Different feelings of frustration, overwhelmed and almost happy we're swirling inside me. But the real question was did I love him enough to forgive what he had done in the past?
"Amy?" My head shot up from my phone facing Laura, "are you ok?" She asked. I didn't reply but looked down at my phone again, Laura sighed, "ok well I've got to go now anyway I think it's best if your alone," she said softly picking up her stuff and leaving my room.
I heard the front door shut as Laura went home but I was still staring at my phone re-reading the last text. Why does this one boy make my life so confusing?
***
I woke up to the sound of the radio being played downstairs and the smell of fry up being cooked. I wasn't hungry but I still got out of bed and headed down the stairs to the kitchen.
My mum was there stood at the cooker with the frying pan and bacon sizzling in it, "hey ams how did you sleep?" My mum asked me looking round at me. I forced a smile, "yeah I guess," I replied whilst sitting down on the stools at the table.
My mum served me bacon and eggs and sat opposite me with hers, "what's wrong?" She asked. I couldn't hide everything from her, I mean she helped me a lot when me and Jai split up and has always listened to me when I needed her too. She was like a best friend to me.
I looked up at my mum and straight away the tears started to fall and I couldn't control it anymore. My mum rushed over to me embracing me in a tight hug, "shhh baby it's ok," she whispered to me.
"It's not ok mum everything's messed up," I sobbed as she let go her hands on my shoulders, "you wanna talk?" She said, I nodded and followed her to the lounge where we sat cuddled up like we used too.
"Right tell me everything from start to finish," my mum told me stroking my hair. I spilled every little detail of what has happened and what I was feeling...etc. From when we got back to school and I was with him in nearly every lesson to the moment when he texted me saying her was sorry and that he hadn't moved on because he still loved me.
"Well hun all I can say is if you feel like butterflies are flying around in your stomach and when he's around you feel happy then I'm afraid you still feel things for him," my mum explained placing a kiss on my head. I replayed what she told me in my head and thought about it...
FLASHBACK TO BEGINNING OF SUMMER:
"Jai put me down!" I shouted playfully hitting Jai's back as he had me slung over his shoulder. "Never!" He shouted back jogging to the pool side.
I was at the Brooks having a bbq party and Jai had picked me up fully clothed btw and carried me through his house and outside...
I realised where he was standing, "no please Jai, I'm begging you don't you dare!" I screamed still hitting his back. He laughed his cute laugh and I felt him let me go and instantly the cold water hit my body and I sunk in the pool.
I resurfaced, "oh my god Jai I hate you!" I shouted at him gliding to the edge, putting my hands on the side. "No you don't," he said before jumping him beside me. I felt his hand travel up my body underwater as he bobbed up facing me, he came closer so our foreheads were touching, "you love me," he whispered his hot breath on my lips, "I know," I whispered back.
He pushed his soft lips onto mine and gently moved with me into a full on make out session. Sparks flew everywhere, it was the perfect kiss...
FLASHBACK OVER
I felt new warm tears fall down my cheeks as I remembered that moment, that perfect moment. My mum wiped the tears away with her thumb, "you'll work this out, and everything will be ok," she said to me.