((TW: Suicide Attemp, Self harm, Mentions of ED))
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It must be around 9pm. It's dark out, the moon barely trying to shine through the clouds of early fall. All that is heard on the silent, flat, roads, is the hum of the car's engine. Outside, the tree's leaves are all sorts of colors, ranging from bright reds to ugly, dead browns. Then there's me. In the car, driving to end all my troubles.
I drive for what feels like an eternity, as if the universe trying to get me to rethink my already set decision. It's my fault and only my fault. I stated this in my letters. My letters to my best friends. My letter to my mom and dad. It explains why I'm doing this. My parents ignoring the signs. My friends too happy with their own lives to care.
I'm doing this to end all my troubles.
I kept repeating this in my head, over and over again. Not letting anything change my mind. The car's engine revved as I slowed it down, arriving to where I'll soon be happy.
I pull over to the side of the road, leaving all my belongings behind. I already gave everyone their designated letters, only for them to find me here in the morning. I get out of the car and slowly make my way over to the bridge that laid ahead.
"It's time." I sigh to myself with a sorry smile on my face. At first, I just lean over the railing of the bridge, enjoying the warm wind that waved my hair back and forth as I took in the surroundings.
After a few minutes of just looking out in the distance, I'm ready. I lean off the railing and look down, it's the perfect height and it will be quick, easy, and simple. I slowly raise myself onto the railing, I feel some hesitation but hastily push it away as this is what I want. I then stand, balancing perfectly. All I need to do is fall now, I'm ready to just leave it all behind, everyone will be happier this way.
I inhale the warm, yet crisp air, smelling the sweet smell of oak from the surrounding trees. I close my eyes, I feel so relaxed, "It's all going to be okay." I reassure myself before exhaling and letting myself fa--
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George wakes up in a cold sweat. I-I was so close. It could have just been over then. He thinks angerly. He tucks himself back into bed, just wanting the same dream to envelope him and take him away. Away from his lonesome, boring, tiring, life. His parents wouldn't care, they were too busy with work to even notice anything. His friends wouldn't care, they would just continue on with their own happy lives. Or at least he thinks they will.
The brunette slowly gets up, lazily throwing his covers and sheets off his cold, sweaty body. He skims over his messily organized drawers, looking for something that would cover every little imperfection he had. These imperfections ranged from his scrawny body to his wrists which had old and new scars laid upon them.
George found what he wanted to wear, that being a slightly oversized, tan and orange crewneck sweater and some light wash jeans. He didn't want to go into the bathroom, but he had to look somewhat presentable for school. He already got bullied enough, he didn't need any more temptation from those terrible, terrible people.
As he entered the nicely, white, decorated restroom, he only turned to the mirror and sighed, annoyed. George couldn't help but feel unhappy with himself no matter what he did. At first, he thought he was just a fat, unhealthy boy but now he was too scrawny, unable to do anything about it. So, he just kept on doing what he knew, he just flat out wouldn't eat anything. He honestly was too tired to try to get a healthy body, so he would just continue to lose weight.
He tidied his hair, combing it with a brush until it got that perfect wave he liked. Then, he moved on to washing his face and brushing his teeth, which clearly didn't take very long. When he was done in the bathroom, he checked his phone to see that it was 7:34am and no notifications, as always. George still had about ten minutes before he had to leave on the bus to school, so he just sat on his phone, checking the toxic world known as social media.
The ten minutes pass quickly and George, just as quickly, exits his home and starts walking to the bus stop. The walk is peaceful, nothing much happens so George plugs his earbuds into his phone and turns on some music. The music only adds onto the already depressing day as it's cloudy, the leaves on the trees being brown and crisp.
The brunette finds the bus stop and carefully sits down on the bench, still listening to his sad songs. The wind is cold today, creating goosebumps on his covered arms. He shivers but doesn't mind this little bit of discomfort.
As the bus pulls up, all you hear is the loud screeching of breaks and the squeak of the doors swinging open. Luckily, he's the only one on this stop, so no one is trying to push through him in order to get on first. George is able to find an empty spot, putting his backpack nearest to the aisle to tell others he doesn't want anyone to sit by him. The bus jerks and sputters before driving and making its other stops before the school.
While arriving to school, George walks straight to his locker, ignoring anyone who acknowledged him or tried saying hello. He didn't want to risk making more friends, the one's he had clearly didn't care enough about him to even stop and say hello. You know, sometimes that all it takes. One simple hello. George thought to himself, sighing before slamming his locker shut harshly. He winces at the loud noise before leaning on his locker to wait for the first bell.
George finds himself dozing off partially, his eyes closed and his breathing soft and shallow. Well, that is until someone comes up and abruptly taps him on the shoulder. George jumps awake, his flight or fight senses activated. When he looks around to see who touched him, he finds the one person who does try to say hello to him each and every day.
Clay.
George lets out a relieved sigh and relaxes back into his locker. The perfect, blonde, athletic, boy stands for a second before speaking, "Hello George! How are you today?" Clay always wore a smile but today it just seemed brighter, almost like it could blind someone. Especially George.
"Fine, I guess." George mumbles tiredly, he leans back onto the lockers behind him. Clay gives him a funny look but it's so quick and so well-hidden George doesn't notice. He doesn't notice how concerned his friend was or how much his friend cared about him. So, George just continues, not liking the silence, "How about you, how are you?" He asks a little livelier.
"Oh, I am doing great! Thanks for asking." Clay says, his smile back on his face as he answered.
And with that the first bell rings, Clay waves goodbye to George but he somehow must block out the simple gesture as he keeps walking to his class, away from Clay.
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Clay let out a heavy sigh. He hated, no, dreaded seeing George like this. He remembers when they were young, when they would play non-stop until the sun went down. He misses those days when him and George were so close, talking every day. George distanced himself ever since he started getting bullied. It was absolutely terrible for Clay, he just had to sit and watch his friend get bullied, threatened, and even told to kill himself. Soon there would be a breaking point, though.
The bell rings again and Clay is still not at class, instead he's sat at the lockers still, thinking about his friend. Please come back soon, is all he can think before booking it to class as fast as he can.
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The first couple of periods pass relatively fast, both boys just going through each one of their classes. Now it was lunch, and everyone had to barge through the loud bustling crowd to make it into the lunchroom in time. As for George, he tended to wait in his class for the crowds to clear out. He didn't need to eat anyway. During lunch he would spend his time outside, even if it was a rainy day like today, and read. Reading was his thing. He could imagine himself as the main character in the book and pretend for two seconds that his life was fine.
So, once the crowds of loud students did clear out, George made his way outside and to his favorite spot. This spot was a bench that sat underneath a giant oak tree which had been their pretty much since the school was built. George wished he was as strong as that tree, with its sturdy trunk and branches that could and would withstand any large gusts of wind.
He arrived at the bench, resting his backpack in between his legs on the ground, pulling out his book as well. His book today, was one about a boy who was very optimistic about everything until the real world hit him in the face. George found himself reading just the beginning of the book for the happy thoughts and joyousness that the character had, always stopping and restarting when he hit the more depressing spot. If only that's how real life worked, he silently chuckled at his thought.
The brunette ignored his surroundings as he read, even ignoring the fact that the rain had started up again and he was now becoming quite soaked with water. But he persisted reading, enjoying whatever joy that it gave him.
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Clay came walking out of the building, noticing George sat in his usual spot, enjoying whatever book he had now. As he got lost in the boy's concentrated gaze, amazing, good looks with his now wet and messy hair and cute freckles which layered on his cheeks, he was shaken away by a group of tall boys walking towards the beautiful boy.
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George's heart nearly gave when he saw a hand tip his book down and away from his very concentrated reading. He hastily looked up to see a group of boys which surrounded him, the one who had his hand laid on the book looked to have red-orange hair and he was dangerously taller than George.
The shy brunette looked at the red head then pulled his book away from the boy, turning away as if trying to tell the group to just leave him alone. This clearly didn't work as the tall red head stepped closer, resting one of his hands on George's arm. George flinched, not liking this uncomfortable touch. "What do you want." He mumbled but the boy was close enough to hear.
"Hey Scars." the boy spoke, slowly pulling up George's sleeve.
"H-How, why-why do you-" George stuttered his breath picking up.
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1902 Words
Well, that's a chapter. Quite the emotional one if you ask me and it's gonna be like that for next 3 ish chapters. Sorry...
Anyway! I'm really happy how this chapter ended up being, posting the second in a bit, so I hope you enjoy that one as well!
Have a good night or day!! <3