Kim Namjoon's pov
"It been a long time since I have started liking you. Basically you were my love at first sight noona. I know it's too soon but will you be my girlfriend?"
I could feel my hands numb even if I was clapping. Her eyes were on me begging me to help her out of this situation but when I did nothing to help her, her eyes turned stern and she looked forward at Jungkook again to reply,
"Yes Jungkook, I'll be your girlfriend."
Jungkook got the happiest I have ever saw him before and he hugged her tightly. Then without caring about others looking at them, he leaned forward and pecked her lips.
Seeing them kiss made my eyes wide and I felt a heart break in my heart. This impact was so hard that it bought me out of my dream.
I sat down suddenly from the nightmare I just got. I looked at my surrounding to see me sitting on my bed. He saw the time to see it was 5 AM. It's okay Namjoon it was just a dream.
(YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE TO PRANK ON YOU GUYS🤣🤣🤣)
I could still imagine myself in the dream. my eyes were filled with tears and my heart was paining. It wouldn't be good to my physical and psychological health to keep everything to myself.
I should talk to Misoo and Jungkook about this. They would finalize whatever they want. If they choose each other, it would hurt me but I will get a closure.
So I got up and went to brush my teeth and complete the daily necessities. It was still too early so I thought no one would be awake. I went towards to kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee when I saw Yoongi hyung making coffee too.
"Hyung, what are you doing awake this early?", He got shocked with the sudden voice.
"Namjoon you scared me. I haven't gone to sleep till now. I was making music all night long."
"Hyung you'll get sick, why do you overwork yourself so much.", I said in a worry.
"Your eyes are swollen too Namjoon. Were you crying all night?"
"No hyung why will I cry."
"I saw you and Hoseok entering the dorm with tear filled eyes Namjoon. I'll not ask you the reason but just know that I want to know it as soon as possible okay?"
"Yes hyung."
"Now drink this. I'll make myself another cup of coffee", he gave me his cup.
"No hyung, you drink it, I'll make it of my own."
"Don't argue Namjoon. I don't want you to mess up the kitchen in early morning. Jin Hyung will kill both of us."
We both laughed over how I burned the frying pan while making fried rice while the rice was still raw.
He made himself a cup of coffee again and we sat on the attached balcony.
"Tell me something Namjoon. Tell me anything. I wanna be awake for sometime now."
We started talking randomly about all the memories we made when we were roommates before debut.
"Remember, we used to sit in front of the TV watching award shows and thinking when we would get one."
"Yeah hyung, and remember when we first got the debut award we both hugged each other and cried our eyes out."
"To celebrate it, we wildly put on lipsticks in each other's face and atlast we looked like clowns", Yoongi hyung laughed showing his gummy smile.
We sat down and gossiped about all the memories we made when we were roommates. It felt nice to start the day with light smiles and laughter after a day of crying.
We kept our mugs at side. Yoongi hyung was silent for sometime.
"You know Namjoon, when I came to join this group. I was confident enough that I'll be doing well in whatever I would do. But when we were trainees, I was scared. You guys were so talented and hard working. I thought that I would lag behind and I wouldn't be a part of this group.
But you were there as a roommate for me. You always helped me write lyrics, you,me and Jin hyung would stay extra time to practice the dance routines and then we three would sneak out and go to convenience stores to eat Ramen. Then we would get scoldings from our dietician but we would laugh it off.
You would always convince me that we would be a big hit when we debut. Whenever I used to break down you were always near me to hold me and make me stand again.
I can never be less grateful to you Namjoon. Whatever I am today, it is because of you. Because of you, I gained confidence in myself that I can perform."
I didn't know what to reply to it, so I just pulled him to a hug and patted his shoulders.
"The feelings are mutual hyung, you guys trusted me and I am grateful that you stayed beside me and now we are here. Even if I would not have been here, you would have reached the same heights hyung, so you don't have to give any credits to me.", I replied to him after breaking the hug.
"I don't wanna argue on this topic Namjoon, when are you going to just shut up and learn how to take a compliment.", He lightly punched me on my forearms and stood up.I too stood up.
"It's almost 6 Am Namjoon. Still I can get three to four hours sleep before getting ready for today's schedule so I am going to sleep. Bye, Good night."
"It's good morning hyung", I said a little loudly. He didn't look back but waved a goodbye.
He went towards his room and I knew that I can't sleep again once I woke up in the morning so I sat again and thought about yesterday.
What am I really doing? Hurting her by ignoring her and speaking rude to her makes me hurt too. And the way her eyes got sad whenever I spoke rudely to her made me sad too.
I heard a sound of notification popping off. I looked at my phone and after seeing the name of the user, I grabbed my phone as quickly as possible.
"Misoo💜"
I opened the message without thinking anything else.
"Good morning Namjoon. Rise and shine. I hope you have a great day ahead."
I felt guilty. Even after I said mean words to her yesterday, she still messaged me wishing my day to go well. I didn't know what to message back so I didn't message anything back and kept looking at that message.
After few minutes I saw her typing again. I waited anxiously to see what was her message again.
"So you wouldn't reply today too?"
I wanted to reply Misoo, I wanted to. But after how I treated you yesterday, I couldn't think about ways for apologising to you without telling you the actual reason of it. She kept writing another message but this time I had to wait for extra time.
Was she deleting and writing or was she sending me a long message. After sometime I got the message,
"I really don't know what happened Namjoon.I don't know why you are acting like this to me. I know you. I have known you since seven years. You would never talk to anyone like that or try to be disrespectful to someone. Have I done something wrong? Please tell me. I will try my level best to correct it.
But please don't ignore me like that. It hurts me to get ignored by someone who I thought was my friend at a point. Is it all about that kiss? Did our friendship end because we kissed that night?"
I got overwhelmed and I didn't know what to reply back. Why does she know me so well. Even my band mates who lived 24 hours with me didn't have an idea about my miseries but a person who just saw me through videos got to know so much about myself.
"Since you are reading this messages and still choosing not to reply, I am sorry Namjoon. I am sorry to be the one to cause you so much hurtfulness. I maybe assuming but it feels like you want me to hate you and ignore you and that's why you are acting like this to me.
Is it because of the kiss? You would have kissed in the heat of the moment and after that you thought I would catch feelings for you and would propose you while you are not ready to be with me?
Or is it that you don't like physical touches. I have seen you avoiding physical affection from your members. If that's the reason, I am really sorry Namjoon. I was the one who always initiated things. I initiated holding hands, I hugged you first, I kissed you on your forehead first. You may have not like that but still didn't say anything to me, but the kiss was the last nail of patience to break down your feelings towards me? If that's the reason I am really sorry Namjoon. Trust me I'll never try to be affectionate again.
I am just assuming things Namjoon. I sat all night to think what did I do to make you angry on me like this. And it hurts me Namjoon, it really does. I know I have no right on you but these three months,the way we shared everything and always talked about our secrets, the sudden ignoring hurts.
Please tell me a reason and I will properly apologize to you for that. And it's okay if you don't reply me now but I'll still wait for your message Namjoon. "
After reading the long message I caressed my cheeks to feel it was wet. I quickly wiped all the tears off so that no one would notice me crying like that. I was really a mess right now both emotionally and psychologically.
It was my mistake over all what I did yesterday but she said sorry so many times. Even after I hurt her yesterday and ignored her all the while, she still apologized for causing me miseries.
Do I even deserve her?
I planned to reply her this time. I would say her everything that is needed to be said. She also has the right to know what was going on. I started typing the message when I felt a presence behind me.
When I turned around I saw him behind me.
Jeon Jungkook's pov
I woke around 6 AM. I still had time to sleep for a few hours more but I decided against it. I knew this was the time Namjoon hyung woke up so I thought about talking to him.
Maybe I am being too overboard. I would truly talk to him about his feelings for Misoo. Yesterday he ignored Misoo all day long. He was sad about it too and all this was because of me. I was the reason hyung is not talking to Misoo anymore. He cares about my feelings so much, I should care about his emotions too.
Not being with Misoo noona would hurt me but being the reason of Namjoon hyung's sadness would make me feel worst.
So I completed my daily necessities and came out of the room to go to Namjoon hyung's room when I saw him sitting in the living room balcony.
I went towards him to see him looking at his phone reading someone's message. I couldn't see the messages but I could clearly see the name of the person he was talking to,
"Misoo 💜"
All my emotions gradually started to change. I was feeling guilty that Namjoon hyung was not talking to her because I confessed my feelings but now that was not the case.
Even after knowing that I have feelings for her, he continued talking to her. He knew that noona may have feelings for him but now he's fueling it so that Misoo noona likes him and reject me.
I was wrong to think that Namjoon hyung didn't think about himself and thought about me when I said I had feelings for her. But he was secretly talking to her behind my back so that I wouldn't know about it.
You are so selfish hyung. I thought you loved me.
I came a little closer to him when I saw him typing a message but he felt me standing behind him and turned to look at me.
"Oh, Jungkook you are awake. Good morning.", He awkwardly smiled while closing the message app. Hyung you should have tried better to hide it from me.
"Yes hyung, I woke up early because I had to talk to you about something.", I faked a smile while looking at him. I felt so hurt by his actions that all my plans flew out of my brain that I planned before coming here.
"I had to talk to you about something too Jungkook. Something very important.", He looked at his phone while saying that. I suddenly felt scared to hear what he wanted to say. What if he would say that they are already in relationship or worse they have already been in a relationship since a long time. Without thinking I replied,
"Hyung help me please.", I felt vulnerable.
"What happened Jungkook, why are you so sad. What happened now?" He looked at me with concern.
"Hyung help me. I have been trying to be close to Misoo noona but I don't think it's working. Please help me so that I could propose her and make a place in her heart.",I subconsciously shed two tears because it felt like I could never be in relationship with Noona.
He looked reluctant. He was never reluctant whenever I asked him to help me but now he was being selfish.
"Jungkook about that, I too wanted to confess someth-"
"Namjoon hyung, I like her very much. It suffocates me sometimes that maybe someday someone else will steal her away from me. Please hyung, please help me so that she would only be with me,I like her very much. I'll always keep her happy. I don't want anyone else to be the person noona likes.", I sobbed in front of him.
It was true that I felt suffocated when I saw both of them together. I wanted to be in his place, to be the one who holds her, to kiss her, to love her. But unfortunately I wasn't the one.
He came towards me and rubbed all the tears off my face. I looked at his face to see his eyes full of tears too but he carried his beautiful smile on his lips.
"Shh Jungkook, you cry like a baby.", He smiled looking at me again.
"I didn't know that you liked her so much Jungkook. Don't worry, I'll make sure no one steals her away from you.", He again looked at his phone.
"Not even me.", He whispered to himself but I heard him since we were standing closely. He again looked at me to flash his beautiful smile towards me.
But all I could see were his eyes full of tears. I lifted my hands to rub his tears but he beat me to it and rubbed his own tears quickly.
"Don't worry Jungkook, I'm not crying. I'm just happy to see you like this, all grown up and loved.", He looked at me with love filled eyes.
"You should go and sleep for sometime more. I have some music ideas in my mind right now so I'm going to the studio now. I'll see how I can help you with her okay. Give me some time to think about it.", He patted my shoulders once and went towards the door of the dorm.
I too went inside my room. After locking my room door I slumped down the floor and started to sob.
Why am I hurting hyung so much? He had always helped me in everything I wanted. He never refused to anything I asked him to do. Now too he wanted to confess his feelings for her, but I didn't let him complete it.
I accused him to be the selfish one who didn't think about me. But my heart knew the reason of the tears he was shedding was because of me. I was the selfish one here.
It felt like I was being bipolar. I felt guilty for hurting him, but on the other hand I did everything I could to separate them both and have Misoo for myself.
I was hurting the person who is the reason I have everything that I have now.
When did I turned to be so evil?
I didn't know when my silent sobbing turned out to be someone loud for someone to hear it and knock in my door.
"Jungkook, are you okay? Open the door for hyung, kookie please."
After hearing his voice and I quickly wiped all my tears and opened the door for him.
He entered the room and closed to door so that no one else looks at him crying like that.
He came forward and hugged me tightly while caressing my hair without asking me anything else.
"Jimin hyung.", I sobbed in his shoulders while he kept whispering sweet nothings.
"It's okay baby, everything is going to be okay. Don't worry about it. Our kookie is strong right, he will fight everyone."
"Hyung I'm very bad, I am selfish. I only think about myself.", I kept saying everything that came to my mind without filtering any thoughts.
"No baby, who said you that. You are the most precious baby of ours. We all love you. How can you be bad? I am gonna throw hands on the person who tells our kookie something like that."
"Hyung, I am scared. I am scared that you guys are gonna hate me. I am scared that noona will reject me, I am scared that someone a lot better than me would be the one who propose her and she'll say yes to him. I'm scared hyung. "
"No baby, how can someone hate you. You are the sweetest soul. And how can you even think we would hate you, even if the world hates you, we six would always love you. You are literally our baby.
And how dare you say that someone a lot better than you exists, you are the golden maknae. You are the best, remember that.", He started teasing me while tickling me lightly on my stomach.
"Hyung stop it's tickling me.", I giggled a little while trying to stop his hands.
"I will only stop if you stop crying baby,you don't know how much it hurts me to see you cry like this."
"Sorry hyung, I'll not cry again like this.", I hugged him tightly since I needed mental support at that time. I felt like a complete looser after playing with hyung's feelings like that.
"Now will you tell me what happened? Why are you crying so early in the morning? Did someone say something to you? Tell me everything baby."
I got scared again. I didn't want him to know that Namjoon hyung has feelings for Misoo too, he would hate me to hide it like that. All the members will hate me if they get to know what I did to Namjoon hyung. I didn't know that my eyes are swelling up again.
"Baby don't cry again. Okay okay I'll not ask you anything okay. But please don't cry again. It makes me emotional too I can't see you like that."He wiped my tears off with the sleeve of his sweat shirt
"Actually hyung, I saw a very bad dream. I saw a dream where I hurt one of our members and when everyone got to know about it, you all hated me and left me alone, even Misoo noona didn't stay with me. I was all alone."
"Oh my baby got a nightmare. You should have came directly to our room after that. Both tae and I would have cuddled you and made you feel better."
"And another thing Jungkook, we can never hate you because we all love you immensely. And we all know you would never hurt any one of us even unconsciously and even if it happens, it may have a very strong reason behind it. So whatever you are thinking about, leave all that. And why do you think you will not be in relationship with Misoo?"
"I don't know hyung. It just feels that she doesn't like me enough to be in a relationship with me. But I want her hyung, I want her in my life."
"Baby, I know you are vulnerable now but always remember the emphasis of words in life. You shouldn't want her. She's not a material or a doll which you want to keep in your life. You should need her in your life. Saying you want her sounds like you are obsessed with her, okay baby."
"Yes hyung, I need her in my life.", I looked at the floor repeating that I need her uncountable times in my head.
"So what have you planned next? Did you talk to her yesterday after she went to the dorm?"
Talking about her felt like a switch turning on in my head. I wanted her to be my girlfriend, and even if I felt guilty about hurting Namjoon hyung, I couldn't hold in my feelings for Noona. I wanted her to be mine.
"No hyung, I haven't talked to her much but we have talked yesterday after she went to the washroom."
"What are you going to wait for then? You'll propose her after talking to her for a few more days?"
"No hyung, tomorrow is, September 1st, my birthday. I am planning to propose her tomorrow."
"Why so soon baby?"
"First of all it's my birthday hyung, and that would be the greatest birthday gift ever and second I am scared to wait anytime more. What if someone takes her away from me"
"Jungkook why are you repeatedly saying that someone will take her away from you. No one would. She said that she's single. You're single too. You are the perfect person who no one can reject. Infact she's an army. You think an army would reject you if you propose them. No right. So take out all the negative thoughts out of your mind and think about how you're gonna ask her out."
When Hyung said me all this, I felt a little relieved. It felt good to know someone supported me. Even if I felt guilty about hurting him, I couldn't stop being happy thinking about tomorrow when I would propose her and she would say yes.
"Now Kookie,it's too late. We should go for our dance practice now okay. And i dare you to cry again, both of us will shift to your room and you have to suffocate between us in the bed."
"No hyung I wouldn't cry again. Do not even think of shifting into my room, I like my private space, not unlike you two soulmates who live in the same room."
"Okay okay, I'm going now. Bye get ready soon."With this he left my room and I got ready for our practice.
Since today we had no recordings, we didn't need makeup, so stylists weren't scheduled to us. So I couldn't meet noona today which made me a little sad, but I still concentrated myself and followed the steps of the new choreography Hoseok hyung was teaching us.
After hours of practice, we all got exhausted and sat down leaning on the wall except Namjoon hyung. He kept practicing alone in front of the mirror.
Usually he would take a little extra time to go through the choreography and learn it till he excels in it but today it was different.
Today he was perfectly doing all the steps of the choreography but he did it again and again. Yoongi hyung called him to sit with us after an hour of continuous dancing but he didn't listen to him.
He kept dancing in front of the mirror looking fiercely towards himself. He didn't stop even when Hoseok hyung told him that all his steps were perfect and he didn't have to practice more. He kept doing the dance over again and again and it made us worried about him.
Because we could see his energy gradually decreasing after doing the dance for such a long time. We all sat there without moving looking at him with concerned eyes.
After the song finished again, he slowly went towards the music player to rewind it again, but his legs couldn't radiate more energy for him and he suddenly fell down from all the exhaustion.We all stood up in hurry and ran towards him.
"Namjoon, Namjoon are you okay?", Yoongi hyung patted his cheeks lightly to bring him back to his consciousness.
"Let me bring some water.", Jin hyung ran back towards his bag and bought us a bottle filled with water.
Hoseok hyung took it from Jin hyung and slightly sprinkled it in hyung's face to make him conscious.
"Should I call a doctor?", Tae was ready with his phone in his hand to call out our personal doctor.
"I don't think it's needed, it fatigue from the exhaustion. He continuously danced for three hours without any break. It is natural for his body to react like this.", Yoongi hyung replied back.
Then we saw hyung slowly opening his eyes after some water was sprinkled upon his face. Jimin hyung slowly lifted him and sat behind Namjoon hyung so that Namjoon hyung could lean on him without falling down again.
Hoseok hyung made him drink some water from the bottle while Jin hyung fanned him to give him some air.
"Are you mad Namjoon? Why were you dancing crazily like that?", Jin hyung asked sternly but his eyes were worried and concerned.
"Yes Namjoon, your body cannot take so much pressure at a point. You're an idol. You know this basic things. I know your mind is filled with some important things but do not risk your body like that, you could have got an extreme cramp or a sprain due to exhaustion. You would had to sleep all month while we would have been practicing. Would you have preferred that?", Hoseok hyung spoke rather softly while caressing his hair strands.
"Hyung, I got so worried when you suddenly collapsed like this. Do not ever do it like that.", Tae hyung went towards Namjoon and hugged him.
"I'm so sorry guys, I was lost in some thoughts and that's why I didn't know I was exhausting my body so much. It's totally my fault to make me worry about me like this. Please forgive me."
"Do not apologize to us like that, we just want you to take care of yourself hyung. It hurts us too when you get hurt okay?", Jimin hyung was still behind Namjoon so that he could lean on Jimin hyung. He hugged Namjoon hyung from the back while keeping his head on his shoulders while Namjoon hyung gave him his beautiful dimpled smile.
Everyone was making sure he was okay, everyone was talking to him and warning him to never try this type of stunt again. Everyone was having a conversation with him except me.
I was numb on my place. No voices were coming out of my mouth. Looking at him senseless made myself feel wicked. I somewhere was sure it was all because of me.
I wasn't just hurting him emotionally now. I hurted him physically too. I bit my lip hardly until I felt blood coming out of my lips.
I told him to help me to be in a relationship with Misoo, when I clearly knew that he have feelings for her too. It felt like I didn't know myself anymore, I didn't know the immoral part of myself that was causing all this. Even if I knew I wanted to be with her so much but I didn't predict that this would be the consequences.
I never in my life even dreamt about being the reason Namjoon hyung would shed a single tear, but now it feels like I am the reason of all of his miseries.
I saw Namjoon hyung standing up slowly and walking towards the door when his legs felt jelly and he was going to fall down again but I was quick to reach to him and caught him before he lost his balance.
"Thank you so much Jungkook.", He gave me his smile which broke my heart a bit more.
Without saying anything else. I slowly kneeled down on the floor and took his hands from behind to carry him in a piggy ride. I lifted him on my back and slowly moved towards our dorm while everyone followed us.
We soon reached our dorms and I took him into his bedroom while others decided to stay in the living room. Jin hyung quickly made something for us to eat while yoongi hyung helped him cut the essentials.
I opened his room and leaned down again so that he could stand up. After that I was leaving the room to go to my room when he held me by my wrist.
"Jungkook, thank you so much for carrying me all this while. I'm pretty sure I'm too much heavy.", He chuckled while trying to talk to me.
But my throat was literally numb so I couldn't make out any sentence to reply so I nodded and flashed him a weak smile. I was again going to go outside of the room when he called me again.
"Another thing Jungkook wait."
I looked at him to see him slowly going towards his study table to pull out a paper with so many scribbles in it.
"Y-you asked me today morning right, that you wanted me to help you. So this is all I can help Jungkook. I have written all of her favorites in it, what's her favorite color, what she likes to eat when she's sad, what she prefers in a drink and much more of things like that."
"I have been talking to her since the last three months so we turned out to be very good friends and that's why she shared all this to me, but now you should know about all this so that you would know what to do when."
He slowly forwarded his hands with the paper in his fingers and his hands were slightly shivering while giving it to me. I took that paper from him and he let his hands fall.
"You asked my help today morning, so I prepared this list in a hurry before going for practice Jungkook. I'm sure that I haven't forgotten anything but if I have, I would message you at that time so that you can remember it."He looked at the paper one more time which were in my hands now.
"Now I should take some rest, I am feeling a little tired.", He yawned and slowly went towards his bed. He laid down and closed his eyes. I stood there for sometime looking at him sleeping like that. After that I went towards him and slowly covered him with a blanket and lowered the room's temperature.
I stood beside him for a while looking at his face. I witnessed a tear rolling down his left eye and I bend a little and slowly wiped it off his face.
I couldn't explain how I was feeling inside my head. It was a mess, my own feelings were fighting with each other but one thing was sure, at the end I am hurting Hyung.
I came out of his room and went to mine while the crumbled paper was still in my hands.
Jung Hoseok's pov
After coming back to the dorm we stayed in the living room to let Namjoon rest a little bit.
I knew I promised Namjoon that I wouldn't involve myself in this matter, but it was going out of hands right now. I can't let his selflessness destroy his life like that.
Jin hyung and Yoongi hyung made soup for Namjoon and Tae was taking the plate to Namjoon's room. I stopped Tae from going to his room.
"Tae, if you don't mind, may I take the soup to him? I have to talk to him about something too."
"Hyung can I come with you, I wanted to see if he's doing well. I'm worried about him.", He looked concerned about him.
"He's fine Taehyung. Nothing happened to him. He's just exhausted. I'll talk to him and after that you can meet him okay.", I tried my best to keep him away from Namjoon now. He might be in an emotional state and I didn't want him to look at his leader in such a broke state.
"Okay hyung. Let me open the door for you.", I carried the bowl while he opened the door for me. After going inside I saw Namjoon sleeping like a baby while chewing his lips.
I went towards him and leaned slowly to plant a kiss on his forehead. He has struggled all his life as an idol. I am such a careless hyung to ignore him like that, don't worry Namjoon, I wouldn't let you suffer anymore. You have me behind your back.
I caressed his hair and called his name to wake him up. He mumbled something in his sleep which was hard to understand but I still didn't give up and woke him up again.
He got up after some more trials and I quickly arranged the pillows behind his back so he can lean comfortably.
"See what hyung bought for you. Tasty soup."
"No hyung, I'm not hungry.", He didn't even look at the food.
"Yoongi hyung and Jin hyung made it as per your taste. Now have some or else they would feel sad.", He still looked at the food emotionless.
"Okay let me feed you.", I took the bowl to myself and held a spoon of soup and blew it to make it cool. Then I forwarded it to him and he opened his mouth to eat it.
"Isn't it tasty like always.", I asked him.
"Yes hyung, it's tasty.", He smiled lightly looking at my actions.
Then I took some soup and ate it myself and said in exaggeration."Wow, this soup is so good, I can drink a whole bowl of it in a minute, you should eat it before I drink it all Namjoon okay."
He giggled listening to my talking.
"Hyung, stop. I'm not a baby. You are treating me like one now."
"Who said you are not our baby. Like Jungkook, Jimin and Taehyung are our babies you are too. You are the maknae of our hyung line, so how can you say that you are not a baby.", I distracted him while saying anything that came into my mind and made him drink the whole soup.
He blushed listening to my words. Only if I would have gave him attention since the start. He took care of all of us without thinking about himself. We were his hyungs but we relied on him too much to see that he needs someone to lean on too. I'm sorry Namjoon. From now on you don't have to keep everything to yourself. I'm with you always.
"See while talking, you drank the whole soup. That's like my baby.", I showed him the empty bowl.
"Stop hyung, now it's making me embarrassed.", He tried to hide his face with the blanket because he was feeling shy when he suddenly got so much attention towards himself.
"Sleep a little more Namjoon. We don't have any other schedule today. You can sleep as much as you want okay. And since you have practiced so much today, might as well you take tomorrow rest too so that we can practice and come to your level.", I teased him.
"No hyung I'm totally fine. I'll rest for sometime more and after that I would be as fit as ever.", He gave me a dimpled smile which made my heart swell with happiness.
I slightly poked his dimples with my index finger.Always smile like this Namjoon, I feel like crying when I see your eyes filled with sadness.
So I adjusted him to sleep and then I caressed his hair until he fell asleep again. I bend forward and kissed him on his forehead. I'll help you Namjoon. I would help you from your selflessness.
With this I took the bowl with me and slowly closed his door after looking at him for the last time. After keeping the bowl in the kitchen I knew where I needed to go.
I knocked at his room and entered after I got his permission. I looked at him and all my acting of being strong in front of Namjoon fell apart when he came near me in a hurry to see me tearing up.
"Hyung help me, please."
"What happened Hobi, are you okay? Why are you crying?", He bought me to his bed by holding my hands and made me sit there.
I came to Jin hyung because I knew he had some idea Namjoon. I have seen him taking extra care of Namjoon nowadays. I have also seen him tease Namjoon about Misoo. So he was the only one I thought I could share everything about.
So I told him everything, I told him everything Namjoon told me yesterday, about the hatredness, about the panic attacks, how he got a panic attack yesterday, about Jungkook liking Misoo, about Namjoon sacrificing his love for Jungkook. I told him everything I knew about this.
He looked shocked at first. He didn't believe the fact that Namjoon were getting panic attacks since the next year of debut and we had no idea about it. He had no idea that Jungkook was the reason Namjoon was behaving like this. He was speechless at that time.
"He was going through all of these behind our backs. While we were enjoying ourselves and carelessly leaning on him whenever we needed his help. I am so sorry Hoseok, it's all because of me. I'm the eldest. I should have been more carful about every member.", He looked like he was tearing up too but he controlled his feelings because he didn't like to cry in front of us.
"Hyung we should help Namjoon right?", It was more of a statement than a question.
Park Jimin's pov
After talking a nap for sometime I went towards Namjoon hyung's room to check if he needed something. After seeing him asleep, I felt relieved. I was so scared when I saw him falling down. He was one the the strongest member in our group who never gets unconscious due to performance pressures, so looking at him sleeping like that made me feel happy.
I closed the door silently and was going back to my room when I heard Hoseok hyung's voice from the Jin hyung's room.
"Hyung we should help Namjoon right?"
I got concerned about what they were talking about. Is he ill? Is Namjoon hyung seriously sick? I was going to their room when I heard Jin hyung's reply.
"Ofcourse we are going to help him Hoseok. We will do whatever it takes to make Misoo his girlfriend."
I stopped in my tracks. Were they talking about the same Misoo ? I quickly connected all the dots in my head. Namjoon hyung likes Misoo too?
Then what about Jungkook? They both like Misoo Noona. One of the two heart's was gonna break anyhow and I couldn't understand who to support now.
Before I was clear that I was gonna help Jungkook so that Misoo noona becomes his girlfriend. But now even Namjoon hyung likes her. I cannot be supporting one of the two, that would be injustice to the other one's feelings. I was in confusion but it soon got cleared when I heard Hobi hyung's reply.
"But what about Jungkook. He likes Misoo too. He will have to go through a heartbreak.",
"I know that Hoseok. But now I can't think about his feelings. Clearly Namjoon's feelings are much stronger. We will make Jungkook understand properly. I know, he would understand this for his Namjoon hyung."I got shocked. They knew about Jungkook's feelings but still they were being one sided for Namjoon hyung.
I entered the room without knocking to see both of their eyes wide looking at me in shock.
"Jimin where are your manners? You should knock and come inside.", I didn't really paid attention to anything else.
"Namjoon hyung likes Misoo noona too?", I asked with uncertainty in my voice.
They two looked at me in shock but soon realized that I had heard them talking.
"Yes Jimin, he likes Misoo very much and that's why we are planning to get them together in any means."
"Even after knowing Jungkook's feelings for her, you are solely supporting Namjoon hyung.", I felt disbelief dripping in my voice.
"Jimin, it's not like that. You don't know how much Namjoon needs her in his life right now."
"And what gave you the right to think that Jungkook doesn't need her in her life too. Do you even know how much he was crying today morning leaning on my shoulder just because he saw a nightmare where Misoo wasn't beside him and neither were we. If you guys would have seen him like that, you guys wouldn't have been selfish enough to just think about one member instead of thinking about both of them. "
"You don't know Namjoon's struggles Jimin. He has suffered much more struggles than all of us combined. So doesn't he deserve happiness now in form of Misoo?", Hoseok hyung tried to explain me calmly.
"Whatever miseries he went through, we all went through it together hyung. You, me, Jungkook everyone has faced the miseries equally. And just because he's the leader doesn't mean you guys would all support him and forget about Jungkook. "
"Are you even listening to yourself Jimin. You are out of your mind right now.", Jin hyung said with disbelief in his eyes but my eyes were blurred by today morning's memories of Jungkook crying.
"No hyung, you guys aren't hearing yourself. You should support both of them equally. You should be helping both of them but you decided to abandon Jungkook completely. How could you be so mean to Jungkook. You are making his nightmare come true. He was scared that no one will stand beside him and you are doing the same to him right now."
"Jimin please listen to me, let me tell you the whole matter,after that you would support Namjoon too.", Hoseok hyung pulled me to the bed to make me sit and explain everything but I didn't want to hear anything else from them.
"No hyung, it's enough. I got to know your intentions that you wouldn't be supporting Jungkook at all. Before coming to this room I was perplexed upon who to support now, but you made it clear for me. I don't think Namjoon hyung needs my support anymore since you guys are openly supporting hi. I'm not gonna leave Jungkook alone. You guys can do whatever you want to help Namjoon hyung but I'll also not fall apart here.
I'll help Jungkook and I'll make sure Misoo noona chooses Jungkook. "
Hello my lovelies💜,
The longest I have ever written -> 7500+ words. I haven't updated since a while because my semester started but I wanted you guys to remember me so I updated a very very long chapter for you guys.
I hope you like this chapter because it took me hours to complete it.
And another thing is this story is coming to end real soon, I think I'll wind it up in the next 4 to 5 chapters.
So the ending can be anything, a happy one or a sad one and it depends on me 😉😉
Please comment and tell me how you liked this chapter. I'm curious to know about it.
Borahae💜