A/N: Hahaha Angry Sekido go brrrbbrbrr
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Agreeing to go on this mission was a fucking mistake.
"(Y/n), we don't have time for this!" Sanemi puts a scalpel in your hands, "Man the fuck up and help him!"
"No! No! No! I ca-I can't!!" You cry pathetically; Sanemi's hand was the only thing keeping your hold around the medical instrument, "I-I can't! I-I'm sc-sca-scared!!!"
"Takati is going to die if you do nothing!" Sanemi stresses, "Do you want that-"
"-Leave her the fuck alone, Shinazugawa!!" Sekido snaps, continuing chest compressions on Inosuke, "Your constant bitching is not fucking helping!"
With your free (and shaky) hand, you reach forward towards Hariko's neck. You press your fingers against the side in search for a pulse.
How did it end up like this?
You had a joint mission with Inosuke and Hariko. [Remember Hariko? The Demon Slayer you met on your mission with Iguro?]
The demon- you don't even remember how the demon fucking looks like- was after you, sent by Muzan. No surprise there. Unfortunately for you all, the demon was really strong.
Why did it seem like everywhere you went, death followed?
Hariko has internal bleeding from the chest, that much you're sure. His chest was completely bruised, and the blood was pooling from inside.
If you don't start treating him now, he'll be dead in a matter of minutes.
But you're too scared to cut into him.
And Inosuke.
You're not sure what happened; you were too focused on Hariko, you didn't notice that he's suddenly got quiet. Sekido was the one who noticed him, and you're kicking yourself mentally for it.
Maybe if you noticed sooner, Sekido wouldn't be desperately trying to resuscitate him right now.
It's thanks to Sanemi that the demon is dead.
"Well, she has to do something! She's the only one who can help!!" Sanemi replies to Sekido.
You shake your head in denial, "I can't! I can't! I can't do it!"
"Why not?! What are you so afraid of that you can't even help him??" Sanemi presses, "Why can't you just do your fucking job and help him?!"
"Because I'm what's wrong! And there's nothing I can do about it!" You sob, dropping the scalpel to the ground, "If I'm not hurting myself, I'm hurting and killing everyone around me! And there's nothing I can do to stop it!"
You're the reason why Akira died.
You're the reason why Gerik died.
You're the reason why Aimi died.
You're the reason why Akaza died.
You're the reason why your mother died.
You've carried all these deaths with you; now, you're going to be the reason why Hakiro and possibly Inosuke will die.
And you don't think you'll be able to handle it.
"(Y/n)," Sanemi calls out to you, "I know you're afraid, and being brave is not easy. But you need to be brave a few more times, okay? Takati needs you; Hashibira needs you."
"I know you're scared (Y/n)," Sekido tries to encourage, "You're the only one who can help them right now. I know it's a lot of pressure, but that's what it means to be a Demon Slayer, right?"
...
Right.
You have to do something. Sekido is not in the right headspace right now; fighting that demon brought out the worst in him.
He was acting more aggressive on Inosuke than necessary. If he keeps up chest compressions, Sekido might break more than just a few of Inosuke's ribs.
"S... Sanemi," You stutter, trying to regain your composure, "I need... I need you t-to hold Hariko down. He's-He's going to thrash when... when I cu-cut him."
Sanemi nods quickly, moving to sit where Hariko's head was and holding him down by the shoulders.
You didn't have gloves; you make a mental note to actually get some fucking gloves later when- if you can. You lean your ear down by Hariko's mouth.
"It's a Cardiac Tamponade," You inform uselessly: as if anyone would understand what the fuck that was, "I-I think his per-pericardium is about to burst. I-I have to drain it and relieve-relieve the pressure, or his-his heart will stop."
"That sounds-" Bad, Sanemi wanted to say, but you don't need that commentary, "-Well, do it then!"
You rummage through your backpack in search of the proper tools. Of course, you don't have an 18-Gauge Spinal Needle on you; why would you? You weren't planning on draining someone's pericardium sac today.
You pull out a spray bottle with rubbing alcohol inside. You twist off the cap and bite the inside of your cheek at the size of the tube. You'll have to use this. You should sanitize it, but with what? It's dipped in rubbing alcohol anyway, and you're praying to all the Gods that it'll be fine.
"Okay, when I tell you to get the bag, you're going to help stab this-" You point to one end of the tube, "-into the side. We don't have time to do this properly. When the blood comes out, we need to put it here."
The Hashira nods in understanding, grabbing the bag from you.
Is the tube even long enough? Whatever, I'm going in, um, subxiphoid. Okay, scalpel.
You don't have time to clean the scalpel; you pick it up from the ground and wipe it on your skirt.
"Pour some alcohol on his chest," You order Sanemi.
The Wind Pillar reaches forward to grab the bottle from your side. You watch him pour it over Hariko's chest, telling him to stop when you deemed it was enough.
"Okay, hold him down."
You wait for Sanemi to do just that before cutting into Hariko. The brunette groans in pain, weakly thrashing around to escape the pain. Luckily for him, you only need to cut a big enough slit to insert the tube.
You hear Inosuke- it had to be Inosuke- take a deep breath and cough aggressively.
"Give me the tube, Sanemi," You talk over Inosuke and Hariko.
You position the tube against the slit, aiming for the left shoulder, and hoping that you won't puncture his heart.
You gently thrust the tube inside, wincing at the sounds it made. Sanemi had to look away, and Hariko started to groan in protest.
It needs to go deeper, and if you weren't so fucking tense, you would've verbally made a joke about it. You push the tube in, both you and Sanemi jumping in surprise when blood gushes out the other end.
You jerk head towards a "Get the bag. Get the bag. Get the bag."
Sanemi does as he's told, helping you stab the tube into the bag. It immediately fills up with blood.
You sigh in relief, before you start to cry again.
You just performed a fucking Pericardiocentesis.
And Hariko is breathing- he's still breathing.
"H... Hold the ba-bag," You cried, "I ha-I have to... to check on Ino-Inosuke."
"You did a great job," Sanemi takes the bag from you, "You were braver than all of us right now."
You nod absentmindedly, scrambling up to your feet and rushing to the boar kid's side.
"How is... Sekido?"
Inosuke was breathing normally again, though he seems to be unconscious at the moment. Sekido was on his knees, his fingers digging into his legs.
"Sekido...?" You take a nervous step forward.
Sekido turns his head to look at you over his shoulder. The white of his eyes were blood red, and the glowing stars and constellations on his body were pitch black, rather than the glowing white you're used to seeing.
Sekido just radiated wrath, and you got a fleeting thought that he might kill you.
Your fear must've shown, because his expression immediately softens. His eyes return back to normal, and the constellations disappear from his appearance.
"(Y/n)..." Sekido frowns and looks away, "I'm sorry... Um...Inosuke is okay. I-I think he just had the-the um, the air knocked out of him. Literally."
You sigh in relief and drop to your knees in exhaustion. Violent sobs force its way out of your lips, body shaking now that the adrenaline had left you.
You shake your head in disbelief.
You want to go home.
You can't seem to catch a break recently; it's just one trauma after another. It's literally only been about three weeks since you've returned from your home.
But that's war; you keep telling yourself, not everyone makes it back alive.
Ah, but you think you've reached your limit. Not sure if you can keep doing this.
To be a Demon Slayer is to stare death in the face and still risk it all to save people. To know you won't be rewarded for the good deeds you do and still push forward.
To know if you try and save them, you'll die, but still try anyway. To tell the helpless that everything will be okay and finding a way to make your words come true.
To be a Demon Slayer is to live without regrets.
You're still just a kid...
You should be living your fucking life instead of constantly cheating death and witnessing everyone you care about drop like flies.
You just want to go home.
"(Y/n)..."
You look up to see Sanemi through teary eyes. You're about to scream at him, about to shout. Why isn't he watching Hariko?!
"I'm sorry," Sanemi looks in Hariko's direction, "He's gone."
You hurry to your feet and rush to the brunette's side. There's no way. You just treated him; did you fuck up?! Did you kill him too?!?!
You press shaky fingers against his neck, desperately searching for a pulse that wasn't there. You shake your head and lower yourself to sob into Hariko's still and bloody chest.
You need to go home.
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A/N: Would any of you be interested in a crossover fan-fiction of this story and... Obey Me? Just asking for... scientific reasons...