Sorry, forgot to put the time stamp. It is during Endgame's final battle, so everyone's meet. But Vision and Natasha are alive!
***
The scene starts with the actors/actresses stating their names.
"Hey, it's Jeremy Renner"
"You wear glasses?" Tony asks, genuinely curious.
"No, I wouldn't really be good at aiming if I needed glasses, would I?" Clint answers, in a duh tone.
"Hey, what's up? I'm Don Cheadle"
"Hello I'm Scarlet."
"Oooh, I love the blonde look." Carol compliments.
Shuri nods her head, "Yes, far nicer than the hairstyle you had while on the run."
Natasha shares a small smile with the two. It's nice to have some girls to talk to.
"Danai Guirira."
"Chris Hemsworth."
"An Australian accent." Rhodey nods. "It suits you."
"And this is Wired's 50 most asked questions."
"About the Avengers, let's go." Don finishes for Scarlet.
"About us?" Bruce asks.
"Well, we are earth's mightiest heroes!" Tony exclaims.
"You ready. Me too." Jeremy dramatically looks into camera.
"What is the purple Infinity stone?"
"I thing it's an Amethyst?" Scarlet guesses.
Everyone turns to Natasha.
She shrugs, "What, so my counterpart likes crystals? I am still a female."
Don throws away the card, "Not the yellow one."
Everyone turns their heads now to Rhodey.
"And my counterpart is a smartass, so what?" Rhodey replies, earning some chuckles.
"What language do they speak in Black Panther?" Chris askes the second question. "Over to you." He looks at Danai.
"Over to you, come on, you know it now." She prompts Chris.
"It's pronounced..." Chris make a series of sounds.
"You are actually very close." T'Challa compliments, which causes Shuri to snort.
"Xhosa." Danai corrects, clicking her tongue.
Chris tries again but fails, "I'm spitting everywhere, I'm sorry."
"You got an A for effort, man. That was good."
"Who directed Infinity War?" Scarlett asks, reading off a card.
"They called it Infinity War? They should've called it, 'Go For The Head'." Rocket snarls.
Thor gets up, "And you could've done it so much better, rabbit." He spits the last word out like venom.
Rocket stands up on his chair so, he's nearly eye level with Thor, "In fact, I could of."
"All right, you two chill down." Tony gets up and get Thor to sit back down, "If it's anyone's fault it's Star Glimmer over there."
Quill looks a bit hurt by the comment but tries to hid it with a shout.
"Tony." Steve gives off a warning.
"Sorry, Rogers but you aren't Captain anymore."
"Can everyone just sit back down. Before we begin another Civil War." T'Challa claps his hands, speaking in a leadership tone.
Surprisingly everyone listens.
"A couple of guys named the Russos, Joe and Anthony. Cute kids get to know them." Don answers.
Danai picks up a card, "Who can pick up Thor's hammer?" She looks at Chris, "Captain Marvel."
"Wait, what?" Both Carol and Thor say at the same time.
"I wanna see this. Pointbreak, hand over your hammer."
Thor hugs his hammer to his chest sending glares at Tony and Carol, which causes everyone to burst into laughter.
Chris looks offended, "Don't you dare. Argh, nobody!"
"It's almost like they're the same person." Clint stages whispers to Nat.
Scarlet reads off another card, "Can Captain Marvel beat Thanos?"
Don laughs.
"That's the question we all want to know the answer to."
"Yea, sure. Why not? We'll say yea." Jeremy flings the card.
"C'mon, Cap Lady. Do your thing." Rocket demands.
"I don't even know if my thing can defeat Thanos!" Carol informs.
"She could."
"Is Thanos stronger than Hulk?" Chirs questions. "Maybe, I don't know. Is he?"
"Well, he's got that disco glove."
"Why was the Red Skull in Infinity War?" Scarlet reads, "I think it was like a contractual obligation."
"Red Skull's alive?! Since when?!" Steve bursts.
"Oh, right. He was on Vormir." Clint says, as if he'd forgotten.
Steve just stares blankly at him.
"What is Thor the god of?" Danai asks.
"Hammers?" Chris answers, "Lightening? Thunder?"
"Oh, wow. Your counterpart doesn't even know what you're the god of!" Drax brakes out into laughter, scaring half the room.
"Jesus, I didn't even know you were there!" Scott exclaims, hand over his heart.
"He does that. You get used to it." Nebula informs, voice monotone.
"Thunder." Danai corrects.
Chris continues guessing, "Is lightening or is thunder? I think it's actually thunder - or IKEA assembling of furniture."
"And look he also has a sense of humor!" Tony adds, grinning cheekily.
Natasha, of course, whacks him.
"Is Thanos a god?"
"No, but Josh Brolin is." Scarlet answers easily.
"Have you seen this area." Don gestures to his chin, "Gods don't look like that."
A few chuckle because of it being so true.
"Platypus, why aren't you this comical all the time." Tony whines.
"Because, I have to look after you."
"Burn!" Peter and Shuri exclaim at the same time.
"Jinx!" They say again, which results in laughter from the two.
T'Challa and Tony share a worried glance.
Jeremy asks, " Who's stronger than Thanos?"
"Thor." Jeremy and Chris say together. They fist bump.
"C'mon, Thor!" Clint leans over to offer his fist to Thor.
Thor returns it.
"What does Avenge mean?"
"I thought is said what does average mean." Scarlet laughs. "My answer would to make right by?"
"What happened to Thor's eye?"
"It got stabbed out by his sister." Chris chucks his card.
"When did that happen?" Bruce speaks, trying to get closer to Thor's eye.
"Eye, my sister stabbed it out. Rabbit gave me his fake robot eye, that he'd stolen."
Rocket turns away from where he'd been staring at Bucky's arm and salutes.
"Is black Panther Marvel?"
Don laughs, "Is this even a sentence?!"
"Would the other one be, 'is Black Panther DC?'. Would that be like the alternate question?" Scarlet wonders.
"I am Groot."
"Yeah, I don't know what DC and Marvel is either." Gamora answers.
"How strong is Captain America?" Danai asks. "Stronger than Thor." Which causes Chris to shout.
"Oh my god!"
"Can a lightsaber cut through Captain America's sword?" Scarlet looks at the camera. "That question is entirely too geeky for me to answer."
"I feel like that is what you would say."
Natasha nods, agreeing.
"Why are we trying to do like a Star Wars vs Avengers thing? There's room in the universe for everybody to exist. Enjoy your Star Wars thing and then enjoy your Avengers thing. We don't care." Don finally completes his rant.
"How old is Thor? 173!" Jeremy answers quickly. "Yeah, come on guys. Figure is out."
"How old are you, Mr. Thor sir?" Peter asks.
"I am 1,500!"
"What is an Iron Man? What is an Iron Man?! It's a man made out of Iron."
"How dare they not know of my brilliance." Tony complains.
"I don't know if you know this, Tony." Rhodey puts his hand on his companion's shoulder, "But not everything is about you." He says it slowly as if talking to a baby.
Tony pokes out his tongue.
"I don't think that we uh have to exclude woman from this, there can be Iron Woman. If you want to be made out of iron and you're a woman." Don shrugs and picks up the next card.
"Why does Thanos want to destroy half the universe? Again this area." Don gestures to the chin again.
"I think you're a bit too fascinated by Thanos' chin, man." Quill raises an eyebrow.
"He's angry." Jeremy states.
"Traffic?" Chris guesses.
"If you look like that you'd have a chip on your shoulder and ball sack on your neck." Don continues.
"There are children here, Honeybear!" Tony covers Peter's ears.
"Mr. Stark, I've heard ball-" Peter tries.
"No, you haven't!" Tony interjects.
"How did Captain Marvel get her powers?"
"Crack." Don answers way too quickly.
Tony falls off his chair, laughing. Clint soon follows him, holding his stomach.
"How old is Black Panther." Danai asks
"173, as well." Jeremy states again
"Brother, I must say, you don't look over 35." Shuri laughs.
"How strong is the Hulk? So strong." Scarlet coos.
"There is a Bio element to make hulk more aromatic than a regular person." Don tries to make his answer science worthy. He fails.
"What does each infinity stone do?"
"Different things." Don answers easily.
"I'm starting to enjoy your one liners, Colonel Rhodes." Vision compliments, understanding the sarcastic remarks.
"Same here." Clint says, laughing.
"There's like a purplish one and a red one and a yellow one and a green one and I think there's a blue one." Scarlet simplifies.
"A whole lot of party tricks." Jeremy answers.
"How many Infinity Stones?"
"Six." Danai asks, unsure.
"On each knuckle? And an extra one?" Chris wonders
"How tall is the Hulk? So tall." Scarlet coos again.
"7.4 plus about a foot give or take." Don tries.
"What are the Infinity Stones?"
"Christmas decorations." Chris answers, seriously.
"I don't think I'd want them hanging on my Christmas tree." Wanda winces.
"Which Avenger are you? How dare you?" Don says, offended.
Jeremy stares at the camera, unimpressed. "I mean really?"
Now it's Nat's turn to laugh, "You're so offended."
"What is the name of Thor's hammer? Mjolnir." Chris answers, easily.
"Really?" Danai questions
"Tough one to say." Jeremy says.
***
Let me know in the comments if you want me to do a second part.
Love you guys, 3000!