My heart pounded faster and faster with each passing second those words floated through my mind. I stared at him with wide eyes before a grin appeared on my face, and my heart skipped a beat. "Really?" I asked and shifted just a bit to stand.
Vanar rolled his eyes and scowled. "No," he said sarcastically. "I just said that you could so I could watch your face fall when I told you that I was kidding."
I rolled my eyes and stood, not even scowling. I couldn't help but keep smiling because I was so happy; it was a dream come true to hear those words come out of his mouth. "Very funny, Shad," I said. I walked over to him and placed my hand on his neck. "Thank you," I whispered and rubbed his neck.
Vanar snorted and nudged my stomach, and I moved back a small step. He kept his head where it was, and I moved my hands until I was rubbing his ears. "I don't want you to ride me in here," he said, and my heart sank.
"Then where do you want her to ride you?" Serena asked, confused. "Do you want her to ride you out of the pasture or in the arena where she rides the other horses?"
"In the arena where she rides the other horses," he replied. He sighed sarcastically, and I rolled my eyes and scowled because I had no idea what his problem was. "I guess I will wear a saddle and bridle like a "normal" horse."
"But you aren't normal, though," I said and rubbed his ears some more. "I mean... I don't think you have a saddle or a bridle. Your spot is empty where there should be a bridle and saddle for us to use."
"I... actually packed it away," Serena said and rubbed the back of her neck. She shifted on her feet while she looked between the two of us. Her eyes were wide, and she looked guilty for some reason. "I was supposed to throw it out, but I didn't."
I furrowed my brows and cocked my head while I studied him. "Why do you look guilty that you didn't throw it out?" I asked, and she ducked her head. I pressed my lips into a thin line and waited for her to respond.
She cleared her throat and rubbed a hand across the back of her neck. "Because it's a bit damaged," she replied. "Unfortunately, I don't have anything else that..." She trailed off, and I cocked my head further while I studied her.
"That I can use?" I asked and looked at her, and she hesitantly nodded. I raised an eyebrow in question while I studied her. "But you do have something, right?"
She looked at Vanar before she looked at me. "I do," she confirmed. "However, it is going to have people ask a lot of questions, especially if..." She trailed off and cleared her throat.
I studied her some more and then realized what she was talking about. My eyes grew wide, and I looked around before I looked at him. "If someone from that world comes over?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper, and she hesitated but nodded.
"Then I guess we have to make sure that no one from that world sees it," Vanar said. He moved his head from where he had it and looked at her. "So get it." He paused and looked at me before he looked at her. "It is only right that her first time riding me is using the stuff of her foremothers."
***
I furrowed my brows, confused, even though I had a small feeling that I knew what he was talking about. "Foremothers?" I asked, and he nodded in confirmation when he looked at me again. "What do you mean?"
Vanar snorted and rolled his eyes while he scowled. "You know what I mean, Hadley," he said in a tone that meant he wanted me to think for himself. "What do you think I mean? It's not like you haven't seen it before."
I took a deep breath and let out an annoyed sigh while I closed my eyes slightly. I could feel Serena looking at me, and I couldn't help but wonder if Adrianna had ever told her that she met me before her. "You have a big mouth sometimes; do you know that?" I asked and raised an eyebrow.
Vanar nodded, and he smirked, and I could tell that he felt good about himself since he told Serena about me knowing Adrianna. "I know," he said smugly. "You told me before, and I don't care."
I rolled my eyes and shook my head before I looked at Serena. I decided that I wouldn't get into an argument with him over that. "Do you still have that stuff?" I asked, and she nodded. "And is it still in riding condition?"
"Yes, Your Highness," she said while she nodded. "It is in riding condition." Her eyes grew wide when she called me "Your Highness," and her cheeks grew red. She groaned and placed her hands over her cheeks, and my cheeks started to match hers. "I am sorry, Hadley," she said apologetically. "You sounded like a princess right then, and I didn't know what else to say."
I cleared my throat and shifted on my feet, my cheeks turning another shade of red. "I'm sorry, Serena," I apologized. "I didn't mean to sound like I was ordering to do something. I-I just wanted to make sure that the stuff was ready to be used."
Serena shook her head and brushed off my apology. A small smile appeared on her face, and her eyes seemed to grow brighter as if she was relieved about something that I had done. "No, no," she said. "Don't apologize. You are a princess, Hadley. I am of service to you and to your siblings."
"I'm surprised that you aren't trying to hide your mistake," I said, feeling slightly amused. "I mean, I haven't told you that I knew I was a princess of Ilyrian or anything like that."
She smiled and shrugged. "I have talked with Adrian before, and he had mentioned it." She shook her head and chuckled, and a small, amused smile appeared on her face. "He got all worried and afraid because he didn't know if I knew that you knew about your lineage."
I slowly nodded and furrowed my brows. "How did you know that I knew about my lineage?" I asked. "Only Tigra and Lucas knew that I knew about it." I gestured to Vanar. "Vanar might have known that I did, too."
Vanar nodded. "I did," he confirmed. "I saw it on your face when you watched me interact with your dad."
"I did, too," Serena said, and she nodded when I looked at her with a silent questioning look. "I wanted to say something to you sooner, but I was nervous about how you would react." She smiled apologetically and rubbed the back of her neck. "I hope that you could forgive me?"
I nodded because I wasn't even mad that she knew and didn't say anything about her knowing that I knew I was a princess. I was relieved because I knew that Adrianna had trusted her a lot, or at least, I hoped that she had trusted her a lot; I didn't know and needed to find out. "It's fine," I said. "I am actually relieved that you knew that I know. It helps me out a lot."
Serena relaxed and nodded, and I could tell that she was happy that I wasn't mad at her. A relieved smile appeared on her face, and her eyes grew brighter and filled with tears. "I wish I could tell you all about Adrianna, but I can't," she said, her voice barely above a whisper. "However, what I can say is that she would be so proud of you. She knows how hard this stuff can be for you, but you are taking it in stride."
I smiled and dipped my head, making sure that my smile didn't waver. I was pleased that Adriana would have been proud of me while I went through this and taking it in stride, but there was a small part of me that doubted it.
What if I wasn't taking this in stride? What if this was all an act, and I was waiting for the curtain to close so that I could break? What would they think then?