‧̍̊˙· 𓆝.° ｡˚𓆛˚｡ °.𓆞 ·˙‧̍̊
𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐨, 𝐒𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐧𝐚 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐝.
Or different then her usual weird, anyways.
Cool and passionate at the same time, Silena's brand of weird comes in the form of furrowed eyebrows, clenched fists and antagonising Star Wars nerds in the hallways of Silverwood High. Unapproachable yet fiercely protective; it possesses all the qualities of an unapologetic emo kid, deceivingly packaged into the body of a stereotypical cheerleader.
This, though, are no mere furrowed eyebrows.
It's Mena looking to the side, only to be met with Silena's unwavering gaze as soon as she looks back. It's Silena's voice going strangely soft at times, or her laughing at Mena's jokes before she can remember to scowl. It's Silena not only waiting for Mena to tie her shoelaces (the way she never did before) but also occasionally sighing and leaning down to do it herself.
And as of late, it's the questions.
God, the questions. So many of them, and each more baffling than the last.
The first time it happens, they're studying for a chemistry test in Silena's bedroom. It's a study session like every other: with both of them wearing their cosiest jumpers, heads pressed close together as Mena over-gesticulates her explanations, and Silena pouts at the page in confusion.
This time, however, she isn't looking at the page at all.
At first, Mena tries to ignore it. She is, after all, the one explaining stuff- and although she reckons it'd be much more effective if Silena could keep her eyes on the book, looking at the person talking to you isn't quite so uncanny, either. It isn't until after they start individually working through the tasks that Mena finally lets her pen fall against the table with a loud thump.
"Alright, what's up? Do I have something on my face?"
Silena merely shrugs.
She doesn't seem too basful about the fact that Mena just caught her staring. In fact, her mind seems to be light years away from this small, warm room. Mena could probably have a tarantula on her face, and Silena wouldn't know to tell her all the same.
Mena squints.
"Have you even been listening to me?" she pokes Silena's shoulder, as if to wake her from a trance. "Seriously, are you drunk?"
The poking does work, in a way. Silena snaps out of her thoughts, but doesn't frown. Doesn't pull away or cross her arms over her chest. Instead, she does something way worse.
She smiles.
"No," Silena says. "And I am listening. You're very smart."
And, okay.
What, with all due respect, the fuck?
"Uh," Mena says, because all of the words she once knew have now been replaced with the Windows shutting down sound. "Hah. What?"
Silena ignores her entirely.
"What are your favourite flowers?"
Mena squints harder. Partially because she doesn't know what's going on, and partially because the proximity of the other's face is making her forget every flower name she had ever known.
"...Peonies?"
Silena grins. Actually fucking grins.
"Perfect. Mine's baby's breath."
Mena waits for her to add something.
She doesn't.
"Care to elaborate?"
"Not really, no," Silena shrugs. And then, as though this was all completely normal, she says: "Can you walk me through task four again?"
For a second, Mena wonders which one of them is going mad. She doesn't come up with an answer.
They walk through task four.
-
The second time it happens, Silena is fresh out of the shower.
That itself is not so strange. Silena takes showers, as most people do. She also comes out of those showers, eventually, because that's just how that sort of a thing goes. Usually, Mena comes up with a hilarious comment to throw her way. Something ingenious such as wonder what took you so long? or did it get steamy in here, or is it just you? Occasionally, if she's really feeling ready to risk sleeping on the floor, maybe even hope you were thinking of me in there.
Anything, really, that makes the other girl roll her eyes while trying to frown away her blush.
Usually, though, Silena has clothes on.
It happens on a lazy Saturday evening, while Mena is lying on their bed and texting with the people back at home. Covered by a soft blanket and resting against Silena's small armada of pillows, she's just about to send a text to her grandma when the door that leads to the bathroom bursts right open.
With a squeak, Mena pulls the blanket way up over her head.
"That's really unnecessary."
Even from under the blankets, Mena can feel the scent of Silena's stupid jasmine shampoo.
"You're naked," Mena protests. "I'm trying to be respectful."
Silena scoffs.
"I'm not naked. Be as disrespectful as you'd like, just come out."
"I'm bisexual."
"You're annoying. I meant come out of the blankets."
"No, I'm saying. I'm bisexual. Seeing you in a towel makes me feel like pointing that out."
She doesn't need to look to know that Silena is blushing. And also frowning, probably. She's predictable like that. It'd be funny, if it wasn't also cute in a way that is currently making Mena feel incredibly confused.
"Shut up. I need to ask you something."
Mena frantically tries to collect her thoughts.
This is cool. So cool. Not a big deal at all, really. It's just Silena. It's just Mena's super hot roommate, standing there half-naked. Just a Silena in just a towel, with water droplets shining tauntingly against her collarbones. No reason to panic.
Mena inhales. Counts to three. Exhales.
Then, cautiously, she peeks out.
"This couldn't wait?"
Silena, again, doesn't answer. Mena isn't sure why she even bothers. Instead, she only lets out a heavy sigh, as though Mena is the ridiculous one in this scenario.
And, okay.
To be perfectly fair, it's not like she's actually fully naked, or anything.
A fluffy white towel is wrapped loosely around her body, and her still soapy hair falls on to her shoulders. The slight flush of her body- presumably from the hot water- does put some distracting images into Mena's head, but still. She is, by all the regularly used definitions of the word, decent.
It's Mena's mind that's taking it to entirely indecent places.
Which, alright, nope. Shutting that thought process down immediately.
"So," Mena says, after what definitely must have been an awkward amount of time to spend staring at your almost-naked friend. "What's up?"
Completely ignoring the fact that she's still wet, Silena takes a seat at the edge of the bed. She looks very serious, and Mena tries to mirror that. She also tries not to look at the way this sitting position makes Silena's towel shift a bit higher up her thigh.
She fails, and instead leans back to look at the ceiling.
"What are your thoughts," Silena begins. "On the subject of confetti?"
On impulse, Mena turns her head to look at her.
That is a mistake. Obviously. For some reason, she immediately thinks about kissing the spot where Silena's neck meets her shoulder. It's a bizarre thought, and it makes her stomach drop to her feet.
She looks away.
"What."
"Confetti," Silena repeats, like this is a totally regular conversation that they're having. "During big confession scenes in movies or whatever. Romantic or tacky?"
Finally able to process the words, Mena squints up at the ceiling.
"Hold on, I'm sorry. You stopped your shower to ask me about confetti?"
Silena rolls her eyes. Mena doesn't see her do it, but she feels it in the air.
"Are you going to answer or not? I'm getting cold."
"Right, no, yeah. I mean, I guess it depends on the situation? I like them."
Silena nods, expression thoughtful. Then the bed bounces back slightly, and Mena knows that she got back up on her feet.
"Okay. Thank you."
Still not looking in her direction, Mena raises her arm and gives her a thumb up.
"I'm going back to the shower now."
Mena takes an audible breath of relief.
"Yeah. Yes, of course. Well, have fun."
"Sure," Silena responds. And then, almost flippantly, she adds: "I'll think about you."
Mena chokes on that singular breath that she took.
"Um," she croaks out."What."
Silena wipes off a droplet that almost fell down her arm. She only pays Mena's crisis half of her consciousness.
"It's a joke, Mena. Isn't that what you always tell me?"
That is what Mena always tells her.
But Silena never jokes back.
"I knew that," she defends herself. "Just wasn't aware that you can actually understand jokes."
"Maybe you just don't tell any good ones."
Mena grabs one of the pillows, and blindly throws it in Silena's direction. Judging by the loud crash only a second later, she misses entirely.
"Oopsie."
Silena shakes her head.
"I'm leaving now."
"Yeah, you do that" Mena agrees. "And, uh. Think about me?"
Silena laughs. It is, quite concerningly, the prettiest sound Mena has ever heard.
"Of course."
As soon as she leaves the room, Mena covers her face with a pillow.
Then, she screams.
-
In retrospect, she definitely should have realised what was going on.
It was all very obvious. Silena disappearing for hours, only to come back covered in glitter, pink sharpie staining her hands. Showing interest in movies with promposal scenes, and wanting to know Mena's favourite flowers.
And her favourite colours.
And her favourite songs.
She wasn't even trying to be subtle about it. Just like with everything else in her life, Silena's only approach to this was to be perfectly and bafflingly blunt.
The only reason why Mena missed it, really, is because she was too busy dealing with her stupid teenage hormones (and the thinking-around-Silena issues that came with those) to make any obvious conclusions.
But maybe it's better that way.
She would have loved this even if she knew it was coming, of course. This way, though, she feels like she's ready to float away.
Or maybe she already did.
Standing here- on the football field, surrounded by confetti (totally romantic and not at all tacky, by the way) and holding a pretty girl's hand- Mena is quite sure that she entered an entirely different reality.
The cheer team stands to the side, still giddy from the performance, while Mena and Silena stand in the middle of the field. One of Silena's hands is clutched tightly in Mena's own, while the other still holds on to the glittering sign. The letters are painted in such a bright pink colour, they're visible even to the people in the very last row.
Make me your Valentine.
It's very cheesy, and undoubtedly Emi's idea. Or Lyrica's. Or pretty much anyone's but Silena's own. She acts as though the last name pun is the most embarrassing thing in the world.
Mena is delighted by it.
"So," Silena, a bright smile on her pretty blushing face. "You liked it?"
Mena raises her arms up dramatically. She's not sure exactly what it is that she has been doing with her limbs while trying to release all this happy energy inside of her, but it sure is a lot.
"Did I like it, she asks," Mena exclaims. "Oh my God. Shut your face."
Silena tilts her head and does her cute little bunny nose thing again.
"...Is that a yes or a no?"
Mena feels an overwhelming urge to place a hand above her heart. Instead, she lowers her hands, but only to put them on either side of Silena's cheeks. The other girl tries her best to look annoyed by this, though Mena can see the amusement shining in her eyes.
"Obviously yes," she says, before squishing Silena's cheeks even closer. "This is literally a dream come true. I could kiss you right now."
Silena's eyes go comically wide.
"Um."
"I mean, I won't. But I could."
A short silence occurs.
"That's...Good to know?"
Mena arches an eyebrow.
"It's good to know that I'd kiss you?"
"Please stop saying that."
"Because I would. I'm doing it right now, in my mind."
"Oh, great."
"It's really hot."
"Please die."
"There's tongue."
Finally, Silena breaks free of her hold, swatting her hands away with a small laugh.
"Alright, knock it off."
Instead of letting go of Mena's hands, however, she only tightens the hold.
"I'm glad you liked it, though."
Mena looks down at their joined hands, swinging them around for a bit, and then back up. If her gaze is suspiciously soft, she doesn't care enough to try and hide it.
"It was perfect. I had no idea you have that in you."
"I don't," Silena huffs, shrugging lightly. "But I figured it's the type of thing you'd enjoy, so I-"
She cuts herself off, shaking her head. The words implied turn electric in the air between them.
"Well, anyway," Silena clears her throat, reaching into the pocket of her bag. "I have something else for you."
Mena perks up even more, if such a thing is even possible. Curious, she leans forward and closer into Silena's space.
"Another surprise? You're really spoiling me, Valentine."
"You'll live," Silena says, deadpan. It's different than her usual, natural unbothered vibe, though. Almost like she's trying to hide the fact that she's actually nervous. She quickly presses a small box into Mena's hands.
As soon as she opens it a small gasp escapes Mena's lips.
Silena shifts on her feet.
"It's not as showy as all the rest of that was, but...y'know."
She doesn't finish the sentence. Even if she did, Mena doubts that she would be able to hear her. The giddiness in her chest is, somehow, near deafening.
Mena looks up, and Silena's mouth snaps shut.
"You didn't ask me any weird, highly-specific questions about this one."
It's not the most extravagant of necklaces. An antique-looking heart locket hangs from a simple chain, decorated with dainty details. It looks incredibly romantic, though, and definitely like something the heroines of Mena's favourite period romance novels would wear.
She opens it, and her heart sets a highly concerning beat.
"That was more of a spur of the moment decision," Silena explains. "I saw it while Emi and I were looking for balloons at the mall, and it just... Reminded me of you, I guess? And then I also put the stuff inside."
She makes a face, as though she's cringing at her own words.
"Blegh. This is so dumb."
Mena shakes her head quickly, clutching the necklace in both her hands, and bringing it to her chest.
"It's not. I love it. This is probably the sweetest thing anyone ever got me."
Slowly, Silena allows a small smile back on her face.
"Good. That's... good," she clears her throat. "Do you want to head back towards the team? So I can put it on for you?"
Mena looks to where the rest of the team is standing, waiting for them to join so that they can all go to the diner together. She frowns, confused.
"Why would we have to go there to do that?"
Silena looks at her weird.
Looks at her like it should be obvious.
"Well, you know. The whole fake dating thing? I thought we could make it a part of the show."
Just like that, the balloon Mena had been floating on suddenly pops.
She's not sure why that happens. Of course, they're just acting. Of course, Silena is only doing all of this because they have to put on a show. Of course, she doesn't actually care for Mena's favourite flowers. She's just pretending.
Of course she is.
So why does Mena feel so disappointed about it?
It doesn't make any sense at all.
"Right," she says. Then, while pulling her hand out of Silena's: "You know, actually, I need to go to the bathroom really quick."
She waits for something to happen. In movies, isn't this the part where something happens?
But Silena only nods, unsuspecting. What should she even suspect? This is all perfectly normal for them. It's what they've been doing all along. And if Mena suddenly feels a need to keep the necklace just to herself, well. That's hardly Silena's problem.
"We'll wait for you in the parking lot, then?"
"Yeah," Mena agrees, a little dazed. "You guys go right ahead. I'll meet you there."
She moves to leave. Then, at the last moment, she turns back.
"Thank you, by the way."
Silena smiles. She leans in, and presses a quick kiss against the top of her fake (fake fake fake) girlfriend's head.
Mena would usually beam at such attention. Would gloat about it, probably. But something about the way Silena's eyes shift to where Jonah is sitting just as she does it makes her head swim for reasons she's struggling to comprehend.
"No problem."
Mena doesn't trust herself enough to respond.
Instead, for the second time that year, she finds herself quickly making her way to the bathroom. The necklace thumps around in her pocket.
There, inside of the locket, stand two pressed flowers.
A peony, and a baby's breath.
-
so....i'm alive? i won't bother you guys with the reasons as to why i didn't update for such a long time, but i will say that i am now back on my weekly schedule! i'm really sorry for making you wait so long, and thanks for being patient with me <3