A/N: hold onto your butts everyone, this one's gonna kick your ass (hopefully)
***
The closeness of our bodies sends pure electricity pumping through every corner of my body with each rapid beat of my heart. I'm not quite certain of what is happening between us, but I am in no position to think logically about anything, with his beautiful crystalline eyes boring into mine.
He leans in ever so slightly. He wants to close the gap between our faces; I can tell because of the way his gaze flits to my lips and back up to my eyes, asking silent permission.
I am too starstruck to say anything but, "Loki."
His name has a different taste on my tongue. Before, I was indifferent to the man standing in front of me, thinking of him as arrogant and annoying and much too full of himself. I could never have imagined wanting to kiss him, as I am desiring right now.
I must be out of my fucking mind. Wanting to kiss Loki?? The man who terrorized New York, has no sense of morality, and the tendency to betray those who trust him?
But I'll be damned if he doesn't look gorgeous in a suit and has a charming personality.
Before I can even begin to sort out my mixed emotions, I hear someone behind Loki and me clear their throat loudly. Loki, looking somewhat annoyed, pulls me to his side and turns us around to meet Bucky and Sam face-to-face.
They do not look amused.
"You cheated," Sam deadpans. His arms are crossed over his chest, while Bucky, with his long hair tied up, stands rigidly beside him.
"We did nothing of the sort," Loki counters.
Bucky sets his jaw and squints at us. Immediately my face feels hot because I know what Bucky's doing. He's reading my face and body language like a regular Sherlock Holmes.
"What did you do to y/n?" Bucky asks harshly.
"Bucky, stop," I say.
"What, did you trick them? Put them under a spell?"
"I told you," Loki says between grit teeth, "I did nothing. We won fairly."
Sam is not convinced. He casts an unreadable look at his partner and it comes to my attention that for once, both of them are on the same page.
"Listen," Loki tells them, trying to keep his voice even. "We do not have time for this. We need to leave this party before Vein figures out where the flash drive went."
That seems to resonate with them. "Didn't look like you were in any hurry before," Bucky mumbles.
Loki steps toward him, but I hold my partner back. "Don't," I whisper.
"Come on," Sam decides with a sigh and a shake of his head. "Let's regroup with the others and get the hell out of here before things go to shit."
***
"Well, I have to give you guys credit," Tony says after taking a dramatically long sip of his champagne. "I was really not expecting this."
"Glad you had so much faith in us," I murmur. Loki smiles.
"Also I heard through a little bird that Reindeer Games was trying to hook up with you." Tony eyes me carefully through his glasses. "Is this true?"
"What the hell bird told you that?"
"One named the Falcon," Bucky smirked. He and Steve fist bump each other.
"Whatever it is, it's not true," I claim. "We were just acting like a couple."
"Didn't look like that to me," Bucky said.
"What business is it of yours, anyway, Bucky?" I retaliate, struggling to keep my voice low so as not to draw attention. "What we did must have worked, since we won."
Bucky stares at me, steely silent. I scowl at him, but on the inside, I'm very pleased with Loki and myself. Being partnered together turned out to not be such a bad thing.
"You know," I continue, feeling something defensive crawl up my throat, "you should be a little nicer to Loki, too. If you stop judging him for his past, you'll come to find out that he's actually a very respectable person. For superheroes, you guys can be kind of ruthless to him."
The Avengers look stunned. I glimpse Nat and she's smiling faintly at me, eyes glittering.
I open my mouth to speak some more about the topic, but Bruce suddenly leans in and says urgently, "Security, twelve o'clock."
"Shit," breathes Tony. He looks at the group, his gaze lingering over me and Loki before saying, "Keep it calm and subtle. Do not under any circumstances let Vein see the drive. That means you, Reindeer Games."
Loki nods in cooperation and in a flash, the drive disappears into thin air. He looks over at me, hoping I'll be impressed. But I'm too worried about the big, burly men accompanying Vein and all the dancers around us looking straight in our direction.
Vein's dress shoes clack against the white marble floor. My stomach flips and I keep my mouth shut to refrain from saying something stupid.
"Well, well, well," he drawls, glancing over all of us in our formal wear. "Nobody told me the Avengers were going to crash my party." He looks over at me and Loki and shakes his head in disappointment. Loki grabs my hand instinctively. I squeeze it.
"Giovanni! So good to see y--" Tony begins, but Vein cuts him off.
"That's Mr. Vein to you, Stark."
Tony closes his mouth. "Mr. Vein."
"That's better." Vein proceeds to pace around our group, inspecting us with his beautiful, hawk-like eyes. "Such a shame you are not torn into pieces from the attack I had commanded. Thousands of dollars worth of tech, destroyed. And still, you have the gall to come onto my turf and stick your noses into my personal business. Tell me, how long did it take you to find it?"
"We don't know what you're talking about," Clint states. His eyes are searching the ballroom for the quiver of arrows he hid behind a large vase of flowers.
Vein sighs. "Lying will do you no good when you are so easily within my grasp. Now tell me again--" he leans forward into Tony's face, seething, "where is the hard drive?"
Tony says nothing, but stares straight into Vein's eyes. A strand of Vein's blond hair falls into his face. Vein goes to brush it away.
That's when Tony takes the opportunity to land a firm punch to his jaw.
"Go, get out of here!" Tony shouts at us. While Vein and his security guards are momentarily stunned, Tony turns on his earpiece and whispers something into it. Probably ordering Happy to bring in the jet immediately.
Loki wastes no time, grabbing my hand and pulling me away from the scene. Nat and Wanda stay behind to help Tony both distract and fend off the security guards. Clint races to find his quiver in the event he has to use it; Cap looks after Bruce to make sure he doesn't shift in front of everyone. Sam and Bucky help usher the people to safety.
"What about the others?" I pant, racing to keep up with Loki.
"They will catch up," he replies, voice hard. "We need to get to safety first."
But there's no chance for that. More security guards in black uniforms gather at the front doors to the mansion and block our path.
"Shit," Loki swears.
He pulls me toward the double doors on the opposite side of the ballroom, the doors that lead to the courtyard. He tells me we can jump the fence and escape to the street.
"That'll work?" I ask, weaving through the disgruntled and worried dancers.
"I'll make it work," he assures me.
Shouts ensue as the security guards pull out guns and point them at the various heroes trying to escape. One large, heavyset man waddles over to the courtyard doors and blocks them with his body.
"Not so fast, pretty thing," he tells me, raising his weapon till I'm staring down the barrel.
I kick him in the balls, making him crumble and drop his gun. Loki swiftly collects it from the group just as I'm giving the security guard a punch to the gut, just for being an asshole.
The gleaming black metal of the gun contrasts against the pale skin of my partner's hands. I place my hand on his arm and tell him, "We need to help the others."
"It would be wiser to escape right now," he counters.
"Too bad I'm a reckless bitch."
Adrenaline pumps through my veins and makes my heart feel light when he smiles at me.
"Fair enough. Let's get this over with."
I target Vein almost instantaneously. His blond head and gleaming piercings makes him distinguishable from the crowd of frantic people. I nod my head in Vein's direction. Loki follows behind me, gripping the gun tightly.
Before we approach the scene, Loki whips out a knife from seemingly nowhere and hands it to me.
"Where the hell were you hiding this?"
He pats his lower half and smirks. I look at the knife with distaste.
"You mean I gotta touch a knife that's been right next to your d--"
"LOOK OUT!"
I whirl around only to be greeted by a rushing body ready to tackle me to the floor. The lumbering security guard whose balls I flattened was greedy for revenge.
I'm not fazed. When he gets close enough, I grip his wrist, punch him in the gut again and flip him over right onto the rock solid floor.
Loki's mouth had dropped open while I took down the man. "Close your mouth, honey. We're not finished yet," I say politely.
"Of-- of course, darling."
Steve whips out his shield and uses it to deflect an incoming punch from a guard who yells in pain at the contact. I get Steve's back and take down a guard that was about ready to shoot Cap in the spine. He man falls to the ground with an oof and does not get back up.
"Let's find Vein," Loki suggests.
I snort. "That's Mr. Vein to you."
Loki looks at me with an expression I have never seen on him before. Admiration.
Feeling warm, I twirl Loki's knife in my hands and nudge his shoulder. "C'mon."
The fight went well for the most part. I tried to usher away all the dancers out the courtyard door and got most of them to safety. Some had raced upstairs and down the long hallways, and I decided not to follow them; they were safe enough up there, away from the action.
We took down enough of the guards to finally have some breathing room. I couldn't help but admire Loki, who never left my side (I assumed he was still playing the part of the 'loving couple'). He never fired his gun once, but fought mostly with his fists, moving with agility and confidence. If I didn't know better, I would never have guessed he had a villain past.
Vein and Tony were at each other's throats. Tony had assumed his suit of armor, but that didn't seem to stop Vein from getting in his face.
"I can do more with that drive than you ever could!" Vein screams. "Better tech, better blueprints. You're a fraud, Stark, and a horrible friend!"
"I don't need to be your friend anymore," Tony says evenly. "You're too controlling. You're focused on the wrong things. It's not about power or money; it never was. Technology must be used for the good of the people."
"I think that's the smartest sentence I have ever heard Stark speak," Loki whispers to me. I giggle.
"And you." Vein whips toward me. "I never should have trusted you."
"Feelings mutual, babe," I yawn.
Tony took care of Vein after that, urging Loki, the Avengers, and I to go to the jet that was parked outside. Well, he didn't tell us that, but Loki read his mind and relayed the message to us. He's pretty helpful like that.
I don't know why, but as were all tumbling over ourselves trying to get out the doors (after making sure the people were safe), a laugh spilled out of me, echoing in the night.
"What are you laughing for?" Loki sounds flabbergasted.
"I don't know." The night is alive, and I can hear police sirens wailing nearby. "It's just the rush, I guess."
Tony races out of the mansion and leads us around the side of the house to the entrance of the courtyard. We hop the large black metal gate and see our saving grace: Tony's jet parked on the grass with Happy in the pilot seat.
"Go, go!" Tony shouts at us. Everyone piles into the jet, and we can hear the police cars driving around the road and Vein shouting obscentities while trying in vain to jump the fence.
"After you, darling," Loki says to me, stepping to the side so I can access the jet's stairs.
"Why, thank you, dear."
Tony looks at us with a questioning expression but thinks nothing of it as he follows Loki into the aircraft and promptly shuts the door.
We're in the air before I can get my seatbelt on.
***
After changing into some spare comfortable clothes I packed, I am just about to put my earbuds in when Loki pokes my shoulder.
"What?" I ask.
"Follow me," he whispers. "I need to talk to you."
Wordlessly I get up from my seat and follow Loki to the back of the cabin of the plane, where the bathroom is. All the Avengers are either sleeping or too engrossed in conversation to notice us. Loki holds the door open for me like a gentleman. Thankfully, the bathroom, being part of Stark's luxury jet, is large enough for the both of us to fit with a little extra space left.
"What do you want to talk about?"
He sighs and I am patient with him, knowing it must be important for him to want to talk to me alone.
"You didn't have to do that, y/n," Loki says gently.
"Do what?"
"Speak up for me like that in front of everyone. I can take care of myself, you know."
"It was warranted," I reply nonchalantly. "I see the way they look at you, the way they talk to you. It was high time someone said it, to be honest."
Loki says nothing, but I can feel the tension in his presence.
"Well, don't do it again," he says.
I whip my head toward him. "What?"
"I said, 'don't do it again.' You made me look weak, and I can't afford that when I'm already the laughingstock of the Avengers."
"Loki, you do realize what I did for you was... a nice thing, right?" My temper starts to rise. "I spoke up for you when no one else was going to. I can't believe you just want to sit there and take shit from them. Where's your bravery?"
His brows furrow and I can tell he's getting mad too. "Are you calling me a coward?"
I cross my arms. "It certainly sounds appropriate."
"I am not a coward," he seethes. I can feel the indignation radiating off of him like heat. "I have to walk on eggshells around these wretched Avengers because all I am to them is a joke. If I slip up even once, it's the cage and the muzzle for me!" He's breathing heavily now. "I will never be their equal, and frankly, I'm sick of trying to be! Their opinion doesn't matter anymore. They are nothing."
I'm tapping my foot anxiously. "So, what, am I one of them, too? Am I nothing too, after everything we've been through together?"
"What have we been through?" he spits. "We're partners and nothing more, and I wouldn't be surprised if you turned to their side after all this is over."
"Are you even hearing yourself, Loki? I literally stuck up for you when you were too scared; I put our differences past us and worked together with you to accomplish our mission, and we won. Not to mention putting up with all your lovey-dovey bullshit in front of everyone at the party. Do you know how much I went through for you? And you're seriously going to think that I'm just going to turn my back on you?"
"Like I said, I wouldn't be surprised." And he sounds hurt, though I don't know why. I am too angry with him to think straight and all I want to do is hurry up and get home and be alone. Alone and away from Loki.
"I can't believe you."
He scowls at me.
"Oh, real mature, Loki. Real mature."
"Be quiet," he orders, voice rock solid. I shiver.
"Yeah?" I storm up to him, not caring that we're 42,000 feet in the air right now. "Why don't you make me?"
"Oh, don't tempt me, darling." He's got this wicked, dark look in his eyes that makes me both want to run away and draw closer to him.
"I am not your darling."
"Oh? What are you going to do about it, love?"
I groan and grip my hair in frustration. "Stop that! Stop calling me cute pet names! I'm mad at you, Loki."
He laughs, which ticks me off some more. I push him against the wall and get right in his face.
He quirks an eyebrow at my action. "Aren't you a feisty little thing, pushing me against walls and whatnot? If I didn't know any better, I might get the wrong idea about you."
I suddenly realize how close we are and heat rises to my face. "Do you ever shut up?"
"Make me shut up," he says, and it actually sounds like he's begging. "Do it, I dare you."
"What is it that you want from me, Loki?" I groan in exasperation. "I act rude to you, and it makes you mad. I stand up for you and it makes you mad. I play along with your little games, I follow your plan, I fight for you and all you do is--"
I never did get to finish my sentence, for Loki had leaned over and planted his lips on mine abruptly, cutting off my words and making my breath catch in my throat. Immediately, I push him away from me with agitation.
"Loki, what the hell?"
"Shut you up, didn't it?"
I exhale and I examine his face. The slope of his nose, the curve of his lips, the shape of his jaw, his pale, snowy skin. I examine him and my lips tingle from the kiss which wasn't at all gentle and you know what? Fuck it, fuck it all.
I pin him against the wall and I pull his face to mine and I kiss him roughly, molding my lips to his and holy fuck, holy fuck I'm kissing Loki but my brain has yet to catch up with my actions so I keep kissing him and let his hands wander wherever they want to, which ends up being my hips. His fingers touch the bare skin of my waist where my shirt rode up and it sparks this lightning-like electricity through my body. I press myself against him and I kiss him with anger and resentment and passion because god, I hate him but he's too cocky to get away with kissing me first.
"I..." Breathing heavily, I say between heated kisses, "I hate you, Loki. I hate you so goddamn much." And then I stick my tongue down his throat and taste him, and I hate to admit it but he tastes better than I could ever have imagined. If I kissed another person after this, I would only be able to taste Loki.
"The feeling is mutual." His voice is husky and it sends a shiver down my spine. Loki places a hand on my ass and squeezes and I don't even stop him because I am too preoccupied with fisting my fingers in his beautiful hair and tugging ever so slightly so that he moans against my lips.
I smile into the kiss. "That's what you get."
"Oh yeah?" He grabs hold of my hips and slams me into the wall this time. His arms form a cage around my head and he leans in so that our lips are just a millimeter apart and he grins, looking down at me hungrily, pupils dilated.
I squirm, aching for his warmth back.
He attacks my neck, nipping and kissing my skin all the way up to my jaw, where he takes me by the chin and fits his lips to mine again. He traces my lower lip with his tongue and involuntarily I shudder out a moan at the warmth of his lips. Normally Loki's skin is cool, but never have I felt warmer.
"Got you," he teases. "Now we're even."
I pull away to catch my breath and Loki's face follows mine, begging for more. I push him away with a chuckle. "Let me breathe, Loki."
He sighs. "Fine."
While I catch my breath, I brush my hand across Loki's soft cheek which is dusted with a nice pink blush.
"You're blushing," I say fondly.
"No, I'm not," he says back.
"Hmm."
Something unspoken passes between us. "Can I ask you something?"
"As long as it's within reason," he says diplomatically.
I roll my eyes. "I thought you hated me."
"I believe you're mistaken, y/n. It is you who supposedly hates me. You said so just before you stuck your tongue down my throat."
I winced. "Sorry."
"Please don't apologize," he soothes, brushing a stray hair behind my ear. "It was quite lovely."
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"Tell you what, darling?"
"That you ... that you liked me. In that way. I mean, how long have you felt like this?"
He looked down and let his hand fall from my face. "I'm ... not very good with emotions, y/n. Admittedly, I tend to shove everything down until one day I just--"
"Explode."
He nods ashamedly.
I sigh. "I know what that's like. I do the same thing, and I have trouble controlling my temper sometimes. Sorry that I'm so defensive all the time."
"You don't need to apologize. I don't mind it."
I furrow my brows. "Really?"
He smiles to himself and meets my gaze. "I never wanted to say anything, but when you get angry, it kind of ..."
"What?"
Loki chuckles softly. "It kind of turns me on."
I try to hide my embarrassment by swatting his shoulder playfully. No partner I've ever had has said that to me before, and quite frankly it makes me feel a little better. Like my anger doesn't make me a total monster.
"And in regards to your other question, about how long I've felt this way..."
"Yeah?"
He rubs his neck. "I have observed you, y/n. Ever since you joined the team, I knew there was something different about you, something that set you apart from the other heroes." He rolls his eyes at the word. "You're reckless and have an uncontrollable temper and you don't hide it. That's the thing. The Avengers try to cover up their flaws to give the illusion that they don't have any at all. But not you.
"I was always fascinated by you because of that, and certainly still am. But I realized I had feelings for you during the battle."
"The battle..." My memory of the battle that put me in the hospital is fuzzy, but I try to remember the details of it. Loki was allowed to tag along and help the Avengers defeat the robot army that Vein sent to the compound to steal Stark's tech. I remember fighting for a while, covering my fellow avengers, and seeing Loki out of the corner of my eye vaporizing robots like nobody's business. I got hurt, then, and the rest is blurry from there.
All I can remember is that glowing, golden sun coming straight toward me and the feeling of being wrapped in warm, safe arms.
The glowing, golden sun...
And suddenly it all clicked.
"That was you," I gasp. He was wearing his golden horned helmet that day. It's reflection in the sun made my delusional self think he was the sun itself.
He nods, a smile creeping up his face. "I was the one who rescued you." He puts his finger under my chin, lifting my head up to meet his eyes which are melancholic. "You were in a horrible state, y/n. It made me so worried, seeing you like that, seeing you pass out in my arms. When you were hooked up to all those machines in that hospital room, I remember being afraid that you wouldn't make it."
"Why did me nearly dying make you realize your feelings for me.?
"Because I realized I would miss you," he says, and his ears turn pink.
Mind mind traces back to the warm arms that wrapped around me, the low voice in my ear telling me everything was going to be alright. That was Loki.
"Why didn't you tell me that was you!"
He points to himself. "Not good with emotions, remember?"
I nod and there's a little bit of silence that ensues.
I tense, feeling the need to say something but not sure how to say it.
"What is it, my love? What has you troubled?"
"I ..." Remembering the arguments we had, seeing him for the first time in a suit, tying his tie for him. And of course, our brief makeout session in this bathroom on Tony's Stark's jet.
Life sure is unpredictable.
"I really like you, Loki. And I don't want this ... whatever this is, to be a one-time thing."
He breaks out in a gentle, loving smile. "Me too."
He leans in to kiss my lips again, when there comes an obnoxious banging on the door of the bathroom, followed by a shout: "Hey, how long are you going to be in there? I gotta pee something fierce."
It's Tony. Of course.
Loki and I look at each other, fear momentarily casting a shadow on his eyes.
"Are you ready to make this public?" I ask.
"I suppose there is no other option." He takes my hand and with the other, pushes the door open.
Tony is surprised and disgusted, and his mouth is hanging open. He closes it when we push past him and go to our seats.
"I knew you two were hooking up!" Tony seems proud of himself for having stumbled upon this great revelation. All the Avengers look toward us as we walk away from the tiny bathroom.
Nat gasps, Clint applauds sarcastically, and Bucky just stares. I smile at him and grip Loki's hand. When I take my seat next to Loki, he looks at everyone staring at us and whispers to me, "Come up." He pats his thigh.
"Seriously?"
"Why not, love?"
And so I do. I climb onto Loki's lap and I wrap my arms around his neck and lean my head against his chest. His arms snake around my body as he leans his head against mine.
It isn't long before Loki's calm, steady breaths lull me to sleep.
***
A/N: WHAT DID YOU THINK ????