It was early December before I heard Theo's name again.
It wasn't that I had forgotten, how could I? It was just that things at Hogwarts seemed to speed up in the winter, and I was more than occupied with quidditch, school, my friends, and Remus.
The morning I had woken up from my coma, Alice, Lily, and Marlene explained what they knew of the situation: Alice had seen me enter the lake from our dorm window, and then about ten minutes later Theo got up with a smile to leave. The three of them had rushed to Dumbledore's office, and he had them wait there. After about a half an hour, Professor McGonagall was sent for them, and they found me in the hospital wing looking grey, bleeding from every surface, entirely soaked, and frowning arbitrarily.
It had occurred to me early on to ask the headmaster for details on my brother's whereabouts, but Remus seemed to dislike anything to do with the old wizard, and so I decided against it.
After a few weeks, when I started spending the nights with Remus and the nightmares stopped, I had pushed the name to the back of my thoughts.
Until one day in early December.
"Surprised his plan fell through," Severus had said during Herbology one morning.
Although for the rest of the school the enticement of my status was old news, the greasy boy was still not over his prejudice and bullying.
I ignored him.
"Theo's, I mean," he continued.
My hands stopped moving and he sneered knowing he had my attention.
"What did you do to him anyways?"
"Shut it, Snivellus," James warned, plucking the berries off of his mistletoe plant and glaring at the boy.
"Hey, I don't want any trouble," Severus said lightly, putting his hands up. "Wouldn't want to get pulled to the bottom of the lake or anything."
Sirius, who was closest, dove at him and pinned his shoulders down on the ground.
"Mr. Black!" Professor Sprout cried, but Sirius ignored her.
"Say it again," he dared. Severus did not. "That's what I thought. Fucking pitiful."
"Mr. Black that is quite enough."
Sirius rose to his feet, standing over Severus, and blew a piece of hair out of his face. He held out his hand to help up the boy, but just as Severus began to rise, Sirius shoved him back down and stepped over him, walking back to his place by Peter.
"10 points from Gryffindor," Sprout directed fervently. Sirius shrugged.
He made eye contact with me across the room and I mouthed a quick 'Thank you' to which he replied with a wink.
After class, I figured it was time to face what happened and talk to Dumbledore.
My friends all offered to come with, but I declined, knowing it was something I had to do alone. I knew that they were waiting outside, though, which did provide a little bit of comfort.
"Good morning, Miss Carter," the man greeted as I entered. "I was wondering when you'd be visiting."
He offered me a seat by his desk, which was cluttered with papers and magical knick knacks. I thanked him and took it.
"Am I correct in assuming that you would like to discuss the events of your attack?" He peered over his half moon glasses with a polite smile. I nodded.
"My friends told me about how they found me and sent for you," I explained. "But I don't know much after that."
He nodded and squinted his eyes slightly as if pondering some far away thought.
"Yes, well Miss Fortescue came to my office promptly, which may have saved your life, might I add," I smiled slightly. "Professor McGonagall and I went out to the Great Lake at once to find the shore abandoned. We used a bit of advanced Transfiguration to bring ourselves down to where you were.
"It took a few hexes in order to gain their attention, but after they recognized us we shared a few words and you were released."
I was quiet for a moment, processing the information. It seemed so simple of him, the merpeople hadn't even put up a fight.
"What about Theo?" I asked.
"Pardon?"
"My brother, what happened to him?"
Dumbledore looked utterly perplexed. He folded his hands and pressed his mouth into a line.
"I'm afraid I don't know who you mean."
I descended the spiral staircase to find my friends sitting with their backs against the wall. When they noticed me, they immediately rose to their feet.
I smiled slightly to acknowledge them, but stayed quiet. The hallway didn't seem like the proper place to disclose the information I had just received.
We entered the Great Hall and took seats at the end of the table, which was our only option considering we were relatively late to the meal.
We filled our plates silently, everyone waiting for me to talk.
"He doesn't go here," I muttered after a few moments.
"How do you mean?"
I shrugged.
"He's just, he's not a Hogwarts student."
"Like they expelled him?"
"No," I took a breath. "Like he was never a student here."
They fell silent, likely feeling as confused and mixed up by the news as I was.
"That's why he was never in robes," Lily said.
Her statement was true. The first night that I saw him, he had on a pair of jeans. When he took a seat at the Slytherin table he was in sweats. In the library he had on khakis and a sweatshirt. All that time I had just assumed he had a free or was getting ready for bed, but really he just didn't own a set of robes.
"And why he wasn't maroon," Peter added.
This was also true, and I had totally missed it. The day of the attack, when Theo came to find me in the Great Hall, to trap me, his skin and hair were normal. He had masked himself as a Slytherin, and so he should have been a deep maroon. But he wasn't.
"How the hell did he get in?" Marlene asked, scooping some corn into her mouth.
"Dumbledore probably invited him," Remus grumbled.
"Mate, Dumbledore is not evil," James laughed. Remus said nothing but I knew he disagreed.
"So what's to happen to him?" asked Alice. I shrugged again.
"Not like Dumbledore can do much if he was never enrolled," I said.
"So he just gets to disappear?"
"I guess."
It did seem quite unjust. Not only had he somehow snuck into the school and impersonated a student, Theo had assisted in the murder of my mom, as well as in my own attempted murder.
"I'm sure they're doing something," Lily assured. "They wouldn't take news like that lightly."
"Yeah, maybe," I said.
Truthfully, I wasn't sure how I was supposed to feel. I knew Theo was a deceitful and would go to no end to ruin my life, but I was continuously finding more and more seeds of lies that he had told. It was a bit overwhelming. Also, though, I was slightly relieved that I wouldn't have to see him around. Even though that meant he was out in the world, waiting for me.
That night, Remus and I slept in my dorm. We were sitting on my bed with the curtains pulled and a silencing charm while I asked his opinion on the whole affair.
"I don't see how someone like that can break into the castle undetected," he said with frustration.
"Because Dumbledore sucks," I joked, trying to make him ease up. He breathed out a laugh.
"Are you alright?" He met my eyes. "This was the first time he's been brought up in a while."
"I think so," I replied. "At least now I know what happened. I just wish we knew where he was."
Remus took my hand.
"Don't worry," he said. "It's not like you can get rid of the seven of us. I'd like to see him try something." I smiled.
"And maybe this time you'll listen when I tell you not to go anywhere alone with that prick."
"When did you say that?" I laughed.
"That night by the fire," he insisted. "You promised actually."
"Oh, you're right," I blushed slightly remembering the evening.
"I'm always right."
"Well that's a lie."
"Is not."
"Is too."
"Either way, you broke the promise," he pouted.
"Aw," I ruffled his hair. "Do you wanna redo it?"
He grinned and nodded.
"Okay," I laughed at his childishness. "I promise to 'never go anywhere alone with that prick.'"
"Good," he said, linking his pinky with mine. "And I promise to keep that pretty little smile on your face forever."
Ugh the feelings.
I spun his hand around to kiss his thumb and he did the same, both of us smiling so wide that I felt we might implode.
________
A/N
song: over my head - the fray
how i think it applies: i think all of the news about theo and being reintroduced to his name and the memories after syd finally started to heal is super overwhelming and she's in 'over her head' but she has people she can rely on now, and so even with the fast paced emotions that this song represents she can still push through (also some of the lyrics mach up pretty well)
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3uIilURPYXouyAzxQuBr4L?si=tLfGI5MFSeSY_Y0yLWDPlA