By the end of the following week, Jimin felt as if his nerves were strung as tight as a newly tuned piano's strings. After Jungkook's brothers left for home, Jungkook had retreated into himself. He hadn't touched him, kissed him—had hardly looked at him in days. And the strain of that was beginning to take its toll.
While Jimin stood at his bedroom window looking out at the night, his mind raced even as he stood as if frozen in place.
Sensing a coming confrontation between him and Jungkook, Jimin had made a trip into the local town and found the pregnancy test he'd been looking for. But buying it didn't mean using it. The tidy blue box was still sitting in the cupboard beneath his bathroom sink, unopened.
Jimin knew why he was hesitating to use it, of course. If he wasn't pregnant, then he'll be staying on, whether Jungkook approved or not—he'd find a way to stay close. To fight Jungkook's instincts to chase him off. If he was pregnant, then he could leave—just as Jungkook wanted him to.
As Jimin planned.
Which, Jimin told himself sadly, was exactly why he hadn't used the test kit yet. He didn't want to go. Didn't want to leave Jungkook, this place and the handful of employees that had given him such a feeling of family. He was a part of the life here now. He'd become one of them. He'd found his place in the world, found the one man he wanted above all others and he didn't want to lose any of it.
Giving up went against Jimin's very nature.
But was it giving up to leave when that had been the original plan? And was it worth it to stay if Jungkook never allowed himself to care for him? God, his head hurt.
"What're you doing?"
Melody yipped in excitement from her perch on the bed and Jimin spun around to face Jungkook when he spoke up from the doorway to Jimin's bedroom.
"Nothing," Jimin blurted because Jungkook caught him off guard and at a vulnerable moment. He forced a smile that felt brittle and false. "Just thinking."
Jungkook walked into the room and didn't stop until he was no more than an arm's reach away. He ignored Melody, who pranced to the edge of the bed, hoping for a scratch and head rub.
"I've been doing some thinking, too." Jungkook said and he didn't look any happier with his thoughts.
The time had come.
Everything inside Jimin braced for whatever was next.
When silence spun out between them, Jimin took it for as long as he could and then felt what little patience he had left splinter and blurted, "For heaven's sake, Jungkook, just say it."
Jungkook's brows drew together and his mouth flattened into a grim line. "Say what?"
"What you came here to say," Jimin challenged. "What you've been dying to say since the day I arrived. You want me to leave the mountain."
"You're wrong," Jungkook ground out. Shoving one hand through his hair, he stalked past Jimin, looked out the window and, after a long minute, swiveled his head to lock his gaze with Jimin. "I don't want you to go..."
Jimin's heart swelled and an instant later deflated as if someone had popped it with a needle.
"...which is why you have to."
Jimin blinked at him, shook his head and finally managed to say, "That makes absolutely no sense."
"Doesn't have to," Jungkook told him flatly. "Like I said before, my mountain, my rules."
So cold.
So hard.
So distant.
Not the man Jimin had come to know at all. Jungkook was already pulling away so fast that he could hardly reach him. And that tore Jimin's heart.
"So I'm supposed to just leave. Without an explanation. Without—Why, Jungkook? Do I worry you that much?"
Jungkook laughed shortly, but there was no humor in the sound. "You don't worry me, Jimin. You just have to go."
"Why?"
"Don't make this harder than it has to be." Jungkook told him.
"Oh, I think I will." As Jimin said it, as his spine stiffened and his shoulders squared, he realized that he was going to fight to stay, not even knowing if he was pregnant or not, he was going to take a stand. Because looking up into Jungkook's frozen-brown eyes, Jimin knew he was something worth fighting for. What they had together was too important to let die without a battle.
Jungkook looked like the cold-eyed warrior he was, Jimin thought. But his brother had been a Marine, too. Now, Jungkook was about to realize that this Park could be just as tough as any combat-hardened Marine.
And Jimin fired his biggest gun with his first salvo. "I love you."
Jungkook's features went blank and, if possible, his eyes became even icier, more remote. "No, you don't."
Anger, hot and alive, pumped through Jimin and he stepped right up to him. Tipping his head back so he could give Jungkook a full power glare, and said, "You might think you know everything, Jeon Jungkook, but you do not get to tell me what I do and don't feel. I said I love you. And I meant it. Now you have to deal with it."
Jimin didn't have to wait long for his response and, frankly, it was pretty much just what he had expected.
"You think I'm blind, Jimin?" Jungkook countered, looming over him. His voice was low, rough and sounded as if the words were being ripped from his soul. "You think I don't see what's really going on? It's not me that you love. It's being here, with me, with Seo and the others. You've been lonely since your brother died and now you've made us the family you want back so badly."
Jimin felt as if Jungkook slapped him. Perhaps there was some truth in his words, but it wasn't the whole picture, not by a long shot.
Yes, Jimin had come here looking to find a family again. He hadn't expected to find love, but he had. And he wouldn't let Jungkook make that less than it was.
Honestly. Jimin told him he loved him and Jungkook threw his feelings back in his face? What kind of man did something that stupid?
"You idiot. Do you really believe I'm that big a simpleton? Do you think I don't know the difference between love and longing?" Jimin fisted his hands at his hips and leaned in, narrowing his gaze on Jungkook until his eyes were mere slits of fury. "Of course I was lonely. But I didn't just pick the first man I ran into to become the family I miss so much. I came here because you knew my brother. I didn't come looking for a husband or someone to cling to. I don't cling. I didn't mean to fall for you. It just...happened."
Jungkook frowned, but Jimin wasn't finished.
"Of all the arrogant, foolish, stubborn men in the world, why is it you I had to fall in love with?" Shaking his head, Jimin reached up and yanked at his own hair in frustration. "YOU'RE SO DETERMINED TO LOCK YOURSELF AWAY UP ON THIS MOUNTAIN, SHUT AWAY FROM ANYTHING OR ANYONE WHO MIGHT MATTER TO YOU THAT YOU ABSOLUTELY REFUSE TO SEE THAT NOT ONLY DO I LOVE YOU, BUT YOU LOVE ME BACK!"
Jungkook took a step away, ground his teeth together so hard that Jimin could see a muscle in his jaw twitch.
He watched as Jungkook fought for control and finally managed it. Only then did Jungkook speak.
"You know, I didn't ask for this. Didn't want it." Jungkook blew out a breath. "You're the one who showed up and wouldn't go away. You're the one who kept pushing and prodding me until I was in a corner."
"Poor you." Jimin said with a slow shake of his head.
A smirk curved at Jungkook's lips briefly. "Justine and Taehyung don't know about how tough you are," he said. "You could give their partners a lessons."
"Thank you."
"Not sure it was a compliment."
"I am. I'm not afraid to say what I want. To fight for what I want. Are you?"
Jungkook inhaled sharply, deeply. "If it's other man said that to me, I'd punch him." He admitted.
"Really?"
Jungkook didn't respond to that. "I made up my mind before I left with my brothers that when I came back, I was going to take you to bed and keep you there for twenty-four straight hours and then I was going to send you away. For your own good."
Jimin rocked in place, shaken by his words. "But you haven't touched me in days."
"Because when I got back and saw you again... I knew that if I touched you I'd never let you go. And I have to let you go."
Something small and sharp seemed to tear at Jimin's heart. "Why?"
Jungkook shook his head.
"There are things you don't know..."
"So tell me." Jimin countered.
Jungkook scrubbed one hand across his face.
"Honestly, Jungkook, does the thought of being loved really engender so much panic?"
"Not panic, no," Jungkook told Jimin honestly, the shutters in his eyes lifting slightly, the ice there melting just enough for Jimin to see a glimmer of warmth shining out at him. "But second thoughts, even third...yes. You don't know what you're doing."
"You're wrong." Jimin walked toward Jungkook, one deliberate step after another.
Jungkook stood his ground. Not backing away. Not turning away from him. Just watching Jimin with a fire in his eyes that melted the last of his anger and fueled another emotion entirely.
"No, I'm not," Jungkook said softly, gaze locked as Jimin approached. "If you knew what was good for you, you'd pack up your stuff and be off the mountain inside an hour."
"I'm not going anywhere."
"To tell the truth, never thought you would," Jungkook admitted and swallowed hard as he reached for Jimin. "I may be damned for this one day, but God help me, I can't let you go. Won't let you go."
"What're you saying?" Jimin whispered.
"I'm saying that right here, right now, I need you." Jungkook took a breath. "Not talking about a future or happily ever after. Don't ever count on a future. Right now is all I can offer."
"Then for now," Jimin said, "that's all I'll ask for."
Jungkook's arms came around him like a vise, holding him, pressing his body's length.
Jimin buried his face in the curve of Jungkook's neck as he clung to him and the warmth spread into their body, filling all the cold, empty places they'd been living with for days.
Jimin loved him and Jungkook was going to let him. For however long it lasted, Jungkook would take what Jimin so wanted to give and give him what he could in return.
Jungkook had never thought of himself as the 'forever' kind of man, but he knew that for right now, he was where he belonged. With the man he wanted above all else.
When Jungkook cupped Jimin's face with his palm, he kissed him with a depth that left him hungry for what he found only with Jimin. But an instant later, that moment was shattered by a single shout from outside.
"FIRE!"
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A/N:
Fire~ Fire~ 🎶
Borahae 💜💜💜