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*
Zafar
"Fari?" I called out to my wife as she crossed the veranda, carrying a tray filled with tea cups and snacks for my parents.
"Ji?" She paused, looking at me.
"Can I talk to you for a second?" I was getting ready for work. I had been called for a few hours due to shortage at the station.
"I'll just give Ammi Jaan and Baba Jaan this and come." She nodded, before continuing inside.
I went back into our bedroom and continued getting ready. Fariha entered the room a few moments later. She wore an A-line navy blue dress with light blue flowers over it, along with a plain navy blue chudidar, and a net dupatta, also navy blue. I loved this colour on her. With her hair in a messy ponytail, and her eyes studying me curiously, Fariha looked like a pure mixture of beauty and innocence.
Too bad I'm about to disappoint her.
"Fari, I'm sorry in advance." I cleared my throat. "But I don't think it's a good idea to send Omar on a school trip right now. That price is way too unreasonable for two nights, and we just got Dua married. I didn't consider this last night, but I thought things through and..."
I saw the light in her eyes dim a little, but her expression remained the same. "It's okay. I'll explain to him. He was understanding anyway."
"I'm so sorry, Fari. I hate to disappoint you both, but we have to stick to our budget."
"Stop giving me explanations, Zafar." She gave me a reassuring smile. "I understand, and so will Omar. We can take him sometimes in the future. You have studied Government and Politics in college, before you went off to study Law. I'm sure you can teach him things yourself."
She loved me a lot, and she would never say or do anything to hurt me, I know that. She wouldn't even react in a way that would make me feel bad, but I know her too well. Omar might be understanding about it, but as a mother, she would feel awful that we couldn't even do this for our son.
"I'm sorry, Fariha..."
"Mamma, where's my shampoo?!" Saad yelled from the bathroom.
"Coming, beta!" Fariha turned and rushed out, but not before I saw the tears in her eyes.
I felt frustrated at myself. Why am I unable to do the smallest of things for my family?
****
Jasmina
I held the prescription in my hands, reading it like I had a clue what the medication was. I stared at my age and date of birth at the top of the prescription, and I realised something. It was my birthday tomorrow, my twenty-seventh birthday! How am I already twenty-seven? I feel like I'm still nineteen. "Jaan, I have to pick these up from a chemist. There's one down the road, I can just walk there." I looked up at Fawad, who was walking me outside, to book a cab.
He had to start work soon, so he couldn't drive me home. "I'll pick them up for you during my break and drop them off." He looked distracted though. At first I'd thought that he was worried about me, but it was much more than that.
"Theek hain aap?" I touched his arm lightly.
*"Are you okay?"
I grinned. "Jet lagged still? Bohat thak gaye honge na aap pichle dinon ke baad, jaan? Koi nahin. Aap ghar aayain aur main aap ki saari thakawat dour kardoon gi."
*"You must be very tired from the last few days? It's okay. When you come home, I'll get rid of your tiredness."
Not a cheeky grin, not a wink, no reaction. Nothing.
"Main theek hoon, Fawad." I reassured him. "Kyun itni fikar karte hain aap meri?"
*"I'm okay, Fawad."
"Why do you worry about me so much?"
He was staring at his phone as we stepped outside the front sliding doors of the hospital. "I'm booking a cab. Don't worry about the prescription. I'll deal with it."
"I'll book a cab and deal with the prescription myself." I told him. "But you need to tell me why you are so tensed."
"Ghar jao, Mina." He simply said. "Ek minute main aarahi hai cab."
*"Go home, Mina."
"The cab is coming in a minute."
"Fawad...." I was feeling confused. He now sounded like I was irritating him.
He turned his back to me.
I lost it. I had no idea what I had done to deserve this. "Hormonal main hoon, mood swings aap ke ho rahe hain." As the cab pulled up, I got in and slammed the door, feeling tears in my eyes as the driver pulled away.
*"I'm the one who's hormonal, and you're the one having the mood swings."
Pata nahin kya hogaya hai unko.
*I don't know what's gotten into him.
****
Ahad
"Why did he ride my bike?" I frowned at Zoya.
"How else would we have gotten it back?" She looked confused. "You planned on riding it with a broken leg? Or should I have ridden it during my first trimester?"
"He's twenty, he's an inexperienced bike rider!" I told her.
"He said that he could ride a bike!" She sat on he bed beside me. "The drivers are trustworthy in this family, you know that better than I do."
"It's not about trust, Zo! He can drive a car, that's not even an issue." I looked at her, irritated. "But if he, as an inexperienced person, rides my bike, he could have gotten in an accident as well. Our staff is also our responsibility, Zoya. I wouldn't have forgiven myself if he had gotten hurt while bringing my bike back. Their lives are not any less important than ours, regardless of what others believe."
"Acha ghalti hogayi! Ab kya mar dain ge mujhe?!" She snapped, jumping up to her feet.
*"Okay, I've made a mistake! Would you kill me for it?"
We both froze at her words.
"Zo, I'm just trying to...."
"You're trying to patronise me!" She burst into tears. "You think I'm a stupid, dumb bimbo!"
"How did you jump to that conclusion?" I asked in disbelief.
"You know what? Forget it! I'm going to sleep in Jasmina's room tonight!" She headed out, slamming the door behind her.
Did I do something wrong? Did I behave insensitively?
Why did I feel at fault here? I was just trying to point out that it wasn't right to send an inexperienced boy to ride my bike out here. He could have hurt himself.
Her body is experiencing massive changes right now, and even she would be feeling irritated by her own mixture of emotions. I needed to give her space, and speak to her calmly, when she feels better. If I get angry right now, not only would that make the situation worse, but she will feel bad as well.
But I literally had no idea how to correctly behave in a situation like this.
****
Zoya
I felt guilty at the way I had exploded. But my emotions were all over the place right now, and all I wanted to do was cry. I had a feeling that even the smallest thing would offend me right now, and if I stayed in the room with Ahad, I would say something that would make him feel bad.
I grabbed my phone and typed on it.
<Zoya: I'm sorry. :( >
I set it aside and clutched the purple throw cushion to my chest. Jasmina's room still looked like a teenage girl's room, apart from the cot in the corner that had been set up for Hania by Ammi and Papa when they'd thought that my Nand would stay here for a while.
My phone vibrated and I glanced down at it.
<Ahad: Me too. I didn't mean to sound like a pr**k.>
<Zoya: You didn't. You were right. I would have felt terrible as well if anything had happened to the kid.>
<Ahad: Come back to the room?>
I couldn't help smiling.
<Zoya: Let's just say I'm in my maika right now. Let me stay here for a while, and I will come back when I feel like there's no more chances of an argument.>
<Ahad: Okay, but why do I miss you? You're literally just down the hall?>
<Zoya: Because I fill your life up with colours, jaaneman.>
Now I giggled.
<Ahad: Love you, Zo.>
<Zoya: I love you too.>
We were so damn weird. Texting each other like two teenagers who were forbidden to date.
But I'm glad that we somehow managed to sort out our argument without making it worse. I was proud of us.
I put my hand over my stomach, and excitement filled me. My baby. Mine and Ahad's baby. I can' wait to hold you in my arms, little biker. I already love you so, so much.
****
Arhaan
"It's my birthday tomorrow. I can't believe you're leaving tomorrow as well!" Jazzy pouted.
"Beta, if it wasn't for work, I wouldn't have left tomorrow, even if I had to pay two thousand pounds to change the tickets." I patted her head. "But I need to be at work, and so does Nazia."
Nazia handed her a lilac envelope. "But this is your birthday present in advance from us. Open it after midnight."
We were leaving on an early morning flight, and would head to the airport at six.
Jazzy nodded and tears filled her eyes, but she lowered her gaze.
Nazia looked from me, to her and then back. "I'll go check on Hania and Iman." She politely excused herself and left, probably feeling like I might need to talk to my sister.
"Ammi aur Papa yaad aarahe hain? Ya kuch aur baat hai?" I asked, concerned.
*"Are you missing Ammi and Papa? Or is it something else?"
She sniffed. "You know I always miss Ammi and Papa on my birthday, as well as you and Ahad Bhai. I'm lucky that at least you and Bhabi are here this time."
At the Sheikh family home, Jasmina's birthday used to be a grand occasion. Papa, especially, spoiled her rotten, by getting her truckloads of gifts. She was his princess, their only daughter.
"Fawad hai na ab tumhare paas, aur Hania aur Iman." I said, softly. "Shaadi ke baad baaz aukat halaat nahin allow karte ke hum important occasions apni puri family ke saath mana sakain, laikin at least tumhare paas tumhari yeh waali puri family hai. Aur ab to Fatima Aunty bhi aayain hui hain."
*"Now you have Fawad, as well as Hania and Iman."
"After marriage, often our circumstances do not allow us to celebrate important occasions along with our whole family, but at least you have your entire family from this side. And now, Fatima Aunty is here as well."
She nodded.
I felt something was wrong. Fawad had come home in he break to drop off her medication, but she hadn't even looked at him. They'd both avoided saying anything to each other apart from 'Salaam', and 'Allah Hafiz'. But I had enough faith in both of them to know that they would sort things out. When it comes to their relationship, they were experts at fixing things.
When Fawad used to worry about Fariha's relationship with Umair, that was a general worry, and I agreed with him. But I had nothing to worry about when it came to my little sister because her husband was the complete opposite of that sewer rat, Umair. I knew that Fawad didn't love anyone more than Jasmina, so even if he was at fault here, he would fix it...and vice versa.
But as Jasmina's older brother, I couldn't resist giving her an advice. "Beta, jaise samajhdari se tum donon cheezain sambhalte aaye ho, waise hi karte rehna. Shaiytan chaske laita hai jab kisi ki shaadi main problems aati hain. Aur jitna pyara tumhara aur Fawad ka rishta hai, Ma Sha Allah, Shaiytan ko to double mazaa aata ho ga tum donon ke beech main problems daal ke."
*"Beta, always keep handling things as maturely as you both have been handling them so far. Shaiytan enjoys it when there are problems in a marriage. And your and Fawad's relationship is so lovely, Ma Sha Allah, that the devil must get double enjoyment from creating problems between you two."
"Thank you, Bhai."
I patted her head again. "Jab bhi Shaiytan bhadkanay ki koshish kare, yaad rakhna ke Fawad ne tumhare liye kya kya nahin kiya."
*"Whenever Shaiytan tries to lead you astray, remember everything that Fawad has done for you."
She looked thoughtful.
I smiled. My sister was more mature than people gave her credit for. I trusted her completely.
****
Jasmina
23:59.
One minute, and there was no sign that Fawad remembered my birthday. I was used to him being the first one to wish me, and call me spoilt, but I didn't want to be wished by anyone else before him.
I was sitting in my bedroom with Iman on the bed in front of me. She was still up, and was happily moving her limbs as if it was the middle of the day.
My phone vibrated and I glanced at it, glumly. It must be a message from one of my family members. Fawad would have called, not messaged.
But I was surprised to see that it was a voice message from him. Just as I was about to play it, a video call from Lahore came through, from my parents. Feeling immensely guilty, I let it ring until the call dropped. I then pressed my husband's voice message.
"Do minute main emergency surgery main jaa raha hoon, isi liye voice message chodh raha hoon. Happy Birthday, Jaan. Allah aapko lambi zindagi de, aur sehat tandarosti de. Ameen. Bohat mohabbat karta hoon main aap se. Ghar aake celebrate karoon ga aapki birthday aapke saath. Allah Hafiz. Apna bohat khayal rakhna."
*"I have to go to an emergency surgery in two minutes, so I'm leaving you a voice message. Happy Birthday, Jaan. May Allah give you a long live and good health. Ameen. I love you a lot. I will celebrate your birthday with you when I come home. Allah Hafiz. Take very good care of yourself."
For a few seconds, I silently cried, my shoulders shaking. Of course he didn't forget! He's Fawad Ali, my soulmate, the love of my life, the man who'd do anything for me.
I then dialled my parents' number, feeling like the worst daughter ever. I'd prioritised the man who was my life over the people who had given me life, on my birthday. It was a moral dilemma, and I had no idea whether I did the right thing or not.
As I spoke to my parents, I realised that I hadn't had mehendi done like Fawad had requested, and I decided to go in the morning to have it done from somewhere.
I decided to cheekily thank Fawad for his loving message once I had called Ammi and Papa and Ahad Bhai, and after the conference call with Zoya Bhai and Fariha.
Putting Iman down into her cot, I lay back in my own bed, hair spread out, and unbuttoned the top two buttons of my flannel night suit shirt. Then biting my lip in a way that he absolutely loved, I took a selfie and sent it to him, with the message: I'll thank you properly for this when you get home, but here's what you can expect. Love you forever. Yours Eternally, Jasmina.
*Ignore my title references. *Grinning mischievously.*
****
After Bhai and Bhabi had left for the airport, I fed and changed Iman, checked on Hania, and then went back to bed. Ammi was still asleep, and I figured that I could at least rest for two more hours before I had to get up for the day.
As I snuggled up under the duvet, lying in the middle of the bed, I fell asleep quite easily. It was one of those days where I felt even more grateful for my home. There's literally no place like home, Dorothy.
I was woken up by Fawad's arm around me, and the scent of his shampoo. I turned to face him, looking up at him through one eye open as I struggled to get rid of the sleep. "Assalam Alaikum. Aagaye aap?"
*"You're home?"
"Walaikum Assalam. Happy Birthday, meri jaan. Yeh kya bhaija tha? Shohar ko hospital main bhi cold shower dilwane ke iraday thay aap ke?"
*"What did you send me? Did you intend to make your husband have a cold shower in the hospital as well?"
I smiled, closing my eyes and snuggling up against his chest. He kissed my forehead. Then I remembered our little tension, and I sat up. "Kal kya ho gaya tha aap ko?" I frowned at him.
*"What happened to you yesterday?"
He glanced down at his hand, which now rested on my thigh, over the duvet. He was sitting up as well now, his feet on the floor. "Tumhain aur bache chahiye hain?"
*"Do you want more kids?"
I blinked at him, surprised. "Pehle mood swings aur ab yeh sawal. Baap banay waaley hain aap?" I teased him, once I had composed myself.
*"First the mood swings, and now this question. Are you expecting a child?"
He didn't even crack a smile. In fact, as I looked into his eyes, I could have sworn that I saw guilt in them.
"Umm... maine socha nahin is baare main." I brushed my hair aside. "Filhal to bilkul perfect hai humari family. Agar Allah ne chaha aur aulaad hogayi aur, to theek hai, warna main abhi bhi khush hoon, Hania aur Iman ke saath."
*"Umm...I never really thought about it."
"For now, our family is perfect. If Allah wishes that we have more kids, than it's fine, otherwise I'm still completely happy, with Hania and Iman."
"Mere kal se dimagh pathay jaa raha hai soch soch kar ke agar meri wajah se tum dobara maa na ban saki..." He buried his face in his hands.
*"I've been under a lot of tension since yesterday, thinking that if you can't be a mother again because of me..."
"What do you mean?" I was genuinely confused.
"I overheard what the doctor said to you. About how accidents like these can cause difficult in conceiving kids." His voice was muffled. "You fell off the bed, you got hurt because of me."
I wanted to cry as I suddenly understood his behaviour. He knew that I fell off the bed because of him, and this was exactly why I didn't want him to find out. He was blaming himself, especially after hearing the doctor's words. "Aapko chahiyain aur bache?"
*"Do you want more kids?"
"Honestly, Mina," He looked at me. "I'm grateful to Allah in either circumstances. Hania and Iman are incredible blessings, Alhumdulillah. And I'm happy with or without more kids."
"Dekhain, Fawad, mere se zayada samajhdar hain aap, to aap to samajhte hain ke agar hamare naseeb main aur aulaad likhi hai, to hogi, chahe doctors kuch bhi kehdain. Allah ke liye to kuch namumkin nahin hai. Aur agar aur aulaad nahin likhi, to agar main aur aap perfectly capable bhi hon, to nahin hogi. Hamari aagay aulaad ho ya na ho, hum Allah pe chodh detay hain, okay? Laikin meri baat ghaur se sunain aap, main bohat khush hoon, Alhumdulillah. Meri nazar main humari family bilkul mukamal hai." I wrapped my arm around his shoulders and leaned forward to whisper to him.
*"Look, Fawad, you are more sensible than I am, so you must realise that if we are destined to have more kids, we will have them, regardless of what the doctors say. Nothing is impossible for Allah. And if we are not meant to have more kids, then even if you and I are perfectly capable of having kids, we won't have them. Whether we have more kids or not, we'll leave it to Allah, okay? But listen to me carefully, I am very happy, Alhumdulillah. In my opinion, our family is complete."
I kissed his shoulder. "And next time, just talk to me rather than bottling it up."
"I can't bare the thought that you got hurt because of me."
I got back into my teasing mode. "Kyun? Kisi baat ka badla liya hai mujhse?" I got on my knees behind him and wrapped my arms around his bare waist, kissing his back. "Jaan booch ke to nahin dhaka maara apni jaan-se-pyari biwi ko?" I giggled.
*"Why? Did you take revenge on me for something?"
"Did you intentionally push your dearer-than-life wife?"
"Yes, mujhe aur space chahiye thi na bed pe." He muttered, sarcastically.
*"Yes, I needed more space on the bed."
"Bas karain ab. Aaj meri birthday hai. Aaj saara din aap khush rahain ge. Agar aap nahin khush, to main kaise khush reh sakti hoon? Aap chahte hain ke main apni birthday pe bhi udaas rahoon?" I was full-on emotionally blackmailing him now.
"Stop it now. It's my birthday today. You'll stay happy the whole day today. If you are not happy, how can I be happy? Do you want me to remain sad on my birthday?"
"Mehendi nahin lagwayi?" He asked, lifting my hands up and kissing them. This was such a hilarious position that we were sitting in.
*"You didn't have mehendi done?"
"Jaa rahi hoon aaj lagwane, meri bachiyon ke baap. Bhool gayi thi, maaf kardain mujhe." I said, dramatically.
*"I'm going to have it done today, the father of my daughters. I forgot, forgive me."
"Kisne ghutti di hai tumhain?" He shook his head. "Itne dramay karti ho, jaan."
*Ghutti (I'm sure that I'm getting the word wrong, please correct me), is the first thing a baby is fed (exception of milk). It is believe that whoever gives the baby this, the baby takes after them. I don't know the basis of this belief, but people in my family believe it."
"Who gave you 'ghutti'?"
"You are such a Drama Queen, jaan."
"Arhaan Bhai ne. He insisted." I closed my eyes, resting my head against my husband's back. I could stay here forever.
*"Arhaan Bhai did."
"Why am I not surprised?" He chuckled.
"Accidents happen, jaan." I whispered. "Laikin Allah ke baad agar mujhe kisi pe bharosa hai, woh aap hain. Aap kabhi bhi mujhe jaan booch ke nuksan nahin pohoncha sakte, main jaanti hoon."
*"But If I trust anyone after Allah, it's you. You can never intentionally hurt me, I know that."
I moved over to straddle his lap, before kissing his cheeks and then his forehead. We couldn't get intimate because of the return of the monthly visitor, but we lay snuggled up in bed together for a long time. He fell asleep, but I remained awake with my head resting against his chest.
I looked up at his sleeping profile and I thanked Allah once again for sending me to this earth so that I could meet my soulmate, the love of my life.
I'm sure that I was created just for you, Fawad.
****
Fariha
"Omar will go on the school trip." Ammi Jaan announced in the morning, over breakfast.
Zafar and I looked up at her, shocked.
"He was excitedly talking about it to me, about where the school planned on taking him, and he should go." My mother-in-law explained.
"Ammi, we..." Zafar began.
Baba Jaan held up his hand. "We have enough that we can send our grandson on a school trip, Zafar. He's going, and that's final. This is Omar's first proper present from his Dada Jaan and Dadi Jaan."
I felt tears in my eyes. "Ammi Jaan, Baba Jaan..."
Fortunately, the kids had already eaten and were playing in the veranda, so they missed this conversation.
Zafar looked at me, and I returned his gaze, now knowing what to say.
"There's no room for argument, you two." Baba Jaan ordered. "Omar is going, and I won't hear another word of it."
"He is a sweet, mature and a highly intelligent boy." Ammi Jaan added. "We shouldn't take away such opportunities from him. If we can, we should let him experience as much as he can, especially when it comes to his education."
I had no idea what I had done to deserve such amazing in-laws. "Omar is a very lucky boy."
"He's also a very respectful, well-raised boy, Fariha." Ammi Jaan told me. "As a mother, you should be incredibly proud of him. Ma Sha Allah. Zafar, give sadqah for all three kids."
"Yes, Ammi." Zafar nodded, obediently.
I wondered if he was okay with this decision.
****
"Are you angry?" I asked my husband nervously, as he went to our room to get ready. I had followed him there.
"Why would I be angry?"
"I didn't go to your parents to complain about you." I explained.
"Meri Maa ko jaake meri shikayat lagao gi?" A scene of Umair violently shaking me by the shoulders in our early days of marriage ran through my mind.
*"Will you go and complain to my mother about me?"
He smiled at me. "Fariha, I never said that you did, sweetheart. My parents adore Omar and Saad like they adore Zaid, and if Omar innocently mentioned this to my parents, what's there to be upset or angry about?"
"Main aapke har decision ki dil se izzat karti hoon, Zafar." I continued trying to explain myself.
*"I respect your every decision genuinely, Zafar."
He frowned and walked over to me. "I'm not Umair." He put his hands on my shoulders. "You don't need to give me explanations, unless you've made an actual mistake, and you certainly don't need to fear me or my reactions in any way. No matter how angry I am, I will never hurt you, Fariha. Aurat ya ladki pe buzdil aur kamzor insaan haath uthatay hain."
*"Only the cowardly or weak people hurt a woman or a girl."
He lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed it, his gaze focused on mine.
"Aur aap na buzdil hain aur na kamzor, mere bahadur afsar" I smiled. "Ma Sha Allah."
*"And you're not cowardly or weak, my brave officer."
"I'm sorry that I am not able to provide everything for our sons." He suddenly looked embarrassed.
"Meri nazar se dekhain to apne to koi kami chodhi hi nahin hai." I said. "Sab kuch to diya hai humain aap ne."
*"In my opinion, we lack nothing because of you."
"You have given us everything."
He cupped my face between his hands and kissed me. "I love you, Fariha."
"I love you, too."
We hugged each other for a long time, losing ourselves in the embrace.
It took time for us to find each other, but I'm glad that we did. It was so worth the wait.
****
Ahad
I winced in pain and groaned as pain suddenly shot up my leg. I reached towards the side table to grab my painkillers and a glass of water, but I hit the glass instead, causing it to fall and shatter on the floor. "Bloody hell."
"Ahad!" Zoya rushed in, looking panicked. "Are you okay?!"
As she neared the shattered glass, without looking, I shouted out, "Zoya, stop!" I held out my hand, and nodded towards the floor.
Her eyes widened as she realised that she'd almost stepped into broken glass. She quickly climbed onto the bed and moved closer to me. "Are you hurt?"
I shook my head. "I just needed some painkiller."
"Are you in pain?"
"I think the word 'painkiller' gives away the answer, jaaneman." I gave her a small smile.
"Don't be over-smart. I'll get this cleaned up, and get you some more water." She began to move away.
I grabbed her hand. "I'm sorry. Do you forgive me?"
"You didn't do anything wrong, silly." She rolled her eyes. "I'm sorry. My emotions..."
"Don't apologise, especially if pregnancy caused that reaction. You are keeping my baby in there for nine months, you have a free pass." I whispered, staring into her beautiful eyes. "I just need to learn to be a bit patient."
"No, Ahad. I know my emotions are beyond my control, but I need to try and control my words at least. I was rude, and I'm sorry."
"No apologies. I get it." I reached out and pressed a hand against her belly. "Baby, you'll have mad parents, but it's a guarantee that they'll always be crazy about each other. Your Mama and I love each other way to much to stay away from each other, or angry at each other for too long, so don't be afraid, okay? If you can hear or understand or fights, don't worry. We'll always find a a way back to each other, In Sha Allah."
Zoya was smiling tearfully at me.
Everything I have done has led me to Zoya. And even though I regret what I did, and I have repented for it, I still wouldn't change anything. My mistakes led me to the one person who truly taught me the meaning of walking on the right path.
You're my entire world and more, Zoya Ahad Sheikh.
****
I tend to try and set a theme for a chapter, which each couple/different families go through. This one was guilt and supportive spouses.
I'm writing more about Fawad and Mina because the end is near, and I would like to mention them more towards the end, because without them this series wouldn't exist.
Disappointment is natural, but Fariha would never complain to Zafar because she is not just grateful to Allah for everything, she's also grateful to Zafar for giving her a second chance at life.
Pregnancy is takes a toll on a woman emotionally, physically and mentally, and a good spouse is very much required to support her through that. Ahad is trying his best to be that.
Thoughts and comments?
Thank you for reading and don't forget to vote!