A loud groan erupted from my lungs as I tossed angrily in my bed, my covers hanging haphazardly around my sweaty body. I flailed my feet, kicking them back and forth in frustration. I was so incredibly sick of this whole not being able to sleep without him thing.
For some reason his mother had allowed him to stay with me over Thanksgiving break- which just reinforced this whole 'he's gotta be sleeping next to me bullshit'. I hated not being able to sleep for more than a solid hour at a time, simply because there were no arms wrapped around me and there was no added heat from an extra body. I especially hated it because not being able to sleep without him meant this attachment was truly getting out of hand.
This was the fourth day in row, since Liz had made him go home, that I found myself tossing and turning relentlessly in the same bed that I used to be able to sleep for 12 hours straight. I had even swallowed my pride and asked my mom if I could use her body pillow- to which she had made countless jokes- but even that didn't work. I was seriously debating spraying the fabric with his cologne so I could trick myself into sleep. Though I knew it wouldn't work- a pillow couldn't wrap itself around me or squeeze me tighter to make sure there was no space between us. A pillow had no heartbeat that I could listen to intently, and certainly couldn't press feather light kisses into my skin.
I had been a zombie all week- and people had definitely noticed. My coach had asked me question after question all week- even today, as I walked into homeroom. I had tried to hide the circles under my eyes, but it didn't matter how much concealer I used, the bags under my eyes were there to stay.
I was slow and lethargic as I went through the motions- making it to all my classes even though I did little to even attempt paying attention. My mind had suddenly become riddled with thoughts of how this was all going to go over in two weeks time. That was all we had until we got a week and a half of for winter break. And even though we only got a week and a half off, Luke would be gone for two weeks total. And not only would he be gone for two weeks, but he would be on the opposite side of the world.
I was starting to understand why he had tried to push me away only a week ago.
I absolutely hated that I could understand where he was coming from- but only because everything he had said made sense. He wasn't staying in the US, and he made that abundantly clear. There wasn't going to be anything to change his mind- even me, and in only a short few months he would be gone. He would be gone- back home with his friends and his brothers... and I would be alone.
I tried to shake the thought from my head, knowing that we couldn't stay away from each other if we tried. It would be better for us to make the time we had together count, even it that meant it would hurt worse later on. We were temporary, and I was just going to have to be okay with that.
I had Luke pulled halfway across the center console of my car as I refused to let him go- trying to focus on the way his lips folded over mine instead of the nagging voice in my head reminding me that this wouldn't last. I gripped his shoulders tightly, biting gently on his bottom lip as he began to pull back.
"Can't you just stay with me?" I whined, dreading yet another night of tossing and turning alone in my bed. The days seemed to go by faster, as though the universe just wanted the night to come back and cause my endless suffering. I was physically exhausted and I just wished Liz would let him stay the night at least once a week. Didn't she know that we had limited time together and I needed all the time with him that I could get.
"I wish, baby girl, I wish." He chuckled, shaking his head as he squeezed my hand tightly. I frowned lightly as he pressed his lips gently against my jaw, pulling back to send me a sheepish grin before slipping out of my car.
I watched as he walked away, waiting for him to walk inside before forcing myself to pull out of his driveway. It was taking everything in me to not throw my car in park and run in after him- begging Liz to let me stay, if only so I could get one good night of sleep. Though I knew she wouldn't allow that, I knew she already thought we spent too much together.
We had fallen into a routine- every day after school we would go back to my house, do homework, and watch TV (among other things), before my mom would get home and we would all have dinner. I knew Liz hated that she didn't get to see her son for dinner very often, though she did her best to not complain in front of me. I wasn't sure what she said to Luke, but he assured me that she did like me, she just missed him.
If only she knew how I felt.
As much as I wanted winter break, I found myself wishing it wouldn't come. I even found myself wishing graduation wouldn't come, either. A part of me wanted to graduate to get away from all this high school drama- to get away from Aaron and Grace and never have to worry about seeing them again, and a part of me just wanted to put it forever- I could deal with Grace and Aaron as long as Luke was here.
I really really didn't want to have to say goodbye. I mean I hated saying goodnight to him, knowing I would see him again within twelve hours, how was I going to handle a forever goodbye?
I didn't pay any attention to what my mother was watching when I strolled into her room, letting out a loud groan before falling face first onto her mattress. I heard her chuckle before I felt her hand on my back, rubbing slow gently circles to try and calm me down. It was then I noticed that the Friends theme song was faintly playing from her TV.
"What's wrong?" She questioned, slight amusement clear in her tone. She knew damn well what was wrong.
"I don't know." I grumbled, turning my head so my cheek was pushing against a pillow and I could see her. She continued to scratch my back lightly over my t-shirt, the action more soothing than I thought it would have been.
"Kaylee."
"Mom." She shook her head at me, reaching out with her free hand to grab a wine glass sitting on her bedside table. I watched her as she took a sip of the red liquid in the glass, swallowing slowly before giving me a pointed look.
"You've been spending a lot of time with that boy." I nodded. "He's here everyday when I get home at 4, and you don't take him home until after 9. Are you still 'just friends'?" I furrowed my eyebrows as she used air quotes around the last phrase. I let out a groan in response, still not knowing exactly how to answer that question. I didn't want to say we were 'just friends' because our relationship had taken a step last week, but we still hadn't actually talked about it. "His mother mentioned something about him leaving after graduation, is that true?" She continued when she realized I wasn't going to answer the previous question.
"Yeah... he's going back home."
"Are you guys going to keep in touch?"
"I hope so." I nodded slowly. That was another thing we hadn't really talked about. While we had many conversations about how he was leaving and our 'relationship'- whatever it was, was temporary, we never talked about what we would do when he left. I hoped we would at least still keep in touch- phone calls, letters, I didn't really care as long as I still heard from him every now and then. Though I knew that would be difficult, the time difference creating just another glaring problem.
"Kay, talk to me."
"I'm fine." I quipped quickly, a little too quickly.
"Don't lie to me." She said, her hand stilling on my back as she met my glare with a glare of her own. And maybe it was because I didn't really have a girl friend to talk to about this, or maybe I was just so tired I was delusional, but I sighed before the words came tumbling out.
"I don't want him to leave... and I know it's still like six months away, but it's going to go by so fast and then he's- he's just going to be gone and I don't know what I'm going to do." She didn't say anything for a moment, my eyes closing as I couldn't keep her stare. The only sound that echoed around us was the slight huff of our breathing, and the hums of the TV in the background- some commercial on about the new iPhone.
"You really like him, don't you? And don't say just as a friend."
"Yeah." I whispered, afraid of admitting it out loud for the first time to someone other than Luke.
"Sweetie." My mom mumbled, resuming the scratching of her nails along my back. "You can't worry about what's going to happen, he's here now. Maybe he'll change his mind and stay with you, or maybe you'll follow him. I understand you're scared of what's going to come, but you shouldn't be."
"But it's going to feel like dad all over again... here one minute and gone the next." I said, tears beginning to sting the backs of my eyes. I felt so alone when I lost my dad... and I could already feel it happening again.
"Kaylee, what happened to your father was an accident... it should have never happened."
"But I don't want to feel like that again... it felt like half my heart was ripped from my chest and... and I'm afraid when Luke leaves he's going to take the other half with him."
"I know, Kay." She said, squeezing my shoulder lightly. "But people come and go everyday... there's not much you can do about it. I wish I would have had more time with your father, but I didn't, and instead of wishing I had more time with him I cherish the time we did have together. Stop worrying about what is going to happen, stop wishing you had more time and just spend your time with him."
I replayed her words in my head as I excused my self to go shower. I knew she had a point- as they say, mother knows best. But I can't help but think about how I shut down after my dad died... and how shattered I had felt. I had spent so much time alone, isolating myself from friends. I was okay with being alone... but then Luke had to waltz right through all of my defenses, somehow disabling them from the inside.
After my shower I had immediately gone to bed, and I wasn't surprised when I rolled over to find that my clock read 2:47. It had been hours since I had fallen into bed, yet I couldn't sleep at all. Shocking. I currently had my leg thrown over my mom's body pillow, even though I knew it wouldn't help.
My mind was racing, thinking about anything ranging from everything my mom had said to Luke. But Luke was always on my mind.
I reached blindly for my phone as it vibrated against the wood of the table beside my bed. I grinned sheepishly as I picked it up, unlocking the screen and ignoring the pain in my eyes from the sudden bright light.
Lukey 2:54
I'm really sorry if this wakes you up, but it's 3 in the morning and all i can do is think of you
Baby Girl 2:55
funny you think i was actually asleep
Lukey 2:55
so you're up?
Baby Girl 2:56
yes?
Lukey 2:57
come let me in
I chuckled to myself as I threw my phone onto my bed, tiptoeing out of my room as fast as I could. I all but sprinted down the hallway, huffing lightly as I finally swung open the front door. I smiled widely as Luke immediately wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling my body into his while simultaneously taking steps forward so he could shut the door with his foot. I held him tightly, my arms locked around his neck as I pushed my lips to the cool skin of his neck.
I hated that he walked all the way over here in the cold, but I couldn't find in myself to yell at him since I was ecstatic that he was here.
I pull away from him only to tug him back to my room, closing the door behind him before wrapping my arms around him again.
"Hi." He whispered, hands gripping my hips tightly.
"Hi." I return, resting my chin on his chest so I could look up at him. "I need sleep... so strip." I said, teasing him lightly as I knew he preferred to sleep in only his boxers. He chuckled at my words, kissing my forehead quickly before letting me go. I crawled back under my covers, laying on my side as I waited for him to slip in next to me.
"I couldn't sleep, either." He admitted as he laid next to me, lazily throwing his arm over my waist. "I-uh... I can't sleep without you." I sucked in a sharp breath at his words, tugging my bottom lip into my mouth as his ocean eyes seared into my own.
Again, I wasn't sure if it was because I was so sleep deprived or if it was the way he was looking at me, but the words just came running out of my mouth.
"You know... I used to be okay with being alone. I was alone for a long time- my mom is always on trips, my dad is... my dad is gone, and even though Grace was my best friend she was never actually there. But I was used to being alone... I was okay with it... and then you fucking walk into my life and in less than a week I had this insane attachment to you... this attachment that just gets stronger whether we're together or not. I don't know how you did it... but you did... and now I hate being alone. I hate laying in bed without you... I hate waking up alone... I hate the deafening silence of being alone...." I trailed off, letting my eyes close so he wouldn't be able to see the emotion swimming through my eyes.
"I wish... I wish I could ask you to stay... I wish I could make you promise that you won't leave me, but I know I can't do that. You're going to leave and I'm going to have to learn how to be alone again. So I... I just want you to promise me one thing... I want you to promise me that you won't forget me." The volume was stolen from my voice as I spoke, the reality of my words hitting both of us like a brick wall. It was the most open I had ever been with him- no teasing, or joking around... just pure, raw honesty.
"Kaylee-"
"Just promise me... please." When I opened my eyes I momentarily lost the ability to breath, all the oxygen sucked out of my lungs as hie eyes watched me carefully. The moonlight filtering in from my window made the dark blue look almost sky blue. I could tell he wanted to say so many things, his lips turned downwards in a frown before he let out a sigh.
"Pinky promise." He finally said, taking his hand from my waist so he could hold out his pinky for me. I smiled sadly at him before linking my own pinky around his, pressing my lips to my thumb as he did the same before pushing our thumbs together. He opened his mouth as if he were going to say something else, but now that he was so close I could feel my body succumbing to much needed sleep.
"Goodnight, Luke." I said before he could say anything, shuffling closer to him and pressing my lips to his chest lightly.
"Goodnight, Kaylee." He returned, holding my body tightly as he tangled his legs with mine. And now, with his scent filling the air around me, and his arms wrapped tightly across my body, the heat from his body heating mine wonderfully, I finally drifted off to sleep.
***
I wake up before Luke, a smile gracing my features as I can still feel his grip on my hip. I opened my eyes slowly, allowing the light to gradually meet my eyes as I focused on his sleeping form in front of me. The smile was immediately wiped off my face as I took in the expression on his.
We was frowning, a deep crease in his forehead as he huffed out harsh breaths through his nose. That was when I also noticed that his grip on my hip was tighter than it needed to be, his breathing only getting more shallow as I looked at him. It was clear that he was not sleeping peacefully, his thoughts plagued by something dark.
I brought my hand up to his cheek, frowning when he flinched at my touch. He let out a low whine, his grip on my body tightening impossibly more. "Luke." I whispered, letting my thumb graze along his cheek. I frowned even more when there was no change in his expression.
"Luke." I tried again, bringing up my other hand to cup his other cheek. His face relaxed only slightly. I sighed heavily, leaning forward to push my lips to his forehead. Relief shot through me when I felt him relax almost instantly, his hand dropping from my hip completely as it raised to brush across his forehead where my lips had just been.
I maneuvered my way out of my bed as swiftly as I could, being as careful as possible as to not wake him now that he seemed like he was at peace. I tip toed out of my room, my eyes furrowing in confusion as I noticed by mom was already gone for work- her bedroom door open, her bed made, and the room empty. My jaw all but dropped when I walked to the kitchen, the clock on the oven reading 12:45.
My alarm never went off. We were late.
I just about slipped as I turned to rush back to my room when I noticed a sticky note taped to the front of my door. I immediately recognized my mother's handwriting, my eyebrows furrowing even more as I took the piece of paper into my hands.
I called Liz, she knows Luke is here and we agreed to let you stay home today, get some sleep
XOXO-mom
I grinned as I read it, not at all surprised that my mother had gotten Liz to agree to let Luke miss another day of school. I was surprised, however, that they had agreed to let us stay home alone... even after everything I had told her last night. Granted I hadn't told her that we had been... physical, I was still shocked all the same.
I made my way back to the kitchen, smiling yet again as I noticed a Dunkin Donuts bag set on the counter. A quick glance into the bag let me know that there was a box of munchkins, as well as the two coffees- still warm- held in a drink carrier hidden behind the bag.
I squealed to myself as I picked up one of the coffees, taking a long sip and humming in appreciation. I just about jumped out of my skin when I turned around to find Luke staring at me, leaning against the wall with a smirk plastered across his lips.
"Do you ever in sleep in pants?" He wondered aloud, one of his hands rising to pinch his bottom lip between his fingers.
"Would you like me to?" I countered, picking up the other coffee before holding it out to him.
"Never." He breathed, smiling widely at me before taking the coffee out of my hand. I turned to grab the bag of donuts, but gasped when his fingers closed around my wrist to tug me back to him. My coffee almost fell from my hand as I looked up at him with wide eyes. "What? No morning kisses?" He feigned offense as he pouted down at me, my lips twitching as resisted the smile threatening to break through.
He shivered as I pulled my hand from his grip to trail it up his bare chest, rising on my toes so I could reach his ear. "Is morning kisses all you want?"
"Hmm." He hummed, his chest rising just a little quicker than it was moments before. I fell back onto my heels, looking at him through my eyelashes.
"Because...." I started, letting my nails scrape along his chest. "I want... donuts." His jaw fell wide open as I spun quickly to grab the bag of munchkins before ducking under him and running into the living room.
I chuckled as I heard him groan from the kitchen, heavy footsteps slowly following after me. I quickly turned on the TV, smiling to myself as another rerun of Friends was on. I plopped down onto the couch, opening the box of tiny donuts as I watched Luke finally appear around the corner, a deep frown on his face.
"That wasn't very nice." He pouted, taking the seat next to me before turning his body to actually face me. "I just wanted a kiss."
"Just a kiss?"
"Just a kiss." He repeated. I giggled lightly as he ducked his head quickly, puckering his lips against mine for barely a second before pulling back and flashing me his brightest smile. "Thank you." He spoke lightheartedly, reaching his hand into the box of donuts before shoving one into his mouth.
"I can't believe your mom is letting you skip another day of school." I said after a moment, refocusing on the TV in front of us. I let my head rest against his shoulder, mindlessly snacking at we sat comfortably.
"I know. But I'll probably hear about it when I get home."
"Tomorrow." I quipped. He had another thing coming for him if he thought I was letting him leave tonight.
"What?"
"You're not going home tonight... I need you to sleep, my friend."
"Fair enough." He chuckled, popping the last of the donut holes into his mouth.
We sat on the couch the entirety of the day. Once the Friends rerun had ended we took turns choosing movies to watch. He picked Pitch Perfect first, before I made him watch How to Lose A Guy in 10 Days. Throughout the movies I had ended up on top of him, all of my weight resting on him even though he claimed he didn't mind. He had his arms wrapped tightly around my waist, effectively preventing me from moving- not that I wanted to. I could hear the steady thump of his heart, the stable beat lulling me into a half-asleep state. I was positive I would fall asleep any second when he broke the silence, his voice carrying through my ears as though I was imagining him talking.
"Did you really mean what you said last night? About wanting me to stay?" He whispered, my heart thumping guiltily in my chest as I recalled what I said to him in my sleep-deprived state. In that moment I debated pretending that I had fallen asleep, we hadn't spoken in over an hour so I was sure he would believe that I was. It was clear in the tone of his voice that even he was hesitant to ask... so maybe we could just forget I had said anything.
"We don't have to talk about that." I spoke before my brain had truly caught up, internally cursing myself for ruining my plan of being asleep.
"Yes we do. Did you mean it?"
"I did." I sighed after a moment, my breath catching in my throat as I took note of how his heart rate had increased slightly.
"Kaylee-"
"I meant it, Luke... but I'm not going to ask you to stay. That would be selfish of me... I know you hate it here." I cursed myself as my mouth continued to move without even thinking about it.
"Kay-"
"We really don't have to-"
"Kaylee, listen to me!" I flinched at the harsh tone in his voice, my teeth sinking into my lip to keep me from interrupting again. "Did you mean what you said about being alone?"
"Yes."
"I don't want to leave you alone." He breathed, sifting one of his hands gently through the strands of my hair. "Maybe you could come to Australia with me... I mean you could stay with me for a little to see- uh... see if you like there, and if you do then you could, um, maybe just stay with me? Maybe?"
"Maybe." I mumbled, letting the silence fall over us. A part of me just didn't know how to respond- completely shocked that he had even brought up the idea of me going to Australia. I couldn't deny that I had thought about it myself many times, but I never thought he would be the one to suggest it. I felt like I was always more open with my feelings towards him- that and he could easily read me like a book whereas I could never decipher what he was thinking.
I was so lost in my thoughts about the possibility of going to Australia with him that I didn't remember falling asleep. One minute I was fantasizing an apartment with Luke where I wouldn't have trouble sleeping ever again, and the next I was jolting awake at the sound of a slamming door.
I was still laying on top of Luke, though he was still fast asleep. His hands were locked around my waist, one of his legs bent up against the back of the couch so I rested comfortably between his thighs, and my hands were resting along his chest where my head had been moments before.
"I'm so sorry, did I wake you?" I turned slowly at the sound of my mother's voice, her body freezing as she glanced between the two of us.
"What time is it?"
"Six thirty."
"Seriously?"
"Yeah, did you sleep all day?" She chuckled, setting her bag down by the door before bending over to slip out of her heels.
"Yeah... I guess we did." I answered, frowning as I tried to remember what time it was when I had put in the last movie, but I couldn't quite remember.
"I'm glad you're sleeping, though. I was getting sick of hearing Gossip Girl echo throughout the house." She teased.
"Was it that loud?" I questioned, trying to think about all the nights that I had given up on trying to sleep and turned on my tablet instead. Although all those nights kinda blurred together and I guess in my sleep deprived state I didn't really care about the volume.
"Yes." She groaned lowly, as if to accentuate her point.
"Whoops."
"Is pizza okay for dinner?" She asked, her footsteps echoing around the room as she started walking towards the kitchen. I glanced back down to Luke as he stirred lightly beneath me, a small smile tugging at my lips as I recalled out conversation before we fell asleep.
"Yeah."
"Okay. Oh, and Liz said Luke could stay tonight but he has to be home tomorrow by noon."
"Okay."
"What?" Just as my mom disappeared into the kitchen Luke spoke up. His voice was deeper than usual, a slight rasp to it that wasn't there earlier that caused by heart to skip a few beats.
"I told you you weren't leaving tonight." I giggled as he tilted his head in confusion, the look on his face similar to that of a lost puppy. "Your mom said you could stay, you just had to be home by noon tomorrow."
"Oh, sweet." He yawned, his eyes scrunching closed as his jaw dropped widely. I watched in amusement, grinning down at him as he finally opened his eyes to meet my gaze again. His blue eyes burned through me, though I could still see how tired he still felt. I couldn't deny it made me feel a little better knowing that I wasn't the only one suffering from being separated nightly. This attachment we both felt was clearly not normal, but maybe it was looming fear of limited time together that pushed us closer together. Whatever it was, I was glad I wasn't the only one feeling it.
My head fell forward, my forehead resting on his chest as I tightened my arms around his sides. I was just getting comfortable again when he squirmed beneath me, a slight gasp pushing through his lips as my forearms indirectly dug into his sides.
"My my... Mr. Hemmings, are you ticklish?" I asked, picking my head up from his chest slowly. His eyes went wide as he looked at the smirk on my face.
"What? No... psh, no." I examined his expression, watching as he tried to mask the worry flashing behind his eyes. He bit onto his bottom lip harshly, his body tensing below me as I shifted so my legs were on either side of his hips- effectively pinning him below me. "Kaylee." He warned, hands gripped onto my thighs tightly.
I let my head tilt to the side, giving him my best innocent puppy look I could muster, my hands slowly trailing down his chest. His eyes were glued to my hands, watching them intently as they slid around his hips. In an instant he had let go of my thighs to try and stop my hands from digging into his sides, but he was too late as a loud squeal pushed from his lungs. His booming laughter echoed around us as I continued to tickle his sides, a wide smile on my face at the sound. I had never heard him laugh like he was then, and I suddenly wished he would all the time.
"Kay-Kaylee." He struggles to speak in between harsh breaths, his chest rising and falling quickly as he also struggled to open his eyes. He was squirming uncontrollably beneath me, and in one sudden shift of his hips he had me falling off of him and falling ungracefully onto the floor. A strangled squeal left my lips as I fell, a loud thud echoing around us as I landed right on my back.
I groaned at the contact, my eyes closed as I tried to breath after the air was pushed from my lungs. Barely a second later I felt Luke above me, his legs on either side of my hips as he cupped my face gently.
"I'm so sorry. Are you okay?" He rushed, a quiet giggle leaving me as I nodded my head. Although as soon as I met his gaze I knew I was in it, a dark smirk now covering his face as he ducked his head to my ear. "Oh how the tables have turned."
"Don't." This time it was my turn to beg, eyes wide and pleading even though I knew it wouldn't stop him.
I sucked in a sharp breath as his fingers quickly found my sides, wriggling around and releasing uncontrollable laughter from my lungs. I found it hard to breathe, my lungs physically hurting after having the air shoved from them after falling and now as I struggled to suck in a solid breath. My hands hit against his chest even though I knew it would do nothing to stop him. I could barely squirm beneath him, his weight and his thighs around my waist keeping me locked in place.
"Lu-Luke." I tried, tears falling from the corners of my eyes just as my abdominal muscles began to burn. "Luke!" I shrieked, and within the next second his hands stopped their movement as his mouth crashed down onto mine- claiming it swiftly.
I gasped as he kissed me roughly, his hands on either side of my head as he held himself above me, his tongue sliding into my mouth to massage mine. He swallowed the low whine that came erupted from my throat, harsh breaths pushing out of my nose as I was still struggling to catch my breath.
My hands slid under his shirt, feeling the heated skin right above the band of his jeans, one of his hands tangling into my hair on the floor. My neck strained as I lifted it, adding to the pressure between our moving lips. There was a sense of urgency behind the way his lips folded over mine, a low groan leaving him as he pushed forward to force my head back to the ground.
I could faintly hear a knock on the door, my hands moving quickly to wrap around his neck to keep him from pulling away. I felt his lis quirk up slightly before he was letting his teeth sink into my bottom lip. He tugged it back slowly before pecking my lips one last time. We were both breathing heavily as he pulled back, a sad grin pulling at his lips as held an intense stare.
"Kaylee, can you get that? It's the pizza!"
The rest of the night was relatively uneventful. My mom had joined us in the living room with plates and a two-liter of sprite for us to share. We had put on Family Feud while we ate before my mom had brought out a deck of cards. We had taught Luke how to play a few games before I had excused myself to shower.
I didn't miss the way Luke's eyes went wide when I mentioned a shower, remembering the last time he had asked if he could join me. If my mother hadn't been home then I may have actually let him this time.
I tossed my wet hair over my shoulder, pulling on Luke's sweatshirt and not even bothering with pants before making my way back towards the living room. I immediately heard hushed voices, my feet slowing so I could listen. I wasn't even in the same room as them but I could feel the tension as I approached the last corner.
"She's afraid." I practically held my breath as I heard my mother speak, her voice low. I wasn't sure if she was trying to keep quiet to keep me from hearing, or just because the topic of conversation was a little dark. "She lost her father and I don't think she ever truly recovered. Has she told you want happened to him?" My heart thumped heavily in my chest, my hand raising to tug at my lip as I listened carefully.
"Uh... she said you guys lost him four years ago, in an accident?" I frowned at the shake in Luke's voice. I wanted to go out and comfort him, save him from the anxiety he was feeling of having such a serious conversation with my mother. But I wanted to know where she was going with this.
"He was driving home from work." My frown deepened as she started retelling the worst day of my life. "It was storming, pretty badly. He was... he was hit by a drunk driver, who died on impact, but her father's car flipped over the bridge and sunk to the bottom of the lake." She paused, sucking in a deep breath. I hadn't talked to anybody about how my father died and it didn't hurt any less hearing it from her. "Cause of death was oxygen deprivation- he drowned. He had just gotten off the phone with her, too. He called her every day on his way home from work, and he had just hung up on her. He was here, and then just like he wasn't." I took in a shaky breath, tears stinging my eyes as she paraphrased what we had gone through.
"She knew something was wrong almost instantly. She had come running out of her room, all frazzled and upset. She was crying hysterically, mumbling something that I couldn't quite understand. The only word I did understand was 'dad'. We called him fifteen times before the police had showed up at our door, and she lost it all over again. She sobbed for days, she refused to eat, she couldn't sleep... she was a mess."
"I'm so sorry." Luke whispered, the volume stolen from his voice. I hated that I could hear the same tone in his voice that we got from everyone after it happened. I didn't want anyone's pity... some asshole had thought it was a good idea to get behind the wheel after drinking and my dad had paid the price.
"She's worried that it's going to happen again." My mom continued. "She's worried that she's going to break just like she did when she lost her dad, but this time it'll be from losing you. You're here now, but you're going to blink and suddenly you're on a plane home."
"It's not my intention to hurt her like that."
"I know." My mom assured him. "But you see where I'm worried, as her mother. I don't want to see her like that ever again. I know she likes you, do you like her?"
"Yes ma'am." I peaked around the corner slowly, my eyes finding Luke before my lips quirked upwards. A dark blush had taken over his cheeks, his eyes locked onto his hands which he played with in his lap.
"You only have six months... make sure you make the best of them."
"Yes ma'am."
I took a deep breath to calm my nerves before walking around the corner to make myself known. I pretended like I hadn't heard their conversation, grinning at them before reaching my hand out for Luke. I figured he had had enough of my mother for one night, and I knew I was ready to curl up into my bed with him.
"Bed?" I asked, his eyes frantically flying around the room to land on anything but me. He nodded slowly, even as he didn't look at me. "Goodnight mom."
"Night, honey. Night, Luke."
"Goodnight, Ms. Thompson." Luke squeaked, his voice a couple pitches higher than normal.
I gripped his hand as I tugged him back to my room, giggling to myself as I heard him let out a huff of breath before falling into my bed. I shut my door behind me, watching him carefully as I slid into bed next to him.
"You okay?" I asked, moving to pull my covers over me even though he didn't move.
"Hmm." He hummed, finally moving to slide under my comforter. "I just want to hold you." He admitted, heat rushing up my neck. He easily slid his arms around me, pulling my body effortlessly into him as he shoved his head into the crook of my neck. I shivered as he puckered his lips against the skin.
"You good?" I asked again, not entirely convinced that he was saying what he wanted to.
"You... you know how much I like you, right?" I furrowed my eyebrows at his question, his lips still puckering against the skin of my neck as he stayed hidden there.
"What?"
"I just... I don't want you to think... I... when I leave I'm going to be just as torn apart about leaving you." He whispered, his words barely audible as though he were afraid of speaking the truth.
I wasn't sure how to respond to his confession. I hadn't ever really thought about how he was going to feel when he inevitably left. I had been so caught up thinking about what I was losing that I didn't think about the fact that he was losing the same thing- assuming he was just as attached as I was.
"What... what is this?" I said instead of acknowledging what he had admitted.
"I... I don't know." He muttered, lips grazing my skin as he spoke. I tugged gently at his hair, pulling him from my neck to force him to look at me. "But I know that I like you... a lot more than I probably should."
"This isn't normal." I told him, voicing a thought that had crossed my mind earlier. "Whatever is happening here... it's not normal that I can't sleep without you physically next to me."
"I know." He agreed. "But I wouldn't change it." He muttered, ducking his head to push his lips to mine gently. It was a simple kiss, lips simply resting against one another, but it had my heart pounding in my chest. "Goodnight, baby."
"Baby?" I teased, grinning as he shifted his body against mine- pushing one of his legs between mine as he hauled my body on top of his from the waist up.
"Mhmm. My baby." My hands trailed lightly along his chest, my heart pounding faster at his words. He may not have labelled whatever we were, but claiming me as his was good enough for now. My lips pushed against his chest in appreciation, hoping he understood how much a few simple words actually meant to me.
"Goodnight."
A/N
SORRY THIS TOOK ME FOREVER BUT I HOPE YOU ENJOYPLEEEEEEASE VOTE AND COMMMENT THNX