Miguel to make sure he wasn't the cause of her sadness.
Miguel and Alex sat and talked with Xolani for what seemed like hours. It obviously brightened Alex's mood, which Miguel knew was greatly needed. They didn't tell the lady about their trip to see Carl, for obvious reasons, so the woman sat oblivious to the trauma that Alex had endured the day.
Oblivious to the heartbroken mess in front of her.
a/n: oh gosh. this ones quite a bit of a rollercoaster, huh? like i said, i am going to be getting back into my schedule of updating every friday, so i figured i'd start this week:) sorry it's so late in the day, though, but i hope you all had a wonderful day!! til next time,
~chloe